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‘Meggie?’ Ellen Campbell, normally so calm and collected, looked flustered.
Meggie sat back on her haunches and looked at her friend and employer hovering at the nursery door.
‘Just give me a minute to finish wiping up this mess or someone’ll slip on it.’ She turned her attention back to the pool of porridge on the floor. ‘Our wee Ailsa’s been throwing it about again. She’s a little madam, so she is.’ Pulling herself up, Meggie lifted Ailsa out of her highchair and patted her on the bottom. ‘Off you go and play with the dolls’ house while I talk to your mama.’
Ellen leaned against the door, her hand on her breast.
‘I need you to help me with Kirsty.’
Meggie’s concern increased as she saw how upset Ellen was and heard the shortness in her breath.
‘Come and sit down.’ She crossed the room to Ellen and guided her to the armchair.
‘What’s up with our Kirsty?’ she asked, once Ellen was settled.
‘Oh, Meggie, she’s had some kind of seizure,’ Ellen wailed, ‘and I don’t know what to do. I spoke to her, but she ignored me. It was as if I wasn’t even there. Oh, Meggie, what are we to do?’
‘Start from the beginning,’ Meggie said. ‘You’re confusing me. Where is she? And why’s she in a state?’
Ellen twisted her hands together.
‘She’s been funny all morning. Arguing with her father, then storming out of the breakfast-room. So, I thought I’d better go and check if she was all right.’ Leaning forward, she grasped Meggie’s hands. ‘She was in her room, sitting on the bed. Tears pouring down her face, but she was laughing. She looked mad. And you should see the room, clothes everywhere, a broken mirror.’ Ellen raised her eyes to Meggie’s. ‘She’d even ripped one of her dresses to pieces. You don’t think she’s gone mad, do you?’
‘No, I’m sure she hasn’t. Not our Kirsty.’ Meggie freed her hands from Ellen’s grasp. ‘Why don’t I go and see what it’s all about?’
‘Would you?’ Ellen smiled through her tears.
‘Of course,’ Meggie said. ‘Will you keep our Ailsa out of mischief until I get back?’
‘Yes, yes,’ Ellen said. ‘This is her time with me, anyway.’
Meggie hurried through the corridors to Kirsty’s room. Poor Kirsty; she’d thought the girl had been hurting when she was in the nursery this morning. Were things getting too much for her?
Meggie pushed open the door. Ellen hadn’t exaggerated when she described the mess. If anything, it was worse than she’d portrayed. Meggie closed the door behind her, walked to the bed, sat beside Kirsty and took her in her arms.
‘Oh, you poor, poor dear,’ she murmured, rocking the girl the way she would have rocked a baby.
* * *
MEGGIE’S ARMS WERE warm and comforting, the way her mother’s arms should have been; but then, Meggie understood her, she always had. Not like her mother, who had never understood the depth of Kirsty’s anguish when she relinquished Ailsa. As far as her mother was concerned, she’d offered Kirsty the perfect solution when she covered up for her during the pregnancy by having a phantom one of her own and claiming the child when she was born.
‘This way is best,’ Kirsty remembered her mother saying. ‘You can have Ailsa for a sister instead of not having her at all.’
But although Kirsty couldn’t have Ailsa as a daughter, this situation was torturous.
Kirsty shifted in Meggie’s embrace and looked at the woman who had been better than a mother to her.
‘Why can’t she understand?’ she whispered. ‘Is she so unfeeling?’
‘Hush now,’ Meggie said. ‘She loves you and thinks she’s doing what’s right.’
Kirsty snorted. ‘She’s doing what she wants to do. She’s taken Ailsa from me and she thinks I’ll accept it. But I won’t.’
Meggie’s hands tightened around Kirsty’s shoulders.
‘You have accepted it. Ailsa’s growing fast – it’s only three months until her third birthday. She believes you’re her sister. You can’t change things now. Who’s to say it’s not for the best?’
Kirsty buried her head on Meggie’s shoulder.
‘But she’s mine,’ she wailed. ‘I can’t stand it any more.’
‘Think of Ailsa,’ Meggie said. ‘Think what her life might be like if it became known she was illegitimate.’ Meggie paused, seeming to weigh her words. ‘You wouldn’t want her known as Kirsty’s bastard, would you?’
Kirsty tried to wriggle free from Meggie’s grasp, but the woman’s arms were strong.
‘You’re right, you always are. My feelings don’t matter, what’s more important is Ailsa. I haven’t been very sensible.’
Meggie’s hands loosened on Kirsty’s shoulders.
‘That’s my good girl. Let’s tidy up, shall we?’ Meggie picked up dresses from the floor and heaved them on to the bed. ‘My, you have had a paddy,’ she said as she started to sort them out and hang them back in the wardrobe.
Shame washed over Kirsty.
‘It was childish of me,’ she admitted. ‘But I got so angry because they didn’t trust me. They think if they give me a little bit of freedom, I’ll bring more disgrace to the family.’ She shivered before continuing in a low voice. ‘They never believed it wasn’t my fault.’
‘I know.’ Meggie patted her shoulder before gesturing to some of the pieces of the green dress. ‘I’ll get rid of this,’ she said. ‘It’s not something you should keep.’
* * *
ELLEN AND AILSA LOOKED like a mother and daughter having fun together as they sat on the floor arranging the furniture in the dolls’ house.
Meggie hovered in the doorway to the nursery and sighed as she thought of Kirsty, alone in her bedroom.
Ellen scrambled to her feet.
‘Is Kirsty all right?’
‘She’s fine now,’ Meggie said. ‘It’s just that she hurts so much. I think it became a bit too much for her this year.’
‘I thought she’d got over it a long time ago.’ Ellen frowned. ‘What can we do?’
‘The lass doesn’t have enough in her life to keep her mind off things. Maybe if you gave her a wee bit more freedom?’ Meggie let the suggestion hang in the air.
‘But her father says she has all the freedom she needs. We provide her with money to spend. And she can come and go as she wants, within limits.’
‘Maybe she needs a wee bit more than that.’
‘But look what happened last time.’ Ellen’s eyes moved to look at Ailsa. ‘We thought we were being progressive parents, and we were simply being foolish.’
‘It wasn’t her fault.’ Meggie stared at Ellen until she looked away.
‘So Kirsty said.’ Ellen twisted her handkerchief in her hands. ‘But she must have led him on and who’s to say the same might not happen again?’
‘That was over three years ago,’ Meggie reminded her. ‘Don’t you think it’s maybe time you trusted her?’