‘You bitch. I don’t know where you’ve gone or what you think you’re doing but good riddance.’
Tarin shuddered as she thought about the four texts Stephen had sent her. He’d obviously arrived home and found her message—the dress with the scissors sticking out of it and a lot of her possessions gone. Never mind most of his suits. He’d sent her several nasty messages that for some reason she felt compelled to read. Part of her, perhaps, needed to know he was simply blowing hot air and had no plans to come after her. Thankfully, it looked as though he wasn’t going to waste his time or energy looking for her.
“More, Mommy.” Chance’s request for more watermelon brought her back to the present. His face was dripping with juice while he triumphantly held a squished piece in his hand. She gave him a new one. He proceeded to immediately suck on it.
“Thank you, Bobbie; that was great. You’ve obviously learned a thing or two about cooking since school.” Tarin sat back and patted a stomach filled with shrimp shish kabobs, crab cakes, puff pastries, vegetable salad and lemon meringue pie. Maybe she shouldn’t feel so relaxed, but for the first time in a long time she didn’t feel like she had to sit up straight or scan the area for kids’ toys to make sure they were out of the way. The last few days had been a whirlwind of packing, flying, driving and trying to settle into Bobbie’s basement. It felt so good to be lazing in the backyard as though she had no cares in the world. Bobbie had been gracious and so far, hadn’t asked too many questions about Stephen. All Tarin had told her was that he’d cheated on her. Bobbie had been ready to take him out at the knees. It made Tarin smile.
“Well, thank you. I got Mom’s chef to teach me. I was tired of mac and cheese, brown beans, toast.” They were sitting in Bobbie’s backyard under a huge umbrella that kept the mid-day sun off them.
“Well, you did awesome.”
“Bobbie? Where are you?”
Bobbie’s eyes opened wide before she jumped to her feet and disappeared into the house. Tarin looked at Kim, Bobbie’s teenage daughter.
She shrugged but made no move to follow. “Grandma.”
Tarin’s eyes trailed toward the house. She was a little perplexed by both their attitudes. She was tempted to follow Bobbie but she’d never really gotten along with Mrs. Benson; and she didn’t want her to see her in case she was still in contact with her father.
“Tarin, it’s so good to see you.”
“Uh, hi, Mrs. Benson,” she said politely, while cringing inside. Her friend’s mom was dressed in a short, flaming red cocktail dress that seemed more suited to a Friday night outfit for someone half her age, than a midweek morning one. Although, Tarin knew she shouldn’t judge, since that had been most of her clothing when living with Stephen. She’d have to ask Bobbie who the man in her mom’s life was.
“Okay, so what do you have planned for this afternoon?”
“Go to the water park,” Kim said to her mother’s groan.
“I’ll pass. Sitting in the hot sun with noisy kids all around, forget it. I’ll go home and sit by the pool,” Mrs. Benson air-kissed Kim. “Besides, I’m going to test drive a new Mercedes this afternoon.”
“No, you’re not Mom.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m two, Bobbie. I am.”
“You’re not buying it.”
“I never said I was. I’m just taking a convertible for a spin.”
“Do not, Mom.” Bobbie glared at her but she seemed oblivious to it.
She turned to Tarin. “Nice to see you, it’s been so long. I’ll tell your father you’re looking great. And his grandson is adorable.”
Tarin’s eyes widened as her head snapped around to Bobbie, whose horrified look met hers. “I’d rather you didn’t. And I’d rather he didn’t know I was here yet.”
“Oh. Is something wrong?” She waved her heavily ringed fingers in the air.
“It’s okay. I’ll talk to her. She only talks to your dad when she wants—” Bobbie’s eyes widened. Looking like a street urchin in her sweats, she grabbed her slender, glammed-up mom and directed her firmly off to the side of the patio. The two had their heads together and it was obvious the words were rather heated. Bobbie’s face was puffed up and red as if ready to explode, but it was the surreptitious glances her way that concerned her. She focused on Chance, not wishing to reveal that she could see the anger and could hear some of their words.
Kim started stacking the dishes. Tarin jumped to her feet to help, thankful for something to do. “I’ll do that. You keep an eye on Chance.” The huge smile that was bestowed on her son was thanks enough.
“Is everything okay, there?” Tarin nodded in the direction of Bobbie and her mom as she stacked dishes.
“Mom and Grandma? Oh yeah. They fight a lot but it’s usually because Grandma wants to buy something she can’t afford. My guess is she’ll be driving that car by the end of the week.”
“Oh and how will she do that?”
“Mom says that’s why she has a string of men and there’s always at least one with a guilt-ridden conscience.”
Surprised, Tarin looked at Kim.
She laughed. “Mom’s nicer definition of the guys in Grandma’s life. The other is—”
“That’s okay, Kim, I don’t need to know about your grandmother’s boyfriends. I’m sorry that’s caused some problem between the two. I guess that’s why your mom doesn’t date much?”
“Probably. Mom gets so mad at Grandma, and the way she dates the young and the old. It’s kind of funny but she sure does get some nice things. I wonder if she’ll let me drive her Mercedes?”
Tarin carried the dishes into the house, Kim and Chance followed her. “You know you don’t need a guy to buy that for you, right? If you get the right education and a good job or start your own business, you could buy it yourself one day.”
“You sound like Mom. She’s always telling me, don’t turn out like Grandma—work hard, save your money.”
The sliding of the patio door alerted her to Bobbie’s return. She quickly finished cleaning up their meal.
“Okay, I guess we’re ready. Do you have a bathing suit and trunks for Chance?” Bobbie said as she approached them, her face red and her eyes still snapping with anger, although she modulated her voice to a gentler, softer tone.
“I have some shorts I can wear and he has some he can put on. We’ll play in the kiddies’ pool. So no worries.” Tarin smiled. She wanted to hug her friend but there was something in Bobbie’s expression that kept her at arm’s length.
“Do you mind if we stop at the cemetery on the way, to leave some flowers on my grandmother’s grave and my sister, Tammy’s? I’ve been meaning to take Kim but one thing or another has gotten in the way.” Bobbie pulled Tarin aside. “I’m really sorry about Mom. She almost never comes over. Well, unless she wants money. I’m—”
“It’s okay. Forget it. One of these days, I’m going to have to deal with Dad. And yes, let’s visit your grandmother and your sister’s gravesites.”
Thirty minutes later, they were walking through Mount Pleasant Cemetery, one of the oldest ones in the Toronto area. Tarin read the names on the tombstones as they passed by. Bobbie laid a beautiful bouquet of roses on her grandmother’s grave. As she watched, it dawned on her that she had no idea where her mother was buried. She had to have a tombstone somewhere, didn’t she?
She got a chill up her back and an eerie feeling they were being watched. Her head snapped around as she scanned the graveyard. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. It was a gorgeous sunny day. There were a few other people paying respects but none were looking her way or seemed the least bit interested in her. She watched for a moment before she put it off to cemetery nerves. Chance picked up a three-leaf clover, thrusting it at her. She allowed herself to get down to his level and help him explore. She couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling she had, though she finally attributed it to all she’d been through the last few days and the fear that Stephen or her father would find her. She wasn’t sure which bothered her more. Being only an hour away from her dad was a bit unsettling. For some reason, she felt as though he knew where she was.
Later that day after they’d arrived home, she put an exhausted and freshly bathed boy to bed. He’d had so much fun splashing and giggling and running; all things he wasn’t accustomed to. Gently kissing her son, she tiptoed from the room, feeling tired but overjoyed at seeing him so happy. He seemed like any normal boy who hadn’t been through a lot of ups and downs in his young life.
She needed to do some research. Wondering if she should use her laptop, she decided she couldn’t take the chance. She wouldn’t put it past Stephen to have installed a tracking device on it and since she was still a bit unsettled from the cemetery, she decided not to push her luck. He didn’t know about Bobbie and he wouldn’t know she was looking for someone who’d been dead for twenty-nine years, so she asked Bobbie if she could use her laptop.
Never having looked for someone’s gravesite before, she had no clue where to start. Two hours later, she had learned a lot about cemeteries and interment but still had no idea how to find her mom. Tarin really wanted to go onto her own website but didn’t want to open that door. She didn’t want others she hadn’t invited to know about it. Bobbie was probably as good or better on a computer than she was, and although she loved having her friend back, something was stopping Tarin from sharing too much.
She started to type in her mom’s name, only to realize she wasn’t sure what it was. Tara Louise is what came to mind but when she googled that name, along with Madsen, her dad’s last name, nothing showed up. In fact, she couldn’t find anyone with the name Tara Louise that had lived in Ontario. Frustrated, she slapped the kitchen table she was using as her desk.
“You could ask your dad, you know?”
She slapped her hand to her chest. “Jesus, Bobbie. You scared the heck out of me.”
“Cool. But so you know, if you really want to vent, then slam your fist onto the surface.” She did just that. “Okay, your turn.”
Tarin laughed a little uncomfortably. “Really. I’m fine.”
“Come on. You are so repressed, girl. You need to let go of some of that anger.”
“I’m not mad.”
Bobbie looked at her with that raised eyebrow.
Tarin tapped her fist onto the table.
Bobbie burst out laughing. “Well, it wasn’t much but I’ll take it.”
She smiled, feeling better. “I should have been able to find something about my mom, right?”
“You’d think. But you could save yourself a lot of time by asking your father.”
“I know. Just not yet. I don’t understand; shouldn’t my mom’s name, Tara Louise, show up somewhere?”
“Where’s your birth certificate? It’ll have her information and maybe help with tracking her down.”
“I don’t have it.”
“Hey, no problem, you can apply for a new one.”
“Right.” She didn’t bother to tell her that her father had it. He’d always had it. In fact, she’d never seen it. When she’d applied for her driver’s license, he’d sent one of his flunkies with her to ‘protect’ her and to hand over her birth certificate for the licensing office to get the information they needed. They’d handed it back and he’d taken it. Then when she’d gone for her passport, her dad had obtained all the paperwork for her to fill out and then had sent another flunky with her to apply. He always claimed he did it so she didn’t have to worry about the small stuff. She could focus on her job and he’d keep track of everything else. It hadn’t been such a big deal then, but now she was seeing how big of a deal it really was.
What had he really been trying to hide?
She decided to check out how to apply for a new birth certificate.
It seemed easy enough, if she had all the information. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t shake the question—was her mother dead? Or alive?