I want to meet you.
The message sent her heart racing. This was it, she knew it. With shaking fingers, Tarin replied. The woman hadn't said where she lived but that she could meet in or around the Toronto area, no problem. Evenings or weekends were fine.
Excited, Tarin had to correct her typing mistakes eight times before she was able to form a coherent sentence. Not sure where the woman had to travel from, she considered possibilities. Toronto wasn’t really a city one wanted to travel around in, because it took a lot of time—especially downtown. She kept picking and rejecting places—Tim Hortons, which were all over the city but they were always so busy... and noisy. She wanted something public yet private. Opening a browser, she scrolled through various places to meet. Parks brought up some interesting places. She read through several when she came upon Bronte Creek Provincial Park. It was outside Toronto, was public but would give them a quiet space if they needed it. She typed directions from the outskirts of Toronto heading southwest and set it for 10:00 Saturday morning. The traffic shouldn’t be crazy at that time. The only problem was it was still a few days away, and she didn’t know if she could wait that long. Before she could change her mind, she sent her reply.
A rush of tiny waves of anticipation mixed with a niggling stab of fear coursed through her. She didn’t know if she’d done the smartest thing in her life or the stupidest but she couldn’t stop the voice that kept saying, ‘you did it, now you’ll get answers’. The thought of finally knowing what had happened to her three years ago was almost overwhelming. After she’d initially figured out some of what had happened, she’d been so frightened that she’d wanted to distance herself from it. Then things had snowballed on her. Finding out she was pregnant and alone, then having Stephen propose and then marrying him, only to have him change overnight... it had all been too much but now she needed to know. She needed to find out who the sick bastard was that had locked her up for a week. Who had drugged her? Who had taken away her memory and left her with only fleeting glances into what might have happened? And that’s what scared her the most—what might have happened? What really had happened? She only knew a very small part of the whole situation—the outcome. But who else knew?
The USB that she still had hidden away came to mind. She so badly wanted to see what she’d downloaded from the winery and at the same time, she was having a hard time making herself snoop into someone else’s business. It felt so slimy and wrong. If she could, she really wanted to try to figure things out without having to use information illegally acquired. There may be absolutely nothing of value and then how crappy was she going to feel for stealing it? She was so morally torn between the urgent need to check it out and her conscience telling her not to touch it.
Overcome with emotion, she sank into her chair as the reality of her actions hit her. On Saturday she was going to meet someone who may have gone through the same thing she had. Could that really be possible? Was there some sicko out there targeting women this way?
Suddenly she sat upright and reached for her cell phone. She quickly pulled up her calendar and then groaned as she realized she was already booked. She’d made a play date with Chance to take him to the Toronto Zoo. He loved animals and she thought it would be a great way to make up for being absent so much. Thankfully he was adjusting to Bobbie and Kim as babysitters. He no longer cried or held onto her with a stranglehold when she left in the morning. That alone instantly brought tears to her eyes. Things were changing. He was already becoming independent of her. And she was becoming more independent of him. The flood of emotion that hit her was like a dam about to burst. Pressing her hands in a steeple over her nose, she took some long, slow breaths, willing away the feeling of despair.
After a few moments, she was able to think about it rationally. She could change her time with Chance to Sunday. The accompanying guilt almost had her throwing up. He wouldn’t really know the difference but she sure would.
Sighing, she clicked on the email to send a new one and adjust the meeting time and day only to discover when she looked at her calendar that Sunday was booked as well. They were having brunch at Bobbie’s and then going to the lake. That meant she’d have to wait another whole week to meet this woman. An instant sense of dread bordering on panic at the thought of putting it off let her know there was no way she could do that. She’d have to come up with an alternative plan.
“Good morning. You’re in early.”
She’d barely had time to close out her emails and open the company information at the sound of the key in the lock. She hadn’t had time to get through many of the other messages she’d wanted to.
“Morning, Graham. I hope it’s still okay that I deal with a few personal emails on this computer?”
“Yes. We talked about it and I’m okay with it. What I’m not okay with, however, is you think you have to come in before 6:30 to do it. You can do it on your break that you never take, or the lunch that you work through.”
She was tempted to press her hands to her heated cheeks but she refrained. “I don’t see you taking breaks, either.”
“I’m the boss. It comes with the territory.”
“All right. Thanks.”
He headed to his office.
“Uh, Graham?”
“Hmm, yes?” He glanced over his shoulder.
“Is there anything new on those emails I followed up on?” Things seemed to have shifted between them since she’d shown him what she’d discovered.
“Well, so far I think you’ve discovered almost four hundred fake companies and requests. About one hundred and fifty that are maybes, which I think we’ll ignore—they’re taking too much time. And then there are twenty-five legit and thirty questionable ones. I’ll get you to do some more digging, on the questionable group. I don’t know how we’re going to take on much more work but we’ll see what we can do. Sorry if I haven’t said anything but that’s damn good. You’ve saved me countless hours.”
“Even though you’ve gone through everything I’ve done with the utmost care to make sure I haven’t been messing with you or making mistakes?”
His eyes widened but she was sure not as wide as hers. There was a stunned silence.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry. I had no right to say that. I don’t know why I did. Really, just ignore it. It’s—”
“A fact.” Graham started laughing. “So you know, I quit doing that a while ago.”
“A day ago.” Tarin slapped her hand over her mouth.
“No, a little longer than that. I might be a bit narcissistic but I’m not quite that bad,” he said in his best western drawl.
It reminded her of the John Wayne movies she used to sneak out of bed and sit on the stairs to watch. Her dad had loved those old shows. For her it had been a way to feel she was doing something with him, although he’d never known she’d been there.
She wasn’t quite sure how to react to Graham, since their relationship had begun as anything but friendly. She couldn’t help but smile though as he took a few steps in a comically awkward gunslinger’s swagger. Her eyes automatically gravitated toward his. The green of his eyes was as intense and arresting.
“Hey, you guys look as though you’re having too much fun.”
Tarin tore her eyes away from Graham’s. Sure they would show too much, she concentrated on her monitor.
“Morning, Guy. Bailey.” She started opening emails, clicking on websites. She glanced up briefly to smile at them as they passed through to the inner office. Once the door was closed she wilted, laying her forehead on the edge of her desk.
She felt like a teenager who’d been caught mooning over the cute boy down the street. She hadn’t been exactly, but she was so touched by his praise and his taking responsibility for his over-the-top actions. In the past, she would have been made to feel at fault.
Rather than go down that dark hallway of her past, she allowed herself to bask in the warmth of finally being appreciated for something she’d done. She worked steadily throughout the day, able to get a lot of work done. Before she left for the day, she quickly checked her emails to see if the woman had responded, anxious to see whether she had agreed to the time and date. She was finally going to talk to someone who might have gone through the same experience. The odds of it being the same man—she chose not to go there. It was having someone who totally understood what she was feeling coupled with the off chance their situations were the same. Her knees were shaking so strongly they almost knocked together.
I can’t meet. Not this Saturday. I’ll get back to you.
Tarin slumped in her chair, feeling as if all the wind had been taken out of her sails as she read the woman’s reply. Damn.
Sending a quick reply, she got out of there. About to call Bobbie, a text from Stephen came in.
‘Thanks for leaving my car at the airport. Real nice of you. You’re lucky it hasn’t been harmed. Good riddance. Not impressed. I can’t believe you’re standing me up. I had to find a replacement date. Wasn’t be easy to explain...’