It was two in the morning at Mango and Derek was drinking vodka on ice. It tasted like cold medicine, but it had almost no calories and he needed to get drunk. A gang of girls walked past in tiny, shiny dresses. They glanced over, giving looks he’d seen a hundred times. He was free to invite them over, buy them drinks, ask them to his place.
He stayed where he was. It had been six weeks since he’d slept with Mara and his hunger for her was like nothing he’d felt before. Even if he gave in, no one else would do. He’d get as much satisfaction from fucking someone in this club as he would with his own hand.
A shout made him turn his head. Willow was sandwiched between two older blondes, kissing one while the other slid a hand down the front of his jeans. Logan Cloak and Brady Shore were watching, hollering encouragement.
Derek rubbed his eyes. “Jesus.”
Willow was on a mission—the Bachelor in Paradise chick was gone for reasons he couldn’t explain, and Derek didn’t want to hear—but having a threesome in public was a bit much. But that was Willow. He was on the tail end of his career, and he could still stay up all night and get to training early. It wasn’t a skill anyone on the coaching team admired, but Derek respected it. He was twenty-eight and he didn’t know if he had another year at the bars in him. It had been the same thing every weekend since he was eighteen and the hangovers were infinitely worse.
So, leave.
He stayed where he was.
When Mara had called, he’d thought they were on their way, but apparently not. And if everything was ruined between them, he knew he should accept the offer from The Rattlers. Take the money and get a fresh start in WA. Howard was frothing at the mouth at him for ‘stalling’ the deal. Signing on would mean one less problem to deal with.
His phone buzzed. A text from an unknown number.
Hey, mate, it’s Troy Baker. Hannah said you were looking for some info on Mara. I just got off night shift if you’re around. If not, call me after four tomorrow.
Derek’s hand tightened on his phone. He’d forgotten about Baker. He didn’t want to speak to the cunt, but then again, why not? Telling him he was a girlfriend-fucking snake in the grass might improve his mood. He stood, heading for the exit.
“Where you headed?” Brady called over the music. “Come dance.”
“Nah, having a piss.”
He left the building and strode into the alleyway behind. A few people stood smoking, none of them paying him any attention. He leaned against the wall and called Baker’s number.
“Hey, brother, how are you?”
Derek felt a swift rush of dislike. He’d forgotten how much he hated Baker, even before he started shawshanking Mara. He was obnoxious, without the sweetness of someone like Willow. He was a pretty boy without being funny about it, like Byron. He was a show-off on the field. Always ready to fuck you over if he thought there was some glory in it for him.
“Hi, Baker,” he said, trying not to sound like he wanted to kill him. “How you going?”
“Not bad, mate. I’m a cop actually, hence the late night. Pretty weird, hey?”
Derek wasn’t surprised at all. There had to be cops that weren’t snitches, hypocrites, and shit-cunts, but he didn’t know any. “Congrats.”
“Yeah, thanks. Congrats on all your wins and all that.” Baker’s voice was echo-y and Derek was sure he was sitting in his car. “Yeah. Cheers. So, Hannah said you had news about Mara?”
Baker paused with what Derek thought was unnecessary melodrama. “Ah yeah. Mara. So, you, ah, know we got together, do you? After you left?”
He said it with a smile in his voice, like a kid ‘fessing up to stealing the last biscuit. Derek let the words wash through and out of him. Men had been saying stupid shit to him his whole life. He’d never given them the satisfaction of knowing they’d pissed him off. He wasn’t going to start with Baker. “Yeah, I know you guys went out.”
Baker laughed. “That’s good, mate. I was worried I’d have to be the one to break the news.”
Derek spotted a tattooed guy with a beard punching a dart. He looked like a roadie for Metallica. If he was going to get recognised by anyone, experience told him it would be that guy.
“Hang on a sec, Baker.”
He ignored Baker’s protests and headed for the bearded guy. “Hey, man. Sorry to scab, but can I grab a smoke?”
The roadie beamed at him. “Derek Hardiman?”
“That’s me.”
“Take whatever you want, mate. What’s mine is yours.”
Grinning, Derek accepted two cigarettes and the lighter. He lit up, took a deep drag, and raised his phone to his ear. “You there?”
“Yeah, mate.” Baker sounded chippy as fuck. “Out at a bar or something, are you?”
“I am.”
“Nice for some. There’s not much open around here this time of night.”
He said it like Derek hadn’t grown up in Albury. Hadn’t been kicked out of the same pubs as Baker at midnight, back when he’d had Mara on his arm.
Dog. Girlfriend fucker.
“So, what happened with Mara?” he asked.
He couldn’t bring himself to say, ‘you and Mara.’ As far as he was concerned, there was no ‘you and Mara.’ Only ‘Mara’ and ‘some showboating cunt who should have stayed the fuck away from Mara.’
Baker took another self-satisfied pause. “We didn’t hang out for ages after you left. I think you’d been gone a year before things got serious.”
Derek sucked in smoke, feeling the crinkly burn in his lungs. He could do this as long as he didn’t think about Mara’s face. Her body. Her voice. “Right.”
“Yeah, I was pretty worried you’d come back to town and kick the shit out of me.”
Didn’t stop you though, did it, fuckface?
Derek tried to collect his thoughts. “Hannah said Mara might have left town because her grandma died?”
“Nah, Mara didn’t leave until February. After Valentine’s Day.”
“How do you know?”
“Because we went out for Valentine’s Day.”
Derek tried desperately not to imagine what that had involved. “Right.”
Troy tapped something, probably his dashboard. “Why’re you asking about Mara? Hannah wouldn’t say.”
“I need some old footy videos and stuff off her.”
“So why do you need to know why she left Albury? She’s not in town.”
Derek remembered Troy was a cop. He needed to slow down, think of a better answer. His first cigarette was almost down to the filter. He raised the second and lit it off the end. “I know she’s not back, I’m trying to figure out why she left. If she told anyone where she was going?”
“She didn’t tell me anything.”
Baker said it reluctantly. Unwilling to admit Mara had ditched him, Derek thought. And that gave him the strength to ask the next question. “Did she seem upset? Angry?”
“Nah, mate. Everything was great.”
Except her grandma just died, you dickhead.
“She hadn’t talked about going away?”
“Nope. If you want my pet theory, she came into some money.”
Derek paused, exhaling smoke. “What makes you say that?”
“Simon Bramnick’s sister saw her at Strandbags the week she left, buying a suitcase. One of those expensive hard-shell ones.”
“So? She was working, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah, but she didn’t have much. She owed some money on her car, and she was having a hard time paying rent without her grandma’s pension.”
So, everything wasn’t great before she left. God, Baker was a tit. He thought of Mara sitting alone at her grandmother’s house, eating noodles and trying to make ends meet. His insides twisted.
“Hello?”
Derek drew on the cigarette so hard, it stung. “Yeah, I’m here. Buying a bag doesn’t prove Mara came into money.”
“She also went to the auto-mechanics and paid George in cash. Gave him an extra hundred for letting her owe him.”
“Okay.” Derek’s brain whirred. “Life insurance payout from her grandma?”
“I thought that, but she had a fuckload of medical bills. The grandma, I mean. Mara used the insurance money for that, and I don’t think there was enough. That’s why her car had gone to shit.”
So why didn’t you help her out? Why’d you let her owe George, you ball sack?
Baker let out a long sigh. “Honestly, mate, that’s all I know. I told Hannah I didn’t have any big revelations for ya. One day she was here, the next she was gone. Evaporated. She never even quit her job or broke her lease.”
“Seriously?” Inconveniencing people had never been Mara’s style.
“Yup. No one’s moved into her old place though. It’s still rotting away up there.”
Derek pictured the Temple house. Once upon a time, he’d been happier there than anywhere else.
“Pretty shit,” Baker said mildly. “I was shook up about her leaving for ages. I didn’t know if someone had gotten to her, or if she was hurt or whatever.”
For the first time, Derek felt a stab of pity for Baker. Cunt or not, he might be the only person on earth who had an inkling of how he felt. “Well, thanks for chatting with me.”
“No worries.” Baker gave a short laugh. “Funny, isn’t it? How the two of us went after the same girl?”
Derek’s empathy evaporated. “I’ll let you go, mate.”
“I mean, I wasn’t much on the field, but I did get Mara first. That’s gotta be worth at least one Norm Smith medal, doesn’t it?”
He gripped his phone like it was Baker’s neck. “The fuck did you just say?”
“Nothing, mate. I just know the two of you never did the deed. That must be disappointing, looking back. Seeing as I did.”
Derek couldn’t talk. He was so angry, so fucking furious, he’d frozen to the spot.
“Yeah, she was good in bed, Mara. Nervous, but she took to it pretty quick. I suppose I’ve got you to thank for—”
“Shut your fucking mouth.”
Baker cackled. “Still sensitive, aren’t you?”
Derek pressed his phone to his mouth. “You listen to me, Baker. Shut the fuck up or I’ll come home and tear you apart. I don’t give a shit what you do for a living.”
Baker laughed even louder. “You better watch that temper. It’ll get you in trouble on the field one of these days.”
“At least I’ve got a field to get in trouble on. You couldn’t kick a tire down a hill.”
“Yeah, but I broke in your girlfriend.”
The line disconnected.
“MOTHERFUCKER!”
“You right, mate?” It was the roadie.
“I’m fine.” Derek looked away, breathing hard. His borrowed cigarette stung the skin between his fingers. He let it burn as his anger codified. Mara had slept with Baker. He’d been her first. She’d waited a year, sent him a nude without a caption, and then she’d gone and fucked Baker. Her teenage face swam before him, wide-eyed with elf ears and short black hair. They’d waited for ages for her to be ready and she’d lost her virginity to Baker.
Then somehow, he was back in the club drinking a double vodka. He finished it in seconds, and seeing as he was at the bar, he ordered another. Mara fucked Baker. She’d cheated on him. They hadn’t broken up. That made it cheating.
And what was it you were doing?
“Fuck off,” he muttered to himself. “Just fuck off.”
“Hiiii.” A girl in a red dress smiled up at him.
“Hi.” Derek accepted his second vodka and drank deeply. If he was shitfaced, he couldn’t drive back to Albury and beat the fuck out of Baker.
The girl touched his arm. “Do you want to go outside for a smoke?”
Derek shook his head.
“Do you want to come back to mine?”
He stared at his suitor. Pretty ballsy to just come out and say it. He looked her up and down, rage burning in his gut. He could. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Then nausea rose. He shook his head. “I can’t. Not right now.”
“That’s okay,” the girl said in a soothing voice. “Why don’t we hang out for a bit?”
Derek laughed. He sounded insane even to his own ears, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he was in a teen drama, playing the drunk girl who got preyed on.
Something brushed his other arm. He turned and saw Kasun Pershad blinking at him. “Hey, Derek.”
Derek frowned. “What? What’s going on?”
The girl rubbed his other arm, trying to get his attention. “Want to find a booth?”
Kasun bent around him to look at her. “Derek’s seeing someone.”
Shame hit him like a bucket of water. Of course. All the boys thought he had a secret girlfriend.
The chick in red’s hand tightened around him. “I don’t care.”
“I think Derek cares. Maybe you should head back to your friends?”
The girl looked up at him and Derek nodded. “Have a good night.”
She rolled her eyes and walked away. He watched her go, his insides churning.
“So,” Kasun said. “Having fun?”
“No.”
“Yeah, you can’t half tell.” Kasun waved a hand in front of his face. “You’ve been smoking. Better hope no one took pictures.”
Derek groaned. He was right. The coach had gone off two years ago when photos of him smoking showed up on News.com. “Did you come over here to mother me?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t need mothering.”
“You definitely do. What’s going on?”
Derek glanced across at his teammate. Kasun was the AFL’s first Sri Lankan player. Tall and unshakable, smiling whenever he didn’t have a football in his hand. If he had to tell someone that wasn’t Byron about this bullshit, he was a pretty good choice. “The girl I’m seeing is someone I went out with at school.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. She’s been ignoring me for weeks because she’s pissed about the way things ended back then.”
“How’d they end?”
“I came to Melbourne for footy and she fucked some idiot we went to school with.”
“While you were together?”
“No, we weren’t… But she shouldn’t have done that.”
“Were you fucking other people?”
Derek downed the last of his vodka.
Kasun laughed. “So, what’s the real issue here? She won’t forgive you?”
“Yeah. I told her I was sorry for leaving. I told her I should have done better but she’s still pissed.”
Kasun grinned. “The old, ‘I tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas’, huh?”
“That’s not what happened!”
Kasun’s forehead creased. “Come on, man. Telling a girl you’re sorry doesn’t mean shit.”
“What? Yes, it does!”
“It’s just words. You want her back so bad, how have you shown her you’re sorry and it’s gonna be different?”
Derek paused. He’d bought Mara champagne. He’d… stalked her at work. He racked his brain but nothing else appeared. “I dunno.”
“Well, that’s a bad sign. You can’t just expect people to forgive you just because that’s what you want.”
“Fuck…”
How could he have had Mara back in his life for weeks and not tried to show her he was sorry and things were different? He exhaled, feeling better. “You might be a genius,” he told Kasun.
The big man gave him a thumbs up. “Just a divorced dad with too much time on his hands.”
A flash of red hair caught Derek’s eye. Willow and his two blondes were dancing in a slow, awkward circle. “Fuck me, does Willow ever stop?”
Kasun laughed. “Willow doesn’t want to stop.”
Derek pulled out his phone. It was almost three in the morning. “I think I should get out of here.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
At that moment, Willow caught his eye. He beckoned them over. “Derek! Kasun! Come meet Chloe and Bec.”
Derek shook his head.
“Kasun! Come over here,” Willow bellowed. “Come meet Chloe and Bec!”
Kasun assessed the two blondes. “What do you think?”
He tucked his phone back into his pocket. “I think you’re gonna end up in a foursome.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead. It’s the more the merrier with Willow.”
Derek left, still laughing at the look on Kasun’s face. He rolled down the window in the Uber, sticking his drunk head into the night like a dog. Kasun was right. He needed to do more. Show Mara that he understood what went wrong. That he was worth taking another chance on. As cold air rushed over his face, it came to him. The perfect idea. He just needed a pen and paper.