Okay, remember what I wrote yesterday about punching myself in the face? I didn’t mean it. Because when I got into the kitchen this morning Mum and Dad still remembered what had happened at school last week. To be honest, that was better than it could have been. At least I wasn’t in any more trouble. I could have come downstairs to find out I was being blamed for something else entirely. That has happened before. Sometimes I think I cause trouble in my sleep.

Anyway, for whatever reason, the diary hadn’t worked. I’m stupider than a fish on roller-skates for thinking that it would.

Maybe it was more complicated than I’d thought. Magic probably is. But it wasn’t all bad news. Mum has freed my bike from the shed and to say I am excited is an understatement.

It was just in the nick of time too, because I remembered JOSH and I were supposed to be practising our big stunt in the playground after school. Hopefully some of my fincredibleness will rub off on him.

As Mum was handing my bike over she arched an eyebrow and said that this didn’t mean everything was forgotten, but if I kept behaving like I had this weekend then I might get to go to the concert on Saturday.

alt X-WING is back on and Mum and Dad have definitely got tickets. I was so pleased I could have kissed them both. I could have, but I didn’t.

That had put me in such a good mood that I even took an interest in the ‘Kids Say the Sweetest Things’ cartoon that Dad was reading. There was a picture of a reeeeeally long sausage dog walking down the street and that snot-nosed kid was back. This time he was pointing at the dog and saying, ‘Wowzer, Daddy! That dog must have eaten a lot of sausages to look like that!’

I even pretended to find it funny and laughed out loud. Maybe I overdid it a bit. Dad looked at me like I’d gone mad and said, ‘It’s not that funny!’

OH, COME ON! I know it’s not that funny. It’s never that funny. I’ve been trying to tell both my parents that for the past five years but that hasn’t stopped them laughing like hyenas every morning, has it? What do you have to do to please these people? I just don’t get grown-ups.

The X-WING advert was still there, only it was now covered with a huge SOLD OUT banner.

Luckily Mum and Dad have already got tickets so as long as I don’t do anything stupid I’ll be there!

At school, after I’d chained up my bike in the bike sheds, I went into class and checked with JOSH that we were still on for stunt practice later. He gave me a double thumbs-up and pointed to the guitar case propped up against the chair. Then he said that over the weekend his mum had had a great idea – his sister, MEGAN, plays the tuba and he thought it would be great if she could be involved in the talent-show stunt-jumping too.

I COULDN’T BELIEVE MY EARS. There is nothing stuntboy OR rock star about a tuba-trumping girl. Seriously, no matter how well you play the tuba it sounds like you’re doing a fart. Sometimes JOSH gets it sooo wrong! No, scratch that. JOSH ALWAYS gets it sooo wrong. He’s just lucky I’m always here to help him out.

I told him there was no way MEGAN and her tuba were being in my talent show-act. He muttered that it wasn’t MY talent-show act, it was OUR talent-show act. That may be true, but it was my idea. I made him promise to tell MEGAN she wasn’t needed and then the bell rang for lessons.

I could definitely do with a better best mate.

Apart from that, school was fine. It seemed like all the apologies I’d made last week had paid off. In class, Mrs Johnson gave me the old ‘new week, new start’ speech that she usually reserves for BRAD RADLEY, and I promised to work hard and not get into trouble. She nodded and said, ‘We’ll hear no more about it,’ which we all know is teacher-speak for ‘Cross me again and I’ll drag this up to haunt you in an instant!’ As I was taking my seat she said,

The whole class started to laugh and I was so embarrassed that my face went redder than a baboon’s bum.

After school JOSH met me by the bike rack to practise our stunt. MEGAN turned up too. Because JOSH is technically my assistant I made him drag a couple of bricks and some planks of wood out into the middle of the playground so I could get my jumping right.

I had a go at persuading JOSH’s sister to lie down so I could jump over her, but she refused. When I told her she couldn’t play her farty tuba, she just sat next to her massive tuba case and sulked. JOSH unpacked his guitar and slung it over his shoulder. I was psyching myself up when JOSH started to tune the thing. I gave him a look and he stopped. This stunt needed total concentration. I was just starting my run up when JOSH began playing his guitar. It sounded like someone strangling an octopus. I did my best to block it out, but then JOSH started doing all of these weird rock-star poses, jumping in the air, falling to his knees, something he called ‘the windmill’ …

I was so distracted that I missed the jump entirely and crashed into a tree. JOSH asked if that was supposed to happen. NO, IT WAS NOT! He was supposed to be my backing guitarist. Backing guitarists did not do ‘the windmill’. Backing guitarists stood in one place and let the star of the show get on with it.

We were just about to have another go when JOSH asked about the talent-show prize and who was going to keep it. It turns out that he’s broken his phone and would quite like a new one. I told him that as I was doing the dangerous bit of the stunt I should keep it. He could have the trophy. JOSH wasn’t happy. He thought that his part was quite dangerous too – apparently I’d nearly run him over. I tried to explain that I wouldn’t have nearly run him over if he’d stayed in one place like a normal person, but he wasn’t listening. He thought we should split the prize. HOW DO YOU SPLIT A PHONE?

JOSH can be so stupid sometimes. I told him that we’d think of something (which he doesn’t seem to know is Fin-speak for ‘I’ll keep it!’) and had another go at the jump.

I was about to ride over the planks when this massive

came out of nowhere. I was so startled I crashed into the tree again. As I was picking myself up I saw JOSH’s sister laughing at me. She was holding her tuba. It turns out MEGAN is just as annoying as JOSH. I called our practice to a halt and headed home.

JOSH was lucky I was even letting him be in my talent-show act and now he wants to keep the prize too! I was the one risking life and limb! I should have told JOSH that I didn’t want him in my act, and have been done with it. I should have told him that he’s nothing but the guitar-playing assistant. ANYBODY could do that job, and if he thinks he’s going to get his fingers on that phone then he’s got another think coming! JOSH needs to pay more attention and do things my way. I’m the star here!

Let’s hope I can knock him into shape tomorrow, before I knock myself into another tree.