THANK YOU, DIARY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! The perfect day has started perfectly. I’ve woken up to find a phone on my pillow. This can only mean one of three things.

alt MY EAR HAS TURNED INTO A MOBILE PHONE SHOP OVERNIGHT

alt THE TOOTH FAIRY HAS GOT EVEN MORE GENEROUS

alt THE DIARY HAS WORKED AND I WON THE SCHOOL TALENT SHOW!

I’ve taken the phone out of the packaging and plugged it in. I want it to be fully charged for the X-WING concert tonight. Now, for breakfast …

So, when I got downstairs this morning Mum had put the talent-show trophy on the breakfast table. I’d forgotten there even was a trophy. But there it was, and I must have won it because my name was on the bottom.

After breakfast I spent all morning typing numbers into my new phone and by eleven o’clock my thumbs hurt and I’d gone a bit cross-eyed. But it didn’t matter because my contacts list was bulging and FIN SPENCER was finally connected to the twenty-first century.

To celebrate, I headed down to the shop for a can of lemonade. As I was going in I bumped into JOSH coming out. He was very angry. He said I must have somehow found out about his idea for the talent show and copied it. Which I sort of did, I suppose. This diary had fixed it that yesterday we BOTH sang a song about school. But because I went on first, and everyone knew JOSH was a late entry, they all thought it was JOSH who had copied my idea rather than the other way round. JOSH reckoned I’d made him look stupid. I told him that he didn’t need my help to do that.

JOSH said he was never going to speak to me again, which was ironic considering I finally had a phone he could call me on! But I couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty.

The afternoon felt like it went on forever. Normally I’d play alt with JOSH on my Xbox but we all knew that wasn’t going to happen. I decided to play with my little sister instead, but she just didn’t get it.

After two hours of beating ELLIE again and again I gave up. I suppose I should have taught her how to play the game first, but where would be the fun in that?

Finally, it was time to get ready to go to the concert. I got out my favourite X-WING T-shirt and the sunnies I saved for special occasions. I looked at myself in the mirror but the glasses were too dark to see properly and I ended up falling into the wardrobe. Never mind – nothing was going to spoil this evening. I popped my new phone into my pocket and headed downstairs.

In the car Mum and Dad were really excited and so was ELLIE. Which was weird. I never knew she was a big X-WING fan. Maybe there was hope for her after all.

Dad turned on the radio and popped in the alt CD ‘to get us in the mood’. I laughed – good one, Dad! He could be quite funny sometimes. I even found myself singing along when alt came on. I’d been brainwashed! As we got close to the stadium the butterflies were back in my tummy.

But when we actually got to the stadium a strange thing happened – we drove right past it. Maybe Dad knew a good place to park. Dads are like that – they drive past a hundred perfect parking spaces just to park in one that, for some reason, they like best. Who knows what’s going on in their heads?

Dad finally decided to park the car at the venue where alt was playing. I was confused. Was he trying to be funny again? Because if he was it was NOT WORKING! But when he turned off the engine and Mum got out of the car I realised nobody was joking about anything. We were at the alt venue because we were going to see alt …

Dad was surprised that I was cross. SO, SO CROSS.

I shouted. Mum was confused. Why did I point at the advert in the paper if I didn’t want to come?

I told her I was pointing at the other advert, OF COURSE. The cool advert. The X-WING advert!

Now it was Dad’s turn to be confused. If I didn’t like alt then how come I knew all the words to alt? I explained that it was all ELLIE’s fault and then Mum told me off for picking on her! The only person smiling was ELLIE. She got exactly what she wanted and she doesn’t even have a magic diary.

I wasn’t allowed to stay in the car on my own so I joined my parents and two thousand screaming six-year-old girls at the show.

The next hour and a half was the longest hour and a half of my life. It would have been bad enough watching a alt concert anyway, but knowing you’re missing an X-WING gig at the same time made it doubly bad. We heard all his greatest hits:

And then finally it was time for alt, which I was kind of relieved about. It meant the concert must be nearly over. The only good thing about all of this – and believe me, it was a tiny thing – was that none of my friends would be seen dead in a place like this. So no one need ever know I was there. No one.

Just before alt started alt came to the front of the stage and the crowd fell silent. It was so quiet you could hear a mouse fart.

Someone’s mobile phone went off. I started to laugh. What a loser! Then I realised it was MY MOBILE PHONE. I felt as if two thousand pairs of eyes were turning to glare at me as I fumbled in my pocket.

ELLIE was looking at me as if I’d just killed alt live on stage, which, believe me, was something I considered doing halfway through ‘Chihuahua Hoo-Ha!’

I hadn’t read the manual for the phone – manuals are for losers – so I pushed a button that I thought would make it stop ringing.

It didn’t. In a blind panic, I pressed every button at the same time. Suddenly there was a bright flash and then the phone went quiet. I might have broken it. At that moment I didn’t care.

Charlie played alt twice. I still have NO IDEA what a squishy wishy actually is. But at least the concert was over.

Back at home I came straight up here to my bedroom. This day has been a complete disaster! I thought about changing it all in this diary, somehow making it so that I went to X-WING after all. But what would be the point in that? Whenever I do change anything, I don’t remember the new version anyway, only other people do. No matter what I write, I will never remember being at the X-WING gig. I’m trying to look on the bright side, though. At least I’ve got a phone – but even that hasn’t made me feel totally happy, because I know it’s JOSH’s phone really. And now I’ve got a Charlie Dimples T-shirt. Thanks, Dad. You are sooo funny.