Debbie climbed the steps to the witness box for the second and last time, shortly after 10am.
‘Just get Ben out of there,’ Debbie had requested, when she agreed, through gritted teeth, to do as she was asked. ‘I can bear it, I think, but not for Ben to see it. Not up on that screen on the wall and in everyone’s homes. And not for him to hear me talk about such personal things.’
And Constance had obliged, calling Ben en route to court, insisting that now would be a good time to meet up with her instead. It took a lot of persuasion, but he finally agreed to stay away from court that morning, with Laura following suit, on one condition; he wanted Constance to accompany him on a visit back to Rosie’s house. He was enthused by the idea that they could plan a homecoming, of sorts, for Debbie, after the verdict was delivered. For once, Constance ditched her usual cautious response and went along with his eagerness.
* * *
In court, Judith rose to her feet and forced what she hoped was a reassuring smile at Debbie, conscious that she was alone again, Constance having disappeared off to attend to Ben. She could see Laidlaw out of the corner of her eye, grinning from ear to ear, both hands resting on his lectern, poised to rise for his closing speech. He was Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird, he was Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, he was Matthew McConaughey in A Time To Kill. In contrast, her throat was like sandpaper. She reached cautiously for her glass of water, willing her hands to behave this time, and took a long draught.
‘Your honour, I was planning, as you know, to finish with a short re-examination of my client this morning.’ She took a deep breath. She snatched a glance at the empty bench behind her. She looked out into the public gallery. She stared, for a moment, into the camera and felt surprisingly calm. Then she returned to Debbie.
‘We heard from Inspector Dawson yesterday about Rosie’s diaries. Before this trial, did you know that Rosie made those entries?’
‘Yes…and no,’ Debbie said, her face pinched, her eyes mournful. The three spaces where Ben, Laura and Ellis had been sitting were now filled by unfamiliar bodies and Nicki was also absent. Only Debbie’s mother remained, steadfast.
‘Can you explain what you mean?’ Judith said.
‘I knew she had written something, but I never imagined it was like that.’
‘Did you know it was something negative about you?’
‘Yes.’ Debbie lowered her head.
‘And the entries, you read them out to this court, were they a true account of what happened?’
‘No.’
‘None of them?’
‘None of them.’
‘Why did you allow Rosie to write such terrible things about you, if they were all untrue?’
Debbie kept her eyes fixed on her mother, as she spoke. Mrs Mallard was as still as a statue, but her face was fixed with a soft and welcoming expression.
‘We did a deal,’ Debbie continued.
‘You and Rosie?’
‘Mm.’
‘What did you offer?’
‘That she could do what she needed to get a quick divorce. She sent me the papers to sign. I knew about the diary entries, but I never read what she wrote. I didn’t really care. It did the trick.’
‘Did you have to do anything else?’
‘Yes.’ Debbie blinked twice and her lip trembled. ‘I had to agree to give up the West Ham position and not to coach another premiership side.’
‘The newspapers said you were sacked?’
‘I agreed with George, the owner, that’s what we would say. He was kind and he understood it was easier that way. There was never any fight.’
‘And why did Rosie insist you stopped coaching?’
‘She knew people would find out about me, but she thought if I “disappeared” from public view, it would be easier.’
‘And you were prepared to do all that?’
‘Yes.’
‘Because you loved her?’
‘Yes, and because there was something else I really needed.’
‘What was that?’
‘My gender recognition certificate. I couldn’t get it without Rosie’s agreement.’
‘What?’
Now Debbie had everyone’s attention and she allowed her gaze to expand to take in the public gallery. ‘That’s how it works,’ she explained, ‘until the government changes the rules, and it’s not top of their list at the moment.’
‘You are saying that you allowed your former wife to fabricate these diaries, you gave up a lucrative job you loved, all so that you could receive papers that make you legally a woman?’ Judge Nolan intervened.
‘It was the only way for me. You have to have your spouse’s consent, or you can’t legally change gender. Well, not straightaway. Without consent you have to get a divorce.’
‘But Rosie wanted a divorce, you said?’
‘And I didn’t. But I also didn’t want to be made to wait, like you said, maybe another two years to go through the divorce before I got my certificate. I wasn’t going to do all this and still have everyone telling me that I was still a man. So I agreed to everything she wanted.’
Two reporters raced out of court. A number of others sat on the edges of their seats. Tears began to stream down Mrs Mallard’s face. Judith could quit now, while she was marginally ahead, or she could go for broke. She chewed the edge of her finger and stared at Debbie. Debbie nodded twice to her. There was no going back.
‘Recently, I became aware of a video featuring my client, which was filmed without her knowledge or consent in February 2017 and sent to Rosie Harper on 1 April 2017,’ Judith said.
‘A video?’ Judge Nolan was engaged now.
‘Yes.’
‘And what does this video show?’
‘It features Debbie, and it was followed by requests to Rosie Harper for money; £25,000 in the first instance, followed a year or so later with a request for £15,000. I think the best thing would be for me to show the video. I am assuming my learned friend has no objections.’
Laidlaw leaped up to object, his mouth already agape, but Judge Nolan waved at him to sit down.
‘I’m sorry Mr Laidlaw. I don’t think there is anything you can possibly say, which is going to prevent me from allowing Ms Burton to show us this video. You brought up the payments, so you may as well save your strength.’
The lights were dimmed once more and Debbie appeared on the screen, on stage, fussing with her long blond plaits. The close-up camera shot revealed her heavily-lined lids, her false eyelashes, her tight corset. Music started to play and she raised a microphone to her red lips. Then she frowned and took two steps sideways, fidgeting with her hair. The music stopped. The audience waited. The music began a second time. Then Debbie took a deep breath, closed her eyes and began to sing, in a rich tenor voice.
As she sang, the rowdy audience grew quieter and quieter, hanging on her every word, the poignant lyrics pulling at their heart strings, even those who were fairly inebriated by that stage of the evening. She finished to rapturous applause and took three bows before backing away and disappearing behind the plush curtains.
Debbie, in court, appeared considerably less at ease. Her face was crimson, she stared at the floor and her hands were tightly clasped together.
‘Back in February 2017, when that video was taken, was it usual for you to go out wearing women’s clothes?’
‘No,’ Debbie whispered.
‘Why was that?’
‘I was too scared.’
‘What were you scared of?’
‘I was scared of being recognised…of being found out. I was still “Danny” to the world, a heterosexual, macho man, a role model for young, male footballers, like Ken said.’
‘So why that night?’
‘It was the first Saturday night, after I told Rosie I wanted to transition. It had been a very hard week. I had questioned whether it was the right thing to do, because I caused her so much pain. She was so disappointed in me that I almost caved in. I almost gave it all up. But I had worked so hard to get to that moment. All my forty years of my brain telling me I was a girl, but my body showing everyone else something different.’
‘Why didn’t you give up?’
‘Rosie said such awful things to me. The kind of things her mother, Elaine, told you: that I had tricked her into marriage, that I was selfish and that it was too much for her to bear. And in some ways, that made me more determined. Maybe if she had hugged me and said she understood, that she had guessed before, that she would always love me, the person underneath, the same person I’ve always been, then I would have decided it was not worth losing her. I can’t say for sure. But I suddenly knew that there was no turning back. Not if I wanted to stop living the lie I had lived for so many years – my whole life really.’
‘What about the clothes you are wearing in the video?’ Judith spoke softly, coaxing Debbie on.
‘The clothes? Ha! And the wig. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having long blond hair, hair I could brush and style and touch, like the girls in my class. Every time my mother took me to the barber, I would cry myself to sleep. And the corset and the rest? I look at them now and think they look nasty and cheap. I feel ashamed that you, all of you, are seeing me like that, when I have worked so hard to…promote a different image of who Debbie Mallard is. I didn’t have to be quite so…flashy, but somehow, at the time, it felt right. I was making a statement. I was saying “here I am”. But I never expected such a large audience.’
‘And the song you sang?’
‘The song is ‘I See The Light’. It’s from Tangled. I took the kids to see the film when they were little and I loved it – probably more than they did. It’s the Disney version of Rapunzel and it’s the song she sings when she finally escapes from the tower. It’s about realising all the things you’ve been missing all your life, until that moment. And never wanting to go back in that tower again.
‘David, a friend of mine, and he really is just a friend and he’s very kind. He knew I could sing. He thought it would be a good thing for me to do. And it felt…liberating. It really did. The memory of that performance, how people responded, it helped me get through those first few months on my own. But watching it here and now, I want the ground to open up and swallow me.’
Jeremy Laidlaw stood up and looked quizzically in Judith’s direction. He appeared to be lost for words, but it was only short-lived. ‘Your honour, I can’t see that any of this morning’s testimony is remotely relevant to this trial. I request…
Then the doors at the back of the court crashed open and Dawson rushed forwards, with Greg following closely behind.
* * *
Constance and Ben were walking along East Road with Belle in tow. Their progress was hampered by the dog’s desire to linger over old haunts; a series of clearly familiar lampposts, gates, even manhole covers proved almost irresistible to her as they approached her old stomping ground. Eventually Ben prevailed, and they found themselves outside Rosie’s house. The piles of flowers had been cleared away some weeks ago, but someone had placed a single, red rose on the top step. Ben rushed forward and picked it up, his fingers closing tightly around its stem.
‘Dad always bought her roses on her birthday,’ he said.
‘That’s nice.’
He peered in through the front window. Then he turned around and looked across the road at Lynn Harris’ house.
‘You don’t have to do this,’ Constance said.
‘I have to come back sometime. Now feels all right. I think it will make me feel close to Mum again. Uncle Ellis keeps saying we should sell the house. I don’t want to. If we move somewhere else, we’ll lose her. Anyway, it was our deal to come here, wasn’t it?’
Ben unlocked the door and they went inside. The living room was tidy, the rug shifted towards the back door, to cover the place where Rosie’s body had lain. There was a slight hint of cleaning products in the air and post had been collected and laid out on the table.
‘Looks like your uncle’s been looking after the place,’ Constance said.
Ben touched the letters, picking up one addressed to Rosie and returning it to the pile. He crossed the room and sat down on the sofa. Belle jumped up and curled up beside him, thrusting her face into his chest. It felt strange standing in the room Constance had examined minutely from hundreds of angles via a series of photographs. She found herself trying to work out how the pictures matched the real thing.
‘Did Laura say she would be here soon?’ she asked.
‘Five minutes, she said, but it won’t be. She’s always late. Drove Mum mad.’
‘I bet.’ Constance reached one hand out and stroked Belle’s head. Five minutes was enough to clear up a few points with Ben, if he was feeling cooperative. ‘You know when you told us, me and Judith, that you felt guilty about something. Was it just about the argument your parents had, or was there something more?’ she began.
Constance watched Ben carefully. He stroked Belle’s coat and pulled her closer.
‘I told you she saw someone the night before she died,’ he said.
‘Yes.’ Constance waited. Ben took a deep breath.
‘It was Jason. I should’ve said. I saw him from the window, in a taxi.’
‘I know.’
‘You know?’
‘I found out he and your mum went out and I’ve talked to him about it, so don’t worry.’
‘I’m so pleased you know and it’s OK.’
Constance had a sudden thought. ‘Did Jason ask you not to tell anyone he was with Rosie that night?’ she said.
‘No. He never asked. It’s just that he was so kind. He came over, the night…the night mum died. He hugged me, told me he’d look after me, said that he knew I wanted to act, that he’d put me in touch with some contacts of his. He even offered to look after Belle.’
‘He looked after Belle?’
‘I asked him. I couldn’t take her to Laura’s flat. First he said he would, then he said his wife wouldn’t let him, then he said he would again, but by then Laura had arranged for her to go to a friend. I just…I didn’t want him to get into trouble, I suppose, because he was being so kind. But if you knew already, I feel better.’
Constance’s phone vibrated in her pocket, at the same moment as she heard a key in the lock and Ellis entered with a bag of shopping. She rejected the call. Something Ben said had jarred, but the call, and Ellis’ arrival, had distracted her and she couldn’t now recall what it was.
‘Oh!’ Ellis leaped back. ‘You gave me a shock. You should have said you were coming. The place is probably an awful mess.’
Belle jumped at Ellis’ voice and she began to bark loudly. Ben grabbed her lead and pulled her to him, whispering to her to calm down. She continued to bark, leaped off the sofa and almost pulled Ben off too, before he hauled himself to his feet.
‘She doesn’t seem to like me today,’ Ellis joked, still holding his bags.
‘She’s just nervous, as it’s her first time back here. And she’s not great with men, generally. Hey, girl. It’s Uncle Ellis, shush now,’ Ben cooed.
But Belle barked even louder, interspersed with a nasal whining.
‘I’ll take her outside, just for a minute. Get her to calm down. Laura’s not here yet anyway. Call me in when she arrives.’
Ben unlocked the back door to the garden, stepped through and closed it behind him.
‘Laura is expected, is she?’ Ellis asked, striding through the hallway and skipping down the steps to the basement kitchen.
‘I asked her to come over, yes.’ Constance followed him down, her phone buzzing again. She ignored it a second time.
‘Why the welcoming committee?’ he asked, unpacking some bread and milk and a couple of tins.
‘Ben wants to plan for when Debbie comes home.’
‘Debbie coming home!’ Ellis didn’t try to hide the sneer in his voice. ‘Those diaries must have put paid to her chances, don’t you think?’
‘Not necessarily,’ Constance said. ‘Debbie explained why Rosie wrote them.’
‘You’re still feeding us that line? You’re not in court, now. You can say what you really think.’
Ellis threw his plastic bags into a cupboard. Belle was still barking loudly in the garden.
‘Ben, try to get her to be quiet,’ he shouted up the stairs.
‘You didn’t want to be in court today, hear the rest of Debbie’s evidence?’
‘I’ve heard enough, thanks. I went mostly for Ben and when he said he wasn’t going in today, it was welcome news.’
Ellis turned towards Constance and she could see a sheen of sweat spread across his forehead.
‘Cup of tea?’ he asked, grabbing the kettle and filling it through its spout. Then the doorbell rang.
* * *
‘I’ll go,’ Constance said, and she climbed the stairs to open the door.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ Laura loped in, in her laconic fashion. ‘I forgot my key. I didn’t want to come, if I’m honest. I didn’t want to disappoint Ben though. He’s got some crazy idea of having a party here, he said. Is that right?’ Isn’t that a bit inappropriate, or is it just me? She closed the door behind her and stood, arms folded on the door mat.
‘Where’s Ellis?’ she asked.
‘In the kitchen,’ Constance said.
‘Why’s Ben in the garden?’ Laura crossed the room and waved at Ben through the window, before turning back to stand on the spot where Rosie’s body had lain. She looked down, raised one hand to her mouth, stepped off the mat, then crouched down and touched the floor with her fingertips.
‘Oh,’ she said.
‘Laura, can I ask you something?’
Laura stood up and folded her arms tightly across her body. ‘Ask away,’ she said, her voice quivering.
‘It’s about something you talked to your mum about. Something a bit sensitive…’
Ben flung open the back door and ran in, shutting an excited Belle out in the yard. In his hand, he held a very dusty black, leather motorbike glove.
‘Look,’ he said, waving it out in front of him. ‘It’s Dad’s missing glove. It was here all the time.’
Constance ran forward. ‘Where did you find it?’
‘Belle found it. Well, she went straight to it, dug it up from underneath the fence. She must have buried it, in the first place. Will it help Dad, do you think?’
‘That depends whose DNA is on it, I suppose. I know one person it will definitely help though.’
‘But it’s been under the ground?’
‘You can’t get rid of DNA that easily,’ Constance said. ‘Whoever handled the glove last, their DNA will still be there. I read a report on it recently. We’d better find something to put it in. I’ll call Inspector Dawson right now.’
Constance was disturbed by a light rap on the front window. She spun around to see a woman’s face pressed up against the pane. At first her features were distorted. Then, as she pulled back, Constance could see who it was. She opened the door and Nicki tumbled in, her chest heaving up and down. Seeing her audience, she stopped short, her eyes wide with surprise.
‘Did you want me?’ Constance asked.
‘No…I…I thought… It doesn’t matter. It can wait.’ She might have left, if Ellis hadn’t called to her from the top of the stairs.
‘Hello Nicki,’ he said. ‘Looking for me?’
Nicki stood with her back to the door, her eyes flicking across Ellis’ face.
‘You two know each other?’ Laura challenged.
‘We used to,’ Nicki said, ‘before Ellis’ tastes moved to even younger women.’
Ellis took a step into the room.
‘Ellis. Who is this? I don’t understand,’ Laura said, her face crumpling.
‘It’s no one important. Just an old acquaintance of mine.’
And then the pieces fell into place for Constance.
‘This is the older man you told your mother about, isn’t it?’ Constance asked Laura, gently. ‘But you didn’t tell her his name.’
Ben stared from his sister to his uncle and then back again.
‘What? You’re not serious. You and Ellis?’ Ben said. ‘How could you do that? He’s our uncle.’
‘He’s only mum’s stepbrother,’ Laura snapped.
‘Did you tell Mum? Laura, did you tell Mum?’ Ben was backing away, still gripping the glove in his hand.
‘I told her I was seeing someone older than me. She got all pissed off, so I didn’t tell her the rest.’
‘But you did, didn’t you, Ellis?’ Constance drew the two youngsters behind her. ‘So, what happened? You had an argument about it, Rosie got angry, so you hit her.’
Ellis laughed. ‘You have a wonderful imagination,’ he said. ‘But you’ve got it completely wrong. I don’t hurt women.’ Then he turned to Nicki. ‘Look what you’ve done. They all think I’m some kind of monster. Why are you here?’ he said.
‘I wanted to see you,’ she said. ‘You ignored my calls, my messages. I just wanted to talk.’
Laura had backed away from Ellis and was standing shoulder to shoulder with Ben.
‘Haven’t you done enough damage to this family?’ Ellis said. ‘You want to know who she is? She’s the one who made Rosie’s life miserable, not me. She paid you, twice; forty thousand pounds. That should have been enough. But you had to have more.’
‘I only did it because you were ignoring me. I just wanted you to get in touch.’
‘Ellis? Who is she?’ Laura asked.
‘He never told you about me? I’m the one he followed to Hong Kong, the one he promised to love forever, and I was stupid enough to believe him. But it was just a smokescreen. He was only interested in what I could do for him.’ Nicki pointed to her cheek. ‘I got this because of him.’
‘No!’ Laura shouted. ‘Ellis loves me! You love me, don’t you? We’re going to get married.’
‘Dad told Mum you were a wanker,’ Ben said, ‘and I thought he was being unfair. Turns out he was right all along.’
‘Whoa!’ Ellis held his arms up in the air for quiet. ‘This is all getting quite out of hand. Nicki, this isn’t the time or the place. Go home and we’ll talk another time. I promise I’ll call you, this afternoon. Laura, I do love you and we can work through this. I’m sorry you never got to tell your mum about us. I know she would have understood and been happy for us. And Ben, I’m disappointed in you. I know you love your dad and I know he and I don’t see eye to eye all the time, but I love you and Laura and I loved my big sister, the TV star, and I would never, ever hurt her.’
Everyone was silent for a moment, digesting Ellis’ words. Constance was wondering if she really had got things wrong again.
‘You knew about the blackmail, though?’ she said.
Ellis shrugged. ‘Only after Rosie had paid up the second time. She told me about it, when we met up some months back. There didn’t seem any point telling her I suspected Nicki – not once it was all done – but I told Rosie to let me know if it happened again. I said I would sort it out for her. Then Rosie called me up, the day she died, told me she’d had another request for money, asked me what she should do. I said I’d come over. I didn’t want to tell her about Nicki over the phone. It was going to be pretty hard to explain that my crazy, jealous ex was blackmailing her to get back at me. But I didn’t get here in time.’
Ellis sat down and lowered his head, and a tear streaked his cheek.
‘I had a call from a client, wanted some new rugs, and I had to source them from China. It took me hours. By the time I was finished, it was already on the news. Rosie was dead.’
Nicki laughed quietly to herself. ‘Very good,’ she said. ‘Recreate yourself as a loving brother and uncle; a protector. You told me about Debbie’s transition, about how sensitive your sister was and you knew I would use it. You were just happy if it kept me off your back.’
‘You are a very sad person,’ Ellis said. ‘And I feel sorry for you, but I haven’t done anything wrong.’
Nicki frowned, then she reached a hand up to her cheek. Then she sighed. ‘I don’t know why I’ve waited so long for you,’ she said. She turned to go. She placed one hand against the door and then spun around again and spoke to Laura. ‘He’ll use you and then he’ll leave you,’ she said. ‘But then, what’s new?’
She exited the house, leaving the door open behind her. As she descended the steps, a police car approached at high speed, pulling up right outside. Its occupants leaped out and ran towards her. Nicki looked at them, spoke to them briefly and then climbed into the police car with them. As the car pulled away, she gave a last lingering look through the window.
* * *
Constance called Judith.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked.
‘Dawson’s stopped the trial,’ Judith said. ‘He says Greg found out who blackmailed Rosie. He wants to pause things while they investigate further. Bridget’s thinking about it. No doubt she’s phoning a friend to decide what to do. I called you, but you didn’t pick up. Where are you?’
‘At Rosie’s. Listen, it was Nicki Smith who blackmailed Rosie, but she didn’t kill her.’
‘Nicki Smith? OK, if you say so. But then who did kill Rosie?’
Constance looked around the room and her eyes alighted on Ben and the glove, then on Belle, then on Laura, who was staring at Ellis and steadfastly refusing his advances.
‘I think I know,’ she said. ‘Meet me at Regents Park underground station. See if you can persuade Dawson to come along too.’