Chapter Forty-Four
Walker squinted against the bright sunlight, groaning when he realized the hour. The fire had kept him up most of the night. He had fallen into bed a little before sunup.
He lay there for a moment thinking about his dream. In it he was holding his son, standing beside Sarah and looking out over Spring Grass. It was summer and the grasses were blowing, the sun hot on his face. He held Sarah’s hand, and she was cradling a child, laughing up at him, only the baby she held was a girl.
His hand absently felt Sarah’s side of the bed. He thought about the opportunities that he’d had lately to end the dispute—when he felt the baby kicking against his hand…staring at Sarah’s smoky cheeks, so thankful she was alive as he wiped the soot from her tearstained face. He imagined the feel of her dancing in his arms, could picture her quick and easy smiles, and remembered the smell of burned corn bread and their laughter over the drunken chickens. He smiled at her bulldog tenacity and how much she wanted to make the marriage work.
He thought about the two near-fatal accidents coming one on top of the other. He could have lost her. Would his anger have been worth it? She’d done wrong, but he’d also done wrong by not forgiving her. She wasn’t anything like Trudy. Sarah had a heart of gold, and if he continued to hold her at bay, he would be a fool.
The hall clock struck eight when he came downstairs—midmorning for him. Flo was busy in the washhouse, her face flushed with exertion.
“Where’s Sarah?”
The housekeeper doused a shirt in the rinse water. “Still asleep, I imagine. Yer gettin’ a late start, ain’t you?”
“Yes. I’m going to fix a tray and have breakfast with her.”
“Suit yourself. Want me to fry bacon?”
“No, I’ll find something.”
A little while later, he rapped at their bedroom door, balancing a tray in one hand. When Sarah didn’t call out, he rapped again. Still no answer.
Pushing the door open with his boot, he was surprised to see that the bed was made. His eyes scanned the empty room. Maybe she was with Potster—but he’d seen the ranch hand cleaning the bunkhouse windows earlier, alone. He stepped into the dressing room. It was in disarray, but she wasn’t there.
Walker carried the tray back down to the kitchen, glancing up when Flo came in.
“She wasn’t hungry, huh? That’s not like her. Are you two quarreling again?”
Walker shook his head. “She wasn’t there. You haven’t seen her this morning?”
“No. I assumed she was plumb worn out from all the doin’s last night. Are you sure she isn’t in her room?”
“She’s not there.”
They searched the house, to no avail. Walker caught a glimpse of S.H. from around the corner of the house as he was heading for the charred remains of the barn. He opened the back screen door and called, “S.H., have you seen Sarah around anywhere?”
“No. Been inspecting the damage.”
“What did we lose?”
“Everything that was in the barn is gone—the hay, the tack, and the buggy. At least the horses made it out safely. Barn’s gonna hafta be rebuilt.”
Walker frowned. How could they have lost the buggy? It wasn’t in the barn last night. He’d taken it out to mend the top and hadn’t put it back.
“Are you sure about the buggy, S.H.? It shouldn’t have been in the barn.”
S.H. shrugged. “Well, it’s not here.”
“What do you mean it’s not here?”
“If you didn’t put it in the barn, I don’t know where it is.”
Flo came out on the porch, wiping her hands on her apron.
Walker glanced at her, and then turned back to S.H. “Check the shed and see if the extra tack is missing.”
“Why?” the foreman asked.
“Maybe Sarah decided to use the buggy this morning.” That seemed unlikely; she had never ventured anywhere on her own. Unless she had decided to run away. Walker’s stomach churned at the thought.
Flo frowned. “Where would she have gone?”
“Check on that tack, S.H.”
S.H. returned in a few moments, shaking his head. “You’re right. The tack is gone. She must have took the buggy.”
Walker closed his eyes and shook his head. Then he said, “I need a saddle, S.H.”
“I’ll scare one up—where are ya goin’?”
“To town. I’m afraid she might have decided to go back to Boston.”
“Land sakes!” Flo exclaimed. “Why would she do that?”
“Because I’m a blind fool, Flo, and I just realized it.”
S.H. disappeared and returned with a saddle, a blanket, and tack. Walker saddled Diamond and swung aboard, allowing the animal free rein. Dread washed over him as he rode out. The fall wind cut through his light jacket when he tethered the horse at the train station. Eldon Snides looked up, grinning when he saw him.
“Walker. What can I do for you today?”
“Did my wife board a train this morning?”
“Mrs. McKay?” Eldon scratched his head. “I just came on duty.” He peered over the passenger list. “Ah, here it is: Sarah McKay.”
“Yes, sir—’pears it was. Train left a couple hours ago.”
Walker turned away from the window. “Why would she leave without telling me? She wouldn’t walk away from the chance to have a place in her child’s life.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing. Thanks, Eldon.”
When Walker reached the Logans’ store, he realized he was walking the horse instead of riding her. He secured the animal to the hitching post and then sat down on the bench outside the mercantile to gather his thoughts. Should he go after her?
Lowell Livingston would fight tooth and nail before he let Sarah return after all that Walker had put her through. He heard the door open and hoped Denzil would leave him alone with his pain. “Mornin’, Walker.”
“Morning, Denzil.” He started to get up, but Denzil motioned him back down.
“Sit a spell.” The storekeeper sat down beside him, taking out cigarette papers.
“I’m not good company right now, Denzil.”
Denzil eyed him knowingly. “Female problems, huh?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Well…” Denzil rolled a cigarette, licked the paper, and sealed it shut. “You know I’m not one to pry.” He struck a match, letting it burn. “It’s just a downright shame that it had ta happen to ya twice.”
Bad news spread quicker than poison ivy. Before long, the whole town would know about Sarah’s sudden departure. Folks laughing behind his back, snickering. That McKay can’t keep a woman, they’d say. Wonder what’s wrong with him? Worse yet, he’d lost the only woman he’d ever loved.
“If a man cain’t trust his best friend, what’s the world comin’ to?”
Walker frowned. “My best friend? What’s Caleb got to do with this?”
Denzil shifted on the bench, fanning the match out as it seared his fingers. “Now, you know I don’t want to get into your matters, but when I saw your buggy with Caleb and your missus leaving town this morning, I couldn’t help but take notice.” He leaned closer, whispering. “Martha and I had a little squabble ourselves and—”
“Caleb?” Walker interrupted. “Caleb was taking Sarah to the train station?”
Denzil pulled the cigarette from his mouth and studied the cold tip. “Train station? No, they left town in your buggy.”
“Are you sure it was Sarah?”
Another match flared. “Yeah, it was your buggy, all right, and Caleb was in it with your wife.”
Caleb and Sarah? Impossible.
“You can never tell about women. One minute a man’s minding his own business, the next he’s sleeping on the floor of his store.”
Walker rose from the bench and began striding toward the bank.
“Good luck,” Denzil yelled, flinging the flaming match to the ground. “Don’t let a filly get ya down!”
Walker walked into Caleb’s office without knocking. The banker glanced up, surprise registering on his face.
“Denzil said he saw you with Sarah early this morning. What’s going on, Caleb?”
Caleb swallowed, his eyes darting past the open door. “Your wife asked me to drive her to the train station—”
Walker faced him coldly. “I know my wife better than that. You’re the last person on earth she’d ask, and the station is across the street.”
“She had a change of heart. She stopped by early to ask my forgiveness, and, of course, I gave it. Then she asked me to walk her to the train station.”
The answer didn’t surprise him. Why shouldn’t she leave? He’d all but shoved her out of the house.
“Calm down, Walker.” Caleb’s features softened. “I know Sarah’s departure comes as a shock, but it is the best for all. She’s a wise woman.”
Turning around, Walker strode out of the office. He walked out of the bank, determined to act as if the world went on. But deep down he knew Sarah was different. He’d known it from the day he married her. Let her go, a voice in his mind demanded. She’s been nothing but trouble since she got here. Yet he rebelled at the thought. He didn’t want to let her go. Mounting Diamond, he picked up the reins.
Then it hit him.
If Sarah had taken the train, where was his buggy?
Swinging off the horse, he strode back into the bank. When he reached Caleb’s office, he asked, “Where’s my buggy?”
“Buggy? Er…well, I…I suppose it’s…maybe you should ask Tom Howell—”
“The blacksmith? Why would he have my rig?”
“He could have…I wasn’t sure what Sarah wanted to do with—” The banker fidgeted with a stack of folders. “Sometimes, Walker, things happen…things we don’t want—”
Walker’s brow furrowed as suspicion crept up his spine. He’d never seen Caleb so defensive or so confused.
A large hand slammed over Caleb’s, pinning the banker in place. “Where’s my wife, Caleb?” It wasn’t a question; it was a demand.
“I…” Caleb glanced away. “I resent the accusation in your tone. I don’t know where your wife is. The last I seen her, she was boarding the train.”
“What happened to my buggy? You were driving it, weren’t you?”
“Yes. I left it over at the livery and asked that someone see that you got it. Perhaps I didn’t secure the reins tightly—the horse must have wandered away.”
“The horse wandered away?” Leaning over the desk, Walker grasped him by the collar. For the first time in his life, he wanted to hurt Caleb—badly. Fear constricted his throat. “Denzil saw you with Sarah, in my buggy, heading out of town early this morning. Now, what have you done with my wife?”
Caleb features crumbled. “Now, calm down, Walker. She’s not hurt. She’s…” his voice broke. “I didn’t know what to do with her, so I locked her in a bedroom at my house.” Breaking into tears, the accountant clutched Walker’s shirtsleeve. “I’ve tried to stop her every way I knew how, but she persisted. I’ve agonized over what to do with her from the moment I took her this morning—I snapped. I planned to do away with her, but you’re my best friend. I couldn’t do it. If she’d only left things alone! She snuck into my buggy last night and found the deposit book. I planned to pay you back, Walker, every cent. I’ve borrowed money from you before—when have I ever failed to pay you back?”
Walker took off his hat, running his hand through his hair. “Why go behind my back, Caleb? You know I would give you anything you asked.”
“I’m in deep, Walker. Deeper than I’ve ever been in my life. I haven’t known where to turn—but my luck’s changing! I’m playing in a high-stakes game Saturday night. You’ll see, I’ll win it all back and more. Then I was going to return Sarah and the money, and we could go on from there—”
Coming to tower over the miserable man, Walker grabbed his collar. “If you’ve hurt her…”
“I haven’t,” Caleb said, weeping. “I wouldn’t do that, Walker. I know you love her.”
The realization hit Walker like a ton of bricks. He didn’t just need Sarah to produce an heir; he loved her. And he had done everything within his power to drive her away. The baby was important, but without Sarah they would be only half a family. His existence would be empty without her.
“Walker—”
“I’ll deal with you later. Right now I’m going after my wife.”
Squinting, Sarah leaned down, closing one eye as she jiggled a hairpin in the keyhole. Potster had made it look so easy, but she’d worked for an hour and hadn’t cracked the rigid lock. If she didn’t get out of here soon, she was going to burst. Hours had gone by without the use of a necessary, and she was desperate.
Rattling the handle, she gritted her teeth with frustration.
How long would Caleb leave her in here? And then what? Would he actually do away with her? Questions flashed through her mind. Would Walker figure out what had happened to her? Would he be so angry because she’d left without telling him that he’d think it was good riddance? Giving the handle one last vicious shake, she slid down the length of the door, sobbing.
When she heard a horse pounding along the rutted drive a few minutes later she felt faint. Caleb was coming back!
Getting to her feet, she yanked so hard that the door actually flew open, surprising her and causing her to land backward on the wool rug with a jolt. Grabbing her belly, she lay there for a moment, assuring herself that she wasn’t hurt. Then, crawling on her hands and knees, she closed the door, her eyes searching for a weapon. The bedpost. It was long, angular, and loosely attached to the bedstead. When she heard the banker’s footsteps coming down the hallway, she was waiting by the door, club extended over her head.
The door flew open, and Sarah swung the makeshift weapon with all her might. Her abductor caught sight of her from the corner of his eye and quickly sidestepped the blow. She shot out of the room, bouncing off the opposite wall and knocking vases and knickknacks off a polished table.
Hands shot out to support her. Strong, familiar hands. Wonderfully familiar hands. Turning, she met a man’s blue, blue gaze.
“Walker! How did you know—?”
He latched onto her tightly, holding her close. After a moment, his mouth captured hers in a hungry, urgent kiss that sent her head reeling. It was many moments before she could break the embrace long enough to gasp, “How did you know where to find me?”
“Caleb told me.”
“Caleb? But he—” A second, more urgent kiss prevented her from asking the myriad questions swirling in her mind.
“Sarah,” Walker murmured, holding her close as he stroked her hair. “I should have listened—”
She stopped him, her fingertips tracing his mouth. Oh, how she loved him, more than she thought she could ever love anyone. But she didn’t want him if her word would always be in doubt.
Straightening, she set the club aside.
“Sarah—”
“I’m going home, Walker. To Boston.” He’d reacted and kissed her out of fear. He wasn’t thinking straight.
“I know you’re angry, but you can’t leave me now.”
“I’m not angry. For the first time in my life, I’m finally thinking straight. I can’t make you love me, though I have tried. Until the day you do, I won’t beg for your crumbs any longer.”
His eyes softened. “What would I have to say in order to make you stay?”
“If you don’t know, you’re in worse shape than I thought.” She brushed past him before she started crying. Not so long ago she would have accepted any terms he offered, but the stakes had changed. Now she wanted more.
He trailed her down the hallway. “What if I told you that you’re going to break Flo’s and S.H.’s hearts if you leave? They’re real attached to you.”
“Wouldn’t work.”
“What if I told you Potster thinks of you as the daughter he never had? You’re not going to leave the old man without saying goodbye, are you?”
“Potster’s my friend. He knows the situation.” She hurried down the stairway.
“What about Caleb?”
“What about him?”
“If there’s a trial, you’ll need to testify.”
“Are you pressing charges?” She stepped off the porch and headed straight for the necessary. Walker’s long-legged strides kept up with her.
“Well?” she asked.
“Well, what?”
“Are you pressing charges against Caleb?” She’d bet her last dollar he wouldn’t. Walker would be angry with him, but he would never send Caleb to jail.
“Sarah—”
“That’s what I thought. You weren’t willing to forgive me, but you will forgive Caleb.” She disappeared into the privy and slammed the door.
Leaning against the outhouse, he said softly, “What if I say I forgive you? We can start over, Sarah. We’ve both made mistakes—”
“No.”
She emerged shortly afterward and walked toward the buggy, which was in the yard where Caleb had left it.
“This isn’t all my fault,” he accused. “You could have told the truth and this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Could have, should have, might have, needed to. What difference does it make? I didn’t, so here we are.” She swatted his hand as he tried to help her into the buggy. She lurched aboard and picked up the reins, meeting his eyes for the first time. “None of these reasons you have stated are good enough to make me stay.”
“Sarah, I’m begging you—”
Snapping the reins, she drove off, leaving him standing in a swirl of dust.