Rikki stood facing Storm, chest heaving as she growled, “Why are you holding back on me?”
“Rikki, you just got out of the hospital three days ago. You are still recovering after everything you’ve been through. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Rikki snarled. “All you are doing right now is pissing me off. I’ve shifted twice since that first time. I’m moving around just fine. I’m running, lifting weights. I feel good. Like my normal self. Let’s do this!”
“Rikki,” Storm seemed to hesitate as she glanced over to where Angel and Steele stood watching them. “You may feel fine, but you haven’t sparred in months. There is a chance that I could hurt you, and I don’t want to do that.”
“Then get someone else in here,” Rikki spat, turning to Angel. “I am never going to get stronger and be where I need to be if someone doesn’t challenge me, dammit.”
“I’ll do it,” Phoenix growled, walking toward them from the barn. They were at Angel’s farm, where they spent the days working out, sparring, and shooting when they weren’t out on a mission. Against many protests, Rikki had been there since she left the hospital, even choosing to stay overnight. She’d already spent several hours at the shooting range and was happy to see that she was up to par there. Now, she just needed to get back to her full strength. She needed to spar.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
“No holding back?” he asked, motioning Storm away as he stopped in front of Rikki. “Cause, I’m gonna put you on your ass, little sister. Over and over again. You’ve had a fucking attitude ever since you opened those pretty brown eyes of yours, and I’m getting sick and tired of it.”
“I do not,” she protested, clenching her hands into fists, her nails digging into her skin.
“You’ve been snapping and snarling at everyone,” he growled. “Why is that?’
“I’m not.”
“Yes,” he snarled, “you are. And you know it.”
Rikki began to shake, rage pouring through her. “Fuck off, Phoenix.”
Phoenix began to walk slowly in a circle around her, shuffling his feet to the right. “It’s the truth. Every member of this team came to see you at the hospital, even the ones you hadn’t met yet. We all tried to get you to talk to us, but you wouldn’t. We can feel your anger, Rikki, but we don’t know why. Do you have any idea what we’ve been going through these past few months? How much we’ve all missed you? We were scared to death that you wouldn’t wake up. That you would choose to move on instead of coming back to us. And then, when you finally do wake up to face the world, you treat us like crap. We’re family.”
Rikki felt her claws lengthen, and she bared her teeth at him in anger. “What you’ve gone through? What about me, Phoenix? What about what I went through?” Pissed off, she lunged in, slicing her claws over his arm before leaping back out of his way. She forced her claws to retract, knowing it would be hard to throw a punch with them. And that was what she wanted right now. To pound the shit out of something, or someone. At this point, it didn’t matter who it was.
Glancing down at the blood dripping from his wound, Phoenix raised an eyebrow. “Cheap shots aren’t like you, Rikki.”
“All’s fair in love and war,” she snapped back, kicking out quickly, her foot connecting with his gut before she quickly spun away on the balls of her feet. A wave of dizziness swamped her, but she pushed it aside. She didn’t have time for weakness right now. She had to fight, had to get stronger.
The punch to her side shocked the hell out of her, and her eyes widened when pain shot through her. A small whimper escaped before she could stop it, but she bit her lip, forcing the pain away. Blocking it so she could concentrate.
“Phoenix,” Angel said quietly. “Maybe this isn’t the right way.”
“This is the only way,” he growled. “We’ve given her time, but she’s been nothing but a bitch to us. I’m tired of handling her with kid gloves. She wants a fight, she’s got it.”
“Kid gloves?” Rikki snarled. “I’ll show you kid gloves!” She was on him in seconds, all in. Short, powerful jabs connected with his abs, and then an uppercut to his chin and a fist to the face. Dancing away, she was right back with a sweep of her foot, knocking him on his ass.
Phoenix was up and on his feet before she knew it, throwing an arm up to block her next punch. “So, that’s how it is?” he snarled.
“What?” she jeered. “You can’t handle a little sparring? I thought you were better than this, Phoenix?”
Shaking his head, Phoenix wiped at the blood dripping down his chin, his eyes flashing to his wolf and back in anger. “What the hell has gotten into you, Rikki?”
“Rikki, whatever is wrong, this is not the way,” Angel said in a low tone. “Trust me.”
“Trust you?” Rikki growled, turning to her alpha. “I did trust you, and look where it got me.”
Pain flashed through Angel’s eyes, and she moved closer to Chase, leaning into him for support. “I’m sorry, Rikki.”
“I trusted all of you!” Rikki cried.
“I don’t understand,” Nico said in confusion, appearing from around the side of the barn. “You know you can trust us, Rikki. We’re family.”
Target practice must be over, Rikki thought in a huff as more and more of the team showed up. She bared her teeth at them as a low growl rumbled in her chest. Of course, they didn’t understand. How could they? Most of them were with their mates every night, while she had no idea where hers was. If it was one of theirs, they wouldn’t be standing around here at Angel’s farm, they’d be out looking for the ones they loved.
“Rikki…”
Rikki swung around and bared her teeth at Angel when the alpha moved from her mate’s embrace and took a step in her direction. “Stay away from me.” Rikki glared at them as she slowly turned in a circle. “All of you, stay the hell away from me.”
“That’s enough,” Chase growled, his hand on Angel’s arm halting her movement. “I know you are going through a lot right now, little wolf, which is the only reason I’m giving you a free pass this time. You will not disrespect my mate again.”
“You are not my alpha,” Rikki snarled, her eyes trained on the dangerous man.
“Yes, Rikki, he is,” Nico said quietly. “We have all sworn our allegiance to the White River Wolves. Once Chase and Angel fully mated, he became our alpha, and Angel his alpha mate. We answer to both of them.”
She knew Angel had finally accepted Chase’s mate claim, hadn’t thought anything beyond that. Now, Rikki’s heart constricted as she realized what that meant. There would be two people who had control over her, not just Angel. It was hard enough for her to answer to Angel, she was afraid having to obey both would be nearly impossible. Her chest tightened, her breath coming in short, harsh pants. “I haven’t,” she rasped. “I follow Angel, and only Angel.”
“That’s not the way it works,” Angel said, pulling away from Chase to walk over to Rikki. “I am so sorry, my friend. This is all my fault. I just couldn’t let you go, but I never thought about what it would mean to you. I know how difficult all of this must be for you, with your past.”
Everything was crowding in around her, and her wolf was rising quickly to the surface. Rikki tried to shove her back down, somehow knowing a lot of the issues she was having right now were because of her, but it wasn’t working. “I agreed,” she whispered, her hands out to her sides as she clenched and unclenched her fingers, her claws punching through the tips of her fingers.
“Yes, but you were in so much agony,” Angel said, reaching out to place a gentle hand on her arm. Chase growled deeply in warning, but she ignored him. “You were bleeding out quickly, almost gone from us. You weren’t thinking clearly, and neither was I.”
Shaking her head, Rikki reiterated, “I agreed.”
“Yes, but you didn’t fully know what you were agreeing to.”
Lifting her head, Rikki met her light blue gaze. “Yes, I did. I wanted to live, Angel. I didn’t want to leave this world. I didn’t want to leave my mate.”
Angel’s brow furrowed, and she let her hand fall to her side. “That isn’t what this is about? Your anger at being turned?”
“And it can’t be about Chase being your alpha, because you didn’t understand that until just now,” Flame said, her hands resting lightly on her hips. Cocking her head to the side, her long auburn hair resting over the swell of her breasts, she asked, “Does it have something to do with Jeremiah? Cause if I’ve learned anything this past year living with shifters, it’s that the one thing that makes them lose control is if it involves their mates. It would only stand to reason, as angry as you’ve been, that this has something to do with yours.”
Angel gasped, her eyes widening in comprehension. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it, Rikki? Jeremiah? Why would you be so angry at us about him?”
Rikki’s wolf pushed to the surface, and before she knew what was happening, she began to shift.
“Rikki?”
“You didn’t save him!” Rikki ground out, past the fangs that had erupted in her mouth.
“Save him?” Angel frowned, shaking her head. “Rikki, I can’t help what Jeremiah…”
Before she could finish her sentence, Rikki snarled, “He’s my mate! That makes him family! You should have brought him home to me. Instead, you all left him there. With that bitch, Ebony. My mate is in danger, and it’s your fault. You left him!”
Chase quickly closed the distance between them, his finger going into a loop on Angel’s pants. Tugging, he hauled her back next to him, away from Rikki who was in mid-shift.
“No!” Angel said, shaking her head in denial. “He left us, Rikki! Once we figured out what he was doing, we searched for him. So many times. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t find him. He was evading us. This last time, when we saw him, we tried to get him to come home. He wouldn’t listen. He walked away from us. There was nothing we could do.”
Rikki froze, pain slamming into her at Angel’s admission. Her mate had walked away from them? From her? Slowly, her fangs receded, and she collapsed to the ground. He’d had the chance to come home, to be with her, but he’d chosen to walk away? Her heart shattered in her chest, and a loud howl ripped from her throat. Her mate had left her.
“Oh, Rikki,” Angel whispered, tearing from her mate’s arms and dropping to her knees beside her. Reaching out tentatively, she placed a comforting hand on Rikki’s shoulder. “He didn’t want to leave you. He loves you so damn much. He’s doing what he is doing because of how much he cares. He’s trying to get rid of everyone who could cause you harm.”
A shudder rippled through her, and Rikki threw back her head and howled in despair again. Maybe he was doing what he was out of love for her, but it didn’t change the fact that he could have come home. Instead, he chose to walk away from her. If he really wanted her, wouldn’t he be there right now?
“Rikki, listen to me,” Phoenix growled, kneeling beside them. “Think about it. That man loves you enough to be out there fighting a war that could get him killed. He’s in the middle of the fucking trenches. He’s worked himself so far deep into all of it, that if they found out who he is, his death would not be an easy one. But he’s doing it for you. Because he loves you.” Rikki stiffened, the thought of Jeremiah in that much danger brought her wolf to the surface again. Her gaze locking with Phoenix’s, she growled, her eyes flashing wolf and back. He leaned in, placing his forehead to hers. “I say, get mad, little sister. Get pissed the fuck off. Get up and fight. That man doesn’t need you laying in the dirt crying. He needs you fighting for him, like he is doing for you.”
Slowly, Rikki pulled away from Angel and stood. She was shaking, the struggle against letting her wolf free a hard one. “She’s angry,” Rikki rasped, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “So angry.”
“Your wolf?”
Rikki nodded. “She’s mad as hell at the world. I’m having a hard time controlling her.”
“That’s why you are so pissed at everyone,” Angel said quietly as she rose to her feet and stepped back by her mate. “Your wolf is.”
Her eyes fluttering open, Rikki whispered, “She doesn’t understand why he isn’t here…and neither do I.”
“Because he’s a dumbass,” Trace muttered.
“She wants out,” Rikki admitted, ignoring him. “Wants to fight someone. Something. I try to push her back down, but it’s so hard.”
“So, let her out,” Phoenix said, a small grin turning up the corners of his mouth. “Maybe a good rumble is all she needs.”
“What?”
His hands going to the snap on his jean, his grin widened. “It’s been a week or so since I’ve sparred in wolf form. Let’s have a little fun.”
“Fun?”
“Hey, just don’t go for the throat.”
Her eyes went to his hands, and her cheeks colored. “Can’t you go do that in the barn?” she snapped. “I don’t want to see your dick flying around. Jesus, you’re like my freaking brother.”
Nico let out a roar of laughter. “There’s our Rikki.”