Chapter Six

 

NATALIE TURNED THE oven down to warm, having covered the lasagna so the top wouldn’t dry out. She wondered if she was a crazy woman, inviting Zach over for lunch. It was Tuesday, and his daughter would be at his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to worry about the waterworks turning on when interacting with her.

It has been two weeks since he’d rescued her from falling on the sidewalk while walking to Calum’s gym, and they were both fooling themselves into thinking they were successfully ignoring the darned attraction that apparently had started all the way back in Cal’s hospital room.

She’d had no clue, too damaged at the time to recognize it for what it was. It had only been a few months since her ex-husband’s betrayal and loss of the most important part of her life. A piece of her heart had died that night, and she’d been hoping the rest of her would just follow along.

Refusing to go down that thought path, she turned and surveyed the kitchen, wanting to present a warm, comfortable lunch experience without it appearing romantic. Should she have used grandma’s better dishes? Should she have dressed better, or more casually?

Gah! It had been years since she’d entertained a man and apparently had no clue what to do anymore.

“Stop fretting, sweet girl, and just enjoy that man’s attention.”

Natalie didn’t whip around like she’d done the first time—or the tenth time—she’d heard her grandma’s voice. Still not convinced she wasn’t losing her mind, a part of her felt comforted at the thought her grandma was hanging around to make sure she was settling in.

Although, if there was life after death, why couldn’t she see her little one, at least one more time?

She stifled a sob and straightened her shoulders, determined not to be a weepy woman when Zach arrived. He’d been patient with her silence, and with her refusal to have anything to do with Belle. She just wasn’t ready to interact with a child the same age Matty had been when she’d lost him. Didn’t mean she’d always feel this way, but for now, it was the only way to cope.

“Grandma, if you’re really sticking around, and my mind isn’t going, thank you for everything, and I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you when you died.”

She didn’t even jump at the fleeting feel of a kiss on her forehead or pat on her shoulder before the room felt empty again. A smile lit her face, thinking how fitting that the spirit of her grandma would find a way to be here with her, considering how kick-ass and strong willed she was in the flesh.

The peel of the doorbell had her swiveling and making her way carefully to the front door, not wanting to undo any of the good her cousin had done in recovering some of her mobility. That small voice in the back of her head telling her she was getting too close to her handsome, kind neighbor was ruthlessly shoved into a corner of her mind and locked away.

They were both adults and could maintain a friendship without crossing the line, and she didn’t want to lose this foray into normalcy he was providing. And if her libido had woken a little, too? Well, she could ignore it, just like she’d done for the past few years, even before she’d sent her ex to prison.

She peeked through the clear portion of the stained-glass panel to the side of the door, her heart tripping at the sight of all that muscular perfection standing tall on the porch. A twist of the lock and knob had the door opening, and the sexy smile that curved those masculine lips had her squelching a sigh.

Apparently, today would be another attempt at hiding her attraction from this big man, who apparently could trigger every erogenous zone on her body by just gazing at her with those smoky gray eyes, along with the smile that said he was happy to see her.

“Come on in, lunch is ready and warming in the oven.”

“Oh man, you made lasagna, didn’t you? Is that your grandma’s recipe? She made it for us a couple of times and let me tell you, it was the best I’d ever tasted.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now get in there and enjoy my granddaughter, too.”

Zach and Nat swiveled their heads in unison, eyes wide, before turning to stare at each other, neither apparently ready to admit they’d heard something.

Zach recovered first, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck before scraping it across his face. “Did.” He stopped, looked around again, turned to stare at Natalie, then started speaking again. “Did you, uh, hear anything just then? I have to admit, I’ve kinda thought I’ve been going a little crazy, but—if you—well, did you hear something?”

Natalie gasped and grabbed his arm, glanced around again, and whispered loudly, “Did you hear grandma? I’m not going crazy?”

Soft laughter trailed from the room and up the stairs as they both stood stock still, looking at the stairs as if watching someone climb them.

Zach chuckled, took her hand from his arm and linked their fingers before leading her into the kitchen, having been there when Grandma Edna was alive, and again when Nat had invited him for lunch a few times in the past couple of weeks.

“You’re not going crazy, Nat, but I’ve gotta tell you the past couple of weeks I’ve thought I was losing it. I’ve heard her several times, mainly when I’ve been talking to myself.”

“Holy shit, I was sure I’d finally lost it and was hearing voices because I miss her so much. And because I felt so guilty for not being here when she died, and then missing her funeral.”

Zach hadn’t crossed the line of more than hand-holding, or carrying her that one time she’d almost fallen, so when he wrapped those muscular arms around her and tugged her against his massive pecs, enfolding her as if shutting out the world and anything that could hurt or upset her, she simply froze, then melted against him like butter in the hot sun.

“Aww, sweetheart. You know your grandma would understand and wasn’t one to hold a grudge. She also knew how much you loved her and appreciated her. I can’t tell you the number of stories she told us about you, and Cal, and how often she expressed concern for you or reminisced about the good times you three had when you and Cal lived with her.”

Suddenly torn between crying her eyes out, or tearing his clothes off, Nat decided to just wrap her arms around him and stay in the circle of his arms. Apart from his rocking body, his compassion was sexy, too. Where were these out-of-control emotions coming from? After her heart being dead for so long, she wasn’t sure what to do with this wild desire.

She stifled a sob, and her traitorous body snuggled closer when his arms tightened around her. Was it wrong to want some comfort from someone not her cousin? From a man showing every sign of being as attracted to her as she was to him?

Or was she misunderstanding attraction for sympathy and comfort? Her answer came in the form of what felt like a steel rod pressing against her tummy before Zach jerked his hips back a hair. Her breasts were still pillowed against those magnificent pecs, but he was careful to keep that stiff, apparently just-as-excited-as-her part of him from nudging her tummy.

Welp, that answered her question. Not that she thought either of them would do anything about it. Nope, he had a young daughter she still couldn’t bring herself to meet or be around, and she had so much baggage she almost needed to rent a storage unit to fit it all in.

A mirthless laugh almost escaped at that thought, and Zach, darn his ability to tune in to her moods, spoke up.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

She reluctantly pushed away, and he seemed just as reluctant to let her go. “I have no clue why you want to spend any time with me. I was just thinking I need a self-storage unit to handle all this emotional baggage I keep carrying around. Why would you want to deal with me? With it? There are so many other women out there, more attractive and less damaged than me.”

“Hey. Baggage aside—because believe me, I have some of my own—we’re just two adults enjoying each other’s company. And I do enjoy yours, beautiful lady. Doesn’t need to be any more complex than that. Belle’s mother burned me before and after she was born, and I gotta tell you, my heart locked itself down afterwards. I don’t think either of us is looking for anything more right now, yeah?”

A quick glance at his face showed nothing but sincerity and honesty, along with the banked fire in his eyes. Okay, they were in agreement, then. She would just enjoy his company, no pressure, and keep her heart tucked away, too. So what if the thought of holding their relationship at friends-only made her heart give an unhappy thump in response?

They both jerked their heads toward the ceiling when a ghostly harrumph, along with the sound of a door slamming, echoed from upstairs.

When their eyes met again, they shook their heads in unison and turned toward the kitchen.

“Grandma never was afraid to let me know when I’d disappointed or annoyed her.” Nat glanced toward the ceiling again before pushing open the swinging door and entering the kitchen.

“When I was overseas with Cal, there were times we’d both swear we were in the presence of ghosts. There was so much death and destruction, and so many areas we were in were ancient. I’d see apparitions out of the corner of my eye, hear crying, mumbling, and outright yelling, when there was no one but us two in the area. But I’ve gotta say, this is my first encounter here in the United States.”

She turned, pulled out a chair, and sat. “I’ve never seen or heard a ghost until Gram, although you must have heard about how magical Beacon Bay is, from all the way back when it was settled?”

“Yes, I’ve heard some stories, but thought they were just legends and not necessarily based in reality.”

Zach walked around the table and stopped at the stove, pulling open the door and donning the potholder gloves. She idly wondered how they could possibly fit those broad palms and thick fingers, and then immediately got sidetracked, wondering what those hands and fingers would feel like on her bare skin, strategically placed for maximum pleasure.

Something of what she was thinking must have been apparent, because Zach stopped what he was doing and swept his gaze from her flushed face, down her body like a caress before making his way back to her now flaming cheeks.

His voice so soft and raspy, she had to lean forward to hear him. “Want to tell me what put that look in your eyes, on your face with that sexy flush to it?”

She now knew just what the term deer in the headlights meant. “Uh, well. Nope, you just keep doing what you were doing and ignore me.”

He gave her another heated look before turning to pull the lasagna from the oven, and she wondered if she heard him correctly when he muttered, “Fat chance I can ignore that sexy body and beautiful face.”

His comments took her by surprise, since she was feeling anything but sexy or beautiful. Choosing to ignore what he said, she realized she was letting him play host when she was the one who’d invited him over for lunch. “Oh! Here, just set that in the middle of the table on this big trivet, and I’ll get our drinks.”

Jumping up, she opened the fridge and leaned over to peruse the shelves. “I have local beer from Bonfire Brewery, cola, iced tea and water.”

She turned her head just in time to catch his eyes on her ass, and realized bending over like this, in tights and a tunic that had risen, presented him with quite an eyeful. A slight turn of her body provided a profile view to him, and her butt was no longer front and center.

Now it was his turn to blush, his face turning a dull red as he turned and set the pan on the hotplate as directed. “I’ll take a beer.”

“I, uh, have several. Fyre Spice, Baken Honey, and Lodestar Dark.”

She turned to see him leaning against the table, arms crossed against that massive chest with biceps bulging. Argh! How was she supposed to stay firmly on this side of the friend zone when all she could think of was getting him naked in her bed? Especially with that heat brewing in those storm gray eyes, like a tornado crossing the prairie ready to sweep her up.

He pushed off the table and crossed the room to lay a hand on the fridge door. “I’ll take a Baken—Honey.”

She grabbed the bottle, and an iced tea for herself, then squinted at him as she handed it off, wondering at the pause before he’d said honey. It sounded almost like an endearment. Like a caress across her senses.

Choosing to ignore every wayward thought she was having today, she shut the door, walked around him, and sat at the table. She could play it cool as a cucumber. What other choice did she have? He deserved more than half a heart, and considering she barely had even that to offer, she needed to ignore any wild urges and remember how damaged she was.

If she hadn’t been able to repair herself and pull out of the depression in all this time, what made her think she could do it now? Besides, he wasn’t looking for a relationship, so she had nothing to worry about.

 

❄ ❄ ❄

 

ZACH HAD better start worrying about his inability to keep Nat firmly in the friend zone. Regardless how hard he tried, and how often he reminded himself she was not looking for a relationship—that she was emotionally bereft and didn’t want to be near Belle—and would probably never even consider being part of a family again, his damned heart and libido refused to fall in line.

It wasn’t just her looks, her beauty, and her sexy body, though. She had a kind, beautiful soul and personality, to go along with her physical beauty and rockin’ body. She’d started putting on weight and muscle tone just in the few weeks she’d been working with Cal, and her skin and hair had taken on a healthy glow and sheen, too.

They had established an odd sort of friendship, keeping their conversations light and dodging anything having to do with her son, Belle, or her grandma. Shew! He had no idea how someone ever got over the loss of a child, especially when they felt some responsibility, even if it wasn’t the least bit her fault.

He figured he’d feel the same guilt, though, regardless of the circumstances. A caring, loving parent felt it was up to them to protect their kids, and no matter what tore that child away, they would always feel guilt to some degree.

So why was he foolish enough to keep seeing her? To keep offering to drive her to her PT appointments with Cal? To continue taking her out to eat, or coming over here for lunch, although this was just the second time she’d cooked him a meal.

And what the heck was up with Grandma Edna haunting them? If he wasn’t mistaken, the matchmaking busybody was trying to push him and Nat together. As much as he’d loved Edna—still loved the old woman—it wasn’t going to happen.

“Hold your plate out and I’ll dish the lasagna up. There’s garlic bread, too, along with a veggie medley.”

Her voice brought him out of the deep recesses of his mind, stopping the train speeding down the tracks of hoping for something more than mere friendship. A relationship, although he had no fucking clue how to be in one. Not a real, loving one, anyway.

He lifted and held his plate, admiring the play of muscles in her arms and the shadow of cleavage when she leaned over to put a generous spatula-full of noodle goodness on it.

With an inner groan, he surreptitiously adjusted his misbehaving cock, glad to have the table between them, and that he wasn’t sitting next to her in a restaurant instead, where a glance at his lap would give him away.

Deciding he needed a distraction, he asked, “How’s the editing going? Any interesting books this week?”

Her face became animated at his question, and he was glad to see he’d done at least one thing right today.

“Oh yes! A romance author I’ve edited one book for previously sent me the second in her series. It’s a paranormal, bear shifter romance and wowza, can she write! Interesting plot, great characters and the sex, uh, well, she writes really well.”

Zach grinned at her, realizing she’d been about to describe what great sex scenes the author had written. The devil on his shoulder gave him a nudge he couldn’t resist.

“Come on, Nat. Don’t leave me hanging. What were you going to say? The sex….”

“Just you never mind, Zachary Esposito,” she said primly.

“Oh, now you’re just being mean. What’s the author’s name? Maybe I can pick up their first book and read it for myself?”

She looked equal parts horrified and intrigued, and he wondered if he would get insights into what sexy activities Nat enjoyed by paying attention to the sex in the book. Annnd, his cock would never go down enough for him to stand if he didn’t stop thinking of sex and Nat naked. What the ever-loving hell was wrong with him lately?

“How’s the web design and blogging business?”

Zach gave her a look, letting her know she was off the hook for now, before answering. “It’s going well. A couple of my articles have gone viral, so I’ll get good payout on those. I’ve also been uploading content on YouTube and TikTok, which is driving requests for articles and website design, so that’s good. So far I’ve been able to keep up with the demand, but I have a couple of buddies I can refer folks to if I get too busy.”

She beamed at him, and his traitorous heart gave another hard thump. “That’s amazing! I’m glad you’re staying busy. I know how important it is that you be able to work from home.”

He realized she was always careful not to mention Belle, and he was savvy enough not to have hurt feelings, but still wished she was more comfortable with his situation at home.

“Yeah, I consider myself very fortunate to have business thriving.” He grinned at her before saying, “I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the author you’re working with. I still want to know her name.”

“Sheesh, you’re like a dog with a bone. Fine, her name is Dixie Dupret.” She fiddled with her napkin, took a drink of her tea, and another bite of bread and wouldn’t look at him.

“Thank you, Natalie,” he said softly. Damn, he hadn’t meant to embarrass her, and it seemed like he had by asking again.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. That wasn’t my intention. I would never hurt you—in any way. I hope you know that.”

She lifted her head and nodded slowly, as if mulling over something. “I know that, Zach. And I’m fine, just being silly.”

“Are we okay?” He may not be ready for a relationship, but he suddenly realized he did not want to lose this woman’s company or friendship.

She looked startled for a moment, then gave him a shy smile. “Yes, we’re okay.”

He smiled in return. “Good. I don’t want to lose your friendship, Nat.”

She cocked her head at him before responding. “You won’t.”

Not ready to stay on a serious conversational track, he derailed that train and asked, “How’s the PT going? I know Cal can be a hardass, uh, taskmaster when he’s bent on getting someone back on their feet and strong again.”

Her laughter showed she knew exactly what he was talking about. “It’s going well, and he was that way as a kid, too! When he wanted something, boy was he single-minded and one-track. Whew! Has he helped you out in the past?”

Zach nodded ruefully. “Oh, yeah, before he even set up shop as a physical therapist. When we were overseas, I’d twisted my knee when running downhill with a full pack. Damn thing swelled up like a melon and hurt like hell. Cal ended up hoisting me over his shoulder, and another buddy grabbed my pack. By the time we got back to camp, I couldn’t bend it or put any weight on it. After a week, the swelling reduced enough Cal started me on passive range of motion exercises, and it was another week before I could do the exercises myself.”

She groaned in sympathy. “Oh yeah, and as careful as he is when he’s manipulating the leg, it still hurts like hell, but he can harden himself and just keep doing it. I know it’s necessary, but there were times I wanted to tell him to take a hike, get up and leave.”

Zach nodded. “Yes! Exactly, except we can’t get up and walk out, so we’re stuck with the evil exercise master!”

“Ha! Yes! You totally understand.”

It was the first time he’d ever seen her let loose with a full-bodied laugh, and it was an amazing thing to see. It mesmerized him, how her face lit up, the curve of her lips, dimples denting each cheek, and her head thrown back. She caught him staring when she opened her eyes and they widened. He had no clue what she saw in his expression, but he must have been broadcasting something she’d not seen before.

“What? Do I have red sauce on my face?” She wiped her mouth self-consciously.

“No sauce. You’re just so fucking beautiful.” He realized what had come out of his mouth when her eyes widened even more and her mouth dropped open. Before she could toss him out on his ear, he held up his hands and backpedaled.

“Sorry, ignore me. I overstepped. What’s for desert?” He waited with bated breath for her to either give him the boot or serve sweets, and let out a relived sigh when she merely gave him a considering look, rose from her chair and grabbed a covered dish from the counter, along with two small plates and forks.

“About time you stepped up your game.”

He ignored the ghostly whisper in his ear and internally rolled his eyes.

Who’d ever heard of a matchmaking grandma ghost?