Chapter Thirteen

 

NAT WOKE AGAIN to a throbbing head and aching shin. She felt pummeled as she lay there. Oh, not physically pummeled. Even though every ache and pain pulsed right through her. No, she felt emotionally pummeled.

She replayed in her head Zach’s story from the night before. Her heart ached for him, and for Belle. For herself. What Zach and Belle had gone through could have ended just as terribly as Matty’s fate.

Last night, Belle had woken soon after he’d finished telling his story. Nat had lost her desire to go hide in her room and had instead stayed in the living room with father and daughter. They’d eaten pizza, and she’d watched as they’d dressed the tree in all its finery and laid train tracks, the vintage Christmas train chugging around the colorful tree skirt.

Much to her surprise, she’d actually enjoyed being part of their family tradition, although she’d wished with all her heart her son had been there decorating with Belle. Had wished they were a family. Handsome husband, son and daughter, loving wife and mother. She needed to get that picture out of her head. As in now.

She paused, shock rolling through as she wondered at the absence of the horrific, heartrending pain that normally swamped her at any thought of her son. There was still pain. It would never fully disappear, and she didn’t want it to—didn’t want to forget her little boy—but it was oddly muted, in the background. Not searing her soul and sucking the very life out of her.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to let it go. To rejoin the living. To possibly care for someone else, either sexy alpha guy or cute munchkin. Those two were worming right into her heart, but she just couldn’t, wouldn’t, let them in all the way.

Opening herself to the risk of losing anyone she loved again? Not a chance. It had been horrific to find the man she’d married was actually an abusive monster. She’d divorced his ass and moved on, making a new life with Matty. Unfortunately, they’d released the bastard from prison without letting her know, and he’d found them—had decided they were still his. She’d barely survived the loss of her son. How could she open her heart and take another chance at love? A small voice in her head insisted, how could you not?

“I can’t love them,” she whispered to herself. “Losing them would surely kill me.”

“Oh, sweetie, I think you’re already on the way to loving that wonderful man and sweet little one. I know I do. Take the chance, Nat. Open your heart again.”

Natalie jolted, totally convinced her grandma was haunting her, trying to get her to live again—to pull her from her depression. It seemed Beacon Bay was living up to its magical reputation.

“Grandma?” She waited, her breath hitching as she wondered if she was just imagining things. That she missed her grandma so damned much she was hearing things—but no, Zach heard her too.

“I miss you so much, grandma, and even if I’m imagining you, it still feels wonderful.”

A soft touch on her forehead, much like when her gram used to kiss her good morning, had her closing her eyes against the tears welling.

“It’s me, sweetie. I’m hanging around for a while, before I go for good. Let your heart awaken to love, Natalie.”

“Oh, gram! I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I’m sorry I stayed away, that I let my sorrow keep me from you.”

“Just never you mind talk like that, young lady. I understood—I understand—and love you more than you’ll ever know. Now, do as I said.”

A knock at the bedroom door jolted her from her musings. She tugged the blanket over her lap. “Come in.” She steeled herself, expecting to see Zach and his little shadow walk through the door.

Zach entered alone, looking too sexy for his own good. Ebony curls draped his broad forehead. Equally dark lashes framed his almost silver eyes, the contrast against his tawny skin striking. The man was too handsome, too caring, for her own good. Heck, he was just too darned everything a woman could want. And a threat to her ability to stay detached.

She glanced behind him. “Where’s your little shadow?”

“She’s with my sister today, Christmas shopping and helping decorate her tree.”

Nat didn’t care at all for the jolt of alarm that speared through her to learn Belle wasn’t in the house. Was his sister careful enough? She was feeling territorial about the little girl. Overly protective. Where was her deadened heart when she needed it? Why was her heart awakening now? She attempted to tamp down the concern and fear, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep from asking, “How long will she be gone?”

“My sister lives just a few blocks away and tries to take Belle at least twice a month, and for at least one sleepover a month.” He grinned. “Gives her a woman’s touch and perspective to balance being with Calum and me the rest of the time.” Zach gave her a look that said he understood her concern and appreciated it.

Was she that transparent in her feelings? She could tell by the look on his face he knew she worried about Belle. And why wouldn’t she be? After listening to his story last night, she just didn’t trust anyone else to be as watchful as they were. “She won’t let her play out front by herself, will she? She holds her hand when they’re out?”

Nat realized she was sticking her nose smack dab where it didn’t belong. “Never mind. It’s none of my business. I’m sure your sister is careful, or you wouldn’t let her take Belle.”

 

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ZACH COULD tell it upset Natalie that Belle wasn’t home. He hadn’t expected this reaction. Oh, he knew she was forming a reluctant bond with his daughter—it had been obvious last night. She was softening toward her, and had actually instigated affection.

While decorating the tree last night, she’d pulled Belle onto her lap as he’d topped it with his mother’s porcelain angel. A tradition in his family dating back ninety years. Same angel, every generation. When Belle was an adult with her own family, it would adorn her tree.

He’d watched from the corner of his eye as Natalie had rocked Belle and smoothed a maternal hand down her hair. Watched her drop her cheek to the top of his little girl’s head and close her eyes on a sigh.

A mixture of affection and old pain had filled those glass-green eyes when she’d opened them and met his gaze. She’d offered a small smile, then scooted Belle off her lap and handed her a Santa ornament to hang—the moment gone, but not lost.

He walked to the bed and sat on the edge, his leg cocked so his knee brushed her thigh through the covers. He expected her to pull away, heartened when she did nothing more than fiddle with the edge of the quilt.

“Randi is very careful with Belle, sweetheart. She’s like a mama bear when they’re together.”

“Does she have kids of her own, then?”

“Nope, no kids. She’s single. Director of a women’s shelter. She’s around confused and abused kids—and women—almost every day. I trust her with Belle’s welfare, emotional and physical.”

Natalie’s sigh of relief wasn’t lost on him. He understood completely her concern. The year after Belle’s abduction, he hadn’t let his daughter out of his sight. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when it came time for school. Maybe home school and arrange for supervised play dates for socialization.

He quelled her nervous plucking at the colorful quilt by laying a hand across hers. When she did nothing more than still, he laced their fingers together. Her eyes snapped to his, her clear green gaze filled with what seemed to be desire and fondness. He was sure she didn’t know her eyes broadcasted her every thought and emotion. If she did, there was no way she would ever look at him.

After their time together last night, acting like a family around the tree, he knew he was on the home-run slide to loving her. He’d been depriving not only himself, but Belle, from a woman’s love all these years, just because he’d been afraid to trust again. Afraid to trust his heart. And if he was completely honest with himself, he realized recently he’d been holding a torch for this woman since he’d spent that week with her at Cal’s beside in the hospital.

He’d fallen under Natalie’s spell back then, and even more so since reconnecting. His daughter was also falling under her spell, missed a woman’s hugs and attention—especially since Grandma Edna had passed. Oh, she got attention, received plenty of hugs and attention from his sister, but that seemed different to him. It was only a couple of times a week, and she was firmly in the aunty role.

Natalie didn’t know it, but she was in for the campaign of a lifetime. He’d spent the night unable to sleep, unable to think of anything or anyone else. Her warmth and caring. Her sensuality. Her sense of family, as evidenced by her relationship with her grandma and Calum. Her devastation over the loss of her son.

The way she’d opened up to Belle last night to reassure his little one seemed to overcome her previous desire for distance, and she was now exhibiting mama bear tendencies. He knew in his soul if there’d been any way at all for her to have saved her little boy, she would have done it.

That she harbored such guilt was unconscionable and something he needed to help her let go of, while he convinced her to love him as he was coming to love her. Not love at first sight, but counting the week years ago and the past months, his love for her was growing by leaps and bounds.

Keeping her gaze captive, he leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. Her eyes drifted closed before she jolted and snapped them open again. Her luscious mouth formed a perfect O before she jerked her hand away and whispered, “What was that for? What are you doing?”

“I’m exploring, Natalie. This thing between us. I know it’s only been a few months since we reconnected, but I’ve never been as sure of anything in my entire life.”

“Wha…? What are you talking about? Sure of what?”

She was practically shouting at him and all but quivering in agitation. He’d hoped for a different reaction, but this was prickly Natalie he was dealing with. He had to hope she’d come around.

He’d seen the affection, the longing looks she’d sent his way when she thought he wasn’t paying attention, and those actions convinced him she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Emotionally and physically.

He wasn’t one of those skeevy guys who couldn’t take no for an answer, or who pursued a woman when she clearly wanted nothing to do with him. But he was the type of man to recognize self-destructive behavior, and also to recognize when someone was interested, even if they didn’t want to admit it. If he truly felt she wanted nothing to do with him, he would keep an emotional distance—as fricking hard as that would be—and care for her until her house was back in order and she could walk again.

But that wasn’t the case. She not only wanted him, he was sure she needed him—and Belle. Now he just had to wear her down and convince her to give them a chance. Easier to do with her living in his house, that’s for sure.

He leaned in for another quick kiss, then jumped up and reached under the blankets to scoop her into his arms. “Let’s get you to the bathroom. You must be desperate about now.”

He stilled when he realized he had a handful of warm, soft bare thighs across his forearm, dressed as she was in nothing but a thin tank top and boy-short panties. After a quick glance down, it took all his strength to bring his eyes back to hers. “Um, I thought you’d have pj’s on. I’ll help you into the bathroom. Get ready for a drive, okay?”

He ignored the initial daggers and confusion in her eyes, zeroed in on the heat that started swirling in that vibrant green, and deposited her next to the sink with one slim hand holding the edge.

As hard as he tried to keep his eyes on hers, he just couldn’t stop his gaze from dipping down to take in her beaded nipples. Or the long expanse of smooth thighs and calves, ending at remarkably sexy feet tipped with hot-pink toenails.

He swallowed hard and swiped a shaky hand across his face as he backed out of the bathroom, hoping she missed the sight of his cock pressed right up against his zipper in its attempt to get to that lush flesh hidden under those revealing, skimpy boy shorts.

A low, feminine voice whispered in his ear after the door closed.

“Don’t let her dodge you, Zachary. She loves you and that sweet little girl—she just doesn’t recognize it yet.”

Zach didn’t know if he’d ever get used to a ghost talking to him, but he gave a decisive nod and whispered back, “I’m on it, Grandma Edna.”

 

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NAT DREW a shaky breath, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. What the heck just happened? They’d been talking, and he’d swooped right in with those sensuous lips of his. Brushed them in tantalizing strokes across her own.

And just about graced her with what would have been her first orgasm in over five years. With nothing more than a kiss! Shew, but that kiss packed a punch. She took a deep breath and admitted the truth—he’d been giving her heated looks for several weeks. Had been affectionate, concerned and caring. Was he actually pursuing her? Part of her wanted nothing more. The other part, the part that had been in hiding for years, wanted to run far, far away.

She really needed to get back to her own house—to ignore the ghostly words of her gram—but the fire marshal wasn’t even close to finishing his investigation, and then the fire damage would need to be dealt with before the house was livable again. They apparently had a backlog of investigations, and would get to it when they could. Maybe she could stay in a hotel, even if she couldn’t walk yet. Where she could just bury her heart again and not worry about being—falling, she corrected—in love.

Not that she loved Zach. Or Belle. But, oh God, she was falling under their spell. Could love be far behind?

She awkwardly used the bathroom and washed up as best she could. She wasn’t up to trying for a shower and just made do with a warm, wet washcloth. What she should do, she thought, was tell Zach she wasn’t going.

Being alone with him in his truck, driving wherever he had in mind, was too intimate. And too darned tempting without Belle as a buffer.

She had every intention of doing just that, too. Until she opened the door and his hopeful, affection-filled eyes met hers. What seemed right just moments ago now seemed more akin to kicking a puppy.

Although no one in their right minds would accuse Zach of being puppy-like. Nope. More like a sexy shapeshifter from a romance novel. One with storm-gray eyes that could entice you and devour your resistance with just one look.

Her resolve melted like sugar in a hot pot. “Fine, let me get dressed and we can go.” It wasn’t the most gracious acceptance, but she was suddenly drowning in feelings, with no life preserver. A shiver tap-danced on each vertebra up and down her spine. For the first time in what felt like forever, she was going to do something because it made her feel good.