Chapter 20: A Faster Way to Fly

Zero minutes of fun and two hours of enraged back-and-forth over the phone later, the two old men were finally yelling at each other in Georgie’s backyard.  According to Georgie who was watching them from safely inside the house, anyway.

“Now Grandpa poked him in the chest,” Georgie reported.  “Two baobhan siths appeared from nowhere and are holding his arms back so that he can’t do that again.”

“You know, your grandpa’s really brave,” I commented.

“Yeah, that or stupid.  They could kill him in an instant.”

Which is why you’re a coward to not go out there and stand beside him, I thought but didn’t say.  It was unlikely there was anything Georgie could do to help, anyway.

“So what’re they saying now?” I asked.

“I dunno.  Something about money.  The baobhan sith clan leader is waving his arms around while he replies.  Oh, now Grandpa’s all red-faced and getting louder.”  There was a pause.  “Something about minimum wage?”

“I hope he doesn’t think them all getting jobs flipping burgers would fix the problem,” I said.

“I dunno,” Georgie said.  “He’s an accountant.  He probably knows what he’s talking about if he’s talking about money.  Oh, now he just said something about selling something.”

“Probably their awful clothes, so they can buy normal ones,” I said.  “Oh, wait, but who would buy them?”

“A museum would, but only if they admit that they’re from four hundred years in the past,” Georgie said.

I lay back on the bed of Aunt Dodo’s guest room.  Her two clan members had arrived an hour ago, and the three of them were now downstairs watching a movie.  The one who liked romances had apparently brought one with her “just in case,” and she’d insisted on showing it to both of them while I was busy.  Aunt Dodo had looked pouty when I’d shrugged, mouthed “Sorry,” and headed upstairs to continue my phone call.

“Okay, what are they saying now?” I asked eagerly.

“Something about selling time,” Georgie said.  “Oh, gosh, that’s a brilliant idea!”

“What is?” I asked.

“Who wouldn’t buy extra time?” Georgie demanded.  “Everyone would want to do that!”

“Mmmkay . . .” I said.  “But where are they gonna get it from?  They need time much more than they need money.”

“Hang on a second,” Georgie said.

I waited for awhile, boredly kicking the edge of the guest bed, while Georgie listened for a long time.

“Okay, wow,” Georgie said at last.  “I think Grandpa’s saying people would be willing to sell their time to the baobhan siths as long as they pay them minimum wage for it.  He says people who are unemployed would be happy to sell their time in exchange for money.  Even people who aren’t unemployed might be happy to, because it would be the same as having a job, except that they wouldn’t have to deal with doing something they dislike.”

“But it’s time they wouldn’t get to live,” I objected.  “Who would do that?”

“Would you trade two hours of your life in exchange for not having to do two hours of homework?” Georgie countered.

Well, when he put it that way . . .

I considered.  “Maybe.  If it was most homework, probably not.  If it was math homework, probably.”

Math and I were not the best of friends.  I did not understand why Kegan liked the subject.

“Well, there you go,” Georgie said.  “It sounds like Grandpa’s plan is for them to buy time from people who want to sell it, and then sell any extra they have at a profit to anyone who wants to buy it.  Since they’re the only species that can take time or give it away, they’d probably do really well at that.”

“Sounds great.”  I grinned.  “I knew siccing the stubborn old men on each other would work!”

“Don’t be so sure,” Georgie said in a warning voice.  “They’re yelling at each other again . . . oh, great, now they’re all gone.”

“Gone?”  I sat up, alarmed.  “What do you mean, gone?”

“I mean gone,” Georgie said.  “Not a single baobhan sith in my backyard.  Just grandpa out there.  He’s getting his phone out . . . I think he’s calling my parents and telling them they can come home now.”

Georgie’s grandpa had called everyone in the clan on his way over to the house, including Georgie’s parents, and told them not to go to the house until he called them again and said the coast was clear.  I knew because he’d called Georgie afterwards to tell him to stay in the house and not, under any circumstances, leave it while the baobhan siths were there.

And then the man had arrived and gone charging straight out to the backyard to yell at the baobhan sith clan leader, despite the extreme danger he knew he’d be in doing such a crazy thing.  Seriously, Georgie’s grandpa was brave.

“I thought they wanted clothes from your house,” I said.  “Did they get any?”

“No,” Georgie said.  “But maybe it occurred to them that they could just shoplift from the mall.”

I wrinkled my nose.  I hoped that didn’t occur to them.

There was a sound in the background, and a voice mumbling.

“Lisette, I’ve gotta go,” Georgie said.  “Grandpa’s come in.”

“Wait, wait!” I cried.  “I want to know what happened!  What are the baobhan siths doing?  Did they take his advice?”

“Hang on, I’ll ask,” Georgie said.

There was a clattering sound and his voice became muffled, so he’d probably put me on speaker.

“Grandpa, did the baobhan siths take your advice?”

“No,” a grumpy voice said.  “They did not.  He said that if they did what I suggested, they’d have to change their entire lifestyles, and they want to keep living in an ancient village.  So they went to do whatever they want to, with or without modern clothes.”

A shiver ran down my spine.

“They’re going to get caught,” Georgie groaned.

“Well, it’s out of our hands now.”  Georgie’s grandfather sounded peeved.  “They won’t listen to reason.  If they get caught and thrown in prison, so be it.  I’m sure the sentence for stealing time will be the same as the sentence for stealing blood.”

“Wait!  Wait!” I cried.  “I can contact them!  My mom has a phone the baobhan siths gave me!  I can call them back, and —”

“What good would that do?” Georgie’s grandfather demanded.  “Their minds are made up.  They’re not going to change them.”

“Maybe the men’s minds are made up,” I said, an idea forming.  “The women and children haven’t heard your idea.  One of the women gave me that phone.  I bet she’s the one who talked to my mom.  If we can get in contact with the women and children the men left behind . . . maybe they can change the men’s minds.  It’s worth a try, don’t you think?”

“It’s worth a try to you,” Georgie’s grandfather said, enunciating every syllable.  “Leave us out of it.  We just want to be left alone this full moon.”

“Fair enough,” I said.  “Does Georgie want to —”

“Georgie does not want to!”

“He can speak for himself.”

“No, he can’t!”

“It’s fine,” Georgie broke in.  “It’s fine, Lisette.  Thanks and all, but no thanks.  You do whatever you want to do.  This has nothing to do with me anymore.  If they want to get themselves caught and thrown in prison, that’s their business.”

I was disappointed.  “But it might be helpful to have someone in New Yeti who can —”

The call-end sound chimed.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at the time display, indignant.  Had Georgie’s grandfather hung up on me?  How rude!

Oh, well.  There was no point in wasting time arguing with those two, anyway.  There were baobhan siths to save.  I pushed “Mom” in my contacts.

There was chattering in the background as the phone picked up.  “Hello?” Mom asked, sounding wary.

“Hi, Mom!” I said.  “Guess what I just found out!”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you.  It’s —”

“I mean, it’s no.  Whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is no.”

I sighed.  She knew me too well.

“I just need to call the baobhan sith women and children, so that they can convince the men that going out feeding on people without their permission tonight is a bad idea.  Georgie’s grandpa came up with a much better idea, only the men refused to do it because they’re stupid, so now they’re going to end up thrown in prison unless the women chase after them and stop them.  I just need to make one phone call, and they can do the rest, Mom.  Honest.”

There was silence for a long moment.

“And what is this ‘better idea’?”

“They can pay people minimum wage for their time, and then sell any extra time they buy at a profit, so that they can keep buying time to consume.  It should work really well.  They don’t even have to take any time this full moon, they just want to because they’ll consume some of their own if they don’t.  But they can get more later if they need to.  So they’ve got time to set up something official.  They just need someone to convince them to do that instead of going out robbing people and then getting caught and thrown in jail and having everyone hate baobhan siths forever.”

There was a very long pause.

“That might work,” Mom said slowly.  “And all you want to do is call them on the phone?”

“Yes,” I said.  “I want to call them on the baobhan sith phone.  You can be standing there and listening the whole time. Please?”

Another very long pause.

Mom sighed heavily.  “Oh, all right.  I’ll come and bring that phone with me.  Expect me there in fifteen minutes.”

“Yes!”  I thrust my fists in the air, one of them holding my phone.

“But, Lisette . . .” Mom was saying warningly as I put the phone back to my ear.

“Yes?” I asked guiltily.

“No running off and doing anything dangerous without my permission.  I mean it.  ‘Aunt Dodo said it was okay!’ would not be an appropriate excuse.  Do you hear me?”

“Yes.”  I nodded.

“Do you agree?”

I wriggled.  That left me with no loophole, which might have been useful.

“I agree,” I said reluctantly.

“Good.  I’ll make my excuses to the clan and be over soon.  Do not do anything to do with baobhan siths until I get there.”

I sighed as I hung up the phone.

There was nothing else to do, so I opened the door to Aunt Dodo’s guest room and headed downstairs.

The three old lady weredodos were watching a very, very slow movie with 1800s costumes and everyone speaking in British accents.  Aunt Dodo kept sneaking glances at a mystery novel she had hidden behind a cushion at her elbow.

“Oh, Lisette!” Aunt Dodo said brightly, perking up at my arrival.  “Does that mean we can watch an interesting movie now?”

“This is interesting,” one of her clan members said huffily, pausing the show.  “We’re almost at the best part.”

The other old woman shook her head behind that one’s back.

“Sorry, Aunt Dodo,” I said.  “Mom’s coming over.  There’s an emergency with the — um — the vampires.”  I didn’t want to say baobhan siths in front of her clan members.  I didn’t know how gossipy those two might be.  “We probably don’t want to start a new movie until after she gets here and leaves.”

“That sounds good to me,” the one with the remote control said, unpausing the show.

“Now, hang on!” the other weredodo said, leaning forward and talking loudly over the British accents coming from the TV.  “I want to hear about this emergency!  Is something wrong at the hospital?”

Looking annoyed, her clan member paused the show again.

“Oh.  Um.”  I gulped.  Of course they would assume it had something to do with draculas.  Mom worked at a hospital.  They probably knew that.  “No, it’s not . . . um . . . sorry, it’s private.  I can’t share the details.”

The old woman looked very disappointed.

“Can I know the details?” Aunt Dodo asked, her eyes bright.

“Sure,” I said.  “If we go into another room.”

One of her clan members looked very peeved while the other rewound the movie a little bit and then started it playing again.

We headed to Aunt Dodo’s guest room, where I shut the door.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“It’s the baobhan siths,” I said.  “Remember them?”

“Absolutely.”  Aunt Dodo nodded her head firmly.

I wasn’t sure if she was lying, but I forged ahead.

“Well, Georgie’s grandpa came up with a great idea, and they, uh . . . well . . .”

I wound up explaining the whole thing.  As I did, Aunt Dodo pulled a notebook and pen out of her pocket and started taking notes on everything.  I wasn’t thrilled at the thought of the secret being put in writing, but no one could take things out of her pocket but her, so I supposed it was okay.

As I was finishing up, the doorbell rang from downstairs.

“Oh!  Mom!” I cried.  “Wait right here, will you, Aunt Dodo?”

“Will you come back to this room to make the phone call?” she asked with avid interest.

“I think so, yeah.”

“Then I’ll wait right here.”

I opened the door to the guest room and ran downstairs to get the door.  I was a little late; one of Aunt Dodo’s clan members was already letting Mom in.

“Pleased to see you again, Anabel,” Mom was saying.  “How’s your grandson?”

“As naughty as ever,” the old woman replied, shaking her head as Mom shucked her coat off.  “You know how children are.”

“Boy do I,” Mom said dryly.  “I’ve got two like that.”

“Hey!” I said indignantly.  “You’ve got Collette, too!”

Mom looked amused.  “Interesting how you assumed one of those was you.”

“I don’t think I’m naughty, but I’m guessing you think I am.”

Mom snorted and rolled her eyes.

“So, can we go upstairs to make the call?” I asked.

“Sure.”  Mom pulled two phones out of the pocket of her coat.  “It was nice to see you, Anabel.  We can catch up later.”

Aunt Dodo’s clan member looked rather disappointed to go back to the room with the TV going.

Mom and I headed up the stairs.  Aunt Dodo was waiting for us.

“Are you going to use a cipher?” she asked excitedly.

“A what?” I asked, baffled.

“A puzzle.  To hide information.”

“Why would I use one of those?”

“To keep it secret from prying ears, of course!”

“Aunt Dodo, I’m really just trying to make a phone call.”

She looked pouty.

Mom held out a phone to me.  I assumed it was the one from the baobhan siths.  She tucked her own phone in her jeans pocket.

I turned on the phone, which I couldn’t believe she had kept turned off, and checked the call history to find the phone that had called before.  A moment later, it was calling that phone.  I took a deep breath as I waited.

“Hello?” a very unfriendly voice asked.

I nearly dropped the phone.  It’s the clan leader!

“Um,” I said, fumbling, “it’s Lisette.  I really think you ought to listen to Georgie’s grandpa’s idea —”

“Don’t call again.  We don’t need your help.”

And the call ended.

I stared at Mom in despair.

“Well,” she said, “if that’s that . . .”

“No, no, don’t give up!” Aunt Dodo said in a scolding tone.  “Why don’t you check the phone for clues?  There has to be a way to get in contact with the other vampires.  You just have to find it.”

I checked the call history, but there were no other phone numbers there.  Just the one I had called.

“Nothing useful,” I said mournfully.

“Check the location history,” Aunt Dodo said briskly.  “The GPS might have a record of everywhere the phone’s been.”

My mouth fell open.  “Phones can do that?”

“Of course.  I read about it in a mystery novel last week,” she said proudly.  “Pass me the phone.”

I did.

A few minutes of fiddling later, she held out the screen showing a Ghoulgle Map image.  “There we go.  That’s probably where the vampires live.  It’s where the phone has been most often in the past year.  You can go there and talk to them in person.”

I immediately looked at Mom.

“No,” she said sharply.

“But I don’t know any way to contact them by phone.”

“No!”

“But if I can —”

“Lisette, the moonrise is in four hours.  There’s no way to get there in time anyway!”

“Sure there is,” Aunt Dodo said.  “You can fly.”

Mom gave her an exasperated look.  “Flying takes just as long as driving.  Besides, enormous birds can’t fly for hours at night.  We require thermals.”

“No, no,” Aunt Dodo said.  “The faster way to fly.”

Mom stared at her blankly.

Aunt Dodo stuck her arms out, miming stiff wings.  “With an airplane.”

I burst out laughing.

Mom’s eyes narrowed.  “Fine.  With a two-hour flight that left almost immediately, it might technically be possible.  But there is no way you are going into such a dangerous —”

“But it wouldn’t be dangerous,” I interrupted.  “I’d be going to talk to the baobhan siths that like me, not the clan leader who wants me dead.”

“Lisette!” Mom shouted.  “Have you learned nothing from your previous experiences?”

“Sure,” I said.  “I’ve learned I should invite you to go with me.  It’ll be more fun if we’re together, right?”

“Fun?” Mom yelled.  “Do you understand the kind of danger you keep putting yourself in?!”

“Yeah, Mom,” I said.  “I do.  I also understand that it’ll get worse if I try to run away.  Remember how Rodrigo broke into our house?  Well, if I’d been there, he probably would’ve killed me.  This time’s the same.  That baobhan sith clan leader guy wants this full moon to go badly.  He wants his clan to decide they need a time stone.  And I’m the one he wants to kill to do it.  He all but admitted he had a baobhan sith follow me back to Sky City.  If this full moon goes badly, I’m toast.  You wanna keep me safe?  You help me find a way to make sure they’re okay to live without a time stone.”

Mom breathed shallowly.  She looked like she was panicking.

“Sometimes danger happens when you don’t expect it,” my great-aunt put in, nodding.  “There was this time when this thing . . . there was a car involved . . . what was it again . . .?”

“Mom,” I said, taking her unresisting hand, “I’m inviting you.  You’re not being helpless.  You’re not powerless.  You’re not tied up.  You’re not powerless.  You can be a hero, like me.  You can help save a lot of people from a terrible unfairness.”

Mom stirred.  “You’re making it sound so logical,” she muttered, pulling her hand away.  “It’s insane.”

“But we’ll be the ones who will win, Mom.  Not the bad guys.  Not Rodrigo.  He’s the one who wanted this to happen, and I think I know why.”

“Why?” she asked, holding her hand quietly.

“Because, when there are a hundred baobhan siths in prison who don’t deserve a death penalty, the lawmakers will be very, very eager to legalize taint so that they can turn them into something else instead.”

Mom drew in a deep breath.  “You think so?”

“Yeah,” I said.  “What else would he be doing?  Everything he’s done has been to get the lawmakers to legalize taint.  And if he wins, the baobhan siths will lose everything.  Perfectly useful vampires with a valuable power, normal people who are just afraid of how the world will treat them, are going to lose their culture, their species, their freedom, their power.”

“Vampire prejudice,” Mom spat.

“But we can stop that,” I said.  “We can destroy his plan.  We can help them have a freedom they deserve and have never had before.”

Mom fell silent for a long time.  She cracked a smile.  “Did you rehearse all of that?”

“Kinda sorta,” I admitted.  “I was hoping I could persuade you to give me back the baobhan sith phone.”

Mom snorted with laughter.  “This is the most ridiculous . . .  But I’ll admit you’re not wrong.  All right.  We’d better see if there’s a flight we can catch.”

“A flight?  Why?” Aunt Dodo asked, looking puzzled.