“I think I saw her arm move!” said Bean. Really, she hadn’t seen anything, but pretending made life more interesting.
“I think I saw her breathe!” said Ivy. She made binoculars with her fingers and peered at Zellaphine. “The blanket’s going up and down!”
“Waah,” said Bean quietly out of the side of her mouth.
“That was you,” Ivy giggled. Bean tiptoed closer. Zellaphine lay like a blob on the tinfoil table. Her lips were still drooly. Her cheeks were still droopy. She wasn’t moving.
“Maybe she’s stunned,” said Bean.
“Maybe,” said Ivy. She looked at Zellaphine a moment and then she bonked her on the head. “Wake up, sister!”
“She’ll thank us in the end!” Bean said. She picked Zellaphine up and dropped her on the floor. “Wake up, baby!”
They threw Zellaphine around the room a little, but she didn’t come to life. She was still a doll.
Bean thought it had been fun trying, but Ivy was worried. “I can feel myself getting more spoiled,” she said.
“All you have to do is give me the jiggly man,” said Bean. “Then you’ll be cured.”
Ivy shook her head. “No. I won’t. That’s how spoiled I am. I won’t give you the only toy you want. I won’t even let you play with it.”
“Aw, come on!” Suddenly, Bean wanted the jiggly man with all her heart. “Don’t be so spoiled.”
“See what I mean?” said Ivy. She chewed her thumb knuckle, which was a thing she did when she was worried. “I’ve got to get a sister.”
“Let’s try brain food,” Bean suggested. Brain food was one of Bean and Ivy’s greatest inventions. Everyone knows that food helps your brain think. But normal food just helps your brain think normal thoughts. When Ivy and Bean wanted to think un-normal thoughts, they ate un-normal food. That’s why they called it brain food.
In the kitchen, Ivy got out carrot sticks and chocolate milk powder. One of the things that Bean liked best about Ivy’s house was chocolate milk powder. They each rolled a carrot in chocolate milk powder and chomped it down. “Dee-licious!” said Bean.
The second one wasn’t quite as delicious. The third one was pretty bad.
“I think we need to try something else, anyway,” said Ivy. “My thoughts are still normal.” She rooted around in the refrigerator and found some pickles.
“That’s good,” Bean said. “Pickles are shaped like brains.”
Slowly, Ivy peeled two bananas. She took a pickle in one hand and a banana in the other. So did Bean. “Go,” said Ivy. She stuffed some banana in her mouth and took a bite of pickle. “Mm,” she said, but she shivered when she said it.
Bean did it the other way around. She chomped off a big piece of pickle and shoved some banana in after it. “Wg,” she said, swallowing.
Ivy’s face shriveled as she took another bite of pickle.
“I think I’m starting to have un-normal thoughts,” said Bean. She took a deep breath and ate half a banana.
“Puppapiginnere,” said Ivy, which meant, Put a pickle in there. Her mouth was full.
Bean took a little bite of pickle. “Buh,” she said.
Ivy’s mom came into the kitchen. “What are you eating?” she asked.
“Pigglenana,” said Ivy, shivering. She swallowed hard.
“Pickles and bananas,” explained Bean. “It’s helping us think un-normal thoughts.”
“You two have plenty of un-normal thoughts already,” said Ivy’s mom.
“No,” said Ivy. “We haven’t even had one yet. I’m going to eat ten more and see what happens.”
“I don’t want to see what happens,” said Ivy’s mom sternly. “You may have one more.”
“That’s not going to be enough,” said Ivy. She reached into the jar and pulled out the biggest pickle she could find. It was some pickle. It really looked like a brain. Ivy opened her mouth. But she didn’t put the pickle in it.
“Eat up,” said Bean, passing her a banana.
“Wait. I’m reading this pickle jar,” said Ivy. And she was. She read it very slowly. On the front, it said “Barney’s Extra Sour Dills, Pickles of the Gods.” Then there was a picture of a lot of gods, sitting on a cloud, eating pickles. The most important god had a little balloon of words coming out of his mouth. “This is one fine pickle!”
“Just yam it down,” said Bean. “Don’t think about it.”
Ivy put the pickle and the banana down. “I don’t need to eat it. I just got a great idea.”
“Good, because I feel gross,” said Bean. The only thing brain food was making her think about was bananas. “What is it?”
Ivy couldn’t wink, but she could cross her eyes big-time. She crossed her eyes at Bean, which meant, I can’t tell you in front of my mom. “Let’s go outside,” she suggested. “With Zellaphine.”
Ivy waited until they were in the front yard before she turned to Bean and whispered, “We need to beg the gods for a baby!”
