CHAPTER TWO

THE MAC AND CHEESE LETTER

MONDAY, APRIL 1

Dear Dad,

Well, the hat trick didn’t work. As soon as I walked into class, Mrs. Sikes made me take it off. I guess she wanted everyone to stare at MY bald spot all day instead of staring at HERS.

I tried covering the spot with my arm so that no one would notice me. But she had a problem with that too.

Even worse, the ceiling was leaking. So during silent reading time, a big drop of water landed right on my bald spot. It was so loud, everyone in class heard it.

One thing I’ve learned at this school: if you want to get out of something embarrassing, you have to turn it into something funny. So I sprang into action with a joke . . .

. . . but no one laughed.

Another thing I’ve learned: a lot of people at this school have no sense of humor.

Mrs. Sikes told me if I didn’t like getting dripped on, I should change desks.

The only free desk was the tiny kindergarten desk next to hers that she calls “the Hot Spot.” Usually it’s just for troublemakers, but for some reason, she made me sit there. Everyone laughed at THAT.

On the bright side, there were only twenty minutes until lunch. The menu said we were having mac and cheese today! So I spent the whole time thinking about that.

Our lunch lady, Mrs. Browny, makes amazing mac and cheese. Some kids say if you eat enough of it, you can get super cheese power! But you have to be careful. I once ate so much I almost exploded! So now I just do it for the awesome taste.

Last year, my 4th-grade teacher, Mr. Randall, made everyone write love poems. So I wrote mine about Mrs. Browny’s mac and cheese.

Back then, I was seriously thinking about becoming a rock star. So you can imagine this poem as the lyrics to an awesome hit single! Just listen:

Well, that’s it! What do you think? It’s pretty much my best poem ever.

Mr. Randall said that you can’t really be in love with your lunch, but we both know that’s not true. Pretty much everyone here is in love with Mrs. Browny’s mac and cheese.

Well, everyone except for the kids at the cheese-allergy table.

So imagine my shock and horror when I got to lunch and found out the mac and cheese was STOLEN!

 

The cafeteria looked like a total crime scene. Mr. Toots, the janitor, was setting up orange caution cones in the lunch line.

Mrs. Browny was crying her head off.

Plus, a lot of kids were starting to freak out!

As usual, Mrs. Sikes tried to calm everyone down . . .

 . . . but it was no use.

These kids were mad. They wanted their mac and cheese, and they wanted it now!

That’s when Mr. Prince walked in. You could tell he was really mad because he was carrying his bullhorn.

Whenever Mr. Prince gets mad, he makes these loud announcements. Only, they’re so loud, you can’t even understand what he’s yelling about.

This time, his bullhorn didn’t work. Instead, it just made this weird buzzing noise. That only made him madder.

He shook it. He banged it. He held it up and looked inside.

A big blob of mac and cheese fell out right onto his face.

Mrs. Browny screamed in terror!

 

Mr. Prince was furious.

Luckily, I have an incredible eye for detail. Otherwise he never would have seen the tiny piece of paper that was stuck to his forehead.

 

I took a closer look.

It said:

Everyone gasped! It was a CLUE!

 

I had to act fast!

I tried to grab the note, but Mr. Prince wouldn’t let me.

Can you believe it, Dad? This is a job for a real private eye! I’ll bet none of these adults have ever solved a crime in their life.

I handed Mr. Prince my new business card. Then I walked away. All I can say is it’s a good thing I was there to help. Without me, things would have been a total mess.

When we got home, Chloe tried to tell Mom what happened. Except she got the story completely wrong! First she said that Mrs. Browny LOST the mac and cheese.

Then she told Mom that I kept interrupting everyone and getting in the way.

 

I know she’s only six, but she should really check her facts before she starts spreading these lies!

I tried to explain what REALLY happened to the mac and cheese, but Mom just told me to go read quietly by myself.

So I guess she doesn’t care about the truth either!

I have to admit I’m a little nervous about this case. I’m the only private eye in the whole school. So everyone is counting on ME to catch the Mac and Cheese Bandit. I only hope I can do it before he strikes again.

All I know is when I do, it will be the greatest day of my entire life!

Love,

PJ