Just Can't Let Go

“Strap on for me. Dominate me.”

James was so fuckable when he asked for it. “Go pick out the one you want me to use,” I told him, knowing he was not getting what he wanted. These intimate sessions were all about Alexis Crystal cashing in on my inheritance.

He held up a four-inch, then a five-inch. Looked back and forth. Chose the shorter one and my black harness.

Eager, he asked, “You want me to put it on for you?”

“No, I’ll do it. Give me a moment.”

He sat on the side of the bed. “I don’t know why I’m so crazy about you.”

Well, there were two reasons in his hands. I scrolled through my Facebook account. Sandara had posted pictures of Ty with Max as though that were their dog. Guess it was hard to give up something that brought you a lot of joy. Ending my relationship with James wasn’t going to be emotionally easy.

It was the control that fueled my feelings. The time was eight in the morning. I locked my phone, put it on the nightstand.

I was going to miss his place. This king-size bed with high posts. The Egyptian thousand thread count sheets. His flat screen on the wall where we watched our porn videos. These two-hundred-dollar pillows that were firm and soft.

“Babe, why do you love me?”

“Come on, Alexis, quit stalling,” he said.

He was right. I was taking my time to get him out of the mood.

We’d get our test results later today. Two years of raw, passionate, and unorthodox sex, it would be senseless for us to use protection now. Why did I let him convince me to take that damn HIV test? What was his purpose?

“Okay, baby, but I’m so hot for you. Do me first,” I told him.

“We did it your way twice yesterday. It’s my turn, sweetheart. Don’t be selfish,” he said.

“Be honest. You want me to do you for the same reason I want you to sex me. You think this is our last rendezvous until this baby is born. You know you can’t ask LA for anal. She’ll think you’re gay.”

Adding base to his voice, he protested, “You know I’m all man. If I were gay, you wouldn’t be carrying my baby.”

“Oh, so now you’re one hundred?” I asked just to piss him off.

Lots of women couldn’t do what I had no problem doing. Their prudish ways were rooted in someone else’s beliefs of how they should live their life. Seeds were planted in the heads of too many people by bishops, pastors, priests, and parents who sinned, too. Some of those standing behind the pulpit were the worst. Like my brother’s uncle. I agreed with Spencer. The man would never get a dime of my father’s money. Spencer wouldn’t either because he didn’t want any of it. Was I wrong for hating my bishop for molesting my brother? If God could forgive him, He would definitely do the same for me for using James.

“If you don’t want to do me, just say so.”

“Give me a minute. I’ma take care of you,” I lied.

Spencer was not gay. James was not gay. Doing my fiancé, ex-man, whatever our status was, now was not the time to bring up LA. I was putting him off, didn’t want to piss him off too much. Needed him to make another deposit of sperm into my vagina.

Stimulating James in the rear gave him explosive orgasms he couldn’t get any other way. I hoped his cuming inside of me one more time would impregnate us. I had to have a baby, not him. Once I inherited my millions, I was letting Chanel go too.

“If the baby is mine, I still want to marry you. I don’t want my child growing up without me. She will know that I love her and I love you, Alexis.”

She? Damn, I almost forgot I told everybody it was a girl.

Lying on my back, I opened my legs. “Prove it.”

Hopefully not for the last time, his lips touched mine. The full experience was what I craved. Oral sex from Chanel was better. James had amazing skills too.

“Take your time,” I whispered.

He peeled my labia apart, softly suctioned my clit ever so gently. A cool waterfall oozed from my clitoris. If I didn’t have an ulterior motive, he could stay down there, put his finger inside me and make me squirt. Gushing in his bed would soak the sheets and require us to relocate to a different room to continue our session. Wasn’t taking a chance on ruining the mood.

“Let me feel your dick inside of me, baby,” I said, scooting toward the headboard.

James kneeled, slid my body to his. He teased me with the head before putting it in. “Sex with you is like a fine wine,” he said, giving me slow, deep strokes until he came.

He gave me what I wanted. I had to renege on my promise to do him. Fucking him would make me spill all of his seeds. Why did Conner have to put that baby clause in his trust?

“You ready to do me?” he asked, handing me the harness.

I held my stomach. “I don’t feel so well. Give me a moment.”

“You want me to get you something?”

“No, I’ll be okay in a few. Oh, can you hand me my cell.”

My phone was on the nightstand. I could’ve gotten it. Asking James made him feel helpful.

“Here you are, sweetheart. You wanna talk about the situation with your brother?”

I sighed. Not this again. “No, I’m not.” What difference would that make? James knew I didn’t know at the time that we were related. “Please don’t ask me again.” Whatever answer James was looking for he’d already concluded in his mind.

“I just need to lay here for a moment. What time do we have to leave for the doctor’s office?”

“In an hour. I’m going to make a BLT sandwich. You want one, sweetheart?”

Touching my stomach, I smiled at him. “We’d love one. Thanks.”

I didn’t pray often but, Lawd, please let me be pregnant with this man’s baby.