Mary’s shift to stay with Adeline was Sunday night through Wednesday morning, then Levi came and stayed until Natalie arrived Friday night. They switched things up when their schedules called for it, but Adeline was never alone. Mary’s mother had offered to help several times, but Mary declined, underplaying how much worse Adeline had grown in the past two weeks. She wouldn’t want anyone else to see her on the bad days.
“How is she today?” Levi walked in the door carrying three books. “She said she wanted some new things to read.”
Mary wiped sweat from her forehead with a tissue, even though it was nice and cool in the house. “She was fine Monday and part of Tuesday night.” She laid her head against Levi’s chest and whispered, “but she didn’t know me last night or this morning.”
He tucked the books under one arm and wrapped the other around her. “We knew this was coming.”
“It’s still hard to watch it happening.” When she started to cry, he held her tighter. They’d decided to hold off on telling their families about their engagement. Right now, their focus was on Adeline.
“Keep a close eye on her, even when she goes to the bathroom. Just stand outside the door or something. She’s walking funny. It’s almost like a sideways walk, and she’s not very steady on her feet.” She paused to dry her eyes with a tissue from her pocket. “She’s not eating much either. Do you think we need to call someone? Do you think we’re doing everything we can for her? What if we’re doing something wrong or making her worse?”
They walked to the couch in the parlor and sat down. “Is she napping?” Levi nodded toward the hallway as he set the books on the coffee table.
“Ya. She’s been asleep for three hours. I keep checking on her.” Mary grabbed his arm. “What if she passes while one of us is here by ourselves?”
“Mary, she will most likely pass when only one of us is here. So far, there haven’t been two of us needed at the same time. Mostly because she’s been able to get around on her own.”
“A part of me wants to be the one here when it happens, holding her hand as she goes to see Percy. But it scares me too. Natalie said she was with her Mimi Jean when she died. She said it was wonderful and horrible at the same time, that her grandma was out of pain and in a better place, but things happen to the body when a person dies.”
“When we think that time is coming, let’s all try to make plans to be here. I know it will be hard on Natalie financially, but she’ll want to be with Adeline. We all will.” Levi kissed her hand, and Mary nodded.
“Hello, lovebirds.” Adeline walked into the room on shaky legs, doing the weird sideways walk. “Mary, are you crying?” Adeline eased into Percy’s chair.
“Ya, we were just talking about Lydia. I’m fine.” She dabbed at her eyes and silently asked God to forgive the lie.
“I think about Lydia too.” Adeline shook her head. “But she was surrounded by those she loved when she went on to the next world.”
Mary’s heart plunged at the thought of anything happening to her sister. She glanced at Levi, then back at Adeline. “Ya. I’m getting ready to leave now, but Levi will be here for the next couple of nights, okay?”
Adeline’s hand twitched like it had a mind of its own, but she didn’t seem to notice. “That will be just fine.”
Levi stood. “I’m going to walk Mary out. But I’ll be right back.”
Mary kissed Adeline on the cheek before she followed Levi to the porch, to a spot where they could see Adeline through the window. Mary kept her back to the window since she was having such a hard time controlling her emotions today.
“It’s like watching her go crazy and die right before our eyes. And you see what just happened in there.” Mary covered her eyes with her hands. “It’s harder than I thought.” She looked back at Levi. “I just remembered that the social worker from the hospital will be here tomorrow, the same lady who came last week when I was here. She left a message on my phone.”
Levi nodded before he kissed Mary again. She then headed to her buggy. As he walked back in the house, he wondered if they’d taken on too much.
Adeline was in Percy’s chair with the three books in her lap.
“You found the books I brought for you.” Levi sat on the couch and took off his hat.
Adeline was wearing her pink robe with matching pink slippers. “Yes, I did.” She turned one over and read the back cover. “I think this is the one for me.”
She’d chosen the one about how to plant a garden. Out of the three he brought from home, that was the last one he thought she would choose. It was an old book of his mother’s. The other two were Christian love stories his sisters had read.
“In the spring, I’m going to plant a garden.” Adeline opened the book with shaky hands. “I’m going to grow tomatoes and herbs.”
“Ya, that sounds gut.” Levi stared at the piano, wondering if it represented good or evil these days. Adeline asked him to play, and he didn’t hesitate. He moved quickly to the bench. Even if it was wrong, he justified the music in an effort not to disappoint her. But, just like before, something was different. He heard the melodies in his mind as clear as ever, and emotions filled his soul, but he felt a detachment from the instrument, almost as if God was reclaiming the gift.
After about fifteen minutes, he stopped playing and looked over his shoulder. Adeline had closed the book. Her eyes were glassy, and both hands trembled.
“I’m having hard time . . . pages turn.” Adeline slurred, misplacing the words.
“Do you want me to read it to you?”
“That would be . . . nice.”
Levi didn’t read a lot, and big words stumped him sometimes, but he went to the kitchen and returned to the parlor with a chair and set it beside her. Easing the book from Adeline’s lap, he turned to the first page and started to read, unsure if she was even hearing him. She stared across the room with a blank look on her face. Her hands shook even more, but Levi kept reading.
His sisters and mother were responsible for the garden, so Levi found the book interesting. Then Adeline started to cry.
“What is it?” He put a hand on her arm. “Adeline, what’s wrong?”
She turned to him as a tear trickled down her face. “I have to go . . . bathroom.”
“Ya, okay. Are you hurting?”
She covered her face with her hands. Levi wasn’t sure what to do.
Keeping his hand on her arm, he asked her again if she was in pain.
She shook her head and finally uncovered her face, streaked with tears, a wild look in her eyes—a fearful look. “I’m telling my legs to move, but they won’t.”
Adeline hated the sight of the wheelchair and walker, and she’d scolded him more than once for trying to help her when she didn’t need it. But now she didn’t resist when Levi stood and put one arm around her back, the other under her knees. He lifted her into his arms as she cried, then buried her face against his chest and latched on to his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a whisper.
Levi kissed her forehead as he blinked back his own tears. “There is nothing to be sorry for,” he said in a voice he’d used to comfort his younger siblings. Then he carried her to the bathroom, determined to handle this in the most dignified way possible. Afterward, he carried Adeline to her bedroom, tucked her in, and sat with her until she fell asleep.
The social worker from the hospice department, who was also a nurse—Janet—came by in the afternoon. Levi filled Janet in as best he could, a knot growing in his throat with each word.
“Levi, you and your friends can change your mind at any time,” she said. “There is no shame in admitting you need help. This must be exhausting for all of you, and painful to see Adeline declining.”
He shook his head. “Nee, we all want her to be at home, and we want to be with her. But how will we know when”—he swallowed hard—“when it’s her time? We all want to be here together.”
They were in the parlor sitting on the couch. Levi never sat in Percy’s chair anymore. He’d motioned for Janet to sit on the couch as well because he didn’t want her sitting there either.
“She’ll stop eating, and she’ll sleep a lot.” Janet waited a few seconds, maybe because Levi was touching the corners of his wet eyes. “Toward the very end, her breathing will become shallow. Adeline has a do-not-resuscitate order on file with the hospital, meaning she doesn’t want to be revived if her hearts stops or she stops breathing.” She reached into her purse. “Here is a list of who to call and in what order when the time comes. Have arrangements been made?”
Levi opened his mouth to answer, but his lip trembled. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Ya. She will be buried next to her husband, Percy. She told us everything was arranged a long time ago, after her husband died.”
Janet nodded. “Good, that is one less thing you kids will have to deal with.”
Levi wanted to tell her they weren’t kids, but since he felt like one at the moment, he didn’t argue. Janet looked to be about his mother’s age, so to her, he guessed they were kids.
“Do you have any questions?” Janet stood.
Levi had a hundred questions, but most of them sounded stupid in his mind. How would they know when she was really gone? Was there a defining moment when she would take her last breath? Would she be in pain? Should they cover her face? Should they leave her in the bed?
In his world, the body was on display for two days, then there was a simple service with no flowers or fancy headstones. The life was celebrated, not mourned, at least not at the funeral where the bishop would speak about the deceased person. Levi had been to Englisch funerals, including Percy’s. They sang hymns, played music, displayed lots of flowers, and held a different kind of ceremony. Natalie would know what to do. So, instead of voicing his worries, he just said, “Nee, I don’t have any questions.”
He ushered Janet to the front door before he went back to the parlor. He picked up the kitchen chair and carried it to Adeline’s room where he set it close to her side of the bed. Quietly, he sat down and watched her breathe. He’d ask Natalie what a shallow breath looked like. But for now, Adeline snored lightly.
Mary was at the bakery Friday morning when Levi called.
“I think you and Natalie should come now.”
Mary’s chest tightened. “Is she . . .”
“Nee, not yet. But a lady came by. She said Janet sent her. She’s a hospice worker, and she said it won’t be long. Days, maybe hours.”
“Okay.” Mary had known this day was coming, and she’d tried to prepare herself for it, but she didn’t feel ready at all.
“Mary, I haven’t been able to get her to eat anything since Wednesday night. And she’s mostly sleeping. She opens her eyes every now and then, but she doesn’t say anything.”
There was a quiver in Levi’s voice. Mary recalled how emotional she’d been when she left Adeline’s house on Wednesday. Coughing a little, she took a deep breath and hoped she could at least sound strong for Levi. Men didn’t normally cry, and Mary had never understood that unspoken rule. They had to feel just as deeply as women.
“I’ll call Natalie.” Mary put down the tongs in her left hand, ended the call with Levi, and turned to her coworker. “I have to go.”
She called a driver to meet her at her house in an hour, then she went home to pack a few things. She thought they might be at Adeline’s for a few days and opted not to take her buggy.
When she walked through the front door, Lydia was sitting alone in the living room. Even though she and Samuel lived in the daadi haus on Samuel’s parents’ property, it was within walking distance for Lydia to visit. And she visited often, staying nearly all day sometimes.
“Where are Mamm and Daed?” Mary set her purse on the rocking chair in the corner. Lydia was slouched on the couch like she’d been there a while. There was an empty plate on the coffee table and half a glass of milk. A copy of the Die Botschaft was on the couch beside her, along with her kapp.
“They went to the bank.” Lydia chewed a fingernail, something she’d always done when she was upset or nervous.
“What’s wrong?” Mary was anxious to get to Adeline’s house, but she was also worried about Lydia.
“Nothing.”
It was the same answer every time Mary asked. She hoped Lydia would eventually open up to her, but now wasn’t the time to get into a long conversation. “Levi called me at the bakery. It’s Adeline . . .” She couldn’t finish her sentence.
Lydia stood up and walked to Mary. “I’m sorry about your friend.” She wrapped her arms around Mary and rested her chin on her sister’s shoulder. Mary wasn’t sure if the hug was for her or because Lydia needed it, but she hugged her sister back. They stayed that way for a while until Lydia eventually let go and went back to the couch.
“You’re sure you’re okay?” Mary asked again.
“Ya. I’m fine.”
Mary studied her sister’s face for a few seconds to see if her expression said otherwise. She couldn’t tell, and she needed to go, so she grabbed her purse and ran upstairs.
She’d called Natalie before she left the bakery. Her phone rang in her purse as she pulled a green dress over her head. The one she’d worn to work was splotched with syrup and flour. Every time her phone rang, her chest tightened. Her only calls were from Natalie and Levi, and each time she worried that Adeline had passed while she wasn’t there.
“What’s wrong?” she asked Levi when she answered.
“I just think you should hurry.”
Mary didn’t even drag her small red suitcase out from under the bed. She grabbed two dresses, underclothes, and her toothbrush, then she ran down the stairs, stopping only to pick up her toothbrush when she dropped it.
“Tell Mamm and Daed I don’t know how long I’ll be at Adeline’s. They’ll understand.”
Lydia nodded. “I will. I’m sorry for your pain.”
“Danki.” She pushed the screen door open and stepped onto the porch. Where is the driver? Please hurry.