Chapter XI

“Her Grace ain’t back yet,” Gracie sneered. “As you should well know. Why, the clock ain’t even struck twelve.”

“Please,” Catherine begged. “Please, Gracie, let me know when she arrives. At any hour, at any time. I shall be waiting, but it cannot wait till morning. I must speak with her this night, whenever she returns.”

Gracie folded her arms over her narrow breasts, an expression of great satisfaction upon her usually grim face.

“It’s Mrs. Grace to you, young woman, and don’t you forget it,” she said slowly, eyeing the trembling young woman. “And Her Grace needs her sleep when she comes in. Why, she usually is so done in, poor soul, that she just tumbles into bed and don’t stir till morning.”

“Mrs. Grace,” Catherine pleaded, “it is of utmost importance. Truly. You must—” And seeing the expression on the older woman’s face, she quickly amended, “Please, please, just tap upon my door when Her Grace returns. I am sure she will want to speak with me as well. I know she will,” she pressed, seeing the indecision on the other’s face.

“All right,” the older woman grumbled. “But don’t be surprised if she sends you off with a flea in your ear. For having a chat with her ‘companions’ ain’t what she’s used to when she comes dragging in after one of them big dos.”

Gracie turned abruptly and closed the door in Catherine’s face smartly. One of those cats got her tail caught in the door at last, she sniffed with contempt as she caught a last glimpse of Catherine’s stricken face. It’s the Lord’s judgment upon all of them wicked females.

Back in her room, Catherine slowly removed her shawl with trembling fingers and sank down upon her bed. Her first thoughts were of self-condemnation. She had dithered, and her selfish, cowardly procrastination had led her to this. For if she had been truly virtuous and truly courageous, she would never have been caught in such a coil. If she had thought herself derelict in remaining in the duchess’s employ, it now seemed that she never really understood the full extent of the danger she had placed herself in.

And yet, she thought, groaning to herself, she should have known. Step by step, her complacence had led her to this, as surely as in any morality tale she had ever suffered through at Sunday sermon. She had accepted all, by slow degree, just as the vicar had warned her. A few months ago, if anyone had told her that soon she would be able to accept as commonplace nightly invitations to strange gentlemen’s beds, she would have been appalled. Or if they had said, straight-faced, that she would have permitted a nobleman’s ardent embrace without deadly shame, or even, in the quick of her soul, welcome it, she would have thought them mad. And perhaps, worst of all, if they had hinted that she would have been able to suffer blithely the reputation of a light-skirts, she would have laughed in their faces. But all of this she had done. And see what it had come to.

One cannot wear the feathers of a bird of paradise without being hunted as one. Why should anyone believe her now? And, she thought, rising and pacing in her agitation, it had gone beyond explanations. For M. Beaumont would not care to hear weak excuses. He had seen her as a cyprian, so he had decided to use her as one. She must speak with the duchess, collect her wages, only a few weeks before time, and go now. For she wondered if even the duchess’s influence could prevent M. Beaumont from going ahead with his plans. And yet a small persuasive voice in the deeps of her soul still whispered that she would not have to leave yet—that she would not have to brave the world alone as she went back to England, that the duchess was still her employer, was still a woman of title and influence, and would still protect her.

It might be, Catherine thought, as she paced her room and listened for every creak in the old hotel walls for the duchess’s return, that now the dowager herself would have had enough and would wish to return home as well. And then Catherine would find the entire incident just a frightening, cautionary false alarm.

So she persuaded herself as she waited; so she consoled herself as the hours ticked by. For she could not face the thought that she was trapped, that her future had been taken out of her own hands.

When the tap came upon her door, Catherine started. It had been so long a wait that she was sure Gracie had not told the duchess after all, out of spite.

Catherine straightened, ran her hands over her hair, licked her lips nervously, and went into the dowager’s rooms. She had practiced her speech, but it died upon her lips as she caught sight of her employer. For the duchess had changed, as if in a moment As if she were some once-vigorous plant that had been touched by the icy finger of winter.

She stood, Gracie hovering by her side, waiting for Catherine. But she seemed not to stand so straight as before, and to be rather oddly shrunken and debilitated. No longer a regal and imperious peeress of the realm, but only an old woman. The icy eyes that had gazed sharply at life and its pleasures seemed watery and weak in the candle’s glow, and when she spoke her voice was querulous and edged with self-pity. Catherine gaped at the transformation. She did not know that it was only that the duchess’s brief late flowering was passed, that her moment of spectacular beauty was over. It had been inevitable, for no beauty remains forever, but its flight had been hastened by terror and anxiety.

“Well, good riddance,” the duchess said, staring at Catherine, but instead of backing the words up with a haughty stare down her long nose, her eyes seemed to waver.

“Your Grace,” Catherine began, recalling herself after the shock of seeing the dowager so transmuted, “there has been a terrible mistake.”

“No mistake,” the duchess said. “You’ve found greener pastures. Can’t blame you. You’re young, with the world ahead of you, and you’ve seen a better chance and grabbed it. Violet told me you would, and she was right. So go, and be demned to you.”

“I don’t want to go,” Catherine cried. “I want to stay with you. M. Beaumont told me that you had agreed to my leaving, but I swear I don’t want to go. I had no idea of what he had in mind. And I want to stay with you. Please tell him that he was mistaken.”

The duchess sank into a chair.

“Why shouldn’t you want to go, eh? He said there would be riches aplenty for you.”

“But Your Grace, please,” Catherine said, going to the duchess and sinking to her knees by her feet, “please listen. You know that I served you faithfully.”

Gracie gave a short bark of laughter.

“No, listen,” Catherine pleaded, “I came as your companion. I didn’t know about Rose and Violet then. And when I discovered they were accompanying you as well, it was too late to turn back.”

Catherine faltered, for how could she claim that the dowager’s two companions were nothing but highly priced prostitutes and that she, knowing all, had not been the same?

“I have been only your companion,” Catherine said fervently. “I have done nothing else, I promise you. I am not right for the life M. Beaumont projects for me. You must know that.”

“I don’t care what my girls do when I’m not about,” the duchess said, turning from Catherine. “I don’t know and I don’t care. What they get up to is their business, so long as they don’t involve me.”

“But I have got up to nothing,” Catherine cried.

“It was a mistake,” the duchess mumbled, “all a great mistake. I should have hired on someone who was up to snuff, who wouldn’t enact such tragedies.”

“But it would be a tragedy for me,” Catherine protested, rising to her feet and staring down at the duchess. “Can’t you see that? Can’t you just tell M. Beaumont that you refuse, that you wish me to stay on with you? I promise to be no further trouble.”

The dowager avoided Catherine’s eyes and instead began to talk rapidly to Gracie.

“I told him I wanted to keep the chit. I told him I was a woman of some influence. I told him that he had colossal nerve to try to dictate to me—the Duchess of Crewe. But he didn’t back down. No, he didn’t. Do you know what he told me? He told me I had no influence in France. That he had power over my life and death. That he could clap me in prison, duchess or no, and leave me there to rot away until my countrymen would extricate me. He told me that soon the English would all be in his power. And when I told him he was speaking fustian—and I did, Gracie, I did, I was so angry at the fellow—do you know what he told me?”

Gracie took the duchess’s hand and soothed her with, Catherine saw in amazement, a look of great contentment upon her homely face.

“He told me,” the duchess whispered, “that I was only a mad old woman. Only a senile old woman of no account. And that after a week or two in his cells I would be less than that. He told me I should be locked up for my own safety. That he had the power to do so. And that by the time my family found out, it would be too late for me. Too late for me! ‘The Duchess of Crewe is a succés fou,’ he said, and then he laughed and said it was no more than the truth, that I was a crazy old woman. And that everyone knew it and laughed at me, as they laugh at inmates in a madhouse. And then he said that that was just the thing! He would put me in a madhouse, and no one would question him at all. He had the power, he said. He does, Gracie, he does.”

“Your Grace,” Catherine said, but at the sound of her voice the duchess turned to her and cried with some of the old power in her voice, “Go, go from me. I never want to see you again. You have brought me nothing but misery. I should never have taken you on. Butter wouldn’t have melted in her mouth, Gracie, I swear it. And now look at her. Begging me to let her stay. I cannot, don’t you see? She will bring me to ruin. He wants her and he shall have her. Gracie,” the duchess quavered, “I shall want to go home now. Yes, I want to go home.”

“Let me come with you,” Catherine begged.

“No, no,” the duchess cried out in a strong voice, “for then he will not let me go. Get away. Get away.”

Gracie marched to where Catherine stood. She placed herself so close to her that Catherine had to back away.

“You stop bothering my lady,” Gracie commanded, suddenly forceful and demanding. “You let her alone. You and the others was nothing but a passing fancy for her, like I always said. She’s come back to her own sweet self now and she wants to be shut of you and your kind. So the gravy boat has docked and you let her alone. I won’t have you battening on her anymore. Take your things and go where you always belonged. To the gutter.” Catherine went white. The hatred in Gracie’s eyes chilled her. There was no hope for her here, not anymore. She thought quickly and pleaded once more, “But if I am to go, please, Your Grace, my wages. For I haven’t enough funds to get home alone. And I have worked for you. Please do not strand me without funds.”

The duchess rose and went to her dressing table. She opened a drawer and with palsied hands withdrew a small box. She took a handful of coins and flung them onto the floor.

“Here, here. Take your money and go. I never want to see you again.”

Catherine went to retrieve the coins and almost stopped and let them lie when she heard Gracie sneer. “It’s the money all right. There’s never enough for her kind.”

Catherine had to swallow back a biting reply and stifle the impulse to leave the money and flee with her self-respect intact. But she knew that self-respect alone would never extricate her from her problem. When she had hastily counted out the amount she knew she had earned, she stood again. There was some satisfaction in noting that she had left the better part of the coins still lying upon the floor.

“I have taken only what was due me,” she said stiffly, “and I am sorry, Your Grace.”

“Get out now,” Gracie commanded, arms akimbo and advancing upon Catherine. “Go and good riddance.” Her voice softened as she looked back to the duchess. “Leave Her Grace to me now. I’ll see her right, just like I always have. I didn’t desert her when she took to the wild fancies she did, and I shan’t leave her now that she’s come back to her senses. But you get out.”

Catherine heard the door slam behind her, and the sound was ominous. If M. Beaumont had such power as to terrify and override a duchess, what chance had she against him? She could not turn to the marquis, although her thoughts had turned to him a dozen times this evening. For if she went to him, he would only think she had at last decided to take up his offer. Somehow, she was sure that he could stand against M. Beaumont, or anyone in the world, for that matter. But to go to him would be to say she was his. Why should he believe otherwise? And in some small part of her mind Catherine knew that if she went to him, she somehow would become his. And even if he then took her to safety, she would then be lost to herself forever, and be in time no less than Rose and Violet. She would have become, no matter how she examined it, or how many excuses for her behavior she invented, a woman who sold herself to a man, and forever beyond the pale of decent people. And she was done with excuses for her outrageous behavior.

She knew she had enough money to reach the coast now. And enough to take a ship to England. But she knew that M. Beaumont would not let her get that far. So she waited for Rose and Violet to return. Now they were her last hope. They were clever and women of the world. Doubtless, they would have some idea of what she could now do.

Dawn was staining the sky with its gray light when Catherine at last heard some movement in Rose’s room. She leaped to her feet and, after gazing anxiously about the empty hall, tapped on Rose’s door.

“Who is it?” Rose whispered.

“Me, it’s Catherine. Oh, Rose, let me in,” she pleaded, suddenly afraid that Rose, too, would deny her.

But when she entered Rose’s room, she saw only her familiar smiling face grow suddenly concerned when she glimpsed Catherine’s ashen countenance in the growing light.

“Whatever is the matter, Catherine?” Rose asked, drawing her to the bed to sit. “You look as if you’d seen a ghost. Never tell me that Her Grace’s heart’s given out? That she’s taken a bad turn and left us? For she looked like death itself when I last saw her. And when I went to her, she just shooed me away and told me to leave her be. I should have stayed,” Rose mourned. “Poor old dear.”

“No, no,” Catherine said, “she’s well. It is something else. Oh, Rose, you must help me. For I’m in desperate case.”

Catherine took Rose’s arm and, feeling the frozen hand which clutched her, Rose stopped chattering and sat quietly while Catherine poured out her story.

“Oh, that’s a rum case,” Rose sighed, when Catherine had done at last. “That’s a fine predicament.”

Rose stood and shook her head and looked consideringly at Catherine.

“You do have a problem, Catherine,” she said, “and I have got to be right out with you, dear. The easiest thing for you to do would be to go with Beaumont. Hervé Richard ain’t a bad sort. He’s clean, and he’s got something blowing in the wind for him. And,” Rose added, absently rubbing her shoulder, where Catherine could now see in the brightening dawn light, there was a fresh set of bruises, “he ain’t got any strange ways about him, so far as I have heard. No, he’s a straightforward chap who wouldn’t want nothing special from you.”

Catherine recoiled and hastily averted her face. The look of horror, however, had not escaped Rose.

“No,” Rose sighed, “I didn’t truly think so. Ah, Catherine, forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It was just an idea, you know. Forget I said it, do. For I know you’re a good girl, and I wasn’t thinking straight. We have just to get you away from here without Beaumont twigging to it, and all will be well. How to do it is the question.”

Rose and Catherine sat silently in the room as the light increased, each thinking alone. When Rose heard a movement from the next room, her face brightened.

“That’ll be Vi. She’s just the one. She’s far more longheaded than I, and she’s a wonder at getting herself out of tight corners. I’ll just go get her.”

Before Catherine could look up from her miserable contemplation of the carpet, Rose had fled the room, and before a few more moments had passed, she returned with a tired-looking Violet in tow. In the fresh light of morning, Violet’s dramatic orange costume seemed tawdry, and her carefully made-up face seemed blurred and exhausted.

“Here she is,” Rose sang. “Oh Vi, we need your help, for our Catherine’s got herself into a terrible problem.”

Violet turned her weary smudged eyes toward Catherine’s woebegone form.

“If she’s gotten herself in the basket,” Violet yawned, “she’s just got to turn round and go home. She can’t be increasing in the duchess’s employ. The old girl don’t want a squalling brat on her hands.”

“Oh Vi,” Rose cried, genuinely staggered, “you know better. Catherine ain’t in the family way. And she don’t want to be in the game, neither, and that’s the problem.”

Violet flung herself upon the bed and lay so still while Rose explained Catherine’s situation that Catherine feared she had fallen asleep. But when the tale was done, she opened her eyes and looked at Catherine narrowly.

“You want to skip out, then?” she asked.

“I must,” Catherine said. “But how? And I must do it now, for Beaumont will be here to collect me by nightfall. But how shall I go in broad daylight?”

“It’s not impossible,” yawned Violet. “I’ve done it myself. Remember in London, Rose, when that poxy viscount was after me?” She laughed. “I made a monkey out of him, didn’t I?”

Rose nodded eagerly. “So you did, Vi, but this is Paris, and Catherine and I ain’t so wise as you. What’s she to do now?”

Violet studied Catherine’s abjectly sorrowful face. Her thoughts raced behind her sleepy facade. So the Richard lout was about to come into riches and wanted a fine English female? Well, she’d do just as well to console him when he’d lost the one he had his heart set on, wouldn’t she? She watched Catherine—she had nothing against the girl, but business was business, and it wouldn’t suit her to stick her neck out and defy Beaumont. But if there was some profit to be made from the girl’s disappearance, well, there were no flies on Violet. The problem was, she thought, how to get the chit safe away without Beaumont twigging to the fact that she’d helped. After a moment she smiled.

“Rose, you goose. The answer’s plain as the nose on your face. Catherine, do you take those things you find necessary, and only a few things at that. Here, wait a tick,” she said, suddenly galvanized, and the two other women stared at her in wonder as she leaped up and ran lightly to her room.

She returned in a few moments. “Here,” she said, placing a worn portmanteau at Catherine’s feet. “I always carry it in case I have to skip fast. It’s old and battered, but it won’t attract attention.”

Catherine looked at the worn case and had to agree. Indeed, it looked as though it had been used in the days of Violet’s grandmother.

“Now you take only a little with you, and when you’ve all secured, act sharp, because time isn’t on your side. Then, you come back here. And then, Rose, you take Catherine down to the stables. James is there, and he’s a right caution. What he don’t know about Paris, the Frogs themselves don’t know. He’s a game ’un and up to anything. And if your pretty face don’t tempt him to help, Catherine, your good gold coins will. For he’s always on the lookout to make some extra. And he don’t like foreigners above half. Now shoo, go to it, Catherine, time is wasting.”

Catherine fairly flew to her room and collected those few items she felt necessary. She left all her fine dresses and bonnets and slippers without a backward glance, only taking those few dresses she had originally come to the duchess with. She flung toothbrush, hairbrush, and underthings into the portmanteau.

When she was done, she hurried back to Rose’s room.

“Good,” Violet smiled. “Now Rose, you take her down the servants’ stairs and James’ll do the necessary.”

Rose paused and then asked, “Catherine, let me see your purse.”

Dutifully, Catherine handed it over to her.

“Oh, this will never do,” Rose cried, “for you’re a pauper. Look, Vi, how far can she go on this?”

Rose hurriedly went to a box in her closet and came back with coins that she poured into Catherine’s purse above her horrified protests. “No, no,” Rose said adamantly, “I couldn’t sleep nights thinking of you starving in a ditch. We’re friends, aren’t we?” she asked, suddenly stopping and looking hard at Catherine.

To refuse Rose’s money, Catherine realized, would be to deny her friendship.

“So we are Rose,” she whispered, “and I am grateful. Someday I hope to pay you back.”

Satisfied, Rose nodded sharply. “Here, Vi, open the coffers. For you’re fast with advice, but tight with your purse. What do you want Catherine to think?”

With ill grace, Violet left, to come back and add her mite to Catherine’s growing treasure. “But understand,” Violet said quickly, “if anything goes amiss, you’re not to prattle about where you got the funds.”

Catherine smiled bitterly and met Violet’s worried eyes. “Do you think M. Beaumont will wonder at my riches?” she asked.

Violet seemed satisfied, but she added, “And I hope you’ll not cry rope at us, if he does find you. Do you promise to leave us out of it?”

“Of course,” Catherine said softly. “But I think if he does find me, he won’t care how I failed or who helped me fail.”

“But you won’t fail, Catherine,” Rose said quickly. “For James is as sharp as he can be. We’ll have to think of something Catherine can wear to escape notice, Vi,” she added, biting her lower lip.

“Leave it to James, Rose,” Violet answered. “He’s up to all the rigs. Now get her out of here. And then I’m to bed. For I’m worn out.”

Rose bustled ahead to the door, to see if any servants or guests were in the corridor.

“Half a mo,” she said cheerily, like a little girl up to some midnight pantry raid, “I’ll go ahead and check out the stairs to see if all’s clear.”

“Violet, I thank you,” Catherine said softly, when they were alone, “for I know it’s a dangerous thing for you to do. And I know that you never really approved of me.”

“I like things straightforward,” Violet murmured, suddenly less bored. “And it may be, Catherine, that I don’t like being constantly reminded what I am by some great-eyed innocent girl. It’s well enough with Rose, and the gentlemen I accompany. And the old duchess is daft anyway, you know. But it just may be that I like to think of myself as only a clever businesswoman, and I don’t care for the constant presence of someone who is so very much aware of what a bad business mine is. You don’t hide your thoughts too well, you know. And while I’ve come to terms with myself a long while ago, you keep reminding me of what I am and where I’m undoubtedly going. I wished to be an actress once, and the trick of being a good actress is to believe in your part. You shake that belief, Catherine, and I don’t mind telling you, I’ll be relieved when you’re gone.”

“Thank you anyway, Violet,” Catherine said, wondering whether she should give the older woman a farewell embrace, for wherever she herself was headed, she did not think they would, in any case, ever meet again. Violet settled the matter by taking Catherine’s hand and shaking it.

“Good luck,” she said simply, and then, with a smile, she added, “and stay away from wicked companions in the future.”

“Come, come, don’t just stand there, Catherine,” Rose whispered in exaggeratedly conspiratorial tones. “Time is wasting. Come, come, let’s go, for the stair is clear.”

Violet lifted an eyebrow in Rose’s direction and said with some asperity, “Stop looking so sneaky, Rose. You’d make anyone suspect you of anything. It’s a good job you never tried for the stage. Good-bye, Catherine, keep a good thought.” And then she gave a tremendous yawn. “Lord, I’m beat. I think I’ll sleep the afternoon away, and if anyone knocks upon my door, they’ll see that I haven’t done a thing but sleep since I returned. I haven’t seen a thing, I haven’t done a thing. Just like you, Rose, just like you.”

“To be sure.” Rose tittered in her excitement. “And where dear Catherine’s got to, how should we know? We’ve been just two sleeping beauties, haven’t we? Come, Catherine, the time is right.”