In the lowcountry, the sun didn’t ask permission to burn through the glass and wake a girl up even at two in the afternoon—and remind her to swap up the scattered pieces of her heart.
Lying belly down on the futon, cheek against her pillow, Elle saw the blue-and-white day march past her window. Mr. Miller’s hounds bayed. A mower hummed over someone’s yard of spring grass.
Six days ago, her future had been set—marry Jeremiah, move to Dallas. But a simple “I can’t marry you now, Elle” had wrecked her plans, her hopes, a little of her identity.
Tossing off the sheet and thin summer quilt, Elle walked the sun-drenched floor to shove open the windows and flipped on the fans. The window air conditioner had frozen up in the night, leaving the loft hot and stuffy.
A scented breeze slipped through the screen. One thing Elle counted on: each new day bringing its own brand of anesthesia— hope. Elle leaned against the windowsill and inhaled, the day sweet and warm.
Mama and Daddy had been great, taking care of all the cancellation details, bringing her food, pretending she might be hungry.
What she hated the most? Feeling trapped by Jeremiah’s actions and her own emotions. She had to stir herself up.
The sound of a chainsaw nabbed her attention. Across the yard, down the slope to the creek, a shirtless Heath stood before an oak stump, protective gear on his head, chainsaw gripped in his hand.
The lawyer was a wood carver? She’d watched wood-carving artists at shows, enthralled.
His taunt, broad back was reddish brown from recent days in the sun, and his winter blond was gradually becoming a summer gold. The ends of his hair stood on end from where he must have jumbled it with his hands.
Finally, he revved the motor again and bit into the wood. Sawdust flew around him like a gazillion blond gnats. The fragrance of warm wood filtered through the studio screen.
Elle’s stomach rumbled. And she needed a shower. Leaving the window, half thinking she should do something with the rest of her day, take a step into the rest of her life, she booted up her laptop.
When she launched the Internet, her home page routed to a default. Just another reminder. She’s taken down GG Gallery’s Web page.
Surfing over to e-mail, she saw her Inbox contained over a hundred messages with subject lines like, “Sorry to hear” and “Praying for you.” She read a few, but found them too depressing, so she skimmed the names until she found one that made her smile.
Caroline Sweeney. Today she needed her friend, even if she lived thousands of miles across the Atlantic.
To: Elle Garvey
From: CSweeney
Subject: I’m with you in spirit
Your dad e-mailed me about you and Jeremiah. Elle, I am so sorry! If I was there, I’d beat him up for you. What is he thinking? He’ll never find anyone as beautiful, talented, and kind as you. He just won’t.
This morning I read a notice in the online Gazette about the wedding being canceled. Canceled? Isn’t that a strange thing to say of two people’s lives and relationship? Baseball games are canceled. Cable television is canceled. Not a marriage.
Elle, I’m grieving with you, wishing I had ten-thousand-mile-long arms to reach you for a hug.
Daddy ran a notice in the Gazette? What was he–Oh, forget it, Elle.
It must seem like the world is ending, but wait and see what God will do. He must have something wonderful in mind.
Listen to me talk, the baby in God. Yet I’ve learned so much about trust and faith living in Barcelona. God has enabled me to do a job for which I had no training or qualifications. When I see my reflection in the mirror, it is the only part of me that looks and feels the same. If you’d have told me a well of confidence dwelt under the soil of my soul, I’d have never believed you.
The leap of faith I took to come here showed me who He created me to be.
I’m so convinced, even on the hardest days, He loves me, He’s for me, and is intimately acquainted with every detail of my life.
I look forward to what God has for you, Elle. I know, I sound like I’m speaking Christianese. But can I help it all the good truths of God got labeled? He does love you. He does have good for you. I believe it.
In your dad’s e-mail, he indicated it was Jeremiah’s doing, but I believe it was God’s. Don’t be mad at me for saying it. If we were sitting with you in Luther’s or the Frogmore Café, I’d say this to your face, I’m that sure.
I’m praying for you. If Jeremiah is yours, he’ll return. And you’ll welcome him. If he’s not, you wouldn’t want to be married to him. Trust God, Elle. After all, He IS love.
Since this new development, I changed my trip home to be later in the summer. There’s so much going on here. Please consider coming to Barcelona for a visit. I’d love it and you can go to the beach every day, relax, read, pray, whatever. Paint. Elle, there’s so many wonderful scenes and places to inspire you.
Mitch is coming next week. I really miss him. I don’t know how much longer we can wait to be together. We’re praying about what’s next for us.
I love you, my dear friend. You’re a jewel in my heart.
Always, Caroline
Elle wiped the tears from the edge of her jaw. I love you too, Caroline.
Julianne burst into the studio without a knock or “Woo-hoo, are you decent?” Elle was dozing on the futon, her pajama bottoms twisted and a sock on one foot. So far, her decision to venture out had ended at the computer.
“You look like crap.”
Elle opened one eye. Julianne hovered over her, hands on her narrow waist. “Don’t let the door slam on your way out.”
“Get up.” She tugged on Elle’s arm. “We’re going out to eat, get something greasy and fattening.” Julianne picked a pair of jeans and a top off the floor, sniffing them. “Are these clean?”
“Being as I’ve only worn what I have on for the last week, I’d say yes.”
“Good. Get in the shower.” Julianne tossed the clothes to the futon. “Don’t you have a closet in here? A chest of drawers?”
“No, I wasn’t planning on being here that long. Jules, I don’t want to go out”—Elle managed to sit up—“where people know. Did you see Dad ran an ad? In the paper? People will frown and bend their heads together, whispering, ‘Poor Elle, couldn’t hold on to her man.’”
“Who cares? You need to get out of this place, Elle. It smells and I’m concerned for you health. Besides, Rio wants to see you.”
Elle arched her brow. “Really? Where is she?”
“Down in the yard with Tracey-Love. She’s a sweet girl.” Julianne peered out the window. “I saw him without a shirt.” She glanced at Elle with an arched brow. “Somebody visits the gym.”
“Don’t arch your brows at me. If you like him, go for it. I think he’s divorced or something.”
“Are you going to let him stay in the cottage now that you’re not moving?” Julianne waved Elle’s jeans in her face. “Into the shower. Go.”
Her feet hit the floor in a slow start. The earlier rumble in her stomach had morphed into hunger pangs. “He paid his rent in advance. And I don’t know why I should mess up his life because of mine. If he was alone, maybe, but I can’t do it to Tracey-Love.” Elle stood without moving, clutching her jeans to her chest. “Besides, I have no visible means of support. Might as well have my mortgage covered until I figure where to open a new gallery. Oh, Jules, Angela Dooley is in my prime spot.”
“You shouldn’t have sold.”
“She said after the fact. Not helping, Jules.”
Julianne placed her hands on Elle’s shoulder and turned her toward the small bathroom. “You can always stay at Mama and Daddy’s, have the upstairs all to yourself.”
Elle peeked over her shoulder. “And you don’t live there because . . .”
“All right, it was just an idea. If I lived there, you know Mama would take over Rio. What about living with Sara Beth? She and Parker have that large spare room.”
“It’s for Parker’s mother when she comes. Besides, it smells like menthol and moth balls.”
Instead of walking for the shower, Elle sat on the futon, her legs feeling weak.
Julianne sat next to her. “Does it hurt real bad?”
“Only when I’m awake. Thankfully, that hasn’t been much lately.” She collapsed against Julianne. “The pain comes and goes. The night Jer called things off, this giant peace came over me. I’ve been searching for that same security ever since, asking God to help me.” But on days like today, when she was tired and weak, it was hard. “C-can you pray for me, Julianne?”
“Me?” Julianne’s shoulder stiffened under Elle’s cheek. “You’re asking the wrong sister. Sara Beth or Mary Jo, even Candace, but me? No, no, no. I’m sure God doesn’t want to hear from me.”
Elle sighed and lifted off the futon. “I’ll go shower.”
“Wait, Elle.” Julianne grabbed Elle’s arm. “I’ll do it. For you. Elle sat, closing her eyes, molding her hand with Jules’s.
“God, um,” Julianne breathed in, then out. “Wait, Elle, come on, I can’t . . .”
“You can.” Elle squeezed her hand.
“I feel so . . . silly.”
“Maybe this isn’t about you. Please, Jules, a short prayer, for me.”
God, a-hem, Julianne here on behalf of my sister. Could You please be with her, fill the hole in her heart, remind her that You love—”
As Elle listened to her sister’s halting but heartfelt words, peace began to swirl in and around her. She felt light and free, as if she were melting. She pressed her toes against the studio floor to keep from sliding right off the futon. Julianne might not believe in the power of her prayers, but Elle certainly did.
When Julianne said, “Amen,” Elle lifted her head but kept her eyes closed.
A Presence hovered in the room. Elle felt a cool breeze whisper past her feet. Next to her, Julianne breathed deep and steady.
“Elle?”
“Yeah?” The studio atmosphere was like dipping in a cool blue pool of water on a hot summer day. Elle wanted to soak as long as she could.
“Do you feel something?” Julianne shivered.
“Peace.”
“More than peace?”
“Maybe.” A hot gust of wind hit the window’s screen. Elle peeked from under her lowered eyelids. Papers rustled across the work table. A cone of sunlight formed a circle on the dull hardwood.
Elle saw it first, then Julianne. A small white feather appeared out of nowhere, riding the studio’s breeze, drifting through the golden light.
“Elle.”
“I see it.” Elle let go and slipped off the futon, picking the soft white plume off the floor.
“Where’d it come from?”
Elle glanced up Julianne, who leaned away from the mysterious feather, looking this side of freaked. “I have no idea.”
“I’m out of here.” Jules went for the door. “I’ll be in the car. Hurry up.”
The breeze settled and the studio air returned to normal. Elle set the curious feather on the worktable, knowing in a weird, unique way, God had stopped by.
To: CSweeney
From: Elle Garvey
Subject: I’m doing well
Caroline,
I’m alive, hurting, but healing. Takes more than being dumped by my fiancé to kill me. Ha. In all your born days did you ever imagine this happening to any of us? To me?
I didn’t.
My heart is heavy, wondering where it all went wrong. But I’m pulling myself together, slowly. Right now, sleeping and watching movies at Mama and Daddy’s is my prescription.
I haven’t had this much time on my hands since the summer before seventh grade.
There’s a Yankee comeya with a four-year-old daughter renting the cottage. His grandpap was a benya so he’s returning to his roots. He’s a widower, not sure how or why or when.
Enough about me. Tell me about you and Mitch, and Barcelona. And hey, tell buddy-o-pal Hazel I said hey and she owes me an e-mail.
Much love, Elle
Under the low glow of the living room lamp, Heath settled down in the club chair with his laptop and propped his legs on the ottoman.
Nights were best for writing, away from the distractions of the day. Already he wondered if he could ever go back to his hectic schedule at Calloway & Gardner.
Four-year-olds made for great company. Today he and Tracey-Love had taken a long walk, colored, talked about learning to fish, and picnicked by the creek. Her stutter had not yet softened and he could tell it frustrated her. But as she healed from Ava’s death, Heath believed the stutter would too.
He glanced at the sofa. At seven o’clock, the little girl slept in an S shape on the cushions, the tip of her wrinkled thumb touching her lips.
Shifting his gaze from TL to the laptop screen, Heath tried to focus on his story. As much as he liked to pretend, books didn’t write themselves. Nate had texted him twice during the day: “How’s it going?” followed by “I could use a few chapters.”
It’s been, what, a few weeks? Absently, Heath drummed his fingers against the keys, mulling over an opening line. Hemmingway said all he had to do was write one true sentence, then go from there. Easier said than done.
His arms were sore from wielding the chainsaw, carving out his angel. He hadn’t carved since his last visit to the lowcountry the year before Granddad died. He wasn’t sure where the unction had come from to take it up again, but Heath loved the release of physical work. Somehow, carving skimmed away another layer of the dull pain around his heart and found the fresh surface of hope. Day by day, he was starting to believe he could be happy again.
Tracey-Love shivered and moaned. Heath arched forward and snatched the afghan from the back of the couch and draped it over her. The early spring evenings were damp and cool.
Back to his blank page, Heath searched for the story brewing beneath. Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts wander. A picture of Granddad, a man of many adventures and stories, floated past his mind’s eye. Stationed in the Aleutian Islands during the war, he’d flown P-36s and P-40s for the Army’s 11th Air Force.
He’d been a tall, athletic, good-looking flyer with lots of charisma. When Heath was about fifteen, Granddad came to New York for an 11th Air Force reunion and invited Heath to tag along. That evening, Heath learned his granddad’s exploits extended beyond taming the wild brush of Edisto Island.
Into his college years, Heath made a hobby of collecting and reading World War II books.
The first hint of a story settled in Heath’s mind based on two of his loves, Granddad and history.
The Alaskan day was cloaked in its usual darkness and the few hours of light that dawned midday barely disturbed the hovering canvas of night. Captain Chet McCord of the 18th Pursuit Squadron entered the mess hall on Elmendorf Air Base, grabbed a dark mug of joe, and straddled a chair at one of the card tables.
“Tired, Captain?” asked First Sgt. Lipton in charge of the ground crew. He winced at his cards and tossed them to the table. “I got nothing.”
Yes, Chet was tired.
“They keep you boys flying, don’t they?” Lipton again.
“Can’t let the Japs catch us on the ground.” Chet sipped the coffee, then made a face. It had to be three days old. He’d give a month’s pay for his mama’s coffee.
Since the Japanese had bombed Pearl, “Yellow Peril” rocked the northwest, including Alaska and the Aleutians Islands. Bogus wave radio reports about a U.S. invasion kept citizens on edge and the Army Air Corps flying.
(Note to self: do more research on the army’s position tactics in the Northwest.)
Across the mess hut, a boyish, carefree flyer from Oklahoma stood on a chair, pounding his palm.“All right, who has news from home? Come on, somebody, something, anything.”
“Sit down,Wilkins. Stop tormenting the boys with your ugly mug. You know nobody has a recent letter from home.”
Lieutenant Wilkins wasn’t easily deterred. “Then who has old news from home? Stone, didn’t you have a girl writing you regular?Alice whatshername, right? Long legs, Betty Grable figure.”
Sgt. Stone shuffled cards. “Found herself an officer at the USO.”
A few of the boys patted his shoulder.“Sorry, Stone.”
“What about you, Captain McCord?” Stone shifted the attention away from himself. “Someone’s always writing you.”
“Yeah.” Wilkins jumped off the chair. “Aunt Bess. Did she send you any cake lately?”
The men erupted with laughter. Aunt Bess was a camp legend.But not for her cake—for her face.
Wilkins circled the table, bringing the new recruits up to speed.“Boys, Aunt Bess ain’t like my Aunt Bess.” He formed an hourglass in the air with his hands. “Not a sweet little old lady, stooped over with a few teeth missing. No sir, McCord’s Aunt Bess is a smart, good-looking doll with perfect teeth and hair like the rays of sun over the wheat fields. But she’s the worst cook this side of the Mississippi. Sent us a cake once and we all ended up calling for the medic. Chet, I heard CINPAC is thinking of commissioning her cookies to fire at the enemy.”
“What do you say, McCord? Any news from Aunt Bess?” called a private across the room.“I’d kill for one of her cookies.”
More laughter. Chet surveyed the boys, leaning back in his chair.“Not a word, not even a crumb of rotten cake.”
A debate started. Who would go back home and win Bess’s heart, overlooking her lack of cooking skills? “I’d marry her. Don’t care if she can’t cook,” determined a flyer from the back of the hut.
“You’ll have to get in line behind me, Downs.” This from Wilkins.
As an icy blast shook the hall, Chet hunkered down over his coffee, listening to the men argue over marrying a girl they’d never meet.
Heath reviewed his prose. Not bad. Maybe passable. He liked the escape of writing about another place and time, incorporating his love of history and heroes like his granddad.
Talk to me, Chet McCord. What’s it like up there in the cold, frozen Aleutians?
A small, distant crash snapped Heath’s attention. Looking up, he listened. Another crash. Louder this time. Shoving his laptop to the ottoman, he stood with a glance at Tracey-Love. She slept undisturbed. Crash, again. Who was breaking glass? Heath eased in the direction of the sound.
Crash. A high-pitched yell. Heath peered out the sink window, where Ava’s letter still waited, and through the blueish-orange twilight caught Elle firing objects at the garage wall just under the studio’s stairs. Something white and glistening exploded like porcelain fireworks and fell into the tall grass.
She bent to a box for another item. Heath squinted. A gravy boat? She lunged it, but this time the piece barely broke in two. He stepped outside and hollered from the deck.
“You throw like a girl.”
Without breaking rhythm, Elle whipped another piece through the air. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am a girl.”
Yeah, he’d noticed. Too much. First time since Ava’s death he’d noticed a woman. He eased her way, carefully, in case she got a wild hair and decided to lob something at him. A white-and-rose teapot popped against the block wall, cracked in two, and thudded to the ground.
“Put more shoulder into it,” he offered.
“Of all the possible renters in the world, I get Roger Clemens?”
Elle picked up a round platter and flipped it like a Frisbee, smashing it into pieces. “Satisfied?”
“Better, Garvey. Much better.” He angled over to see her face.
“What are you doing?”
“What’s it look like?” She Frisbeed another plate.
Heath smiled when it hit. She was getting a rhythm. “Breaking dishes? But why?”
Stopping to catch her breath, Elle stared up at him, then pitched a petite vase.
Heath stood aside, gaining understanding. He’d been in the same place, grief iced with anger. He’d wanted to smash a few things, but in the end couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d given up too much to waste the things he and Ava had shared together. In many ways, things were all he had left to help him remember.
Elle side-armed a teacup. Good smash, nice tinkling resonance. “Remind me not to let Tracey-Love run around here barefoot.”
“I’ll shop vac later.”
“Is this making you feel better?” he asked. The exercise didn’t appear to be relieving her of anything, only fueling her anger.
“No, actually, it isn’t.”
“Are you destroying wedding gifts?”
“Sort of.” She kicked the box. “Things I’ve collected over the years. Stupid things . . .” Her voice faded into a watery quiver.
“I’m sorry, Elle.” Heath slipped his hands into his jeans pocket and just waited for her to go on. Throw another stupid thing or walk away.
“Why do girls want to be married so badly? Stupid, isn’t it?” She wiped a light sheen of sweat from her forehead.
“No. And don’t fool yourself; men want to be married just as much, if not more. Love and commitment are wonderful things.”
Elle eyed him through blowing strands of her hair. “Is there a pile of broken china in your past? Lying on some New York lawn?”
Beautiful and perceptive. He was noticing her more every time they talked. “I can relate to your pain and frustration, Elle.”
“You know what bites me most? I’m literally left with nothing while Jeremiah sits in his fancy Dallas pastor’s office.” She shoved the box again with her foot. “No husband, no gallery, no cottage, no life.”
“Say the word and we’ll move, Elle.”
“I can’t do that to you and Tracey-Love. Besides, you’re paying my mortgage. Thank you very much.”
“So maybe this whole breakup scene is a great opportunity instead of a horrible problem.”
“Oh, crud, you’re one of those glass-half-full guys.” Elle fluttered her fingers at him. “Well, move on, there’s nothing to see here. All the glasses are emp-tee.”
He regarded her for a second, then, “Ever watch your soul mate sleeping in a casket? Ever watch the person who caused your heart to skip a beat be lowered into the ground with the preacher declaring, ‘Ashes to ashes’?”
Elle’s green gaze faded from impatience to concern and lingered on his face. “No, I haven’t.”
“Ever wake up feeling helpless and frightened, reaching for someone who’s not there but should be. Ever wake up racked with guilt because you wonder if you’d just said no, or been more assertive, the one you love would be alive?”
Understanding blossomed across her face. “Heath, I’m so sorry. Here I am whining and complaining over a short-lived engagement. How long has she been gone?”
“Almost eight months.”
“So you came here for more than writing a book.”
“Yes. Needed a change, a break, a way to jump-start our lives and heal.”
Elle slipped her arms around his waist, hugging him softly. “May you find it at Coffin Creek.”
Caught off guard, Heath’s arms hung at his side for a long second. It’d been so long since he hugged another woman. But when he felt she was about to step away, he slipped his arms around her shoulders.
“Same to you, Elle. Same to you.”