*“You mentioned having fun with a side of pleasure,” Bodhi said, finally dragging himself away from kissing her until they both lost their minds.
“I’m indulging both at the moment,” she said, her lips swollen from his kisses. Her eyes sparkled and her skin was flushed a beautiful pink all along her collarbone. Her long-sleeve shirt had already been discarded in the grass along with his T-shirt she’d all but ripped off to his surprise and approval.
Nico didn’t seem to be able to keep her hands off his chest, and he was having the same challenge with hers. He’d always been highly sexual, but Nico shot him into a whole different stratosphere.
“I think we’re nailing fun and pleasure,” Nico noted playfully.
“Did you bring a swimsuit like I suggested?”
“I didn’t bring one with me, and the western wear store where I bought my clothes for the week didn’t have any,” she admitted. “Besides, I’m sure the water is cold.”
“Lucky me,” he said. “Skinny-dipping, it is. I’ve always wanted to do that here. A teenage fantasy checked off.” He kicked off his boots.
“Bodhi Ballantyne.” She put her hands on her hips while her voice was stern though her eyes brimmed with amusement. “Don’t try to fool me that you haven’t brought dozens of girls and then women to this so-called swimming hole. I doubt much swimming happens here.”
“Swimming is all that’s happened here as far as I know,” he said, his hands stopped at his belt buckle. “I’ve been with a lot of women, Nico.” He wouldn’t try to deceive her about that or anything if he could ever help it. “But I’ve never brought a woman to the ranch. Not ever.”
“Why?” Her demeanor changed, and she took a step toward him.
He suddenly felt on very shaky ground. “I…” He had to swallow hard as his spit had all but dried up. “My cousins and I grew up in Denver. We only came to the ranch for the summers, Christmas and some school holidays. When we were here, it was all about family, working with Granddad, learning the life. Later, in college and on the tour, I came alone or with my cousins. I had a lot of women,” he admitted again, and why couldn’t he just shut up about that? “But never anyone special. Beck’s brought Ashni a bunch of times of course. And sometimes a group of kids from the summer rodeo program would all pile in trucks and come out, but I haven’t brought a woman alone here, ever, and I don’t think Bowen has either.”
“Why me?”
“Because,” he avoided, feeling eight again and up against his mother or a teacher or the principal. “We’re…” He struggled to find the right word. One that was true but didn’t reveal too much.
“We’re pretending,” she said filling in the void. “But sometimes it starts to feel a little real. We’re having fun and getting to know each other, and you might want to protect yourself even as you try to protect me, Bodhi.”
Admiration swelled. She’d just laid it out there.
“I’ve never had anything special,” she admitted. The late-afternoon breeze kicked up and started to roll down Copper Mountain, ruffling her hair. “You have the ranch. It’s you. I can tell the ranch is sacred, Bodhi. You don’t have to share all these special places of your past and your heart just to make your plays in the Rodeo Bride Game. We can do things together in town. It seems pretty easy to start rumors and gossip there. People are friendly and like to chat. I probably already got a few stories started,” she confessed.
“I want you here,” he said starkly. “I want you on the ranch. With me.”
She saw too much. Stripped him bare.
“Why?”
She wanted to understand him in a way he didn’t want to be understood.
Bodhi took the coward’s way out and ripped off his buckle and shucked off his jeans in one easy move. And why not? He was an expert taking off his clothes, and a lot of times he didn’t even bother to do that. He turned from her and, naked, cleaved into the welcoming arms of the swimming hole.
*
Such a fascinating, complicated man.
She’d scared him.
He scared her.
And wasn’t that what she wanted, to face down her fears and her doubts and live an honest, purpose-filled life? She hadn’t yet found her new purpose, but if she could slay a few ghosts—hers and Bodhi’s—and gain a new perspective on life, learn to be more comfortable with her body and enjoy sex, no way would she back down from that.
Bodhi surged up, shaking his sleek head. She’d not really seen him without his Stetson. He had dark hair, and now that it was wet and slicked back from his face, it looked even longer than she’d initially thought.
“Planning to join me?”
“Is it cold?” Of course it was. Every nerve ending in her body shivered in protest.
“The river is, but the water rolling down here from that grouping of boulders above us is part of an underground hot springs network, so it heats up the swimming hole. It’s not a hot tub, but in summer it’s like a heated pool, and if you swim close to the rocks it’s like a bath.”
“Promise?”
He grinned. That quick smile had probably shed a lot of panties over the years. “All that experience is going to be a boon to me this week,” she said under her breath, her core clenching hard just remembering what he could do with one hand.
“You cursing me?” he asked good-naturedly.
“I might be soon.” She struggled a little getting off her boots. Her clothes were easy, but she wasn’t quite ready to go naked. Her bra and panties matched and had been expensive and likely not designed for river swimming in who knew what burbling out of the ground. Hopefully, nothing nasty enough to dissolve French designer lace lingerie.
“You are a beautiful sight.” Bodhi strode toward her, clearly more comfortable with his nakedness than she was with hers. “A cowgirl Aphrodite.”
“Hopefully not as fickle or desperate for worship that I smite you.”
“You deserve the worship.” He reached her and held her hand to help her into the water.
It wasn’t nearly as chilly as she’d expected.
“The stones on the bottom are pretty smooth,” he said. “And it’s deep enough in this bend that we can swim.”
He didn’t tease her about keeping her bra and panties on, and he expertly wrapped her hair up in a bun and secured it with the elastic he’d taken from her braid earlier.
“Look at your hair skills,” she teased. “You’ve done buns before.”
“No,” he said, considering. “I haven’t. But I’ve seen Ashni twist her hair up in different types of buns with nothing to secure it thousands of times over the years. She plays with her hair a lot. It’s even longer than yours.”
“Good thing you’re observant.” She’d found the perfect position in the swimming hole—her back to the rocks so the hot water heated her behind and Bodhi heated her in front. “You can use your skills when you have daughters and have to secure their perfect sleeked-back buns for ballet class.”
If she hadn’t been watching him so closely, she wouldn’t have noticed the pain that flashed in his eyes. Or the way he shut down the rush of emotion so fast. He’d done that before. Bodhi Ballantyne had a lot of secrets—maybe even more than her. And he was a lot better at hiding what he felt than she was.
“You don’t want kids?” she asked. She wasn’t fishing. It was a normal question for people in their age range.
“I always wanted a big family,” he said. “I was so close to my cousins, and I figured we’d all settle on the ranch, but then later, I didn’t think it was a possibility,” he said, which sounded strange to her. Maybe he had a medical condition she had no right to pry into. Clearly, it didn’t hinder his sexual performance. Or maybe it did. Maybe he was all mouth no action, like the few men she’d let a relationship get that far with.
Wouldn’t that be poetic justice? She finally found a man who totally turned her on, but he couldn’t… She didn’t even want to finish that thought.
“Because you were still in love with Ash? You thought you’d never find another woman to love?”
Still an attorney with the prying questions.
“Ash is Beck’s,” he said. “She has been from the start. I never once dreamed of changing that.”
Pink colored his cheeks. Anger or embarrassment?
“But you said they were having problems.”
Potentially leading the witness.
“He loves her. Absolutely. She’s his world.”
“But you said he’d been taking her for granted. That she wanted more from him; that he wasn’t ready or able to give.”
“Ash is Beck’s heart, soul, everything.”
“Maybe this could be your chance.” She couldn’t help that her fingers were still on his shoulders, tracing the muscle definition. She didn’t even know muscles like this existed. So why was she trying to push him away? “You said they were high school sweethearts. People change. They mature and want different things. Maybe they’ve grown apart and being together is merely a habit.”
His jaw was tight, and he shook his head, but interestingly, he didn’t push away from her this time like he had when he’d dived into the water. His hands were still on her hips, and he let her play with all his delicious firm skin, muscles and tendons. Why hadn’t she taken an art class or anatomy? Philosophy, history, and economics had not prepared her for a physical, sensual life at all.
“This could be your shot,” Nico mused. Ashni was a lucky woman to have two men in love with her, but there was another possibility. One Nico preferred for a perversely selfish reason. She was still a Wentworth, no matter how far she ran. “Or maybe thinking you’re still in love with Ash is your habit of thought.”
“What?”
“You said you fell in love with Ash as a high school freshman. Love at first sight is a Ballantyne man thing.”
His eyes narrowed, but his hands were still on her hips and his thumbs were tucked into the elastic of her panty waistband. “Yes, but I would never—”
“I know.” She placed her finger on his lips. “You are a good man. Honest. Traditional. You fell in love as a teen with a dream. And your cousin fell in love with the same girl who became a woman. You’ve been running through women thinking that you can never love again, but I think you’re selling yourself short, Bodhi. I think that if Ashni and Beck broke up for good, you still wouldn’t make a move because she’s no longer the woman you want.”
“I haven’t let myself want her. That would be a betrayal to my cousin.”
“And to you.” She pressed her palm to his heart.
“I’m not going to fall in love, Nico.” His voice was as harsh as his breathing. She’d definitely gotten his attention. “I can’t. I won’t. This between us is a…”
“Game.” She stood on her toes and tilted her head so that their lips were a whisper apart. “A win-win for us both. I know. You get to help your granddad see that he can still have his future on the ranch with his grandsons as well as helping Beck finally grab his future with Ashni and settle on the ranch.” She pressed kisses along his chest, hardly believing her good luck in finding such a man, such an opportunity. “And I get a break from my past and a fun and sex-filled week of living in the moment.”
“I’m not sure I would have put it exactly like that,” Bodhi objected. “And I’m definitely getting those same things with you and more.”
“You don’t get to make the rules and define everyone’s perspective and experience.” She laughed. He frowned, and she soothed away the lines bracketing his mouth. “I just want you to have a take-away for yourself. You deserve that. Break the spell.”
“Damn, woman, you are wicked smart and so far out of my league.”
“Good thing we aren’t playing baseball.” She sealed her comment with a kiss.
She was nervous. He’d always initiated. She’d always let men initiate. But no more, she vowed. She was going to enjoy each moment with Bodhi. Save them. Take risks. Learn something about herself.
“You slay me,” he said minutes or hours later after they’d come up for air and both of them were breathing heavy, and she could feel that long, hard part of him lodged so close to where she wanted him. “I wish…I wish it were real.”
Did she too?
She didn’t dare let her mind go there. She wasn’t at all who he thought she was. He had a family he loved, sacrificed, and fought for. Her conscience led her to turn on hers. They’d turned on her too, but still. And if he knew what she’d help build over the years, the legacy of misery, death, and broken lives she was mired in with her family, he would be revolted and throw her off the ranch.
She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his and tangled her hands in his thick, wet, shaggy hair, holding him to her. He was an extraordinary man, beautiful inside and out. She wished she were only Nico Steel—none of the rest of her name and family legacy of misery and death.
“It can be as real as we want for this week,” she promised rashly. “It’s a game. We both play to win.”
“I want to be honest with you,” he said. “I’ve never had that with a woman. Never. Not even my mother.”
“Neither have I,” she admitted. “With anyone, so we probably should think of our safe word.”
“A safe word?” His humor was back on. “Like crocodile or asparagus?”
It was such a serious moment. She wanted this so badly—the honesty, the connection, to belong—even as she was lying to him by omission about her name and life before. But still he made her laugh.
“Why asparagus?”
“It’s just such a random word. All of us were at a one-off Halloween haunted house one night up in Livingston with Ash and her cousin Reeva at a former grain silo that was being converted to a B & B and distilled spirits tasting room and restaurant. The code word to escape—meaning they’d stop scaring you and lead you to the closest exit—was asparagus. Beck shouted it out in the second room, claiming it was for Ash, but she was pissed because they escorted both of them out. Bowen, Reeva and I finished and never let him live it down.”
“Asparagus it is then.” Nico kissed the slight cleft in his chin. “And let’s hope you and I can have the courage to not use it this week.”
*
So much for putting her hair up. Nico loved to swim. He had no idea she’d be so playful in the water. They raced, played tag, and kissed near the waterfall, taking turns warming up and dunking each other.
She floated alongside him, staring up at the dark blue sky not yet turning to twilight. Their fingers linked.
“This has been the best afternoon of my life,” she said softly.
It should have sounded like an exaggeration. And yet her words resonated.
“Competing and winning in a rodeo are definite highs in my life,” he said after a moment, “but spending this afternoon with you has been one of my top ones. Definite best with a woman.”
“We haven’t even had sex yet,” she scoffed.
Bodhi found that the words hurt, offended, especially when delivered in her pragmatic, just-the-facts tone.
“Baby, you blow all other women out of the water.” To make his point, he swiped his hand flat across the swimming hole, dousing them both.
“Prove it,” she challenged and sped away from him to the shore.
He caught up and lifted her out of the water and swung her around. She clung to his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist like he’d been fantasizing about all day.
“Mmmmmm, this is a promising start,” she murmured, nestling his erection against her seam as he carried her out of the water. “Do you have enough dexterity and strength to hold me up and wrestle my panties off?”
He shifted her weight and position and flung her turquoise panties over his shoulder.
He resettled her core against him.
“I can’t believe you did that,” she marveled. “Useful skill.”
“I grew up wrestling calves to the ground for branding, and as a teen in the rodeo I got timed wrestling small steers onto their backs.”
“You must have been a champion.” She laughed a little through her sigh of pleasure. “You feel so good.” She settled her mouth over his.
He kissed her, holding her up and against him even as he reached in his saddle bag and dragged out a blanket, cursing himself for being so distracted that he didn’t prepare earlier. He had towels in there as well, but Nico didn’t seem to mind, and with her heat drenching him, he didn’t have the bandwidth to do much more than lay her down on the blanket, neither of them coming up for air.
He loved the way her body cradled his as well as the press of her soft breasts.
“Condoms are in my purse,” she said, angling herself so that she could slide up and down his straining cock. “I want you now.” Her movements nearly broke his control and resolution.
He wanted nothing more than to sink into her wet heat, but he didn’t want to be that man—selfish, thinking of his own needs, not taking the time she needed and deserved.
“Plenty of time for that,” he murmured against her lips and slid down her body, pausing long enough to suck one ripe nipple into his mouth and allow his tongue to play with it, while his fingers stroked her other nipple to straining erectness. “I need months if not years to do what I want to do with you,” he breathed reverently.
She was spread beneath him, eager and willing to be devoured, more delicious and tempting than any meal.
“Hurry, play later.” She pulled at his hair. The stab of pain shot straight to his cock. She was so hot, and the combination of her confidence blended with some innocence and insecurity and layered with her natural desire for control was a heady brew. But he had to slow down and calm down or he was going to embarrass himself or worse, take her without finesse like an animal.
He hooked her thighs and pulled them over his shoulders so he had total control.
“Bodhi?”
“Let me play. If you don’t like anything, let me know.”
“But…” She bit her lip.
“You are so beautiful,” he told her, barely able to pull his greedy gaze from her glistening core. Her skin was so creamy with a small patch of dark, reddish-brown hair already glistening with her desire. “I want to taste you.”
She blinked at him, sensuous and curious at the same time.
He waited a beat. Gave her a chance to say no. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Moistened her lips like she did when she was nervous—and it was uncanny to read her so easily after such a short time knowing her.
“It won’t gross you out? I haven’t taken a shower since this morning.”
Fury blew through him. Who the hell had she’d been with who’d made her feel that her body was not the most spectacular, sensuous feast on any menu?
To hell with that asshole. Actions trumped words, and Bodhi had always been a man of action.
*
Nico had barely begun to process her doubt. Bodhi had already given her one orgasm, and she hadn’t given him anything back. He’d blown her body apart finding and teasing nerves she didn’t know she had. But she’d also showered early this morning before breakfast and then had been riding and now swimming in a river. Shouldn’t she first…? The minute he breathed on her, her mind fragmented, and then his tongue swiped over her clit, once, then twice, and she nearly jumped out of her skin.
And that was just the beginning of his sensual play that left her clinging to his impossibly sculpted shoulders—all other men had been wasting their time in the gym and who knew she’d be such a muscle groupie?
Nico had always felt self-conscious during sex. How did she look? Should she make noise? What was her partner thinking?
With Bodhi it was all she could do to hold on to a filament of her sanity. His lips, tongue and teeth were doing something magical that had her tighter than a drawn archer’s bow, and then when he put his fingers inside of her and crossed them or did something that hit that spot he’d found earlier, she screamed his name and orgasmed so quickly and intensely she wasn’t quite sure what happened.
She was still uncoordinated and shaking, and Bodhi was still between her legs, kissing her thighs. He looked up at her, his face slick with her, and his grin should be outlawed.
“You taste even better than I imagined.”
She stared at him, unable to speak.
“You are so beautiful.”
“So are you,” she whispered, wondering what that burning was behind her eyes. “But it’s your turn.”
He laughed. “Baby, the whole day has been my turn. It’s my job to please you and yours to enjoy.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t begin to process the generosity. The rules—she dug deep. Don’t block. Stay in the moment.
What else? A couple of brain cells finally fired. “Get to work,” she ordered.
He lightly pinched her still backfiring clit and then rubbed the swollen nub, all while his dark blue eyes burned into hers. “Yes, ma’am.”
After another round that left Nico feeling more like cooked pasta than a fit, accomplished woman barely in her thirties, she flung her arm wide, fingers searching, and finally found the condom in the pocket of his jeans where he’d said it was.
Her hand shook as she rolled it on.
“Even this part of you is perfect,” she breathed in awe. He was long and thick and straight without any aggressive veins leering at her. She stared and stroked him, suddenly wishing she’d held off on sheathing him and tasted him instead.
“Ready?”
He’d sat up, his eyes hazy with lust as she continued to stroke him, liking the way he filled her hand. She pursed her lips. How would his velvety tip feel against her lips? What he would taste like?
He pulled her onto his lap, and she straddled him on her knees.
“You can control the pace,” he said.
Nico blinked. Control. She loved control. But she’d never taken it sexually. Bodhi had been so skilled and assertive and generous, she’d just assumed that he would thrust into her aggressively a few times and…
For the second time in two days, her recently discovered sexy imp uncurled deep inside her and rose up, eager for the challenge.
She positioned him along her entrance, her grip firm, and teased him by sliding back and forth along her slit. She whimpered a little as she drew a circle around her sensitive clit.
With her other hand she traced the tattoo of the three barren trees—branches pointing up like accusing fingers—in black ink high up on his left shoulder. She’d never been with anyone with a tattoo. She’d thought them vulgar, but his was sexy. Unexpected.
Why didn’t he have more?
She leaned forward to kiss his tattoo. She traced one of the trunks with her tongue while he hissed in pleasure as she daringly dipped her fingers into her sheath to coat him.
“I wish we didn’t have to use a condom.”
It was a stupid thing to say. He’d been with a lot of women. This was very temporary. She was on birth control, but she still insisted partners glove up. Where had that thought come from?
Wanting to distract him from her random, dumb comment, she dropped down on him fast, gasping in shock at his size and the quickness of his invasion.
His eyes closed, and he gripped her hips.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Way beyond okay and far down into the well of bliss.” She smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair. “You feel amazing.”
“You too.”
And then she began to move, loving his feel and the slide and the way her body gripped him. They found a rhythm that worked, and Nico’s so-called control soon burned up in flames as they kissed, and he stroked her body and thrust up with a power and intensity that matched her own.
This was what the fuss was all about. This feeling—out of her body and out of her head but never more alive and present. She clung to him and focused on him, wanting to make him feel as good as she felt. The pleasure seemed endless, waves and waves of it, and then she was on her back, the wool blanket a little rough against her skin and the sky turning a purple blue.
She gripped his firm ass as he thrust into her, her legs tight on his hips, and she could feel herself building up again, closer and closer, and she was afraid that he’d stop before she could get there one last time, only he didn’t and when she felt herself start to fragment, she tightened her hold on him and whispered his name like a talisman to guide her back down to earth.
She felt him convulse deep within her.
*
Bodhi was quiet as they rode back toward the barn—at least, that’s where Nico assumed they were headed. The sky was a darker blue now, edged with gray as the sun dropped toward a mountain range in the west.
She felt so relaxed, more like Jell-O than human, but Bodhi’s quiet unnerved her a little. Wasn’t that her role, to have doubts? It wasn’t that she didn’t. She did. She just felt so wondrous that she didn’t yet care. She would later, and she’d deal with it then. The one advantage of the careening U-turn her life had taken a little over a year ago was that so many other things that would have been worrisome or hurtful or anxiety-provoking no longer registered with the same punch.
“I wanted to take you to a special place to watch a sunset,” he said, his fingers covering hers. “We might miss it, but we might make it,” he added, casting a look at the sky.
“Let’s do it,” she said. “I’ll race you.”
Not that she knew where she was going. But Midnight seemed game, and the wind blow-dried her hair. With her makeup washed off in the river and her tangled hair, Bodhi would likely regret the riverside sex. Or maybe the gathering shadows would be kind.
They headed for a large, rolling hill that was flat on top, more like a mesa, and her heart kicked up. She bet there would be a spectacular view at the top. They raced up one side. The hill didn’t boast too much elevation, but it was massive. There was a small orchard—it looked wild, not particularly tended. She tried to take it all in. There was a large, white barn with the doors open and a lot of supplies inside, several other smaller barns or equipment sheds, and then a stand of trees flanking what looked like a cabin or maybe that was a bunkhouse.
They stopped. She slid off Midnight into Bodhi’s arms.
“Plum Hill, where the party will be?”
“Yes. You can see forever. I used to sit up in the barn at night and watch the stars through the hay door. Bowen liked to sit up there and play guitar so that none of us could flip any…goop at him.”
Nico smiled. Bodhi’s voice rang with enthusiasm, and she loved how he worked to clean up his language around her.
“Beck used to bring Ashni here to make out in the hayloft, so it was always a race to see who could claim the hill first.”
“There’s plenty of room for all of you.” She looked around. Three-sixty views and what looked like a bird’s-eye view of the ranch. Off in the distance toward Copper Mountain, she saw three large, lone fir trees facing the mountain like sentries.
“Are those the trees that gave the ranch its name?” she asked.
“Not the original ones. We lost those to a lightning strike when I was ten, same year my dad died,” he said. “The trees burned as did a fair amount of pasture, but my granddad and the ranch hands managed to put out the fire with a few neighbors who came to help. The fire department was spread too thin.”
“So you replanted?”
Ranch living was so different from the city. You took care of your own. Relied on neighbors. Sustained losses and moved on. Rebuilt if necessary. Protected your own and your community when possible.
“Yes. My granddad let each of us pick a tree and dig the hole and take care of our tree until they took root and flourished.”
“Like the three of you,” she said softly.
Fake dating. Fake relationship. Fake engagement.
Only today felt too real.
“Like us,” he answered, reaching out and snagging her hand and reeling her in to his side.
Silently, they watched the sun dip behind the mountain.
“It’s just as beautiful at sunrise. I can bring you sometime if you’re an early riser,” he said, kissing her cheek and then leading her back to the horses.
“I am.” She smiled but didn’t feel it.
Shake it off. She knew the score. Bodhi had been honest, and he was certainly not stingy with the fringe benefits.
“But we’ve got a crew working at the house with the moms starting tomorrow, and my cousins and I are up here and around the ranch working on repairs, so don’t think I’m using you for free labor.”
“Your granddad already enlisted my help,” she said, looking around a final time, feeling a sense of peace along with the thrum of anticipation. “It will be fun to help plan and decorate for a party.”
“It’s going to be a lot of physical work.” He seemed amused by her statement. “This is cowboy country.”
“Yeehaw.” She flexed her bicep. “I may be a city girl, but I got muscles.” Hopefully, he didn’t ask her which city.
“I’m looking forward to seeing more of those muscles at work and at play.” He kissed the top of her head.
Such a sweet gesture.
“It’s a short ride to the barn. If you’re up for it, I’d love to take you to dinner.”
The public part of their romance.
Ditch the inner sarcasm. You spread your own rumors this morning.
She looked around again and spotted the sprawling farmhouse not too far away. “This would be a fantastic events space if you want when you all settle down here,” she said. “You’ve got the massive, picturesque barn, several outbuildings. You could build a guesthouse up here or expand the little cabin for agrifarming vacations or…”
“Forget it.” He boosted her up onto the horse. But his voice was heavy and dark, and his expression shuttered. Where did he go again? He certainly didn’t seem like her game-playing cowboy.
“I thought you were the baddest cowboy around,” she tried to tease him. “You’re going to allow one of your cousins to scoop you?”
To her relief, his eyes lightened, and the tension in his expression, which had been withdrawn, eased.
“Never been beat yet.”
“Keep your streak and your dreams alive, cowboy.”