Julianne paced her bedroom, her silky purple nightgown sliding around her legs as her agitated steps carried her from one end of the small space to the other. Though it was well past midnight, the laughter and loud voices still carried up from the floors below. The party remained in full swing.
But it wasn’t the noise keeping her awake. With nineteen full-time occupants and a regular contingent of guests, the Therian enclave was rarely a quiet place, even in the dead of night.
No, what kept her awake was Zeeland.
Her unsteady fingers touched her lips as her body burned with unfulfilled desire. Never had she felt so confused. Even after her mother died, she hadn’t felt this lost. Because there had always been others around her, watching over her. Protecting her.
There was no one to protect her now. No one to protect any of them.
Yet Zeeland was determined to try. His kiss had stirred up all the old feelings again. She’d feared she’d never stopped loving him. Now she knew it was true.
He’d known she was in trouble the moment he’d learned she was playing Beethoven. Even after all these years, Zeeland understood her.
She needed him so badly. Her friend, her confidant. Those strong arms that had always kept her safe.
How was she supposed to keep pushing him away when he was the only thing in life she wanted?
Maybe, maybe, if she could find that damned necklace, Melisande would go away and leave her alone. Then maybe her life would return to normal. Or as normal as it could ever be now that she knew she was part Ilina.
Running her fingers through her hair, she looked at the bed and knew she’d never sleep. She might as well search a bit more. This might be a good time to tackle the kitchen, the one place she’d yet to search adequately since doing so was bound to make noise. Why a necklace might be hiding in the kitchen, she couldn’t guess. But with the party in full swing, she could come up with some excuse for rooting in the cupboards, and no one would pay her much attention. Probably.
Unless Zeeland found her.
With a shudder that was as much anticipation as dread, she reached for her sweatpants.
A knock on her door had her dropping the pants back on the chair. She’d taken only a single step when the door swung open, and Zeeland stepped inside.
“Zee?”
“You’re not sleeping.” He closed the door behind him. “I’m going to stay right here because every time I get too close, I forget what I’m doing. Tell me what’s going on, Julianne. You’re scared, and I want to know why.”
She took a step back to keep from flinging herself into his arms. “You need to leave, Zee.”
“No.” His jacket was gone, and he crossed his arms over his broad, muscular chest. “You’re either going to tell me what’s going on, or you’re going to make love with me, then tell me. Your choice.”
Her body melted at his words, heat erupting in her chest and washing downward until she thought she might turn into a puddle on the floor.
She laughed. There was not a single thing funny about her situation, but his options were so classically Zeeland—no options at all. Yet he said them so seriously. As if she had a choice, as if she weren’t wholly overwhelmed by the whole damned thing. Her laughter changed, choking off, as fat tears began to roll down her cheeks.
“Juli…”
Her vision swam beneath the weight of her tears. “I’ve missed you, Zee.” Her voice was little more than a whisper, but he heard. She knew he heard because a heartbeat later she felt his strong arms go around her.
As she pressed her tear-streaked face against the buttons of his shirt, his gentle hands stroked her back and her hair, holding her tight, protecting her against the world.
“I’m sorry, Julianne. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me. But I’m here now.” He held her close, playing with her hair, letting it slide through his fingers as her tears ran their course, and silence finally cocooned them.
He pulled back and lifted her chin, forcing her to look up at him. His knuckles brushed her cheek. “Tell me what’s going on, Juli. What has you afraid, Sunshine?”
She tried to look away from those too-perceptive eyes, but he wouldn’t have it.
“Don’t, Julianne. I’m not letting you go until you tell me the truth.”
She stared into his warm brown eyes and swallowed. The lies wouldn’t come. Not anymore. “The truth is, I can’t tell you, Zeeland.”
“You can, sweetheart. You can tell me anything.”
Her mouth twisted with wry frustration as those words echoed from her childhood.
“Quit using that fatherly voice on me, Zee. I’m no longer a child.”
His mouth clamped shut, his eyes darkening. “I am all too aware of that.” The husky note in his voice slid along her flesh like warm silk.
At the feel of his hands falling away, she thought he’d decided to release her. Until she felt his fingers at her waist. He gripped her tight, his hands shaking ever so slightly as if he were barely in control.
Excitement spiraled through her, need pulsing low and hot.
Zeeland’s palms slid down over her hips and back up again with sharp, needy movements.
“Tell me what’s the matter, Julianne.” His words demanded, but his tone was rough with another emotion. He leaned forward, his lips grazing her temple. “Tell me.”
“I can’t.” Her own voice sounded no steadier than his. She felt drugged by his nearness, and by his rich, masculine scent, swept away on a tide of longing.
His hands slid up, his thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts through the silky gown. She sucked in a long, slow gasp of a breath, reveling in the intimate touch, trembling with the need for more.
His finger rose to stroke a sensitive nipple. Fire shot through her, the thin silk doing little to protect her from the heat of his flesh, tearing a moan from her throat. He brushed her nipple again, back and forth with his thumb until her head fell back, her eyes half closed from the pure, intoxicating feel of his touch.
“Zeeland.”
She knew the moment his control snapped. His touch changed from slow to frantic, from gentle to greedy. His palm replaced his thumb on her breast, his fingers kneading with fierce tenderness even as his other hand cupped the back of her head to hold her captive. His mouth descended, taking hers in a feverish kiss.
With a single, well-aimed blow to her senses, the sweep of his tongue inside her mouth wreaked havoc on her intentions to send him away. For too long, she’d dreamed of this. Of being in his arms. Of feeling his passion. Yet the reality was far beyond any dream.
She felt as if she were burning up from the inside, blazing with a need as desperate as it was exhilarating.
“Make love to me, Zee,” she gasped against his mouth.
At first she wasn’t sure he’d heard her, then he pulled back just far enough to see her clearly. His eyes were heavy-lidded and dark with desire, even as they throbbed with tenderness.
“Please, Zee. I’ve waited for this for so long.”
Those heat-filled eyes of his erupted in pure flame, sending her own desire tumbling into the conflagration, filling her with a deep, reckless joy.
His head dipped to her neck, nipping and licking with feverish kisses. “I have to be inside you, Julianne. Now.”