NICOLA WAS STILL IN a daze the next morning. She’d already known in her heart of hearts that her little test strips at home had given her the correct response. She was pregnant.
Pregnant!
And Kaleb was the father.
Bill had been good enough not to ask about the specific circumstances beyond what she’d told him on the phone. And he’d also referred her to a colleague who was a newer ob-gyn at Grace Central. Treating her himself might be considered a conflict of interest, since they’d had an intimate relationship in the past. She hadn’t thought about that, but he was right. So she’d walked out of the hospital with a card, for an appointment with her new obstetrician—a woman she’d never worked with, and who would hopefully ask no questions—next week.
And now she had to figure out when to tell Kaleb. Now, while things were early? Or after the first trimester, when there was less chance of miscarrying?
If she miscarried, it would be a moot point. Even the thought of that happening, though, made her throat squeeze shut.
She walked into NYC Memorial to start her new shift, heading to the coffee shop to pick up a cup of joe before going to her office and sorting through her appointments and consultations for the day.
Staring down at her phone as she stood in line, she tried to figure out if she should risk getting a bagel. Her stomach had been much better behaved this morning, even if her nerves were still a little shaky. A tap on her shoulder had her glancing back to see the very man she was thinking about.
She froze for a second or two, and she saw him frown as he studied her face. “Did your appointment not go the way you’d hoped it would?”
“Appointment?” Her voice ended on a squeak, then she remembered she hadn’t specified whom her appointment was with. She took a breath. Then another. “Oh, that. Um, yes. It went fine.”
Fine? Was that really the best word to use, if she was going to tell him about the pregnancy? He might think she’d somehow planned this.
No, that was crazy. It wasn’t like she’d had an opportunity to sabotage the condoms they’d used. Plus, she’d never admitted to remembering that night. Although he’d never asked outright, so she hadn’t had to make a choice about whether or not to outright lie about it.
And if he asked her exactly what her appointment had been about?
Maybe it was better to do this sooner rather than later.
Her heart became a racing, tripping thing in her chest. What if word somehow got back to him despite the HIPAA laws that were in place? Hospital grapevines were alive and well in most medical facilities.
If he was going to find out from anyone, she’d rather be the one controlling the narrative, right?
Yes. That in itself gave her the courage to open her mouth.
“Hey, I kind of need to talk to you about something. Do you have any room in your schedule today?”
He looked at her for a second, and then someone behind them cleared his throat. Nicola realized she’d allowed a gap to form in front of her and it was now her turn. She moved forward and gave the cashier her order, then paid with her debit card. Kaleb did the same.
Once they had their orders, Kaleb said, “I have some time now. Do you want to find a seat?”
Oh, great. There was no way she was going to say the words “I’m pregnant and the baby is yours” here in the hospital cafeteria, where anyone could hear her. Where anyone could witness his reaction to the news. “Can we go back to my office instead?”
“That bad, huh?” He paused. “Let’s go to mine. I need to check on something, anyway.”
What could she say? That it wasn’t bad news?
It might not be to her, but for him? Oh, yes, probably not news he would be thrilled to hear. But the sooner she got this over with, the sooner she could put this monster in her head to bed and stop obsessing over how he might react.
Then she could concentrate on the baby and not on the fear that her pregnancy might be discovered by him or someone else. Because he was absolutely going to guess, given the time frame.
“That sounds good. Thanks.”
She followed him to the elevator and somehow endured the trip to the third floor. She hadn’t realized his office was on the same floor as hers. When they got to the farthest corner of the building, Kaleb stopped to unlock a door.
Walking inside, she could see why the hospital administrator had said her office was pretty humble. Because Kaleb’s was twice the size and had a sweeping view of the grounds. She guessed plastic surgeons brought in more revenue than a lowly internal-medicine doctor.
Not fair, Nic. For all you know, it goes by seniority and not specialty.
The office was furnished in dark woods and leather furniture, with a squashy couch flanked by two matching chairs to the left. A large screen on the wall behind the grouping must be to show his patients what they could expect from their procedure. It made more sense to have this in a reconstructive surgeon’s office, anyway, since she could offer no before-and-after views. And someone like a urologist probably wouldn’t need or want this kind of feature.
She caught him looking at her and realized she’d been staring at the television. “I’m taking it you consult with patients in here. Do before-and-after views?”
It gave her a funny feeling, like she was intruding on something intimate. Did he examine patients in here, as well?
That made her squirm, although she wasn’t sure why. Her reasons for coming here flew out the window at the thought of a patient baring her breasts to him... Slowly walking toward him...
Dammit, Nicola, you’re being ridiculous. He’s a doctor. He’s a professional. He has a job to do and he does it. Just like you.
“I do reconstructive surgeries. I’m not interested in face-lifts and augmentations, if that’s what you’re getting at.” His voice was tight. Almost angry-sounding.
She blinked, realizing how out of line her thoughts had been. “It wouldn’t matter if you did. You would still be treating patients with a need, whether physical or emotional, wouldn’t you?”
“Sorry. You’re right. I’m not sure why I felt the need to say that.”
“Plastic surgeons sometimes get a bad rap. I can see why it might make you defensive.”
“Thanks, but I wasn’t defensive. Just...cautious. Have a seat.” He nodded at the grouping she’d been looking at.
Cautious? What did that mean? Lord, had he read her thoughts?
She did as he asked, now totally flustered. By his reaction to an innocent question. Oh, hell, she wasn’t flustered by any of that. It was him. Just him. Kaleb had this presence that made her want to do exactly what she’d imagined moments earlier.
She’d purposely chosen one of the chairs rather than the sofa for just that reason, and she now perched on the very edge, cupping her coffee as if it could ward off the chill that was growing inside of her.
He sat on the sofa across from her and slid an arm along the back of the cushion, looking totally at ease. His dark-washed jeans and blue button-down shirt emphasized his lean good looks. And when that craggy line appeared in the side of his face... God, he was stunning. A real heartbreaker.
Only Kaleb hadn’t broken her heart. Far from it. But at this point in her life and career, she neither wanted nor needed a relationship. If she did, she would have fought harder to salvage her relationship with Bill. They had both been focused on their careers, which had helped when they called things off.
And his biggest complaint had been that she was emotionally cool. Too cool. Maybe she was. She hadn’t gotten Danny’s effervescent personality and sharp wit. Although looking back, maybe those things had covered up a deep well of pain that no one knew existed. And his diagnosis might have brought it all to a head.
She swallowed and shook off the thoughts. She was at a new hospital, with brand-new opportunities to learn and grow. Even though she’d toyed with the idea of finding someone special, she wasn’t desperate.
“So what did you want to see me about?”
See him about?
Her thoughts went completely blank for several frightening seconds, before she blurted out the first thing she could grab hold of. “Um, well, before I came to the hospital, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t know any of the staff here.”
He leaned back, propping one ankle on his knee. His gaze was on her, sharp and wary. “And did you?”
She nodded. “Yes. It was a shock actually. So much so, that I didn’t know what to say. Or how to react. Kind of like now.”
“I know the feeling.” That damn line appeared on the left side of his mouth. “Is this a confession, Nicola?”
“Kind of.”
“So when Harvey introduced us, you did remember?” The words came out slowly, as if pondering the implications.
She nodded, her hands tightening on her cup. What else could she say?
“Hell, you sure had me fooled. I could have sworn you thought you were meeting me for the first time.”
She paused, trying to find a way to mitigate some of the damage from her deception. Something that wouldn’t present her in the worst possible light. If that was even possible at this point. “I thought it would make it super awkward if during that meeting, I said, ‘Nice to see you again. I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.’”
“Ah, but you saw me with my clothes on. In the bar.”
“Yes, but I wasn’t paying attention to...you. Not until later.”
“So it wasn’t my witty dialogue that captured your attention.” He leaned forward. “I had a feeling the bar scene wasn’t someplace you normally found yourself.”
How would he know that? Was it something he normally did?
“Definitely not someplace I normally go. Or something I normally do.” She swallowed. They’d done some pretty damn sexy things.
“You seemed pretty...what shall I say?” The smile appeared again. “Uninhibited.”
“Oh, God.” She leaned back against the chair with an embarrassed laugh. “My only excuse is that I don’t do a lot of drinking.”
“So why were you drinking that night?” He paused, his eyes on hers. That mysterious line suddenly lost its grip on his face. “Ah, your brother?”
She nodded.
“Now it all makes sense. Strangely enough, I was there for the same reason.”
“I don’t understand.”
He set his drink on the glass-topped table between them. “I’d just lost a patient.”
“Oh!” Understanding dawned in a second. “The melanoma patient.”
“Yes. No one expected her to go home and end her life.”
“No one expected my brother to do that, either.”
She needed to know. “And did it help? Going to the bar? Going back to the hotel?”
“Actually, it did. It was like it jump-started my system and helped me get back on track.”
“Me, too.” It hadn’t erased the pain of what had happened, but it had helped her slide past it and start living again. Helped her realize there was still enjoyment to be found in life. For that, she would be grateful. “It was exciting. And dangerous. And just what I needed.”
“I’ve never thought of myself as dangerous.”
“Dangerous in a good way.” The emotions of that night came back with a vengeance, bits and pieces of imagery filtering through her brain and reawakening the need she’d felt that night. Her eyes landed on his.
God. How could the man be so sexy, without even trying!
“My ego was pretty banged up when I saw you with Harvey, and you acted like you’d never laid eyes on me.”
She laughed. “Harvey was there. And it seemed like the easiest solution at the time. And then afterward, I decided it was too late.”
“So why say anything now?”
She hesitated. “Were you able to just shake off that night?”
“No.”
The one word carried a wealth of meaning, and she found herself needing to moisten her lips. Tension crackled in the air between them as his gaze pinned her in place, making it hard to breathe. To think.
And then he stood, and her mouth went completely dry at the intent in his eyes. She suddenly wanted the warmth and sexiness he brought to the game. Needed it with a desperation that surprised her.
“No,” he repeated. “I wasn’t able to just shake it off. I still haven’t.”
He tugged her to her feet, his fingertips sliding into her hair.
Yes. This sexiness. This man had made her forget all her problems that night. “Me, either.”
Almost as soon as the words left her lips, his mouth was on hers. A slow tasting that was so very different from the whirlwind of grief and need that had gone through her the last time they were together.
All thoughts were pushed to the remotest part of her brain. Because the only thing she wanted right now was to make this kiss go on for as long as humanly possible.
This time she could savor. Could enjoy the slight taste of coffee on his tongue, the friction of his lips as they moved across hers. Could revel in the way her emotions opened up and consumed her.
She should stop. Now. But her willpower was pretty much nil. The fact that he’d thought about her after that night, the same way she’d thought about him, was heady. Delicious.
Almost as delicious as his touch.
She hadn’t realized the coffee cup was still in her hand, until she felt him take it. What happened to it after that was a mystery she wasn’t interested in unraveling. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to quit what he was doing.
With her hand now free, she could wrap her arms around his neck. The move pressed her fully against him, and her mind vaguely wondered how she measured up to patients he’d seen. To women he’d had before.
But it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be kissing her like he was if there wasn’t something about her that he liked. That made him want to tug her out of her seat and plaster his mouth to hers.
That was okay. Because there was something about him that held her captive, as well.
Suddenly he scooped her off her feet and strode to a small door at the back of his office. “Where are we—?”
“Twist the handle, Nicola.”
She somehow coaxed her nerveless fingers to do his bidding, and the door opened to reveal a small bathroom, complete with sink, stool and shower.
“It’s a little more private here,” he murmured.
He pushed the door shut with his foot, then twisted the lock.
“Doesn’t your office door lock?”
“Yes. But two layers of protection are better than one, don’t you think?”
The words tickled at something in her head that was quickly forgotten when he set her down on the sink’s countertop and cupped her face to kiss her again. He stopped for a second, looking at her. “How adventurous are you?”
He had no idea.
“Right now, I feel pretty damn adventurous.”
“That’s all I needed to hear, Nicola. Because I want you. Right now.” His hands went to the edge of her skirt and skimmed it over her thighs.
She lifted to help, her pulse pounding in her ears. They were going to do it. Right here in his office. That’s what he meant by adventurous.
And, God, she wanted him, more than any man she’d ever had.
“We don’t have much time right now. But I’ll make it up to you later.”
Later? Her body turned warm as she imagined all the ways he might make it up to her. “Right now, I don’t need very much time.”
“You have no idea what you do to me.”
She kind of did. Because he did the same to her. Only more.
He cupped her breast, thumb finding her nipple with the precision of a surgeon. That thought made her laugh.
“Something funny?” He squeezed lightly, turning her giggle into a low moan.
“N-no. Nothing.” A feeling of breathlessness made it hard to think. Hard to speak.
She was drowning in a luscious vat of desire. One that she never wanted to climb out of.
Leaving her breast, his fingers looped in the elastic of her bikini panties and slowly peeled them down her legs.
Not much time. Not much time. The words repeated through her head, willing him to hurry. Because if something interrupted them, she was going to be a wreck for the rest of the day. She might have to find some quiet corner of the hospital and...
The sound of a zipper cut through her thoughts.
She gulped. No corner needed.
His arm curved around her butt and dragged her to the very edge of the counter. He stepped between her legs, so she couldn’t close them even if she wanted to. She definitely did not want to. A brief thought of protection came and went, but it was a moot point now.
Until a packet was pressed into her hand, and she felt him nudge her opening. “Do me, Nicola.”
Oh, God. The bald words with their double meaning made heat arc through her belly and slide down to where he was waiting. Ready. So hot. So hard.
She used her teeth to tear into the plastic packet and took out the condom. She reached down, unable to touch him without her hand sliding over herself in the process. Her eyes closed for a second in utter ecstasy.
“I like that.” His cheek brushed hers. “Here, honey. Let me help.”
She felt his hand cover hers, and he sheathed himself. But when she went to move her hand away, he held it in place. “Let me help,” he repeated.
His fingers cupping hers, he moved her to where she’d been moments earlier, right at the most sensitive part of her body. He used her fingers to stroke herself, and the utter sensuality of it made her teeth come down on her lower lip. She had to stop herself from crying out. She moaned instead.
“Do you feel it, Nicola? This was what it was like for me that night. You are so soft. So sensitive. It drove me wild.”
It was driving her pretty wild, too. His erection brushed between their hands, and he included it in their play, gripping it as he continued to urge her to stroke herself. And when her eyes came up, she found him watching her.
“You are absolutely gorgeous. Your pupils tell me everything I need to know.”
He moved her hand for a second and entered her with a hard thrust that drove the breath from her lungs. He groaned against her ear. “Touch yourself, Nic. I want to feel you.”
She couldn’t resist him if she wanted to. Wrapping her legs around his hips to hold him in place, she did as he asked, the combination of what she was doing along with the deep purposeful movements inside of her making her world spin out of control. Her lids fluttered closed.
“No, baby. Open those beautiful green eyes. I want to see the moment it happens.”
She struggled. Tried and failed the first time. But, somehow, she parted her lids. Focused on him as one hand slid up her back and buried itself in her hair. He tipped her back, supporting her with his arm, and then bent over, took her nipple in his mouth and sucked hard.
“Ah...” This time she couldn’t stop herself from crying out as a cliff rushed forward to meet her and whispered for her to jump. His tongue lapped her, the movements in time with her stroking fingers, and suddenly it was too much. She took off over the edge, colors swirling as she sailed out into space, her body spasming around him.
She felt him pumping like a wild man, and then he suddenly stiffened, everything coming to a complete halt for several long seconds.
Then he relaxed, pulling her back up to rest against him, his breathing ragged.
She wrapped her arms around his back and held him there, not wanting to come down. She’d never had that kind of reaction before, had never been so totally lost in the act. Not even last time at the hotel. At the time, she’d thought it was the highest of highs. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
He kissed her shoulder. “I really don’t want this to be a wham-bam thing, but I have a patient I need to see.”
“It’s okay.” She unhooked her legs to let him move away, which he did, making a face as he slid free.
Discarding the used condom, he zipped himself back in, then reached down to scoop up her panties. When he tugged them up her legs, a strange surge of emotion come over her. Had to be hormones.
Hormones!
Oh, God, she’d almost completely forgotten. Actually she had forgotten during the last part of their time together. She hopped off the counter and pulled her undergarment back into place, tugging her skirt down, as well.
“What was it you wanted to tell me?”
Had he read her mind? She swallowed hard, bile washing up her throat. What had she been thinking? She’d come here to tell him something important, not have sex with him. Again.
But if she didn’t say it now, she was going to chicken out and put it off. And it would just get more and more complicated with each passing day. Especially if they slept together again, like he’d hinted.
“I’m sorry, Kaleb. This is a little different from how I’d envisioned this scene, and I’m not sure exactly how to say this.” There was a long pause. One in which his carefree attitude seemed to dry up and a wariness infused the muscles of his face.
“So you are leaving.”
“No. No I’m not, but you might wish I was when you hear what I’m about to tell you.” She licked her lips and forced herself to say the words that would change both of their lives. Forever.
“I’m pregnant.”