HE HADN’T MEANT to kiss her, had only meant to help with her foot. But then she’d said his name. The husky way it rolled off her tongue had made him come unglued, had pulled him toward her. And hell if her mouth wasn’t every bit as soft as he’d imagined it would be. Her skin held a hint of salt from the spray of the boat trip. In trying to help her foot wake up, he woken himself, instead.
Pull away. Before it’s too late. Before you’re out of control.
The warning was already too late, because the second she started kissing him back, he was free-falling. Adrift in the sky with nothing tethering him to reality.
And right now, reality was the last thing he wanted to think about.
He bit her lower lip, and she shuddered against him, her arms looping themselves around his neck. He needed to take a step back, to make a decision. Get up and force himself to take her home. Or get up and take her back to his apartment to finish what he started. Because staying on this bench wasn’t an option, unless he wanted to get them thrown in jail. Or maybe he should let her make the decision and take the choice out of his hands.
He leaned down and found her ear. “How anxious are you to get home?”
“Not anxious. Especially if I’ll be there alone.”
A wave of exhilaration crashed over him. It hadn’t been his imagination. She was just as caught up in the moment—in him—as he was in her.
“You won’t be alone, I promise. And I was thinking my place.”
Her cheek slid against his, her arms tightening and holding her against him. “Your place it is.”
“Can you walk?”
She leaned back and glanced into his face. “It’s a little too early to be asking me that, isn’t it?”
He laughed, catching her drift. “I was referring to your foot. But I’ve always liked a challenge.”
Her face turned a wonderful shade of pink. “I wasn’t suggesting... I thought you meant...”
“Oh, I know what you thought.” He grinned. “So...your foot? Or would you rather I carry you back to the car.”
“I can walk on it.”
“Too bad. I was kind of looking forward to tossing you over my shoulder.”
“You wouldn’t!”
The way he was feeling right now, he wasn’t too sure what he would do. But nothing about this felt ominous or truly dangerous to anything other than his own peace of mind.
Snow aimed a slow smile at her before taking her shoe and sliding it back in place. “Okay. No shoulders. At least not today.” Then, taking her hand, he towed her toward the parking lot and his car. He hadn’t set out on this trip with this endgame in mind. In fact, he’d tried to avoid this with every fiber of his being. But now that it was here, and she was just as into it as he was, he wasn’t going to shy away from it. Even if he wanted to. And he definitely did not want to.
What about future text messages?
He wasn’t sure how he knew it, but Kirsten wouldn’t go that route. She hadn’t been the one to initiate this—he had. And that should bother him on some level.
They made it to the car and headed out of the parking lot. He caught her hand in his and placed it on the gearshift. The sensuality of their hands together as they shifted from one gear to another made desire clutch at his innards. They stopped at a traffic light, and Snow pulled her toward him for a long, drawn-out kiss. A half hour had never seemed so long.
Then they were back in traffic. New York City definitely had a nightlife, so the line of vehicles was almost as long as it was during rush hour. He could see why some people chose not to have a vehicle, relying instead on public transport to get them where they needed to be. Kirsten had said that was part of the appeal of the city. Snow liked to drive himself, though, despite the inconveniences.
“Just a few more minutes, I promise.”
She gave him a smile. “Don’t worry. I’m enjoying the ride.”
Something about the way she said that made his insides heat. Then again, it could just be him reading a secondary meaning into her words. He was tempted to find an empty lot and find out, but he really, really wanted to do this in his apartment, rather than in public. He wanted privacy. And leg room. And to enjoy her in small, sensuous bites. He could dissect all the feelings that went along with that desire later. But most of all, he wanted her naked, with her skin against his. Anything less than that would be...sacrilege.
A few blocks later, his apartment complex came into view. He pulled down a ramp, punched in his code and waited as the doors swung open. He’d rented this place six years ago, before he married Theresa. And after she left, he’d retained the apartment, although he’d thought about selling when they first divorced. But since not all of his memories in this place were linked to her, he was able to get past it. Besides, he already had his security measures in place, and to get something else... Well, it meant he had to make a decision about whether or not to cycle back through the measures he’d taken ever since he’d been out on his own. By keeping this place, he didn’t have to make that decision. Could just pretend that it was easier to leave things as they were, than to have to deal with putting his past behind him, once and for all.
If he sat down and examined it long enough, he’d realize that no, he probably wouldn’t have his extra locks removed. And that idiosyncrasy had played a part in the breakup of his marriage. A smaller part than the issues she’d had with his emotional availability, to be sure, but it all had jumbled together to make a huge mess of their relationship.
There’d been no saving it by that point. And maybe there’d been no saving him, by that point, either.
He found his parking place and pulled into it, shifting his car into first gear and turning off the engine. Kirsten had gotten quiet. A little too quiet. Maybe she’d changed her mind.
Hell, if she had, it was better to find out now than later. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
His chest tightened, and he somehow forced the words from a throat that had gone dry. “Do you want me to take you home?”
“What?” Understanding dawned in her face. “No. I didn’t mean that. I meant I didn’t expect the trip over here to take as long as it did.”
His muscles went slack with relief, and he laughed, swinging out of his car and moving around to open her door. “I’m afraid it’s going to take a whole lot longer.”
“What do you mean?”
He took her hands and looked into her face. “If you think we’re going in there and moving through everything at lightning speed, you’re very much mistaken.”
She used his grip to tug him toward her. “I don’t care what speed we move at. As long as we move.” She nodded at the corner of the parking garage, where a small camera silently watched. “Because that thing is going to get a...how do you say it...? Hadhar... To see more than it wishes to see.”
He loved hearing her say things in Arabic. “I think eyeful is the word you’re looking for. And you’re right. It—or whoever is behind the scenes—is going to get an eyeful if we don’t start walking toward the elevator.”
Pressing his forehead to hers, he said, “There’s a camera in the elevator, too, unfortunately.”
“And in your apartment? Are there cameras there, too?”
She meant the words in a playful way, but his gut tightened for a second. Because there were. Only his cameras were very well hidden and could be turned off with the touch of a button. He was careful with how he phrased his answer. “No spying eyes in there. The only one watching you will be me. The only recording device will be in my head.”
“I like that. So you’ll be reliving it?”
“Will you?” He already knew his answer, but he wanted to know hers.
“You know I will.”
He led her toward the elevator and pushed the button. Once inside, he used a special key that would take him to his assigned floor. Every tenant had one. It had been one of the features that had sold him on the place.
They arrived on the fourteenth floor, and got off the elevator. Snow curled his fingers around her hips and walked backward with her toward the door to his apartment. Once there, he unlocked the dead bolt and the doorknob, and pressed his thumb on the reader pad, then waited for that last security measure to release a lock. As they started through the entryway, he saw her eyes were no longer on him, but on the door they’d just come through.
“I didn’t realize these big apartment blocks had so much security,” she said.
“It varies from place to place.” She didn’t need to know that only his apartment had all of these measures. She was only here for a night. Not long-term, like Theresa had been. No need to explain anything. Or try. Not that his ex had bought any of his explanations.
“Got it.” But there had been a tiny hesitation before she’d said that.
Time to get her mind back on other things. He slammed the door and reeled her toward him. “Still okay?”
“Oh, yes.” She smiled, and whatever he’d seen in her eyes disappeared in a flash. “And now that we’re alone...”
“All alone. Not even a pet fish to interrupt us.”
“Mmm... I like that. Not the pet thing, but the no-interruptions thing.”
His hands went to her shoulders and skimmed down her arms. Her blouse had no sleeves and the skin he encountered was warm and silky soft. She was addicting, in the best possible way.
He reached down and scooped her up, heading toward his bedroom.
Laughing, she said, “What about the tour?”
“Don’t worry. You’re about to get the most important tour of the house. There’s a lot to see.” He kissed her cheek, her nose, her mouth. “And even more to explore.”
His bedroom door was open, so he walked in, then turned to push it shut with his foot. She stopped him.
“No cameras, right? So no need to shut the door.”
He blinked. “Right. Just habit.”
It was habit. One ingrained since childhood, when his mom had whispered for him to get into his room and lock the door. Leaving a door wide-open was hard. Even now. But he smiled and left it as it was, moving with her toward the bed. He set her on it carefully, smiling as she held her arms out to him.
He could shut the door later. It would be okay. It was actually the first time a woman had challenged him about his habit. Except for his ex. But even then, Theresa hadn’t known the full reason behind it. She’d banged and banged at that door inside of his head, trying to get inside...to understand why he was the way he was. That had proved a disaster. Because the harder she pushed, the more he barricaded himself in. He wouldn’t let a woman get close enough to try again.
And there was no need. Snow would honor the toast he and Kaleb had made a year ago—he was not getting married again. His buddy might have found his so-called soul mate, but he was pretty sure there wasn’t one out there for him. And for his own peace of mind, he didn’t want there to be.
Looking at the woman now sprawled across his bed, her eyes staring up at him as if waiting for his next move, all thoughts of Theresa—and the doors in his mind—fled as a wave of need coursed through him. The long white skirt emphasized her tanned skin and long slender legs. His glance went lower. “Let’s get rid of these shoes, shall we?”
He leaned down and slid the black wedged heels off her feet. There was a small blister on the outside of one of her big toes. He touched it. “Damn. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
She looked puzzled. “Tell you what?”
“That your shoes were giving you a blister.”
“I didn’t really notice it until the very end.”
That didn’t help. He felt like a cad for making her walk as much as they had. He sat on the bed and propped her foot across his legs. “We can put some lotion on that.”
She straightened her leg, forcing it off his lap. “Later. The last thing I want to talk about is blisters or shoes or lotion.”
He shifted at the waist, using his arms to lean down and bracket her into his space. “So, what do you want to talk about instead?”
“Don’t want to talk at all,” she muttered, taking hold of his polo shirt and pulling him down toward her. The kiss was hard and wet and full of so much promise that it made his throat tighten. Oh, to be able to just live in this moment for a lifetime.
Well, the lifetime part might not be possible, but living in the moment was definitely doable.
The kiss deepened, until it was teeth and tongue and the need to get closer to each other. When he pulled away, his breath was uneven, the area behind his zipper throbbing with need. And her face. Kirsten’s face was flushed, and her lips had parted to reveal the edges of white teeth.
“Damn. How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Push me to the very edge of the world.” He stood to his feet and took hold of her skirt. “Is there a zipper?”
“No, it’s elastic.”
He tugged, and like magic it rode the curve of her hips, and he waited until she lifted slightly before tugging it over her butt. White lace came into view. Lace that was wide across her hips and narrowed to play peekaboo with the area at the junction of her thighs. He wanted to pause there. But he needed to finish his task. The skirt.
After letting it drop to the floor, his fingers trailed up the outsides of her thighs, enjoying more of her silky smooth skin. But first, the blouse had to go.
The buttons were black, like the rest of the fabric, and he leaned over her, going by feel rather than by sight as each pearl fastener slid through its hole and displayed more curves hidden beneath it. This time the lace was black, matching the fabric of her shirt. He liked it. Liked that her bra was the opposite color of her underwear. It reminded him of the turmoil and contradictions he housed inside himself.
“You’re beautiful, did you know that?”
She smiled up at him, her eyes bright, shining just for him. At least right now. “You’re not so bad yourself.” She sat up, her fingers going to his waistband. “But I think it’s time to even up the playing field.”
Pushing his shirt up his stomach, he leaned over so she could haul the garment over his head. Then it was on the floor, her fingers wandering over his bare chest, scraping down over his nipples in a way that made his breath whoosh out on an oath. He somehow managed to choke out, “That is not leveling the field.”
Using his legs to push hers apart, he joined her on the bed, his erection pressing into her belly with a need that was hard to contain. He kissed her as one hand skimmed up her side until he found her breast. It was soft, her bra presenting it to him in a way that made his mouth water. He did what she’d done to him a moment or two ago, and gently scraped his thumbnail over her nipple. Her moan shot through him, arcing right down to his shaft and making it jump.
Hell, with the way his emotions were cascading out of control, he was not going to be able to make this last as long as he’d hoped. The horizon was moving toward him at an ever-increasing speed. Soon he wouldn’t be able to stop it from slamming into him and dragging him to a swift release.
Something about that niggled at the back of his mind, a blinking red light that warned him to slow down. But he didn’t want to listen to it or anything, right now.
He reached behind her and unhooked her bra, peeling it down her arms and tossing it in the direction her blouse and shirt had gone. Then she was bare, that golden skin calling to him. He rolled over, pulling her with him, until she was straddling his hips, sitting up where he could see her, his gaze moving down her throat, over those beautiful breasts, past her stomach to the place where her legs parted for him.
Hard and throbbing and still struggling for control, he reached back to his pocket and removed his wallet. Took out a condom and threw the wallet onto his nightstand, missing and sending it sailing onto the floor. He didn’t care. Nothing mattered right now except for getting the rest of their clothes off.
But he didn’t want her to move.
He gripped her hips and rotated his pelvis into her.
Hell! Raw sensation rocketed through him, his mind teeming with tantalizing scenarios all ending with them finishing this right now, with their clothes still on. He repeated the act, letting himself fall a little further. Kirsten’s eyes shut tight.
“No.” Her word came out raspy and urgent.
He immediately sat up, that niggling at the back of his mind becoming a screaming, accusing siren.
“I’m sorry.” His arms going around her to keep her from falling backward. “Did I hurt you?”
She got off of him and stood on the hardwood floor. “No. You didn’t.” Before he could figure out why she suddenly wanted to stop, her fingers went to her waistband and pushed her panties down.
“I thought you said—”
“I meant ‘no’ as in I want to feel you, and if you keep doing what you’re doing—” she gave a visible swallow “—I’m not going to last very long.”
Her meaning hit him, and the relief was so thick, he had to shut his eyes for a minute to get through it. Then he laughed, although it was shaky. “Damn. I was just thinking that maybe we could make it work without taking our clothes off at all.”
“You thought wrong.” She reached for the button on his jeans and undid it.
In a flash he was off the bed and shucking the rest of his clothes. He grabbed the condom package and opened it, rolling it over himself. “Okay, so no to the clothes. But yes to everything else?”
“Yes, to everything...and anything.”
The words blazed over him, setting him on fire and storming his senses. To have that kind of trust, even though she knew almost nothing about him...
His throat clogged for a second. He would make sure that trust wasn’t misplaced. Would make sure of her pleasure, even if it meant withholding his own.
He took her wrists and pulled them behind her, until they rested in the small of her back. Holding them there, he leaned down and kissed her, some weird feeling sliding up his spine and burrowing in the back of his head.
God, he wanted to do everything. Thoughts came in snatches that he struggled to catch hold of. “I want you on top. I want your hands like this.”
“Okay.” The word was breathless. Excited.
He sat on the bed, still holding her hands behind her, and she scrambled on top of him, until she was straddling him once again. He wanted to watch her. Wanted to see each movement of her hips, each expression that crossed that beautiful face of hers. Slowly he reclined on the mattress.
“Lift your hips, honey.” He wasn’t exactly sure how this was going to work, but hell if he didn’t want to try.
She raised up enough to free him. Then, looking at him, she found him, shifted until she was positioned over him. Then she sank onto him in tiny increments, slowly enveloping him in a way he’d never felt before. There was a sensuality to her that came naturally. There was nothing artificial, nothing scripted. His fingers entwined with hers, staying right there with her as she started to move. He should touch her, make sure she came to completion first, but there was something in her face. Something that said she didn’t need anything extra.
So instead of letting go of her hands, he used his hold to tip her forward until he could reach her breasts, letting his lips and tongue glide over her, hold her, suckle her.
Her breath came faster, and every once in a while a soft sound escaped, driving him wild. He’d needed this night. Needed to find a release he hadn’t found in a very long time.
He released her nipple and lifted his head up so he could capture her mouth as she rose and fell faster, her movements becoming jerky and uncoordinated. God. He wanted to be right there with her. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, mimicking what she was doing above him. Suddenly she pulled away from him and sat up, her hips pumping, pelvis rotating each time it met his body.
Hell, she was pleasuring herself. “Oh, sweetheart. Damn, you are killing me.”
Her face was intent, eyes tightly closed as she continued her movements. It was too much. He was going to...
She cried out, hips suddenly pumping hard, and he felt it. The pulsating squeeze and release on his shaft. He erupted, driving into her with a groan, mind blanking out for a few seconds, all thoughts obliterated as he hung in space, lost in his own incredible pleasure.
Kirsten relaxed against him for a few seconds, before rolling forward to lie half across his body, breathing hard. He let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.
He’d meant to bring her here, have sex with her and then drive her home. But that wasn’t enough. Not right now. Maybe it was the stupor of his climax. Maybe it was the unbridled sex itself. But he wanted more. Wanted her again. As dangerous or stupid as that might be.
So he held her as his mind finally began to unravel, a delicious lethargy beginning to steal over him as he relaxed completely. He didn’t ask her to stay, although the impulse was there, knocking on the door of his mind. He’d let her decide. He waited. Struggling to overcome the heaviness in his limbs, the satiation that was spreading through every cell of his body, until he finally gave in to it.
With one last tightening of his arms, he let his eyes close so the darkness could overtake him.