“It’s later.”
The words are soft with danger. But it’s the kind of danger that comes wrapped around a warrior male with a promise in his eyes. Thiago rests his shoulder against the doorjamb to my bedchamber in Ceres, his eyes sleepy and insolent, but I know he’s not here to discuss the Hallow, or Angharad.
One day he gave me. One day to rest and recover.
One day to hide in my rooms as I tried to process everything that had happened at Mistmere.
But he’s never been one to hide from me. Not for long.
“It is.” I close the book I’m reading with a snap. “One day closer to the moment my mother takes your head. Perhaps she’ll parade it on a pike. Or hang it above her throne.”
His eyes narrow as if to say, oh-so-that’s-the-way-it’s-going-to-be.
“One day closer to the day you choose me.”
“Is your sense of confidence usually so conflated? Or are you just so insufferably smug that you can’t see the risk?” My voice roughens. Curse it. I’ve been dwelling on this all day, and I wanted to sound logical and calm. “You made a deal that will cost you your life, and I will be the catalyst of your death! And you didn’t think to tell me?”
I want to fling the book at him.
Thiago slides onto the bed, taking the book from me as if he can read my mind. “You don’t love me. Not yet. I wanted to give you the chance to fall for me, without you feeling that you must.”
“I don’t….” I don’t know what to feel. Confused, mostly. I grind the palms of my hands against my eyes. “I trust you.” It’s a whisper. “And you’re charming and dangerous and… you’re like some sort of storm that’s swept into my life and blown me so far off course, I cannot see the shore anymore. Everything has changed. Everything feels like some sort of horribly wonderful dream I’ve found myself trapped in.” I draw my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on the top of them. “And then there’s you. Both the catalyst for this upheaval, and my one safe haven in the storm. And I honestly don’t know what I feel.”
“You can’t keep your eyes off me. That’s a start.”
I lower my palms. He’s smiling.
“You’re the one that keeps parading in front of me in various forms of skin-tight leather,” I accuse. “Was I not meant to look?”
“Oh, no,” he purrs. “You were definitely meant to notice.”
Leaning forward, he brushes his lips against my cheek. He’s so close, that I could turn and press my mouth to his, and turn this into something else.
I want to.
But there are still words to be said.
“Curse you,” I whisper, turning my face just so, my lips brushing against his. “I’m trying to be angry with you.”
“You owe me nothing, Vi. Not your feelings, not yourself, not if you don’t want me.” His lashes flutter against my skin. “I love you. I will always love you. But this kind of love does not demand anything from you, this kind of love is not a cage. If you cannot bring yourself to give your heart to me, then know this: You hold no blame for any of this. I loved you. And I made a dangerous, foolish bargain with your mother, because I was so certain of our destiny, that I could not see the trap around me. Your heart is a gift but if you cannot give it to me, it will never change how I feel about you. You bear no responsibility for any of this.”
And then he captures my face and deepens the kiss.
It’s so familiar. So intoxicating. I want to drown myself in him, and ignore all the doubts that plague me.
I want to pull him down onto the bed and take whatever chances we have.
But I can’t forget.
I shove him away angrily. “That pretty little speech sounds as though you want me to remember your words when all is said and done. And clearly, I loved you enough to defy my mother. So, yes, I feel some guilt. I need to fix this. Or I’ll never forgive myself.”
Nobody has ever risked their own life for mine.
“Trust in fate, Vi. Maia didn’t grant me a vision of you only to punish us. We were written in the stars.”
“I’m going to hit you with this book,” I tell him, reaching for it. “Destiny is not an answer to this problem. You make your own destiny. It’s the one time I agree with my mother.”
“Any solution we seek is twice as likely to get us killed,” he growls. “We’ve tried everything on this side of Seelie. The only possible means to break the curse are either dark magic, or bargains with eldritch beings, and you know what that means.”
Unseelie.
“So you haven’t tried everything.”
“It’s not safe to venture into Unseelie.”
My mind starts racing. Normally, I’d agree with him, but this is his potential execution we’re speaking about, and I don’t share his hopes in my memory. “We could take precautions. Or Eris. She seems to enjoy murdering unseelie creatures.”
“It’s not safe for me to enter Unseelie,” he growls out.
My breath comes slowly. He’s alluded to his past, though he swore he wouldn’t tell me the truth until the curse is broken.
“In what way?” I ask carefully. “Vengeful creatures who’ve sworn to have your head? Or the… Darkness?”
“Both.”
“How dangerous?”
“I couldn’t help you. Vi. Not even to save your life. I wouldn’t be able to use my powers there, for fear they’d overwhelm me. Or for fear that my enemies would feel it and come for me. I would be virtually defenseless.” His face shuts down. “And there’s no point discussing this, for we’re not going to find any answers there.”
Reaching out, he yanks the book out of my grasp.
“The Age of Myth and Magic.” He turns the book over. “If you wanted to know what it was like before the great wars, you could have asked.”
That’s not why I chose the book. “Excellent diversion.”
“I thought so too.” He finds the page I was reading and opens it, his eyebrows almost hitting his hairline. “I stand corrected. You’re not reading about the wars.” He turns the book this way and that, as I try to snatch it from his grasp. “I would say ‘By the Erlking’s hairy balls’, but I see they’re quite well trimmed. And…. Intimidatingly enormous.”
I finally get one hand on the book, but he fends me off with ridiculous ease.
“Give it back!”
“Another bookmarked page,” he teases, rifling the pages. “The Grimm. Not quite as well-endowed as the Erlking, though one can hardly tell with that sword he’s wielding. Are you sure this is suitable bedtime reading, Vi? If you wanted to scratch a certain itch, you should have called.”
“If I wanted to scratch an itch, I’d scratch it.”
His eyes heat.
And I grab the book with both hands.
“Don’t let me stop you.” He tackles me to the bed.
We roll, a motley assortment of limbs and hard flesh. I lose the book, but it no longer matters. Thiago pins me to the bed, wrists held on either side, and I can’t help surrendering.
We’re both breathing hard.
“Is this a better distraction?” he whispers, letting me go.
“Maybe.” I reach up and grab a fistful of hair, dragging his mouth toward mine for a lazy kiss.
Tension quivers through him. His tongue is firm and demanding, and I moan a little as his weight presses me into the mattress.
Breaking the kiss, he rests his forehead against my shoulder. “You ruin me, Vi. I should go. Before I break my word.”
He rolls toward the edge of the bed.
“Thiago….” I catch at his fingers.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he glances over his shoulder at me. “Yes?”
Somehow, I find the courage to put my wishes into words. I would rather face a dozen howling goblins, than admit to my feelings, but…. “You should stay.”
He glances down at our linked fingers. “In what capacity?”
“Guard my dreams,” I whisper, though it’s more than that.
I want to fall asleep in his arms, feeling his breath stir against my neck and his heartbeat kick against my back. I want what I’ve only experienced in those soft moments between sleep and waking—a single stolen moment of surrender, before the dream vanishes, leaving only the ghostly sensation of his touch in my bed.
Thiago turns, sliding back beneath the sheets and opening his arms to me. “As you wish,” he whispers.
And I don’t think about it.
I just curl into those strong arms and try to imagine a future where I could spend every night like this. No longer alone. No longer guarded. Safe. And loved.
Three weeks remain. And now I have incentive to break this fucking curse, no matter what I must do.
Tick tock.
Morning dawns, bringing with it a soft golden light that paints ripples across Thiago’s chest. Waking in his arms might be my new favorite thing, though I’ll never admit it. Lifting my head slightly, I examine his restful face, those eyelashes dark against his olive skin. My fingers stir, tempted to brush against his chiseled lips.
They’re so perfect, though perhaps my judgement has something to do with his kisses.
If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think I was besotted.
“You snore,” he says suddenly, and I jerk my fingers back with a squeak, as those lashes flutter open. “I’d almost forgotten.”
“I do not.”
“Like a troll.”
Stabbing him in the ribs with a finger, I scowl at his sexy smile. Every inch of him is sleepy and rumpled. I like him best like this, I think.
He captures my fingers and bites them lightly, his gaze falling to my throat.
“Nope, nope, nope!” I push at him as he leans closer with a heated look in his eyes. “Don’t you dare. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet. And it’s morning.”
I throw the blankets off, but he throws them back over me and pins them there.
“So it is.”
“Morning,” I rasp. “Which means one less day to break this curse.”
Thiago stills, the muscle in his biceps flexing as he hovers over me. “I thought we’d discussed this.”
“The discussion wasn’t finished. You told me there’s nothing in Seelie that can break the curse. That leaves the north.” I push myself upright. “Tell me everything we’ve tried in the past.”
And so he does.
Sorcerers. Magi. Witches. None of them can break the curse. None of them even know what the spell is, or who cast it. Baylor thought it was Unseelie work, which definitely means dark magic, though how my mother got her hands on such a spell, I’ll never know.
“So, there’s no hope then.” It’s starting to hit me. I’m going to lose him. I’m going to lose myself.
Thiago takes so long to reply that I almost suspect he’s not going to.
“There’s someone we can ask,” Thiago finally says.
“Why does it sound like you’d rather gouge your eyes out with a spoon?”
He grimaces, his biceps flexing as he rolls his head toward me. “Because it involves going deep into Unseelie territory and seeking out one of its most dangerous members. There’s a reason I’ve not taken this path in the past. And I can’t help you. I can’t protect you.”
Deep into the heart of Unseelie. He’s not the only one who hesitates. The Unseelie kingdoms are filled with creatures that would eat you alive. And that’s probably one of the more merciful deaths.
“Who?”
“The Morai.”
It’s not a name I know.
“They’re three ancient Unseelie,” he tells me, “who can grant you answers to any three questions you ask. You just have to be careful that you’re asking the right questions.”
I draw my knees up to my chest, my hair tumbling over my shoulders.
Unseelie. The answer lies there. It has to.
I glance at him. “You don’t need to protect me. You’ve spent thirteen years trying to be my shield. Maybe it’s time I became yours.”
His face darkens, but I press my finger to his lips to stall him.
“Let me be your queen. Let me do this.”
Thiago bites my finger. “You know not what you’re facing.”
“It can’t be worse than my mother.” I toss the blankets aside, slipping from the bed. “And we have no time to lose. Get out of bed. Let’s rouse the others. We have a trip to plan.”