I was lying in bed clutching my phone. My sisters had gone to pick up my niece and nephews from school, and Sonia had gone back to the office to finalize the details of my upcoming trip. I had already drafted an official email for the rest of the members of the board where I informed them that in the end I had decided to get away from it all and enjoy a vacation. A long one. That’s the benefit of having an obscene amount of stock in the company.
I had also written and sent an email to my department to share with them, in a very formal manner, my profound disappointment in their behavior the previous week.
I still had a window of peace before Candela came back home. An album was playing that reminded me of my time in the United States, when I went there to do my master’s. I tried to make friends, but everyone was too competitive. Maybe that was my problem: I didn’t like competing the same way I didn’t like taking risks.
I had always walked in the shadows. I had always been responsible. I had always considered the possibilities, the results they could lead to. I had never thrown myself down one path without looking back. Until I ran out of my own wedding.
What if what Sonia said was true? What if there really was something that wasn’t working? Well, I bailed on our wedding; there had to be some explanation. Maybe…maybe a part of me was scared to really throw myself in headfirst before I experienced more. I had never done anything crazy. I had never made a mistake or had my heart broken; everything before Filippo had just been a rehearsal.
But…what would be the point of all this time lying fallow if I didn’t change? A little. I’m not talking about a trendy haircut or a new red sports car. What if…I just opened myself up to the world?
It wasn’t easy, and I regretted it two hundred times before he answered, but I felt proud of myself for the first question I drafted in a newly started conversation with an almost unknown contact that…was about to change my life.
Margot
So what about you, what are you sad about?
David
What are you talking about? Who is this?
Margot
The weird girl your ex thinks you’ve involved with.
David
Ah! Margot.
Margot
Which isn’t a Galician name.
David
WhatsApp suits you.
You’re nicer.
Margot
I am nice.
David
You’re right. There’s an abyss between the two terms.
Margot
Are you going to answer me? Why are you sad?
David
The love of my life left me. Don’t you think that’s enough?
Margot
Yes.
David
Did you see her? She’s perfect.
Margot
A goddess.
David
If you’re going to be sarcastic, I’ll block you.
Margot
Sarcastic? Your ex is a goddess. She almost made me reconsider my heterosexuality.
David
I would convert to Mormonism for her.
Margot
Dude, with the phone you have, you’re only one step from churning your own butter.
David
You’re thinking of the Amish, not Mormons.
Margot
Can you explain to me why a complete stranger is giving me religion lessons?
David
More like general culture, but if what you’re really asking is why you finally decided to text me, I’ll tell you it’s because it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know who has no reason to judge you.
Margot
Everybody judges. It’s inevitable.
David
Is that why you’re sad? And don’t try to tell me you’re not.
Did someone make the wrong conclusion about you?
Margot
No. I lost the love of my life too.
David
According to your criteria, that’s not a good enough reason to be so sad, so there must be something else.
Margot
Typing…
Typing…
Online…
Typing…
Online…
No.
David
You know what really doesn’t make sense? Texting to a stranger who you can vent to and who isn’t going to judge you, even if you tell him your father is an otter, and then still lying to him.
Margot
Clear something up for me, what does “otter” mean in your slang?
David
I’m just getting home from work and my only aspiration is to have a passionate love affair with a ham sandwich and a shower, and you’re lying to me and talking to me about otters.
Margot, smh, what am I going to do with you? I don’t deserve this.
Margot
I didn’t mean to bother you.
David
Margot!! Please! I’m fucking around. Come on, let’s do something. I promised to talk to you on WhatsApp, but it’s actually more complicated than talking in person. What are you doing tomorrow from 9 to 10?
Margot
In the morning or night?
David
That’s why I like you, pretending you have other plans.
Margot
I’m just deciding if you’re an idiot or…
David
The other one. I choose the other option, whatever it is.
Tomorrow at 9. In the morning.
I’ll send you the address now.
I’ll wait five minutes. If you stand me up, I’ll bounce and block you, but with no hard feelings. Okay?
Margot
Okay.