Chapter Twenty-Six

GOING BACK TO school didn’t turn out to be as bad as Molly feared, though it was like, really embarrassing when the teacher made everyone clap and chorus, ‘Welcome back, Molly,’ when she walked in the class. She’d just wanted to curl herself up in her Prada purse and zip herself in when that happened. Still it was all right after, because amazingly no-one took the mickey out of her, or said anything nasty – in fact, they were all really friendly. She had a feeling Rusty had told them about her mum, so they were all like, feeling sorry for her now, but she didn’t say anything, because she didn’t want to talk about that to anyone – it was none of their business, and anyway she’d only end up crying.

Rusty was hanging around her all the time now, but she supposed that was OK. She was still horrible to him, but he never seemed to mind, he just blinked out through those jam-jar glasses like he didn’t really get it, and then did a scary smile with his braces and teeth. Actually, only she was allowed to be mean to him. If anyone else was, she just got hold of his arm and walked him away, and now no-one was really being that bad to him any more. Her mum and Michelle kept saying she should invite him round for a meal, but no way was she going to do that – he might start thinking he was her boyfriend, or something, and like, no way. Brother maybe, because he’d be kind of cool to have on tap doing her homework, but boyfriend – puhleeze. Anyway, he couldn’t be her brother either, because her cousin Robbie would sort of be that, if he came to live with them, but him and Rusty would probably get on, so Rusty wouldn’t be left out. It was just a shame they were both boys, because she wouldn’t mind having a sister, and even if Michelle’s baby turned out to be a girl, she’d be like, much too young. So Molly was considering suggesting to Michelle that she and Tom could maybe like, adopt one of the Afghan girls from the camp where Michelle used to work. It seemed the kind of thing they’d do, and Tahira, who Molly had been emailing lately, who was thirteen and like dead pretty and didn’t have any family and would really love to come to England, could come and live with them.

Anyway, Molly didn’t really think very much about that, only now and again when her mind wandered off on its own, but then she’d remember her mum wouldn’t be there when all that happened, and then everything came to a stop, because she didn’t want to think about her mum going anywhere without her, even though she knew she had to.

Michelle was like, really cool now Molly was getting to know her, and Tom was just awesome, though he’d gone off to Washington yesterday to see some senators or congressionals or something, and Molly wasn’t sure when he’d be back. She understood some of the story he was working on, but it was quite complicated really and impossible to keep up with, because all the filming was happening while she was at school. Laurie had taken some shots of her too though, strolling in the woods with her mum and Trotty, having breakfast together, and even doing some homework together the other night. She was going to make a special copy of that for Molly to keep. It was all going on in their house at the moment, something always happening, or someone always there – Molly just hoped she and Michelle managed to get on the computer tonight, so they could carry on with their arrangements to make one of her mum’s dreams come true in time for her birthday.

Now, she was just getting off the bus on her way home from school, when she heard someone calling out to her. She looked round, frowning against the sun, then her heart turned over as she saw Allison Fortescue-Bond standing on the other side of the road. Immediately Molly started to walk on.

‘Molly, please can I talk to you?’ Allison shouted. ‘It won’t take long.’

Molly was horribly torn. She really wanted to run away, but for some weird reason she was starting to feel sort of sorry for Allison. She must be feeling a bit stupid standing over there shouting and being ignored, which was no more than she deserved, but in the end Molly decided that maybe there wasn’t any harm in at least finding out what she had to say. So, after waiting for a cyclist to whizz by, she crossed the street, keeping her expression set on hoity even though she could see that Allison wasn’t about to pick a fight, and when she got to the other side she said, ‘Well? What do you want?’

Allison turned a deep shade of red as she said, ‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what we did. It was horrible and mean and like, I never really wanted to do it, but I know that’s not a good enough excuse, and I shouldn’t have laughed that night when Brad came in, I was just drunk and stupid and …’ She took a breath. ‘Anyway, my mum says I should have stopped Cecily and Donna coming to the house, because you’re a nice girl and didn’t deserve to be treated like that, while they’re like, all screwed up and … Well anyway, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, not just because my mum says I have to, and that I can’t have my computer or DVD or anything back again until I do, but because I like …’ She shrugged, ‘Well like, I really miss you, and you were like, my best friend, and I don’t have anything to do with Cecily and Donna any more, not even at school. So I was like, hoping that you like, might, you know … If you want to, that is. Anyway, even if you don’t, I’m still sorry and wish we’d never done that horrible thing to you.’

As she finished Molly let her eyes drift off across the road to where Kylie and Greta were watching, then she was looking at kind of nowhere as she started to say, ‘I’m not into hating my mum any more. I mean, I never really hated her anyway.’

‘No, I know,’ Allison said. ‘I don’t suppose I hate mine either, I just wish she didn’t always get so drunk.’

Molly’s eyes came to hers. ‘If you want us to be friends again then you’d better come to my house to make sure it’s all right.’

Allison nodded. ‘Can I come now?’ she asked.

Molly shrugged. ‘OK. I’d better just go and tell my other friends that I’ll see them in school tomorrow.’

A few minutes later Katie stared in blank astonishment as Molly waltzed into the kitchen with Allison Fortescue-Bond behind her – but even more unexpected was the litany Allison immediately stumbled into.

‘I’ve come to apologize, Mrs Kiernan,’ she said, ‘to you as well as to Molly. I’m really, really sorry for what happened. Molly’s the best friend I ever had, and I know I don’t deserve to have any friends after what I did, but if you’ll let me have another chance, I promise I won’t ever do anything like it again. I even promise to go away and never come back if that’s what you say I have to do. I just would really like to have Molly as my friend again, even though I know I don’t deserve to have any friends after what I did. She’s like, really cool, and my mum says she always liked Molly best of everyone. And I do too.’

Katie had no chance to respond before Molly said, ‘Allison doesn’t see those girls any more, Mum, except in school, but she doesn’t have anything to do with them there either, and it was all them really.’

Katie turned back to Allison, still blinking at the speed of the reconciliation, though touched by how much Allison seemed to value her friendship with Molly. ‘I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t angry about what you did to Molly,’ she said carefully, ‘you caused her a lot of hurt. However, it’s not easy to say you’re sorry, and you’ve just done a pretty good job of it, so if Molly’s prepared to forgive you, I am too. Just no more secret cults or bogus boyfriends … All right, all right,’ she protested, as Molly leapt on her and started to dance her round.

‘Thank you, Mum. Thank you, thank you,’ Molly cried. ‘Where’s Michelle? She’s got to meet Allison properly now. You wait,’ she told Allison, ‘Michelle’s like, really cool. Not a bit like I thought …’

‘Spare my blushes out there,’ Michelle shouted from the sitting room, where she and Laurie were viewing some of the rushes.

‘Come on,’ Molly demanded, grabbing Allison and dragging her across the kitchen. ‘Oh, and me and Michelle have got like this surprise we’re planning …’ She glanced at Katie. ‘I can’t tell you what it is now, but it is like, so cool, isn’t it Michelle?’

‘The coolest,’ Michelle confirmed, ‘even Tom thinks so, and he wants you to call him later, because he has something to ask you.’

‘Tom is just like, amazing,’ Molly told Allison. ‘You’ll meet him when he comes back. He knows everything and everybody and Laurie’s making a programme about him … Well, actually it’s about Mum, but Tom’s in it too. Anyway, this is Michelle, who’s my auntie, but I just call her Michelle.’

As Katie watched from the kitchen she could feel a lump forming in her throat but she continued to smile, for it was doing her heart so much good to see how everyone was closing in around Molly now, as though absorbing her into a protective realm of love and support and everything she needed to keep her going and carry her through. It was exactly what Katie had hoped and prayed for, and she felt especially moved by Allison’s return, for everyone needed a best friend, and Katie had sensed how much Molly was missing hers, even though she hadn’t wanted to admit it. So the time was almost right for Katie to let go now. She sensed that as clearly as if someone was telling her. She hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, but she was becoming tired in a way she hadn’t been before, and strangely peaceful, in spite of the pain. She just wanted to hang on for the grand surprise Molly was planning, and to share with Molly the very special gift she had for her too.

Had Tom been a more impressionable man, the number of senior officials who’d passed through the rather unassuming front door of his Adams Morgan apartment this past week might have dazzled him. The town was buzzing with rumours, largely fed by Max, though Tom had yet to confirm or deny any of them, but that wasn’t stopping anyone wanting to get their own take on what they’d heard.

Elliot was in Washington too, helping keep track of what was being said and by whom. At the same time they were preparing a series of articles to run in The New York Times and Los Angeles Times to coincide with Laurie’s programme, for they’d taken the decision not to sign the latest agreement that had turned up two days ago, that would stop them going to press.

‘They’ve got to know they can’t contain this now,’ Tom had said after reading the contract through. ‘It’s gone too far, it’s being talked about all over, so this here doesn’t amount to any more than some last-ditch posturing.’

‘Then we ignore the injunction and wait for their next move,’ Elliot had responded.

There had been no word since, not even a call from the lawyers. So now they were pushing ahead, seeking as many quotes and opinions as they could get from experts in the fields of defence, military and intelligence, while still half-expecting someone to storm in through the door any minute and march them off in cuffs.

‘Did you see this fax from Farukh?’ Tom asked, glancing up from where he was slumped on a battered blue sofa surrounded by papers and half-eaten cartons of Nepalese food. ‘He’s hired himself a film crew in Karachi and he’s already got interviews with a couple of the fundamentalists who are claiming to have been approached in this. They’ll say anything to hurt America, we know that, but it’s still going to make for some uncomfortable viewing in certain quarters here, and Laurie’s going to have one helluva programme on her hands.’

‘Then let’s just hope the British government doesn’t step in to block transmission,’ Elliot remarked, looking at his mobile as it started to ring.

‘Do you think that’s likely?’ Tom asked.

‘Actually, no,’ Elliot responded, and took the call.

A few minutes later, having said very little, he rang off and turned back to Tom. ‘Well, that’s just gone some way to endorsing one of my favourite theories,’ he remarked.

Tom was intrigued.

Elliot’s expression was ironical as he said, ‘I think we’re agreed that our mysterious source has to be way up there to have access to the kind of information he has?’

Tom nodded.

‘So it’s an inside job to break the neo-con stranglehold on the Republican party?’

Again Tom nodded.

‘The call I just took came from someone at a very high level in Downing Street, and though it wasn’t even close to a confirmation, my belief is that our own PM has been working behind the scenes with someone in Washington to help break that stranglehold.’

Tom’s eyes widened, then narrowed. A moment later he started to grin. ‘It’s wild, but it makes sense,’ he declared. ‘The top man wants out from whatever agreements he’s made with those guys.’

‘Especially one that has the British people being exploited with a terrorist threat for American hard-right purposes,’ Elliot added.

Tom was still weighing it up. ‘I wouldn’t mind betting he wasn’t even consulted on that,’ he stated, ‘which is why he’s got himself involved in a scheme to bring them down.’ He was shaking his head in amazement. ‘So who’s he been colluding with over here?’

‘It could be that even your top guy is finding it hard to stomach the neo-cons now.’

Tom thought about that. ‘The ballast has turned into deadweight,’ he said. ‘Could be, because they’ve overplayed their hand badly this last couple of years, but he’s their boy, so I’d be more inclined to put my money on someone at the top of the intelligence services. It would be great payback for the way they’ve been forced to take the rap for everything from bad policy-making, to prisoner abuse, to outright government lies this past eighteen months.’

Daniel Allbringer’s pallor was pinched as he walked beside Deborah Gough in the gardens at Langley.

‘… so, whereas on the one hand,’ she was saying, ‘we can claim to have done everything possible to contain and control this situation, I believe the time has now come to accept that the press injunction isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, which means we can no longer avoid the battle being taken into the public domain. There are too many rumours, too much speculation and far too much pressure being put on us, as well as those we serve, to be able to rely on mere legal agreements to protect us from further media scrutiny.’

Allbringer swallowed. ‘So what action are you proposing?’ he asked, feeling certain he already knew the answer.

‘Pre-emptive, of course,’ she responded. ‘It’s what we’re all about, so we shall instruct the Washington Post to run with their exclusive on Tom Chambers in the morning.’

It was exactly what Allbringer had expected, and the last thing he wanted to hear.

‘I’d like you to take charge of that,’ she told him, smiling at a colleague who was passing.

Allbringer’s shock stiffened his gait. She was going to trust him to trigger the case against Chambers, when he knew very well she suspected him of being behind the leaks? What was she expecting? Him to hang himself completely?

She started to speed up. ‘I’ve a meeting in ten minutes,’ she told him, ‘so I’ll leave that with you. If there’s anything you need, you know where to find me.’

As she walked on she was smiling blandly to herself, for she knew very well that it didn’t matter what the hell the Washington Post printed now, Tom Chambers was going to win this, because there was simply no way he couldn’t. The P2OG and its covert tactics were about to be royally exposed, careers and reputations would be left in ruins, and the neo-conservative chokehold on power would be blasted apart.

With a light spring in her step she trotted up to a side door of the building and pressed in a code to enter. The fact that she’d never met Tom Chambers appealed greatly to her sense of the sublime, though it was a pity, she was thinking, because in spite of their political differences she was certain they’d get along. Still, she had the great satisfaction of knowing she’d chosen well when she’d been approached by the Director of Intelligence, his British equivalent known only as M, and two prominent members of her own government to select a journalist to play this game with her, for Chambers had achieved everything she’d intended him to, and perhaps even more. Actually he’d surprised her a few times, and had impressed her a lot, but most of all he’d instilled in her a sense of how determined he, and reporters like him, were to expose the covert actions being taken by certain factions within their own governments in the name of profit, power and political gain.

So now all that remained was for her to disband the Special Operations Executive, rejoin Special Operations Command and set up a strategy for withdrawing the P2OG, while dealing with the blowback for their part in its existence. It was going to be a busy time, with more pressure on the US government than it could probably withstand, and not much opportunity to sit back and enjoy the neo-con disintegration. However, she’d be sure to make a space in her calendar for the transmission of Laurie Forbes’s programme that should set it all in motion. The tech guys in Q-Tel would send a live feed from London through to her office, or maybe the Director was going to want it piped into his. Whichever, it was going to make extremely interesting viewing for all the invisible architects of its basis, including Nancy Goodman, who, in time-honoured CIA tradition, was about to receive a large financial settlement in exchange for her services, and her silence.

It was almost impossible, Katie was finding, not to be swept along in all the excitement of the programme, for everything was really hotting up now, especially over there in Washington, where, Tom had informed them, several high-level resignations had already been offered and accepted – and that was merely in anticipation of what was about to hit. Just imagine what the reaction was going to be when it finally did. In many ways Katie wished she could be over there, for she’d get such a kick out of watching the spectacular downfall at close quarters. However, this wasn’t the kind of sensation that would fizzle out in a matter of days, or even weeks, it was going to take months for the full impact to be felt, and the ensuing hearings and commissions were likely to rumble on for years. So she’d have to content herself with the slightly lesser thrill of knowing she’d at least played a part in it all, which was enough. Despite all the excitement, she couldn’t deny a certain relief that between them Tom, Elliot and Laurie were organizing everything so that she wouldn’t have to deal with any of the immediate aftermath herself, for it was inevitably going to be huge.

It was always fascinating, she was thinking now, as she drove Michelle and Molly out of the village towards the main road, how perspectives changed with circumstance. What had seemed so vitally important to her a week ago, or even yesterday, wasn’t ringing all the same bells now. Not that world issues ever ceased to matter, heavens, she’d be the last person ever to say that, but a sense of achievement on a global scale wasn’t necessarily more satisfying than a little triumph on the personal front, even if it was only driving a car. Indeed, in their small world it meant a great deal for her to be at the wheel, since it was reassuring all three of them that she wasn’t about to go floating off to paradise yet, though she had to admit the prospect of a world with no pain or exhaustion, no failures or fear, no earthly torments at all, was definitely starting to have an appeal.

Catching Michelle’s eye in the rear-view mirror she winked, and pressed her foot down a little harder. Unlike Molly, Michelle was perfectly aware of where they were going, and though Katie knew she approved, it was also clear that she was finding it hard to cope with. Which was why Katie wanted to keep it all as upbeat as she could, because the last thing she wanted was for this to turn into a morbid memory for Molly, when it was supposed to be quite the reverse.

‘So you two have finally finished whispering, have you?’ she said, glancing in the mirror again. ‘I feel like a chauffeur who can’t keep secrets up in front here.’

‘Yeah, but we’ve got a lot to talk about,’ Molly told her, ‘because it’s only two weeks to your birthday and there’s still a lot to organize – and don’t start going off trying to guess what we’re doing again, because you just show yourself up saying really dumb things.’

Katie chuckled.

‘Did you speak to Tom last night?’ Michelle asked Molly.

‘Yeah, and he’s totally cool about, you know, but it was his idea so he’d be a bit weird if he wasn’t.’

Michelle had to laugh, while loving Tom for being so attentive to Molly and her plans when he had so much else going on. ‘Laurie’s sending down a rough cut of the programme at the weekend, did she tell you?’ she asked Katie.

‘I can hardly wait. Are we allowed to give notes?’

‘You can always try,’ Michelle laughed.

Inside her waxen skin Katie was twinkling. ‘As Tom’s getting a copy too, I guess we’ll leave the editorial input to him,’ she said. ‘When’s Elliot coming back, do you know?’

‘I’m told in time for transmission, so Laurie’s not left on her own in London dealing with the fallout here.’

Katie frowned. ‘So it’ll be just us three watching it in Membury Hempton?’ she said. ‘Seems a bit damp-squibbish. Maybe we should whoop it up and invite Judy and Dave round?’

‘Oh yeah, like really, out there,’ Molly declared.

‘Rusty can come too,’ Katie offered.

‘Very funny. Anyway, where are we going, because we’re like, heading in the direction of nowhere.’

‘I think we’re like, here,’ Katie said, indicating to pull into a layby.

Molly looked around. ‘I know you’re not serious,’ she said, ‘because I mean, like, there’s nothing here.’

‘Yes there is,’ Katie assured her. ‘Can’t you see the trees? Come on, get out, I’ve got something to show you.’

‘You go on ahead,’ Michelle said. ‘I’ll catch you up.’

As she watched them trudge into the little woodland, she remained in the back of the car, trying not to see the starkly naked branches against the backdrop of a colourless sky, for their symbolism was simply too harsh an indicator of what she already knew they were about to face. The time was drawing close for Katie to leave now, and though she was trying hard to keep cheerful and strong, Michelle understood very well that bringing Molly here today was probably one of the last trips out she would make.

Inside the barren little copse the air was perfectly still. The ground was covered in sodden leaves, the brush netted in silvery cobwebs. Branches dripped randomly into the gloom. As Katie looked around at the skeletal trees whose limbs twisted sharply, yet somehow comfortingly around each other, she wondered if, without its glorious summer or autumn foliage, she’d recognize her own. However, once she saw it there was no doubt in her mind, for though it was as naked and enmeshed as the others, to her it appeared as a gleaming white beacon on the darkest night.

‘Do you see it?’ she said to Molly.

Molly screwed up her nose. ‘What?’ she asked.

Katie smiled, and linking her arm tighter took her right up to the tree. ‘It’s a hornbeam,’ she told her. ‘It has all kinds of healing qualities that I’ll tell you about later, but it’s a very special kind of tree, and this one here is ours, because we pay two pounds fifty every month to keep it alive.’

Molly’s green eyes moved up over the bark to the spiky grey limbs above.

‘I could have asked Michelle to do this,’ Katie said softly after a while, ‘but it’s you I need to tell really, because you’re growing up now, and because you’re my daughter, and because no-one else in the world matters more to me than you.’ She swallowed and forced a smile. ‘When the time comes, Molly, I’d like you to bring my ashes here.’

Molly’s eyes immediately came to hers and flooded with tears. ‘No, Mum, no,’ she gasped.

Katie smiled again, and pulled her into her arms.

‘I don’t want you to go, Mum,’ Molly said, clinging to her.

‘I know,’ Katie whispered, ‘but I’ll never really leave you, my love, not completely. We’ll always be a part of each other, and nothing’s ever going to change that, but we both have to face the fact that it’s coming time for me to let you go on with your life now, which is why I’ve brought you here. I’d like this to be our special place, Molly, somewhere just for us, where you can come if you need to talk to me, or simply to feel me close. I’ll always be with you anyway, but sometimes life gets all fraught and crowded, and you might need to feel a bit more private. This hornbeam will let you do that. You just have to put your hands on it, or your cheek, and … Come on, try … You’ll see what I mean.’

From where she was standing Michelle could see them beside the tree, arms around each other, cheeks resting on the bark, and she doubted anything would ever touch her more deeply. She remained where she was, watching as they talked and even laughed once or twice, and when finally she sensed the time was right she began walking across the clearing to join them.

‘Come and listen to Molly’s poem,’ Katie said, as she reached them.

Michelle turned to Molly and was surprised by the humour shining through her teary eyes.

‘We came here, my mum and I,’ Molly began, ‘and through the trees we could see the sky, she said to me this will be our very special place, and I said, couldn’t you pick somewhere a bit warmer?’

Michelle laughed and then cried and held them both tight. ‘That’s the worst poem I ever heard,’ she declared.

‘She has a gift,’ Katie said proudly.

As their laughter eventually faded they placed their cheeks on the bark again and held onto each other. Katie wasn’t sure if they were feeling the same stirring of energy that she was, but all that really mattered was that they’d claimed this big old hornbeam as theirs now. Any time they felt like it they could come here and know that somehow, in its own special way, it would link them. She smiled privately to herself, for, just as she’d hoped, this one last fix on the tree was giving her the strength to stay long enough to let Molly make one last dream come true.