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Traffic was still horrible. The weather deteriorated quickly from sleet to a steady light snow. The trip from Rutherford to the Pennsylvania state border was normally a little over an hour. We’d been trying to get out of New Jersey for over two hours not including the time getting to the rental place.
Tamar spent half the time video chatting with Stephen. Their mushy talk was enough to drive me crazy, particularly with Kim sitting next to me. I had to admit I’d felt off for the past few weeks. My emotions were raw, and they hit me like a sledgehammer when she opened the door at Stephen’s house. They always did when I was with her, but now it was worse. Missing her got harder every day. Now that I was sitting with her, I wanted to play that game couples played in high school – get back together even though we knew it wouldn’t last just so I could see her smile at me again. So I could feel the warmth of her hands and wrap my arms around her again, take in her perfume and kiss her. Even if it wasn’t going to work, I could have another memory. Maybe one that was better than the episode playing in my mind.
“Where are you going?”
Kim stepped into a pair of stilettos and pulled on her coat. “It’s Sunday morning. Church.”
“I thought we’d have breakfast. I was planning to cook.”
“You should have made it earlier.”
“Kim, you don’t even live here. What church are you going to?”
“The one on the corner.”
“What one on the corner?”
“There’s a church on every corner, Clyde. Interesting how you never see them.”
“Wait. You came up for the weekend to see me and now you’re going to take two hours to go to some church that’s not even yours because it’s Sunday morning.”
“Yes.” Kim sighed. “I wish you would join me.”
“And be what? A hypocrite.”
“You believe in God.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You do. You don’t realize how much you mention prayer or say thank God.” She stepped closer to me and placed a hand on my arm. “You also have a Bible. It looks pretty well read to me.”
I moved out of her grasp. “That was my mother’s.”
“Oh.” She hesitated before asking, “Was she a religious woman?”
“More spiritual than religious. My mother attended church twice a week, but she always told me – go to church in my heart.” I pointed to my chest. “She loved church, but she wasn’t like you. You’re religious to a fault.”
She couldn’t hide the hurt in her eyes. She kept her tone even when she replied, “I certainly cannot compete with a deceased mother, but are we hurling insults now?”
“I’m saying, the church on the corner is not your church.”
“But the pastor will likely be speaking my language.” Kim planted a fist on her hip. “You don’t get it. This is who I am. Last night when I slept in your guest bedroom – alone – that’s who I am. You have to decide if you can be with me as I am – without insulting me.”
“What about you, Kim? Can you love me as I am?”
Kim shook her head, it was not disbelief, but pity. “I already love you. I’m trying to figure out the rest.” She picked up her bag and walked to the door. She did a half turn in my direction. “Since you mentioned it, tell me, when was the last time you went to church in your heart?”
“Clyde.” I felt her hand on my arm. I looked down. She pulled her hand away. I raised my eyes to meet hers. “Did you hear Tamar?”
I shook my head. “No, I was thinking about some stuff.”
Tamar’s plea came from the rear. “I need to use a restroom.”
I nodded. Checked the sign coming up and exited the highway.
We all visited the restroom and decided to grab sub sandwiches and chips to take care of our hunger for the rest of the drive.
We crossed into Pennsylvania and continued on Interstate 80. The snow was really coming down now, but we only had another forty miles. Just when I was getting excited about this ride ending, we came to a stop. It didn’t take long to realize there had been a serious accident involving three tractor trailers and a car. The flashing overhead highway sign advised us to take the detour.
