At time of writing, it’s been fifteen years since Cameron pushed me over that visual arts table. It’s been five years since I moved out of home for the second time. Life has carried on.
Dani completed her acting degree, and is in the middle of building an amazing career as one of the most interesting theatre artists in the country. We don’t talk much, but we see each other now and then.
I’m still very close with Ted and Donna. Donna’s role at the university developed to a leadership position. I cannot tell you the number of people I’ve met in the arts and education sectors who tell me, unprompted, that Donna changed their lives at university. Donna has only the vaguest idea of how she affects her students. Ted continues to be an outstanding father, husband and friend. I still occasionally babysit their two boys.
Amber is having an amazing career as one of the most influential arts producers in Queensland. We are still best friends.
James had a long-term boyfriend for many years, and is in the middle of an exploding career. He lives with Amber, and we talk and work together regularly.
Ravi splits his time between Australia and Korea, where he teaches and does amazing work with disenfranchised youth. He remains one of the most remarkable human beings I’ve ever met. We’re still best friends.
Nina became a high-school teacher. She remains one of the smartest people I know, and one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever seen in a classroom. We’re not as close as we used to be, but we still talk from time to time.
Immediately after our time together, Rachel had several serious relationships with women. We’ve fallen out of contact.
Tiff and I managed to reconnect a few years back when our professional lives intersected. She’s the proud mother of a new baby, and is happily married.
After a decade of having never said goodbye, an intensive Facebook search finally uncovered Mary. She lives far away. I messaged her and we had a brief conversation, both expressing our happiness at the other’s adult life. Mary is well, and she is a mother. We haven’t talked since.
A quick Facebook search reveals Cameron to be a concrete labourer, and happily in love.
I don’t know where Ray is.
I don’t know where Simon is.
Mum and Dad have both retired. They have health issues, both mental and physical, but are happy most of the time. After a few years of unsettled communication, we finally got around to figuring out how to have a grown child–older parent relationship. I talk to them regularly.
Andy and Chrissy still live with Mum and Dad. I don’t talk to them often, but we have a happy relationship.
After a few months of living by myself, I asked a very lovely woman named Emily out on a date. We had worked together on a play.
When I texted her asking for a coffee, she said yes. The coffee became lunch, and we ended up talking for five hours. It was the easiest conversation I had ever had.
Emily’s the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s one of the greatest humans I’ve ever met. I’m grateful for her every day.
After being together for a couple of years, we got married. Amber was best man. Ravi was a groomsman. My brothers made a speech that made everyone cry, even though it was entirely harvested from popular culture. It was one of the best days of my life. Our families came together and danced and laughed.
Quite unexpectedly, I find myself with a life that I never thought I deserved.
I can’t tell you how to be happy.
Sometimes, I still struggle. I still have periods where I suffer from anxiety and depression.
But I’m also happy a lot of the time.
It happens without warning.
I’m baking a cake and listening to an audiobook. I’m solving a sudoku puzzle. I’m laughing with my friends over a boardgame. I’m sitting with Emily and talking about our plans for the day.
And then, quietly, and with the most delicious lightness, a feeling gently taps me on the shoulder.
It’s something deep and familiar. It’s something of air. A fragile energy.
It’s happiness. Staring back at me, and smiling. It’s a version of myself that I never thought I’d find.
I’m not always great at this, but I try to take a moment and breathe. To smile at it. Nod hello.
Yes, I am happy.
Yes, this is good.
Yes, life is okay.
Then I go about my day.
I carry on living.