Why might you be forced to do this someday? For one thing, most hungry predators are incapable of scaling cliffs. They’re a safe place to get some shut-eye (so long as you don’t fall off, that is).

HOW TO DO IT

1.If you’re lucky, all the lions and tigers and bears that might be hot on your heels will give you enough time to gather the supplies you’ll need. First, find some fibrous plants that will make good rope. Dogbane and milkweed are plentiful in many North American forests, and they’re great for this sort of thing. Look for stalks that are brown and tall.

2.Strip off the outer bark and take out the fibrous interior of the plant. Remove any little bits of wood and fasten it all together. You’ll need at least 40 feet of rope.

3.You’ll also need a makeshift hammock. If you’ve got enough freshly made rope lying around—and plenty of time on your hands—you could try making one. An animal skin is a quicker and, perhaps, more practical alternative. Track down an elk, deer, or another animal large enough to make a good hammock. Kill it, skin it, and remove all the tissue and fat. Ideally, you would then stretch, salt, and dry the skin (a process that usually takes several weeks). You probably don’t have that kind of time, though. If you’re feeling particularly cocky, ambitious, and/or bored, you could try using the skins to construct a portaledge. These hangable tents are more comfortable than hammocks. Cliff climbers love them, and they’ll keep the rain off your head.

4.Because you’re not properly drying the animal skin, you’ll want to double or even triple the layers in your hammock. Using a sharp object, poke two holes in either side of your new (and likely very smelly) hammock and attach two lengths of rope to them. If you’ve constructed a portaledge, do the same with it.

5.You’ll also need bolts or spikes that will secure your hammock/portaledge to the cliff. Ideally, you’d have a few bolt anchors at your disposal. Forge some sturdy spikes, and while you’re at it, make a hammer and a carabiner. You’ll need at least eight spikes.

6.If you’re beginning to think that this is an extraordinarily stupid idea, well, you’re probably right about that. Nevertheless, find yourself a cliff and create a makeshift harness for yourself out of the rope. Cut the remainder into four or more strips. Sling them over your shoulder along with the hammock/portaledge. Step into the harness and connect the carabiner to it.

7.Pound a spike into the rock face and attach the first strip of rope to it and the other side to your carabiner. Start climbing. If you run into trouble, the rope should prevent you from falling all the way down to the bottom of the cliff. Pound a second spike into the rock face, tie the next line of rope to your carabiner, and remove the first one. Repeat this process until you’re high enough to avoid the reach of predators and/or find a lovely view of the landscape below.

8.Drive two more spikes into the rock face and connect the rope from the hammock/portaledge to each. Drive a third spike into the cliff and connect another line of rope to it and your carabiner (safety first!). Climb inside and get ready for what could turn into a wild night. While you may be a safe distance from all those lions, tigers, and bears, that doesn’t mean that the howling wind up here won’t keep you awake all night. Or that a boulder won’t come tumbling down the cliff and knock you into oblivion. Or that you won’t be attacked by eagles. Sweet dreams!