Sexual Behaviour
Can you give us guidelines on appropriate sexual behaviour?
Ah, this is a question that we delight in answering, for so many of you are concerned about it. It is not surprising that it is in the forefront of your mind, for sexual energy is what created the entire Universe, it is the creative force itself. It flows through your body during all the hours of your waking consciousness, it is with you, and it is part of you.
There are so many beliefs concerning sexuality, and we seek to answer this question fully. So make yourself comfortable, for there is much to say on the subject. First, we would apply the same advice to sexuality as to any other topic you are asking about, and that is to say: If it feels good, do it!
We already hear your voices saying “What about the rapists?” and “What about the child molesters?”, and our answer to you is, they are not doing what feels good. They are doing what they feel compelled to do from a point of powerlessness and pain. This also applies to the sexual addict who seeks power and a sense of self-worth through sexual encounters. Sexuality is a medium through which you can share the sense of empowerment and self-worth, not gain it. Therefore, when we say, “If it feels good, do it,” we mean exactly what we are saying. So many of you do not feel good at all and will use sexuality as a means for feeling good. Sex is just like any relationship; it is there to enhance your experience of yourself, not to give you something that you feel that you lack. What we mean by enhancing your experience of yourself, is that sexual union can lead you to an experience of great acceptance of another, of great love for another, of great joy in another. In this sense you experience being in acceptance, being love, being joyful appreciation, and therefore it enhances the experience of yourself and leads to growth.
What most of you are concerned about are the ‘rules’ pertaining to sexual union, for many of your religious traditions have handed down to you rules concerning sexual conduct. Cultures and people generally do what works for them, and although not necessarily joyful, the rules work to preserve order and circumnavigate difficulties. In order to understand the rules of a culture, it is important for you to understand the conditions under which the culture has developed and the underlying core beliefs of that culture.
Your religious rules and regulations were developed at a time when humanity was largely in survival mode. Great emphasis was placed on survival and the most time was spent in taking care of physical needs, in other words, acquiring food, shelter and clothing. All your questions about any subject must be placed within the context of human development. Just as you, as an individual, have had many, many lifetime experiences, cultures also undergo transformation, as is evident from viewing your history.
When a soul first comes into the physical world, it is trying to understand and cope with its new surroundings. It spends most of its time in survival mode, being very fearful of the physical world and its perceived threats. As the soul progresses, it becomes more accustomed to the physical world and attempts to build structures around itself so that the world becomes more manageable and less threatening. The vast majority of your ‘moral’ rules were developed in just such a period when humanity was creating structure in the world. This structure came in two forms, religions and also hierarchical societies that were shepherded by one or two families, in other words, chieftains and a royal class.
As cultures began to form, the natural biological differences between men and women became formalized within societal structures. In most of the cultures that eventually became dominant, men were expected to hunt, wage war, plough the fields, build structures and the like, and women were expected to tend to the needs of the men and fulfil their biological function of child bearer. Humanity has viewed itself as being separate or indeed ‘superior’ to the animal kingdom, but your social organisation has evolved along the same lines of fulfilling biological needs as have the animals. You are spiritual beings occupying a biological organism, and this organism has its own separate consciousness which is instinctive. You have a dual consciousness, instinctive and spiritual. Each species has the instinct to survive, to propagate, and to flourish and it does this by organising different roles for the sexes. As thinking human beings, your ability to organise is complex. However, the nature of that organisation is based on biological survival.
As the roles became more clearly defined, they became interwoven into religious and philosophical tradition. What was originally a biological impulse to survive and to flourish suddenly became a command from ‘God’. As women were the nurturers and not the producers, they were on the one hand a financial burden to any family, but on the other hand a precious cargo, for they carried the ability to bear offspring. Out of this grew the tradition of offering a dowry to the family of any male who wished to take a female as a mate. The family of the female was literally compensating the family of the male for adding to their ‘burden’ with a ‘non-productive’ extra mouth to feed, for a woman did not fight wars, did not till the soil, did not build ships, and did not make other implements. Therefore, as women were excluded from taking on male roles, the culture needed to ensure that females were taken care of and did not become a burden. It is for this reason, and for this reason only, that sex before marriage was discouraged. The family of the female could not risk their daughters getting pregnant without a man to help support their needs. This would have created chaos and imbalance in cultures that were largely concerned with survival.
In order to consolidate this cultural necessity, it was then interwoven into religious tradition and elevated to the status of a ‘command from God’. From an anthropological point of view, the rules concerning premarital sex made perfect sense.
Let us touch on another subject, the subject of homosexuality. This too became taboo, although there were always exceptions. In the times when such rules were developed, the cultures were tribal, as we have said. Often these tribes were surrounded by hostile neighbours. They competed for hunting grounds, competed for water, and competed for all and any resources. What guaranteed the success of any tribe were sheer numbers and sufficient males of fighting age and capability. Therefore from a biological standpoint, it was important that each male produce offspring and contribute to the gene pool of the tribe. It was for this reason that polygamy often existed in ancient civilisations, because it fulfilled that biological need.
What is important to understand here is the context within which societal rules were formed. Religion played a major role in holding together the cohesiveness of tribes and nations. Rules that made sense from the point of view of survival of the species, taking into consideration their focus and perception of reality, quickly became commands from ‘God’. It was only ‘God’, by demanding obedience, who could curtail or suppress the natural biological inclinations.
These rules have been a part of your culture for so long that they are deeply embedded in your psyche. This is the reason why, since what you have termed the ‘sexual revolution’, there appears to be a preponderance of sexually transmitted diseases. It is not that the chosen behaviour is ‘wrong’, but that ‘the disease’ is created by your conflicting beliefs concerning appropriate sexual conduct.
Is there any sexual behaviour that is wrong?
We cannot use the term ‘wrong’, for in essence, all experience is relevant to the growth of the individual soul. However, there is that which is appropriate and that which is inappropriate. We would state very clearly that all activity that involves more than one being, whether sexual or not, should be consensual. In other words, it is inappropriate to involve anyone in activities that are not in accordance with their own free and chosen will, or whose personality is not in a position to make a clear and mature choice. Sexual abuse is always about powerlessness, expressing itself through the need of one to dominate another.
As we have stated before, do that which makes you feel good, and do all that you do with awareness. If you are seeking sexual gratification in order to compensate for a feeling of emptiness, then in the long run, this is not appropriate behaviour for you, although of itself it is not wrong. It is not wrong because the action may very well lead you to uncover the deeper issues at hand, and this brings growth, and growth is what your soul seeks at all times.
Sexual union is a creation. We advise each of you not only to see it as a creation, but also to be conscious and aware of your choices. Set an intention for joy each time that you join as one with another. You have the opportunity to experience the other as they truly are, and to experience yourself in love as you make love. It truly is a very precious and beautiful gift that you have given yourselves. It makes no difference whether the two who join are of the same gender or of mixed genders, what matters are the intentions of the individuals involved.
Sexual energy is the most powerful force in the Universe. It is the life force, creative energy itself. Without it, you would not have a physical body, nor would you have a soul body, for all springs forth out of creative process.
Why are some people Gay or Lesbian, and why does a soul have this experience?
The reason for a preference towards same sex experience and relationships are as numerous as those who choose this experience. When we say choose, we do understand that from the point of view of the one with a same sex orientation that it is simply the way that they are, it is not a choice. However, when we refer to choice, we do so in the context of the eternal soul and its choice to add this experience to a broad panorama of experiences. It is useful to note two important things here. First, each soul that completes a cycle of lives on the Earth plane will choose at least one homosexual life. A life of same sex orientation provides a soul with unique opportunities for growth and experience that enriches its Earth adventure. The second thing to note here is that by nature, each of you is bisexual. This does not mean to say that this bisexuality necessarily needs to lead to sexual union with partners of both genders, but it means that each of you is capable of feeling great love for another human of the same gender and of expressing that in a physical way. Each individual’s sexual orientation is unique and is expressed with differing emphases, meaning that one person could be almost exclusively heterosexual, and another person could be almost exclusively homosexual, but the majority of you fall somewhere between the two poles. Whether you act upon, or are even conscious of this bisexuality is a different question all together.
For many gay individuals, but not all, there is an association with the role of the opposite sex. This role identification takes place in the first seven years of life and is a pre-chosen set of circumstances prior to incarnation. A child will usually identify with the role of the parent of the same gender; a child’s identification with the role of the opposite sex is likely to lead to homosexual preference being expressed and chosen as a lifestyle. What is really important here is not to analyse why something is, but to understand the value of such an orientation from the point of view of the soul.
As clearly stated above, such orientations are a necessary part of soul development, for they offer many opportunities for growth and development. Once could say that it is an exalted role, for it provides the individual soul with unique challenges that strengthen and assist the soul to achieve its long-term goals. The long-term goal of any soul is to find self-acceptance whilst in physical form. Self-acceptance leads to love, compassion, courage, generosity, sacrifice, and gratitude, all the qualities that the soul wishes to develop and express.
Living a gay lifestyle offers opportunities for self-examination that other roles do not. First, because your culture has largely feared and mistrusted its own sexuality, it has feared and misunderstood same sex orientation. This has created an atmosphere of discrimination, even persecution. This in itself is sufficient to motivate some souls to want to have that experience, for it has the potential to catapult the soul forward in its growth. You see, the soul always seeks growth, you are growth-seeking beings. So, from the soul’s perspective, if it wants to develop courage or self-acceptance, it may very well choose a same sex oriented life for that purpose.
Gay and lesbian lives are always about growth and are generally chosen by more mature and older souls in order to further their advancement. The self and discovery of the self are the keys to all spiritual growth. As a member of a sexual minority, these individuals, when young, are naturally drawn to ask themselves, “Who am I?” and, “Why am I different?” much earlier than those who are members of a majority. Heterosexual individuals very rarely question their sexuality; they simply accept that they are the way they are. In addition to this, the relationship with parents plays a key role in terms of offering the growth sought by the individual soul. Each of you gains your sense of self-worth and value largely from your relationship with those who ‘created’ you. Often, depending on the culture, many same sex oriented individuals experience either outright rejection or distance from their ‘creators’. This is a source of great pain for these individuals. However, it brings the opportunity to find that self-worth does not come from ‘pleasing the creator’ but comes from within. It springs forth from self-appreciation.
The vast majority of you still imagine that there is an external God that you need to please or whose approval you need to win. You put much emphasis on trying to find out what this God wants of you. This, for the most part, is a direct transference of your relationship with one or both parents onto the imagined God. A gay individual is being provided with all the circumstances that will assist him or her to find their true source of love, power and self-worth in themselves. This is also aided by the fact that children will seldom play a role in gay relationships. Most of you, as you get older, see your life as being fulfilled through children. You have fulfilled your ‘duty’ to the species by reproducing, and you are being fulfilled in other ways through parenting and grandparenting. The lack of these roles gives the soul even more opportunity for more self-exploration, for everything must come from within.
A gay life is a very valuable life that calls upon many inner resources and provides many opportunities for spiritual enlightenment. There are many ways to accomplish this; there are simpler ways, and there are more challenging ways. A gay or lesbian life is an exalted role that is chosen for growth. For this reason, many gay men and women in your culture are ideally suited to the roles of counselling, healing, nursing, care, and spiritual teaching.
Why does pornography exist, and what is a healthy relationship to it?
This is a large and complex subject and we could answer from many, many different angles. However, to keep things as simple as possible, we offer to you that pornography is filling the needs of those who do not feel that they are able to or ‘allowed’ to express themselves sexually. Those who view such material on a regular basis feel that they are lacking in some way. Either they have a mate with whom they feel they are unable to express themselves fully, or they have suppressed their natural desires and inclinations and seek a way to express them. Sexual energy is the most powerful force in the Universe. It is with you and runs through you all continuously. However, for the historical reasons we have already discussed, it has become a taboo subject and an energy that many fear.
Whenever any naturally occurring energy becomes suppressed, it will always manifest in some dysfunctional way. However, that is not to say that pornography is a ‘dysfunction’. Like anything, it all depends on your intention and motivation. For example, pornography can be used as an educative tool for those who wish to broaden their experience. It can also be appreciated as an art form, or be celebrated as an expression of life force energy. However, in our observation, the majority of viewers use such materials from a position of lack, rather from a position of celebrating and honouring human sexuality. There is no wrong or right with pornography, it is how you use it that makes a difference in your life.
You spoke earlier of a gay lifestyle being a necessary role for the soul to choose as part of its journey through many lifetimes here on Earth. Are there any other roles that we must all play as part of the Earth experience?
Indeed, yes, there are. We call them the four P’s. These four roles are archetypes and are not always literal. The roles are: Prince, Pauper, Priest, and Prostitute.
The Prince and Pauper roles are all to do with power, how it is expressed and the responsibility that goes with such power. As opposites, a soul will choose lives that have financial and/or political power, or lives that are completely devoid of both. The soul seeks to experience these opposites so that the subject matter can be fully understood.
The roles of Priest and Prostitute are all about both conditional and unconditional service. Elements of power enter into both these roles as well, but on the whole, the general lesson is about service. Unconditional service can be learned and experienced in either role, just as conditional service can be expressed in either role.
These four roles are pivotal to any soul’s development and growth, because they provide unique challenges. As archetypes, the literal role is not always chosen. However, the majority of souls do choose the literal role at least once. In the case of a Prince, this is anyone that has cultural status and influence. In the case of a priest, that is any role that administers to the spiritual needs of the culture, whether formally or informally. Examples of the priestly role are medicine men and women, therapists, counsellors, priests, shamans, and psychics. The role of pauper is anyone in a position that appears to lack choice. This role is widespread and can be witnessed amongst those belonging to racial minorities and those who are dominated by external authorities such as religions and governments. The prostitute is a role that the soul more often chooses literally, and like the priest, it is about learning the differences between conditional and unconditional service.
In essence, all the roles assist souls to understand power and how to use it. Priests and prostitutes alike can gain a false sense of power over their ‘clients’ through the need for their services that the ‘client’ expresses. Princes and Paupers are also primarily occupied with the gaining of power and the exercise of it. Those of you who identify with the role of Priest will have often experienced the role of Prostitute; the two go hand in hand. Those who identify with the role of Prince will likewise have experienced many lifetimes as a Pauper.
What these roles are all about is the exercise of personal power. True power comes from within and does not seek to dominate or control any other being. False power, power that is based on feelings of lack, always involves manipulation and contains a sense of ‘power over’, even if this is subtle. As you become increasingly more aware of your non-physical self, you become increasingly more powerful. One who is fully blended with source and is in the physical dimension is able to wield great power, indeed, is able to move mountains, for this one knows that matter is energy, just as all is energy. This knowing enables the blended one to manipulate all matter with thought, for this one understands that he or she is at one with the power that created all worlds. Therefore, the roles we have described are a necessary foundation for the cultivation of such power.
There have been cultures on your planet that were highly advanced, and many individuals within those cultures could perform what you would term miracles. They could manipulate matter, move heavy objects with their minds, and had great command over the weather and other elements, for they knew that as they thought, so it was. However, there were many instances of individuals, and indeed entire groups of beings, that abused their power for personal gain and gratification, for they became fascinated with the power. There are so many of you who have had these very experiences in other lifetimes that you are spending hundreds of lifetimes in this cycle to bring your relationship with power into balance.
Power is wonderful thing; it is who you are. You are all such powerful and wonderful beings. However, to be useful, power is to be channelled through the heart. Otherwise, it creates forms that are temporary, for anything based on lack is but a temporary illusion.