It was a bright, cheerful day as the Enigmas Unlimited van pulled into the drive of Professor Ronald Sweet’s bungalow.
“Remember, team, we have to be tactful.” Outside of the studio, Diana was more in charge than ever. “Just because he’s a whackadoodle doesn’t mean we want to treat him like one. That’s for our viewers to decide.”
“I still don’t understand why I have to wear this sweater and knee socks,” Hilda complained. “Damn it, these glasses have a smudge on them.”
“You’re playing a role, sweetie,” Diana said, taking Hilda’s glasses, breathing on the lenses, and then wiping them clear with the lilac scarf she wore about her neck. “The viewers have expectations.” She placed the glasses back on the bridge of Hilda’s nose. “Besides, haven’t you heard? Nerdy girls are super sexy now.”
Ted fumbled with his red ascot in the side mirror of the vehicle. “I can’t get this to look right,” he groused.
“Are you still grumpy because you dropped your phone,” Diana asked, taking the ascot and retying it around his neck swiftly and perfunctorily. “Mama will get you a new one.” She slapped him on the chest. “Now get in there and be beefy and conversational.”
“I just wish I’d backed it up after getting his number,” Ted pouted.
Ziggy had Ruby Lou on a leash and was trying to coax the Great Dane out of the back of the van.
“Ziggy, for God’s sake, leave the dog inside,” Diana said. “Crack a window. She’ll be fine.”
“Ruby will be fine, sure,” Ziggy said. “But I can’t say the SUV would be. If I don’t take her for a walk right away, those anchovy and sauerkraut pizzas we had are probably…”
“Ew,” she grimaced, holding her palm out. “I don’t need a picture, thank you very much. Just leash her to the truck, and we’ll watch where we step when we get back. We need the camera rolling as soon as we knock.” She stepped around the stylized SUV to finish preparations.
“Okay, Rube,” Ziggy said with resignation as he looped the leash through the rear door latch, then gave the dog a loving ruffle under her chin. “You keep an eye on the Enigmachine, okay? Good girl!”
“For the last time, we are not calling it that!” Diana barked from the opposite side of the vehicle. Ziggy flipped her the bird under the lower edge of the windows, where his gesture would not be seen. Hearing a grumble from Ruby’s stomach, he hastily grabbed the digital camera equipment out of the back of the truck. He joined the rest of the team as the dog began to squat.
Diana waited until Ziggy had the camera recording before nodding to Ted to ring the doorbell. Several seconds later, the door was opened by a weeping woman in her mid-fifties. Beyond her, and captured by the camera, were open cardboard boxes half-filled with books and other items that used to sit on the now empty shelves.
“Can I help you?” she asked, dabbing her eyes and looking at the camera with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion.
“We’re here to see Professor Sweet,” Ted replied. “We had an appointment for a follow-up interview for our show.”
The woman sniffled. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re too late. My brother is dead.”
It took Ted a moment to realize that the woman’s brother and Professor Sweet were meant to refer to the same person. “Dead?” he repeated, stupefied. “What happened? I mean, we’re so, so sorry.”
Diana shouldered her way past Ted. “When did he die?” she asked.
“A few days ago,” the woman said, blinking away tears. “He was in his lab. The police believe a localized tremor dislodged a shelf. It fell on him.” Her lip began to quiver as she spoke.
“Like, smooshed by shelves,” Ziggy said with horror.
She shook her head. “No, that’s not what killed him,” she said. “But it did injure him. It broke both hips and dislocated his shoulders.” She blew her nose, loudly. “He lay there for two days in pain before dying of dehydration,” she said. “Died amid all his accomplishments.”
“That’s terrible,” Diana said, trying to sound sympathetic. “We’re very sorry for your loss.”
The woman looked up again at the camera. “Funny thing, though,” she said. “None of the other labs sustained any damage. It’s like nature just singled him out. I guess… I guess when it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.” She closed the door, leaving the Enigma’s Unlimited team on the stoop.
“Gosh,” Ted replied reverently.
“Weird,” Ziggy whispered.
“Jinkies,” Hilda murmured.
Diane’s face beamed. “This is Internet gold!” she said, her eyes alight at the prospect of how many conspiracy theories were going to spin out of this episode, and how many shares on social media the finished video would get.