Chapter Thirty-Six

A couple of days passed in relative peace, during which time Rory kept close track of Nina while trying not to get caught up by her often blatant come-ons. The fact that she kept flipping from one personality to another certainly kept things interesting.

There was also a hidden vulnerability to her that touched a chord inside him he’d had no idea he still possessed. Not after losing Alice.

He hated that. Didn’t want to be touched that deeply again. To be that vulnerable again. To let Alice become less important than she deserved to be…even though, deep down, he knew she would be the first one to tell him to stop being an ass about this. Because to risk that part of yourself, was the only way life was worth living.

But he couldn’t let her go, that beloved memory of her still living in what was left of his shattered heart. Keeping a professional distance was more important now than it ever had been.

None of his arguments, his logic, seemed to matter when it came to Nina. Every day it got a little harder to keep his distance, especially as he got to know this complicated woman better.

Another evening arrived, and with it came Joey.

Days worth of training had Nina sore and exhausted, which, of course, warranted the appearance of this alter.

Rory truly felt sorry for her as she groaned and whimpered with every movement, lying flat on her back on the living room couch.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch,” she recited as she reached out to grab a pillow from the armchair and tucked it behind her.

“I warned you to take it easy,” he reminded her, setting a requested mug of tea on the low table beside her. “You’ve been out of shape for quite a while. You have to build up endurance first.”

She pulled a face. “Tell that to Lena.” Her eyes warily slid to the tea, and the distance she’d have to cross to reach it. “She’s a menace. She’d run with a broken leg.” She snorted. “Hell, she did once. Could you be a doll and hand that to me?” A vague wave at the mug had him moving closer.

“You want these, as well?” He held up her cigarettes. At the shake of her head, he sat down on the edge of the coffee table and handed her the tea. “I did tell her. Lena doesn’t listen very well. Obviously.”

Grimacing, Joey brought the cup to her lips and took a tentative taste. “Tell me about it,” she growled between sips.

Knowing Joey well enough by now, he felt free to ask, “You don’t have any control over her?”

As expected, Joey didn’t take offense, nor did she object when he carefully took one of her feet in his lap and started a gentle massage of her tense calf muscles. With a moan of near ecstasy, her toes curled in appreciation.

She shifted to offer her other leg, as well, murmuring a throaty, “That feels so good.”

He recognized his mistake as soon as he saw the expression of pure bliss on her face, and the way her breathing deepened and her lips parted.

Oh hell! She was way too tempting.

Instead of being smart about this and reclaiming some of his professional distance, he worked his fingers into the tender skin, slowly making his way upward. She had looked so pitiful. All pale and achy.

“Lena does whatever she wants, heedless of the consequences,” she said at last.

“Why?” Her quick, shrewd glance told him she understood he had a reason for asking.

“Just wondering,” he said, his voice little more than a rough whisper. His imagination was going places better left alone. It would be so easy to slide his hands farther up, to divest her of her leggings with a simple sweep of his hands…to pull her into his lap and hold her close…

Ruthlessly, he reined in his wandering thoughts. “I’m getting tired of going head-to-head with Lena.”

She laughed softly.

Paying extra attention to the tense knots in her muscles, he slowly worked his way down to her delicate feet and focused on them. A delighted shudder went through her.

“Right there, that’s the spot!” she instructed, throwing back her head with a deep sigh of pleasure. She literally writhed in front of him.

The sight was mesmerizing.

Struggling for control all over again, he said in a near growl, “So, if you can’t control Lena, I’ll have to figure out a way to keep you all out of trouble. Any suggestions?”

He had to stop. Touching her had been a mistake. Her skin was too soft, too tempting. Quickly, he put her feet back on the couch.

It didn’t help much. Something about watching her, all relaxed and mellow, struck that odd chord inside him again. That tight sensation in his chest that reminded him he hadn’t been this close to anyone in years. It was so strange. So familiar, and yet…different. He had to keep reminding himself that he was here to do a job. Nothing more.

Her lazy smile transformed into a slightly crooked grin, increasing the odd sensation. She opened one eye to squint up at him. “A tire iron to the head would work. Cuffs, too, but you’d have to be careful. Restraints generally piss her off.”

He hiked a brow. “A little drastic, I think. What about Thyra? Any helpful ideas on how to deal with her?”

“A leash gets my vote. A chastity belt would be nice, too. But I don’t suppose you’ve got one in that duffel bag of yours, huh?” She chuckled, only to finish on a groan. Her abdominal muscles must hurt pretty badly after the two hundred sit-ups Lena had insisted on early that morning.

No way was he going to offer her another massage.

He cleared his throat. “You don’t like those two much, do you?”

“Was it my sneer that tipped you off?” she joked, draining the last bit of her tea and holding out the mug to him. “But honestly, they’re not half bad, once you get used to them.”

Having spent five days and nights with all the various alters, he was starting to learn that.

“You just have to figure out a way to live with them, like I have.”

When she tried to get up, another whimper escaped. Feeling sorry for her, he rose to pick her up off the couch and cradle her against his chest. She hardly weighed a thing, despite frequent meals and Octavia’s nutritional supplements having a very visible effect on her. He was careful not to jar her.

“Better?” he asked, trying not to breathe in her heady scent as he carried her to her bedroom.

She casually wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled her gratitude. “Much. I could get used to this, you know.”

One of her hands toyed with the hair at his nape, sending tiny sparks of electricity through his body.

“Well, don’t,” he warned. He shouldered his way inside the room. “My gallantry ends the moment I deposit you on the bed. Tomorrow you’ll be on your own again.”

One knee on the bed, he put her down. But when he started to withdraw, Nina kept her arms locked tight. “Hmmm. What if I don’t allow the depositing part?” Her hot breath brushed his ear.

“Joey,” he began, but fell silent when she pressed a soft kiss to the bruise on his cheek.

“Tell me, Rory,” she whispered, intermittently nipping her way down his face. “Are you”—another kiss—“difficult to”—and another—“seduce?” Her lips reached his, and he couldn’t help it, he groaned. The woman was a menace.

Their gazes locked, and she suckled lightly on his lower lip, tightening her hold on his hair. In the gray depths of her eyes he saw a wicked sparkle challenging him.

“Don’t go there, Joey,” he warned softly. He grabbed the hand that had made its way down to fondle his erection through the fabric of his pants. His body was raring to go, hard and ready, but sanity held.

Just barely.

“Why not?” She placed another kiss to the jutting outline of his jaw. “Aren’t you the least bit tempted?” Nimble fingers eluded his halfhearted attempt to stop her and undid the first button of his shirt.

“Joey. This isn’t right,” he ground out, as much to himself as her. Emotionally, she was far too messed up. It would be unethical for him to act on the clamoring hunger that roared inside him.

“Ah. But it sure feels that way, doesn’t it?” she said, unsnapping the next button before he managed to grab her hand. Part of his mind cheered when her other hand started where the first had left off.

He should move away.

That would be the smart thing to do.

It would be the right thing to do.

She arched up from the mattress, her hands demanding more of him, drawing him closer. His shirt was open now, giving her free access to the taut skin of his upper body. Her fingers tangled with the tawny hair there, and goose bumps spread over his flesh.

“You can consider it therapy if that makes you feel better. I need this!”

Something in her voice made him pull back to study her. The light flush of her cheeks. The plumpness of her lips. The fierce glitter in her gaze—

Sanity crashed down on him like a bucket of ice. His hands fisted with the return of his control.

“We’re not going to use sex as therapy, Joey,” he reproved gruffly, desire and sanity still at war. “Or should I say, Lena?”

Her seductive smile disappeared in the blink of an eye. “Very clever, O’Donnell,” she said with a sneer, sitting up and glaring at him. She combed back her hair in obvious frustration.

Well, join the damn club.

“So, when, exactly, did you come into the picture, Lena?” Pushing up from the bed, he slowly got to his feet and tucked his fists into the pockets of his pants.

“Oh. ’Bout the same time it became clear that you weren’t going to put out. Does it matter? The body’s still the same, baby.”

“It’s not always just the body that counts, though, is it?” He watched her face in the dim light that fell into the room, saw not a trace of Joey. There was just Lena. Only Lena.

“Whoever gave you that idea? Your mother?” Fast as a snake, she took the cigarettes from his breast pocket. He couldn’t help it; he stiffened warily. His reaction making her smirk, she lit one up. Inhaling deeply, she continued to glare at him.

Control was his once more, despite the churning in his gut. “My grandmother, actually. Who gave you the idea that it’s only physical?”

Angrily chewing on the inside of her lip, Lena didn’t respond for the longest time. Then she snapped, “Experience.”

He winced, instantly contrite. For a moment he’d forgotten who he was dealing with. What she’d been through. The screwed-up life lessons she’d endured.

Fuck.

“Well, if I ain’t gonna get any tonight,” she drawled, “I’d like some shuteye.” In a show of impatience, she flicked ashes to the floor. “Take a hike, O’Donnell.”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod of agreement. “You need your rest.” His body still tense, he headed for the door. “Sweet dreams, Lena. See you in the morning.”

She insulted his heritage with a string of choice words.

Firmly, he shut the door on her.

In the darkness of the hallway, he let out a groan and sagged against the log wall beside the bedroom door, barely managing to keep himself from slamming his head into it a couple of times. “That was a close call,” he muttered. Too close.

If he hadn’t noticed the personality change, he might not have been able to keep from giving into her.

Making love to Nina would have been the most unforgivable thing he’d ever done in his life. Not because he hadn’t wanted to more than he wanted to breathe. Or because it wouldn’t have been amazing. Because he did. And it would have been.

But because doing so would make him just as bad as all the other people who’d used and abused her for her entire life.

Worse. Because he knew better. Because he was supposed to be different.

She was his responsibility, the person he was supposed to be protecting from those who’d exploit her, for God’s sake. Kissing her had been bad enough, but to have sex… Such a breach of her trust and vulnerability would be totally unforgivable.

Jaw clamped tight, he shook off the intense but unwelcome effects she’d caused in his body. Damn Lena…or more accurately, Nina. He had to keep reminding himself that in the end, they all were Nina, no matter how real the identities appeared to be.

Pushing away from the wall, he stormed out the cabin’s front door to start his nightly perimeter check.

“Get a grip, O’Donnell,” he ordered himself.

He was not that guy.