Chapter Fifty-Eight

Nightfall found Rory sitting on the side of Nina’s bed, watching her sleep tangled in the sheets.

He was struggling to come to terms with what had happened. What had almost happened.

Something profound had shifted as she slept in his arms. His view of her had been irrevocably altered. He couldn’t explain how it had happened, how she had managed to get past his every defense and crawl under his skin. But she had.

It would have been far easier if he’d just broken down and made love to her. Sex was simple. Basic.

This was far more dangerous.

He hadn’t felt anything like this since Alice.

Or had he even felt this strongly then? They’d been best friends, young and eager to be everything they could be for each other. But he had never really stopped to think about it. With Alice it had just been. Something as simple as breathing. With Nina it was nothing like that. Nothing was simple.

Oblivious to the world, she slept peacefully. She was covered by a corner of the blanket that did little to hide the feminine shape of her. She made for a beautiful picture, stretched out on her stomach, draped over the pillow that had taken his place after he got up. Her face was utterly relaxed, and a hint of smile lingered around her lips. In deep slumber, she shifted her head a little, giving him an unhindered view of her delicate features.

Though she was still a bit pale for her Hispanic heritage, her skin was the color of creamed coffee against the whiteness of the sheets. Her hair, short and mussed from sleep, was black as night. As were her long sooty lashes resting on the faint shadows under her eyes.

God, she was beautiful.

Tempted all over again, he averted his gaze. She was beautiful in the promise of what she would be the day she put all this behind her—including him.

Even though he knew that was how it was supposed to be, the thought depressed him. Of course he had known all along she would never be his. Could never be his. Still, the knowing hadn’t stopped him from imagining what it might be like to be with her. To have an actual relationship and really be with her.

In the end none of that mattered. He had a job to do. And after he had helped her through this time of healing, his job would still be there.

But she wouldn’t be. She would be busy putting her life, herself back together. Without him in it.

“Beating yourself up, O’Donnell?” said Lena from behind him, making him tense instinctively. He could feel her shift beneath the blankets but didn’t look.

“Don’t worry. You were a good little boy. Instead of having monkey sex, you just spooned.” There was no denying her snark. What was she up to now?

Strangely enough, her abrasiveness didn’t disturb him as much as it would have days ago. He sighed. Damn, even Lena was growing on him.

“Not really. Like you said, nothing really happened. But thanks.”

She snorted. “Your loss. You could have had me, and just blamed me afterward,” she said with a chuckle that was a tad too casual to sound credible. “You know me, the evil seductress.”

Turning slowly, he found her sitting up, the sheet clutched lightly to her breasts.

From the look of her, she wasn’t done yet, the resentment in her gaze a tangible entity between them. “Come on, try me on for size. You can just tell them I forced you.” That was Lena. Crude in a way only she could get away with, without sounding silly. Clearly, Nina was feeling vulnerable about what had happened—and not happened—between them, so Lena had appeared as a protective shield. It would have set his teeth on edge, but as it was, he could recognize it as her most basic defense.

“Hell, if you play it right, you could probably—”

“Lena,” he interrupted firmly, leaning closer to press a finger to her lips, “let it go.” He saw the wariness in her eyes fade just a bit. “Let’s pretend we found a mature way to deal with our mutual lapse into primitive sexual attraction, and leave it at that.”

Her eye roll spoke volumes, sarcasm another defense that she used well. “Mature? Primitive sexual attraction? Jeez, O’Donnell. You know, you’re just too smart for me with fancy terms like that.” She pulled away from him and rolled off the bed to stride to the bathroom. “I would call it wanting to jump each other’s bones but being too chicken to follow through. But hey, yours sounds much more sophisticated. We’ll go with the primitive sexual attraction thingy.”

With that parting shot, she disappeared from sight, and Rory grimaced. Wearily, he let himself fall back onto the sheets and draped an arm over his eyes.

Whether she was pissed because of his words or his actions—or his lack thereof—he had no idea. Either way, he’d have one hell of a time forgetting this night.

He could still feel her close against him, as he held her to him with an intimacy that went far beyond anything sexual.

“Nice, O’Donnell,” he groused under his breath before getting up and pulling on fresh clothes. “Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. Can’t fucking win.”

It was getting late, and he had promised a meeting with the commanding officer of the base. Thinking about this whole situation with Nina would just have to wait.

Right now, duty called.