Idiot, idiot, idiot. The taunt kept up a steady rhythm to Colby’s gallop as Laney headed for home. She wouldn’t cry. Refused to cry. This was her own fault, and she wouldn’t allow herself one tiny bit of self-pity.
The nearer they drew to home, the stronger the dread gnawing her stomach became. She dreaded the smug remarks she was bound to get from Pa when he found out his prophecy about Luke’s intentions had come true.
Laney reined in Colby and helped Jane slide from the saddle. “Go inside, sweetheart. I just have to brush Colby down and put him up for the night.”
When Laney entered the soddy a few minutes later, Jane was already tucked into bed and snoring softly. Pa was seated at the table sipping a mug of coffee. Surprisingly the dishes he had eaten from were cleaned and put away on the shelf above her rough-hewn counter.
“You must be feeling better,” she said grudgingly.
“A mite.”
“Good.” She cleared her throat. Now what? It was too early to go to bed, and she would rather cut off one of her arms than make polite conversation with Pa while her heart was breaking. She debated going for a walk by the creek, but to do so would be an admission that something out of the ordinary had occurred.
Pa stood. Relieved, Laney walked toward the kitchen. Maybe he would go to sleep so she could be alone with her thoughts. Instead, he grabbed a mug from the shelf, filled it with coffee, and set it down on the table in front of an empty chair. “Sit.”
Too startled to rebel, Laney sat. “What’s this?” she asked, barely able to keep the sarcasm from her voice. If he was trying to be nice so he could ask for money, he might as well save himself the effort. She’d already given him all she had.
He shrugged his bony shoulders. “Thought you looked like you might like a cup, that’s all. Dump it out if you don’t want it.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want it!”
“Well, don’t act like I’m about to ask fer somethin’, ’cause I ain’t.”
Heat rushed to her cheeks.
“‘Sides, I know you done gave everythin’ you was savin’ just to keep me from goin’ to prison. Can’t rightly say I know why, but I gotta tell ya, I know what ya gave up.”
Laney hadn’t mentioned her conversation with Mr. Garner to anyone, let alone Pa. “What are you talking about?”
He regarded her evenly, and for once his face held not the slightest hint of mockery. “Garner stopped by while you was gone.”
Laney’s hands trembled as they grasped her cup. “So?”
“So he told me to tell ya he’ll wait one extra week for the money, but then he has to sell the land and the soddy to his other buyer.” Pa gave a snort. “Sounded like he hated to see ya hafta give up yer land.”
Realizing there was no sense in pretending, Laney shrugged and sipped her coffee. She set the mug back on the table. “One extra week isn’t going to matter much. It would take me six more months to save enough to pay him off like we agreed.”
“Where you intendin’ on livin’?”
The note of concern in his voice made Laney glance up sharply. She caught his gaze. Was he merely worried about his own hide and where he would sleep, or did he honestly care? Laney steeled herself against the last thought. She would not allow herself to be fooled again. If Luke couldn’t love her enough to stay by her side, she couldn’t make herself believe someone like her pa was genuinely concerned about her well-being.
“Don’t worry,” she said, curling her lip in contempt. “I’ll figure out something for us. Maybe we could all find a good place to squat—just like old times. Huh, Pa?”
Pa’s face darkened. He slapped the table and sprang to his feet. Then he swayed and grabbed on to steady himself. “I ain’t stayin’ here to be insulted.”
“Oh yes you are.” Fueled by the humiliation and disappointment of the evening, Laney’s temper soared to rage, and she stood to face him. He could hit her if he wanted to. This time she wasn’t backing down, and he was going to take what he had coming! “You’re going to hear what I have to say if I have to sit on you and hold you down to make you listen! You drank away any pittance we ever had while Ma was alive. Then you made Ben and me live like beggars and thieves until you sold us like slaves to Tarah and Anthony, the only people who thought we had any value.” A sob caught in Laney’s throat. She paused long enough to acknowledge the prick of conviction, but bitterness had already pushed her too far. Ignoring her conscience, she allowed her tongue to continue on its destructive path. “Do you know what it does to young’uns when their own pa sells them like they’re no more important than stock? For years Ben and me worked hard to prove over and over that we aren’t like you. Ben made it. He got away. Got a scholarship to seminary and made a better life for himself. I was going to. I tried. But then you had to come back. Now I have nothing—just like you wanted. I hope you’re happy, Pa. Because I sacrificed all I had so you could live.”
“Why’d ya do it?”
Expecting the back of his hand or a good tongue lashing at the very least, the calm four-word response shocked Laney. “What do you mean?”
“Ya hate me, and I’m going to die anyway. Why give up your land to keep me out of prison? I deserved to go for a lot of reasons, and you know it. It don’t make sense.”
Laney shrugged. “I don’t hate you,” she mumbled, knowing full well anything she said to defend her burst of anger would sound ridiculous. “Hating is a sin.”
He snorted. “So ya love yer ol’ pa, do ya?”
She shook her head, already regretting that she hadn’t listened to her conscience, regretting that she had most likely passed up an opportunity to share the love of Christ with her pa. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel about you. But I do know that God loves you, and He thinks you’re worth saving.”
“Just like you were worth saving when I sold ya to that teacher and her beau?”
“Just like you were worth saving?” For an instant, Laney felt the impact of his words. An image of the cross flooded her mind.
Tears sprang to her eyes. If Pa didn’t deserve her mercy because of the way he had treated her, she didn’t deserve God’s. Jesus had paid a much higher price for her than she had paid for Pa’s freedom. Remorse instantly flooded her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her heart reaching toward heaven.
“What fer?”
Surprised, Laney caught Pa’s gaze. She had been speaking to God, but as she stared into Pa’s suspicion-filled eyes, she knew she owed him an apology as well.
“I’ve treated you like you didn’t deserve love or forgiveness. No wonder you didn’t want to hear about Jesus. I paid the money for you to come home because even though I was mad as a hornet at you, I’m different inside than I used to be. I know I don’t act like I care anything about you, but the truth is, I don’t want you to die and go to hell, and I knew you stood a better chance of staying alive longer if you came home with me. Even though I wish I wouldn’t have had to give up my soddy or my land, I’d do it again for the chance to share Jesus with you before you die.”
Heavy silence permeated the air between them as Pa sized her up. Then he cleared his throat and sneered. “That just shows how dumb you are.”
Laney blinked in surprise. This was far from the repentant response she had hoped for and even halfway expected.
“You know I ain’t never held to no religion. I ain’t a-startin’ now just ‘cause you got religion and gave up yer land fer me. Ya shouldn’t have done it. I wouldn’t have done if fer you.” He left her to stare after him as he shuffled to his pallet, practically threw himself down, and lay with his back to Laney.
Bewildered, Laney turned back to her cup. Her own revelation had been so real and poignant that she couldn’t believe her pa could be so unmoved. Nevertheless, she knew something had transpired on the inside of her. If not the feelings of love, then at least the willingness to love. Urgency filled her as she listened to her pa begin to cough. I’m trying, Jesus. Please give me enough time.
True to Granny’s prediction, the townsfolk filled the schoolhouse to overflowing the night of Vivienne’s farewell performance. Luke watched the door, wishing—without much hope—that Laney would make an appearance. He wanted…needed to see her, to somehow make her believe that he loved her and would willingly give up Oregon for her.
He took a seat at the back just as Miss DuPres glided to the front, her red dress shimmering in the lamplight.
“Thank you so much for coming,” she said graciously, and the room erupted in applause.
Spellbound, the audience remained completely still while she poured out a haunting rendition of “Lorena.”
During intermission, Luke joined several men outside. He noticed Laney leaning against the hitching post. Luke’s boots led him in her direction as though they had a mind of their own.
She glanced up and smiled in greeting.
“Been here long?” he asked.
She nodded. “Watching from the door. Granny was right. Folks were happy to show up for another performance.”
“She has a lovely voice. We don’t get that sort of entertainment around here.”
“You think they do out west?”
“I don’t know, Laney. And I don’t particularly care about entertainment.” Luke captured her hand in his and held tightly before she could jerk away. “I want you to listen to me.”
“Let go of me!”
“Not until you hear me out.”
“Say your piece, then, and make it quick.”
Before he could speak his mind, an unfamiliar man wearing a fancy suit and bowler hat interrupted. “Excuse me. Is Miss DuPres performing here tonight?”
“Who wants to know?” Laney asked. From the suspicion clouding her eyes, Luke knew she was thinking the same thing that ran through his own mind. Was this the same man who had abandoned Vivienne and broken her heart?
“I am her fiancé,” he replied.
Laney stepped forward, crowding the man’s space until he backed up, bewilderment plastered on his face. “What makes you think she wants to see you? Any man who would run off and break a lady’s heart ain’t worth his salt, as far as I’m concerned.”
Luke squirmed. He had the feeling Laney wasn’t just directing her words at the wayward fiancé. He almost felt sorry for the man.
Laney moved a step closer. “You’d better give me a good reason not to call the sheriff right now and have you locked up, or that’s just what I’m going to do, mister.”
“I have all the money right here except what it took me to get to Chicago and come right back.” Randy hung his head. “You’re right,” he said humbly. “I’m not worth the dirt she walks on, but I’ll make it all up to her if she’ll only take me back.”
“If you love her,” Laney said, her tone softening, “why did you steal all her money and leave?”
“I was a fool. A swindler. The plan was to wait until she had raised enough money, then leave. I’m ashamed to say I’ve done it more than once with other women. But Vivienne is so wonderful and kind, I couldn’t help but fall in love with her. My relationship with her during the past months has changed me. I made it all the way back to Chicago, then turned around without leaving the train station.”
“Well, it’s not my place to make Miss DuPres’s decision for her.” Laney heaved a sigh. “Besides, it sounds as though you’ve learned your lesson. Come on. Let’s go find out if she’ll speak with you, but I wouldn’t count on it if I were you. If you’re a praying man, you might want to say one now, and if you’re not, you might want to become one.”
Stunned, Luke followed along to see how it all worked out. He had expected Laney to run Randy out of town with the sharp edge of her tongue, not find sympathy for a swindler and a cad—even one who claimed to be a changed man.
The room buzzed with conversation while the audience awaited the second half of Vivienne’s performance.
“Luke, over here,” Pa called as Luke squeezed down the aisle after Laney and Randy. Luke watched them go, then turned toward his parents. This was the first time Pa had been into town since the accident. Ma glowed next to him. He shook Pa’s hand and bent down to kiss Ma’s cheek. “How are you enjoying Miss DuPres’s performance?”
“It’s wonderful,” Ma said. “Of course, we’ve had the privilege of hearing her practice lately. But I must say, being at an actual performance is breathtaking.”
“Did I see Laney with a stranger?”
Luke nodded. “That was Miss DuPres’s fiancé.”
“The thief?” Ma asked, her mouth tightening in disapproval.
“He says he’s sorry and came back to beg her forgiveness.”
“I hope she makes him grovel before she forgives him!”
“Darling!” Pa said, slipping his arm along the back of her seat. “I’m shocked at you.”
She smiled and reached up to pat his face. “No, you aren’t.”
Pa captured her hand and brought it to his lips.
Luke cleared his throat. In moments such as this, he always felt like an intruder. The sort of love Ma and Pa shared was true and lasting. All-consuming at times. A burst of determination fueled a fire inside of him. He said a hasty good-bye and spun around. He was going to find Laney and make her listen to reason.
The lights dimmed. Luke groaned inwardly. He’d have to find a seat before Vivienne started singing again. He slipped into a vacant space in the third row just as she appeared on stage. Her voice seemed richer as she sang with great emotion. Luke had the feeling she had forgiven the man she loved.
The audience clapped wildly at the end of the evening, until finally Vivienne lifted her hand for silence. “Thank you,” she said, her face glowing brighter than the brightest star in the night sky. “I would like to share some wonderful news with you. I’m about to be married.”
More clapping. Luke smirked. Randy was wasting no time in proving his sincerity. “How would you all like to be my wedding guests?”
The applause continued as Miss DuPres reached toward the side door, where a slightly bewildered-looking Randy stood. He stepped forward and took her hand while the audience stood to its feet, giving an ovation worthy of a New York opera house.
“Reverend,” Randy said, finally finding his voice. “Would you, please?”
Anthony made his way to the front. He faced the audience. “Well,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a large congregation before. I hope to see you all in church on Sunday and just as enthusiastic over singing hymns to God as you are over Miss DuPres and her wonderful singing tonight.”
The room filled with laughter, some nervous, some humorous.
Luke glanced around while the couple said their vows. Where was Laney, anyway? He finally located her watching from the door. Her gaze was focused on the wedding. In the soft candlelight by the door, Luke could see her face clearly outlined. There were no hard lines to make her appear severe. Her lips curved ever so slightly, and her eyes glistened as though she was fighting back tears. Luke swallowed hard. She was so beautiful, he wished he was a painter, able to capture her image on a canvas. He burned her image into his mind, knowing he’d never see another woman as lovely, no matter how long he searched. Suddenly he wanted to tell her so. Ached to hold her. He would never leave her no matter what; and if it took ten years of working on Pa’s ranch to convince her he wasn’t going anywhere, then that’s what he’d do. Because one thing was for sure…he wouldn’t give up the woman he loved.
Laney felt Luke’s gaze even before she saw him. The crowded room faded away, and she saw only the man she loved. She knew he was experiencing the same feelings. She longed to go to him and nearly did so when his lips moved. “I love you.” After only a moment’s hesitation, she shook her head, turned, and slipped out the door.
It warmed her to know he meant it. Luke loved her enough to give up going west in order to marry her. But Laney knew what it was like to lose a dream; and even though she’d reconciled herself to her own disappointment, she couldn’t let Luke give up on his dream. She loved him too much.
So she hurried to Colby, knowing if she had to face Luke again tonight, amid the romance of renewed love and a wedding, she wouldn’t have the strength to turn him away.
“Miss Jenkins.”
Laney inwardly groaned at the sound of Mr. Garner’s voice. She turned slowly to face him. “Hello, sir,” she said.
“I assume your pa told you I was by the other day?”
“Yes sir.” Ashamed, she glanced at the ground. “I’m afraid, Mr. Garner, that even with an extra week, I won’t be able to honor our agreement. We’ll be clearing out before too long.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Jenkins. I know this isn’t your doing.”
Tears pricked Laney’s eyes. She glanced away and cleared her throat to compose herself. “Thank you.”
“Where will you go?”
“Miss Hastings has room for us at her boardinghouse.” It was the cheapest place in town. Miss Hastings was a nosy, grouchy spinster without a sense of humor. The thought of paying to live in a place she would never own seemed like a waste of money, but Laney knew she couldn’t afford to be choosy in her present circumstances.
Mr. Tucker had offered her the use of his back room to work, and she had gratefully accepted. She suspected the idea of Granny working there every day appealed to him and had prompted his generosity to waive any rental fees.
From the corner of her eye, she saw that Luke had finally squeezed his way through the crowded schoolhouse and was making his way toward her.
“I have to go, Mr. Garner. Have a wonderful evening.”
She quickly mounted Colby and rode off before Luke had the chance to stop her.