River was right. The tequila took the edge right off. Along with the blade and handle. I haven’t tasted more than a sip of alcohol before this, and now I see the appeal.
Abyss. Numbness. Loss of inhibitions. Fuck yeah.
But where’s River?
She said she’d be right back after helping out a few partygoers in need of a ride to some other event.
I look around the crowded living room, where I’ve been left on a pink floral couch to fend for myself. I try to look inconspicuous and play on my phone.
It works. People are ignoring me as they mingle, dance, and do shots. I can’t stop scratching my nose. So many flowers.
“Hi. Who are you?” says a bubbly voice.
I look up to find a redheaded goddess about my age. She has big green eyes and perfectly tanned arms, neck, cleavage, legs—everything. A bouquet of yellow and pink flowers is painted on her cheek. Her cuteness overpowers me, especially her pouty lower lip.
I glance over my shoulder, wondering if she’s talking to someone else.
The girl laughs. “Do you think I’m talking to the wall?”
I sit up straight. “No, it’s just—”
“Kidding!” She sits down, sandwiching herself between me and another flower on the couch who’s making out with some guy. “I’m Keni.” She holds out her hand.
“Huff.” We shake, and I note how her skin feels like a velvety rose petal.
“Oh. You’re River’s friend. I heard all about you.”
Oh no. “What exactly did she say?”
“That you’re the kindest, sweetest guy on the planet. That she couldn’t have survived elementary school without you, and you always stood up to some jerk who used to pull her pigtails.”
I’d almost forgotten about that. This kid named Gunner used to tease River relentlessly. Right after she and I became friends, I saw him messing with her near the swings and threw sand in his face. I got in trouble but didn’t care. River rocked. She loved all my favorite superheroes, like Captain America and Iron Man. She even loved my favorite villains. Long live Loki! After that, every time Gunner tried anything, I stepped in like River’s bodyguard.
Funny. There’d actually been a time when I was fearless. Then something changed. Or, more accurately stated, something didn’t change: me.
While the other boys started getting muscles and facial hair, I still looked nine. I mean, I’ve always been small for my age, but the difference became more notable as I got older. In high school, I was so skinny that I became a target for every pussy in a ten-mile radius. I oozed “easy pickings.” Since then, my confidence has been shot, and a person only has to look at me to see it.
Now I’m finally taller, just over six feet, but I can’t put on muscle to save my life. Protein shakes. Weights. Push-ups. Everything I do has minimal impact. Seen more meat on a Slim Jim. Which is exactly why I’m wondering what’s up with this cute girl. Why’s she talking to me?
Keni goes on, “Oh. And River told me about your sister. Wow. I can see why she admires you. Something like that would’ve turned me into a psycho killer.” Keni gets serious all of a sudden—flat lips and a crinkle between her reddish brows. “If anyone ever touched my brother, I’d kill ’em. Like, run them over with a car. Hire a hit man. Strangle the juice right out of ’em. No one fucks with my brother.”
I stare with a gaping mouth, surprised by the dark side showing through on this girl who looks like she’s never had a mean thought in her life.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to go there.” Keni offers a big smile. “I can be such a downer sometimes, but it’s not on purpose. I tend to say what I’m thinking and, well,” she shrugs, “I’m only human.”
I nod. “And, apparently, protective of your family. I get it.”
She beams at me, her green eyes vibrant. “I think you do, Huff.”
“So what else did River tell you?”
“That it took a shit ton of pushing to get you away from your parents. Can I just say how awesome that makes you? I mean, staying put to support your parents instead of running off at the first chance you had. Pretty noble.”
River has been embellishing my entire life, coating it with sparkles and serving it up to strangers as some glorious journey of sacrifice. “That’s not exactly true.”
“No?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess part of the reason I didn’t run off to college right away was not wanting to leave them alone, but I didn’t know what to study. Why waste all that money taking GE classes at a four-year?”
“Practical and kind.” She laughs and gives my shoulder a playful poke. “You are a rarity.”
She puts a small hand on my leg, and suddenly I realize this super-cute girl is actually flirting with me. Me! “Did River put you up to this?”
“Up to what?”
“You know, talking to me.”
“Don’t be lame. I actually wasn’t going to come tonight. I had a student council thing to attend—I’m class secretary until the new elections are held. But the meeting with the dean let out early.”
“So, again, why are you talking to me?” I say in the nicest voice I can muster. I really don’t want to sound like a dick, and it’s a legit question.
She jerks her head back. “Because you looked like a fish out of water and needed someone to hang with. Are you always this paranoid?”
Of course I’m paranoid. She’s hot, easily the cutest girl in the room, and she’s being nice to me. “Sorry. Guess it’s the tequila. I’m new to its powers.”
“Ah…” She snickers. “So you’re usually the shy type, huh? You know,” she leans in closer, giving me a whiff of her perfume. It’s something sweet, like her, “I think we can use more real men like you around here. But shhh…” She holds her index finger to her lips. “Don’t tell all the Neanderthals in the room. They’ll feel threatened and start throwing tantrums.”
Her lips curve into a gorgeous, sparkly-white-toothed grin.
I want her. And I’ve never really wanted anyone. But this girl is…well…like a bucket of sunshine, and I just want to dump her all over my head. Maybe I should take advantage of the liquid courage flowing through my veins and ask for her number, see if she wants to have coffee sometime. “Keni, do you want to—”
“Keni, what’s going on?” growls a deep voice.
That tall guy I saw in the kitchen earlier, the one with the cropped dark hair, is looming over us. From this new angle, I can see he probably weighs at least two hundred and twenty pounds. Pure muscle. I’m just a throw pillow to a guy like that.
“Oh, hey, Blake.” Keni hops to her feet like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t.
“You told me you weren’t coming,” Blake snarls.
“I changed my mind. I’m allowed to do that,” Keni says.
“Who’s this guy?” Blake glares down at me like I’m a shit-covered roach that just crawled out of a sewer drain.
Keni rolls her eyes. “He’s a friend of River’s. And don’t start, Bla—”
“Whatta you lookin’ at?” Blake says to me.
Great. Just what I need, to be humiliated in front of the first girl to ever flirt with me. Then again, what’s it matter? Looks like she’s taken, which means I mistook her kindness for flirting, like a desperate moron.
Keni gives Blake’s huge shoulder a push. “Knock it off. He was nice enough to keep me company while you were doing bong hits in the kitchen. And don’t think I didn’t see you, Blake.” She shakes a finger at him. “What the hell are you thinking, huh? You know you can’t take anything with that prescription. And your ass’ll be off the team if you test positive for anything more than a Tic Tac.”
By now, everyone in the living room has stopped what they’re doing to watch the drama. And apparently Blake notices because he squares his shoulders and makes sure to speak in an extra-deep, extra-loud voice. “What? You my mother now, girl?”
Keni crosses her arms over her chest, her green eyes flickering with anger. “Did you just call me girl, like it’s a fucking disease?”
Blake stares, probably too high to answer in a coherent sentence. Also, he’s backed himself into a corner. I wonder how he’ll get out of this.
I watch Keni’s sweet face turn from flushed pink to rage red. “I’m not a girl. I’m a woman. And you’re a shitty little child. I don’t know why I even bother with you.”
Blake’s face turns an equal shade of red, but I can guess from his shifty dark eyes that he isn’t feeling rage. Humiliation.
Yeah. Welcome to my planet. Be sure to get a stamp in your passport so you don’t forget you were here.
Keni’s lips pucker into a tight little ball. “You know what? I’m going. I just knew you’d act up.” She turns to me. “Super nice to meet you, Huff. See ya ’round.” Keni storms off through the front door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Blake marches after her while everyone snickers, and I just sit there feeling like I’ve been involuntarily cast in a sick reality TV show: My Totally Lame, Nonexistent Love Life.
Thank God for lotion.
But seriously, what the hell is someone like Keni doing with a monster-truck-sized douche kayak like Blake?
Maybe I’ve misjudged her.
But as I sit here, my heart pounding away like a mad bass beat, all I can think about is how damned much I like her. Instant chemistry.
I suddenly break out in a nervous sweat. How or when will I get to see Keni again? I never got her number. I’d ask River, but it’s not the same. Texting a girl without an invitation is taking a huge risk. What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she was only being polite and friendly? I’m a loser. What business do I have even fantasizing about a girl like that?
Fuck. I can’t breathe. I stand, and the room spins like I’m inside a blender. Faint voices murmur: “What’s the matter with that nerd?” “I think he’s going to hurl.” “First time out of your padded retard room?”
I clutch my shirt, gasping for air. “Can’t breathe.” But does anyone care? Does anyone try to help?
No. They just laugh as I drop.
When I come around, the room is too bright to see clearly. “Where…wher—”
“See, man. Told ya. He’s fine. Just another dumbass freshman,” says some guy wearing a Go Blue T-shirt.
“He looks pretty bad. I think we should call Meg. She’s in charge of kicking out the baby party crashers. He’s not even sixteen yet.”
Sixteen?
I stagger to my feet, ignoring all the stares.
Where’s River? I still can’t breathe right.
Panting, I head to the front door and go outside, my feet dragging. A few small groups are gathered on the front porch, sitting on the railings and drinking out of red cups.
No sign of River.
River. Need to find her. Figuring she might be in the bathroom or out back, I turn to head inside when I hear her voice nearby. Sounds like she’s at the side of the house.
I go down the steps and walk around, following the sound of her voice yelling at someone. “Blake, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. And don’t even go there with me. You’re with Keni now.”
“Well, she’s not here, Riv,” he says.
“So? I’m not going behind a sister’s back.”
“Is it because of that guy you’re with?” Blake says.
“Huff? He’s like a brother. And tell your idiot friends to stop giving him death stares. He’s done nothing to you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Blake says in a snide tone.
“See. That right there is why I don’t want anything to do with you. You’ve turned into this massive dick, and so have your roid-head friends. Just leave me alone. And stop fucking with Huff.”
“Or what?”
“You’ll be banned from our house,” River warns.
“Go ahead and try. I’m fucking half your sisters. They seem to like me just fine.”
This guy is screwing twenty different girls? How’s that possible? He sounds like such an asshole.
“They can have you, Blake. But you can’t have me,” River replies. “And get your shit together. I mean it. You’re supposed to be an example to your team. Stop or else.”
Stop what?
There’s a break in the conversation, followed by a yelp. “Blake! Let go.”
“I’m not done talking to you,” Blake says.
“Ow!” River yelps, followed by a muffled scream.
I freeze, my feet glued to the ground. That guy is hurting River, so why am I just standing here?
I should go for help. But then I remember a bunch of this guy’s friends are right around the corner at the front of the house. They aren’t going to help.
But River’s sisters will. I’m about to run back inside, but my feet won’t move.
Suddenly, I’m right back in high school, staring down the crowded hallway after seventh period. River is yelling at me to help Joy. It’s a nightmare I’ve relived a thousand times. If only I hadn’t acted like a huge pussy, maybe I would’ve gotten to Joy in time. At the very least, I would have caught Manda and her friends in the act. They would have gone to prison if there’d been a witness. But that didn’t happen. Joy died. No one paid. And it’s my fault.
Another muffled sound echoes through the air.
I draw a breath, and a familiar wave of ice rolls down my back, holding me like a vise.
Think of River. He’s hurting her.
My body breaks free of its invisible shackles, and I rush toward the sounds to find Blake holding River against the side of the house with one hand over her mouth. The other hand is grabbing her breast.
“Get off her!” I yell, barreling into the guy and knocking him to the dirt.
River gets free and starts yelling for help.
Meanwhile, Blake gets to his feet, fists balled tight. I know he’s about to kick the shit out of me. The guy probably outweighs me by a hundred pounds.
Blake charges, hitting me in the chest with his shoulder like he’s mowing down an opponent on the field. I fly back, landing on my ass. In an instant, he’s straddling me, his fist pulling back.
“Blake! Leave him alone.” River rushes in, clawing at his arm, but he’s twice her size.
I close my eyes as the sledgehammer attached to his wrist pounds into my face once, twice, three times.
The pain is instant and excruciating, way worse than I imagined—like my face is being tenderized by a tractor, each punch tearing into skin and smashing muscle.
Different voices, both male and female, fill the air. The guys are trying to pull Blake away. River is frantically telling her sisters that Blake attacked her.
“Dude, dude! You’re drunk. Get off him,” one guy says.
I open my eyes to see two of Blake’s friends pushing him back.
“I’ll fucking kill you, man.” Blake points at me, trying to fight his way to me.
Meanwhile, blood gushes from my nose.
“The cops are on their way, Blake,” one of the girls screams. “Just leave!”
“You asshole!” says another one of River’s sisters, who’s holding River in a hug. “You’re going to jail!”
“Come on, man. You’ll get kicked off the team if they arrest you. You gotta go.” Blake’s friends drag him away.
“Oh, he’s getting arrested!” River yells, losing her shit as Blake and the other guys disappear around the front of the house. “I’m filing charges, and so is Huff.” River points to me, finally realizing I’m still on the ground, seeing stars. And moons. And red. “Jesus, Huff. Are you okay?” She rushes over and crouches next to me.
“You were right. Your friends are great,” I say. “Super nice.”