I killed Blake. I killed him right in front of thousands of people, and no one suspects a thing.
What worries me most is that I don’t feel remorse. The guy tried to kill River. He tried to kill me. And for what? Because he didn’t want to face the consequences of assaulting her? His precious football career was worth more to him than our lives. It’s hard to feel bad over a psycho like that, especially when you think about what it would have done to our families.
And, just great, now I have to worry about the other thoughts running through my head. Like hunting down Manda. Who’s to say that this hasn’t happened to me for a reason? Because the truth is, the only other thing I’ve wished for more than this transformation is justice for Joy. Now it feels like everything is being handed to me on a silver platter.
“Hey,” says River, running up behind me while I exit the stadium, where people are crying or are heartlessly taking pictures.
“Hey,” I reply without slowing my brisk pace.
“Huff, why did you go down on the field?”
I remain silent, marching in the direction of my dorm.
“Huff, answer me.” She grabs my arm to stop me.
I turn and look down at her sweet oval face. “I think you’d better stay away from me, Riv.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s not safe.” I’m being sincere. What if I got angry at her and inadvertently made her head explode?
“Huff, come on. You could never hurt me.”
“You don’t know that, River.”
“Of course I do.”
“I just killed Blake by wishing it,” I whisper.
“What? I think you’re losing it, Huff. That guy takes massive roids. I told him he needed to stop before his heart imploded, and he didn’t listen.”
“Then what about the confession he made right before he dropped dead?”
“Who knows? He was probably on something, and the guilt was too much. Guys like him act tough, but they’re not. They have deep-seated—”
“Not interested in your pseudo-psych right now, Riv.”
Her brown eyes narrow into angry little slits. “Don’t be rude.”
“All right, then I’ll be honest: I don’t want you hanging around me anymore.”
“Huff!”
“I mean it.” I try to think of something that will piss her off. I have to get her to stay away. “Every time I’m around you, bad shit happens. I never should have come here. I never should’ve stayed friends with you after Joy died. We all know you could’ve helped her if you’d just run to the field and told the principal. But no, you wasted your time coming to find me while Joy was getting the shit kicked out of her face.”
River’s jaw drops, her lower lip quivering. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“Why? It’s the truth. And you know it is because you’ve thought it a million times. Isn’t that really why you moved away? The guilt. You couldn’t stand seeing my face, knowing what you did.”
“That’s bullshit! We moved because my parents were afraid for my life. That town is fucked in the head.”
I nod slowly. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, why don’t you use some of those psych lessons on yourself and leave me the fuck alone.”
The hurt wells in her teary eyes, but then her lips pucker into a little circle.
Damn it. I should’ve known she’d see through me. She’s known me forever.
She inhales sharply and shakes a finger at my face. “I’m going to give you some space. And when that’s over, Huff, you’d better be ready to grovel and apologize for your stupidity.” River turns and marches back into the stadium, where the crowd is starting to trickle out. I spot Keni coming out too. She heads straight for me, all smiles. What’s she so happy about?
“Hey, Huff.”
“Hey.”
“That was weird, right? I kept telling Blake to lay off the injections. He never listened to anyone except his trainer, aka dealer.”
“So you think he died of an overdose?”
“I think his huge ego killed him.”
Keni doesn’t seem the least bit saddened by it. “Didn’t you two date?”
“For a minute, but I officially broke it off with him this morning. I always knew he had a thing for River. I was just some toy to use and make her jealous.”
I wonder why Keni is telling me this or speaking to me at all. She was repulsed by me earlier. More importantly, she’s acting like what we just witnessed back inside is no big deal. Perfectly normal. Even I know it’s not, and when the shock wears off, reality is going to come down hard on me.
“It really sucks that he treated you like that.” I don’t know what else to say.
“Yeah, but look at him now. Karma’s a bitch.”
Wow. She really does have a dark side.
“So, hey. About earlier. Sorry if I acted weird,” she says. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
Weird isn’t the word I’d use. Hostile is more like it. “No problem. We all have our days. But I actually have to go take care of something.” I need to overanalyze everything and heavily question my existence.
“Sure. Maybe we can go out sometime?”
Did my dream girl just ask me out? Right after I killed her ex?
“Yeah. Sure.” Again, I don’t know what else to say. I’m not exactly dating material right now, but no one’s ever asked me out.
“Awesome. I’ll get your number from River.” She walks off toward her sorority house with a bounce in her step.
I raise a brow. Something about that girl is off, but I can’t think about it right now. I can only try to clear my head and make sure I don’t inadvertently murder anyone else. Even if they deserve it.
Later that night, I’m lying in bed. River is completely silent on texts, and Ronno is nowhere to be found. I need someone to talk to, someone who’s not going to think I’ve lost it. That’s when my phone rings. It’s Kyle, my older brother. He’s the last person I want to speak with.
“Hey. What’s up?” I say.
“I just saw the news. Tell me you weren’t there.”
“I wasn’t there,” I say flatly.
“So you were. Great. Just what Mom and Dad want: You witnessing someone dying on your second day away from home.”
“I’m fine.” Nothing to see here. “From what I hear, the guy was on something—just a matter of time before it got him.”
“What about the other thing? How am I going to explain that away so our parents don’t get on a plane and drag you home?”
“What other thing?” There are just so many “things.” I’m losing track.
“Your name being mentioned in the local news today. The girl in the well?”
He heard about that? It was hardly national news, so that means Kyle found out some other way. I can guess what it is. The bastard’s keeping tabs on me.
“It was no big deal,” I say. “I happened to be walking by and heard her.”
“Why were you all the way across town?”
“What’s with all the questions, Officer Kyle? Am I being accused of a crime? Do you think I put her down there?” I know he doesn’t, but I’m making a point: Get your nose out of my ass.
“Hudson,” he says in that deep brotherly tone he likes to use when he wants to be taken seriously, “I promised Mom and Dad I’d make sure you’re safe, and since the senator in your district happens to be a good friend of mine and the police chief—”
“So you’re spying on me.”
“I’m keeping my word. You know how they are, Huff.”
“So you’re spying on me,” I repeat.
“Call it what you want, kid.”
Spying.
He goes on, “Look, I know there was an incident last night at River’s sorority. Then I saw the news trending. That guy who just dropped dead on the field wouldn’t happen to be the same Blake who pulped your face, would it?”
“Yes. And it was nothing. The guy got drunk and roughed up River a little.”
“And sent you to the ER. Why are you downplaying it? Why didn’t you go in to file a formal complaint? Why didn’t you call me?” Kyle says judgmentally.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you. I’m a grown man. Do you call me every time something happens?”
“I’m your big brother, and my job is to look out for you. Not the other way around.”
So now he cares? What bag of fake shit is this? “Let’s be honest. The only people you care about are either named Kyle or are no longer with us.” It’s a low blow, but the truth is long overdue. I was shoved aside and forgotten about after she died. No one gave a crap about my grief. Now I’m an adult, and it’s time to let go of the past. Make my own destiny. Carve out a place in this world. None of it includes listening to any more of Kyle’s holier-than-thou BS.
“You know I care about you, Huff. But I am the only person in a position to get justice for our sister. So if that’s left you feeling neglected, I’m sorry,” he says, like he’s not sorry at all. “You’ll just have to be a man about it. Like you said.”
I’ve never realized until now what a dick my brother is. Correction, I always knew, but I gave him a pass. Who was I to judge? No one. But I’m not no one anymore.
“I’ll be a man,” I say, “and you keep chasing fame, power, and money, riding ‘justice for Joy’ coattails. Sound good?”
“I can take the jabs, Huff. No problem. I was only calling to tell you I’m here for you. I’ve got your back no matter what, so don’t be afraid to pick up the phone. That’s all I wanted to say. Other than that, I know you’re smart, and you’ll figure out how to handle this stuff on your own.”
Ah. So he wanted me to know how incredibly lucky I am to have him in my life to save me when I fail. Cool. I’ll send him a fruit basket and a thank-you card.
He continues, “Also, I thought you should know that closing arguments were yesterday. We expect a ruling on the civil suit by Wednesday; then I’m done. I’m moving on for better or worse.”
In other words, it’s over. No more legal battles.
“Will Manda be there?” I ask.
“Probably. Why?”
Because a very dark part of me wants to know where to find her. “Just hoping you’ll send her my love.”
Kyle doesn’t react to my sarcastic remark.
“Look, Hudson, just stay out of trouble over there. Okay? Mom and Dad are under enough stress with the trial coming to a close. They’ve been getting death threats, and they think there’ll be a backlash from some of the families if we win.”
Of course there will be. I put nothing past Manda’s people. “Everything’s fine here, and it’ll stay that way.”
“Good. Because you should be enjoying your freedom. Experience life. Girls. Fall in love. Get your heart broken. Find yourself.”
“I’m doing all that and more.” More than you could ever imagine.
“And next time, Huff, text or call me if something happens. Don’t make me hear about it from a stranger.” He pauses for a long moment. “You’re sure nothing else is going on?”
“I almost died last night and woke up looking like a very meaty Calvin Klein model. Oh, and I have superpowers now. Other than that, no. ’Tsallgood.”
“Very funny. I got to go and hop on a call.”
As always, he has important things to do. “Bye.”
The call ends, and I set my cell on the nightstand. I’m genuinely tempted to get on a plane and pay Manda a visit. I bet I could get a spot in the back of the courtroom and watch real justice play out. Wishing her dead.
A sharp pain shoots through my heart. I sit up, clutching the fabric of my shirt. “Jeeesus,” I groan. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
After a few long moments, the pain subsides.
I wish I understood what was triggering it, but so far, it seems linked to my anger. Either way, it wasn’t enough to stop me from wishing Blake dead. I doubt it would stop me from delivering the same results to Manda and her friends if I ever get the chance. In the meantime, I need to learn more about what’s happening to me and why.