I follow Manda and the two people who are with her. I think one is Tasha. The other I don’t recognize. The three leave the restaurant and stagger down the grass-lined sidewalk, deeper into the resort. They’re drunk. They’re giggling. I can’t believe my luck.
It’s really her. And bonus. One of the other girls who helped murder Joy is here, too.
I follow them, keeping my distance, but I’m still close enough to hear them having the time of their lives.
I bet they’re celebrating their victory. Got away with murder.
I know I told myself I only came to deliver a message, but that was before my conversation with Pen. All that garbage I had in my head about being changed maybe isn’t garbage after all.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Kyle. But there’s not a chance in hell I’m talking to him now. He wants money. I want revenge. I want Manda to drop dead alongside Tasha. I want my face to be the last thing they see. Just like Blake.
A painful jabbing sensation hits me in the chest, but for the second time, I power through it. I don’t care how much it hurts or why. I’ve dreamed of this moment. I’ll kill her with my bare hands if I have to.
“Manda!” I call out.
She stops, and so do her friends.
“Who’s that?” one asks.
“I don’t know,” Manda replies.
It’s dark, and they can’t see my face, so I play it to my advantage. “Why didn’t you call and tell me you were in town?” I keep walking toward them.
“Tim?” Manda calls out. “Is that you?”
I think Tim was one of Conner’s friends. Conner was the dick who used to mess with me—or have his friends do it. To this day, I still can’t eat sandwiches.
I keep walking until I’m just a few feet away. “No. Not Tim.”
She frowns, trying to make out my face.
“I’m Joy’s little brother. Huff. Remember me?”
“Let’s go.”
“You going to walk away, Manda?” I snarl.
“Yep. I’ve got nothing to say to you or your scummy family.”
My scummy family? “I want to know how you live with yourself, Manda. How do you kill an innocent person like Joy and keep looking at that ugly fucking face of yours in the mirror?”
She stops and turns with a drunken sway. She marches up and spits in my face. “Like your stupid mother, Joy was a useless, trashy cunt. I piss on her grave every chance I get.” Manda laughs and marches away.
Me? I’m beyond furious. I can’t see straight. My heart is screaming. Die, you fucking bitch. Die.
Manda trips and falls, going headfirst onto the walkway. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or if her life is really about to end because I want it so badly.
Her friends try to help her up, but Manda can’t seem to get to her feet or hold her own weight. Suddenly, she turns on her hands and knees and begins throwing up in the thick wet grass to the side of the walkway.
I walk up to her and stare down, my heart filled with hate. I’m determined to see her life end tonight one way or another. Like I said, I’ll use my bare hands if I have to. Don’t care.
“Hey, Tasha. I have the same question for you?” I say. “How do you live with yourself, knowing you’re such a piece of shit?”
Tasha ignores me and bends down, trying to tug Manda to her feet. “Manda, hurry up. I told you not to drink so much.”
“Fuck you!” Manda tries to get the hair out of her vomit-covered face, but it gets tangled in her fingers. And comes off. No, not her fingers. Her hair. All of it.
It’s a wig. And underneath are patches of short, scabby tufts.
Everything inside me shifts, like earth moving in a landslide. Manda doesn’t live with herself. She’s rotting from the inside out. I can see it on her face—the hollow cheeks, the bulging eyes, her sickly look. And I can’t think of a better punishment for someone like her.
“I don’t care what deal my brother cut with you or your families,” I say. “Until you own up publicly to what you did, I’m going to make sure every second of your lives are spent being reminded that you’re animals. Murderers. That you belong in prison.”
“Your family is signing,” Manda yells. “If you talk, you’ll be the one in prison for breaking a court order. Your stupid parents will have to pay back every dime! So…” Manda points at me as I turn to walk away. “Hahaha! They’ll be poor as fuck, and you’ll be getting ass-raped for breakfast over your cunt of a sister!”
I keep walking. I don’t care what she says. She’s garbage. And I don’t care what my family does, because I’m not signing anything. I’m not part of that deal, and no judge can force me to live by an agreement I wasn’t part of.
Manda. What a miserable human being, I think. I don’t know if I really have the impossible ability to make people drop dead, but I realize I don’t care. I don’t want to be like her. No regard for anyone else’s life. Besides, even if I could kill people instantly, that wouldn’t be a fitting punishment for Manda. It would be a release.
Going forward, I know I’ll step up and defend the people I love—even if that means killing someone. But defending out of love isn’t the same as killing out of hate.
The pain in my chest melts away. My heart is beating like I’ve never felt it before. Steady. Strong. Filled with conviction.
I know who I am now.
Whether it’s this body or the old one. Doesn’t matter. I can face whatever life throws at me.
I’m almost back to the front of the restaurant when the scent of strawberries fills the air. I stop in my tracks. Joy? I know it’s got to be my imagination, but I swear I can smell her, like she’s right here next to me.
A strange sense of peace washes over me, and I somehow know everything’s going to be all right. My life was meant to lead here.
I call for a ride home, and twenty minutes later I’m pulling up the driveway of our light blue, two-story ranch with the giant willow in the front yard. I’ve only been gone for one week, but everything feels different. Smaller. I know it’s because I have changed.
The door opens, and Mom’s wide blue eyes greet me. “Huff?” She covers her mouth in shock.
“Hi, Mom. We need to talk.”