Helena
I was not very squeamish. Old houses are full of nasty things. Roaches, rats, snakes, abandoned trash, dead raccoons, refrigerators with food still in them, and that’s to say nothing of the hazards of a wizard’s house, from poltergeists to paper imps, or the time the skull on a fireplace mantel opened its rattling jaws and said, Leave now or face your doom! (It was just a little security system, enchanted to say that on a loop, but it scared the crap out of me.)
However, these creatures were pretty high in ew-factor. As I got out of the car and approached them, the brothers ducked around the side of the van to wolf out. One of the snakes sniffed the air and shot toward me, flattening the grass in its wake.
I zapped it, praying my lightning blast didn’t also light the landscape on fire. My aim was good, jolting through the monster, but it shook it off and kept coming. It was almost at my feet before I zapped it again and this time it stopped moving.
The monster looked like a sea serpent but it had eight teeny tiny legs, little antennae/feeler sort of things on its face so it resembled a catfish, and a little fin running down its back. I love animals but this thing was ghastly.
Billie had whisked herself up a live oak tree so she had the high ground for attacking them back. Not a bad idea. I climbed up on the hood of the van so I could see where they were all headed.
I counted seven more but I heard some commotion in the backyard too. Were more coming?
“These are probably Sinistral scouts!” I said. “They’re like ants. We have to kill them or they’ll report back to Ursula.”
Billie got the joke and laughed. They reminded me of the eels in the Little Mermaid. (A movie I was only allowed to watch at a ‘trashy’ friends’ house, because we didn’t own a television, but I remembered from our brief friendship that Billie got all the animated movies she wanted as a kid. She was what my mother would have certainly considered a trashy friend. And they got all the fun.)
“There are more in the backyard!” she said, blasting another one of the remaining three. The grass smoked.
“Don’t light anything on fire!” I cried. “I’m going to circle around and check out the back. Keep these two busy.” The remaining two were headed for Billie anyway, so I dashed between the house and the outdoor kitchen, praying I could handle what I would find.
The swans and the serpents were doing battle and it looked like the swans were winning. Two of them had a serpent in their beaks and they tore it in half before swooping down and ganging up on another serpent that was trying to escape. The serpent let out a sound that was half-hiss, half-rasping roar as the swans rent it to pieces.
I watched in horror as the Ethereal swan monsters (at this point, they seemed as monstrous as anything) destroyed the Sinistrals. This reminded me of some of the weird, grim classic paintings on the walls of Ladywald, my childhood home. It seemed like one of those metaphorical things. “Ah, this is meant to represent the Bavarian warlocks killing the forces of the high demon Moloch in 1643,” I could imagine my mother saying.
The swans finished off the Sinistrals and settled back on the gravestones. They all looked at me as if challenging me.
Maybe they wanted me to thank them?
I was completely unnerved by their eyes, black as coal.
I bowed. “Thank you.”
Then I ran back around to the side of the house to catch my breath a little.
I couldn’t sell the house with the creepy graveyard swans. If the faeries bought this place, they could expect more attacks from monsters and it would be their job to fend them off, but right now I had monster swans just chilling like they intended to take over the house themselves.
But they were Ethereal spirits, and I was an Ethereal witch, so if I attacked them, they could poof off to Etherium and I might be brought before the council. Billie, too. I wasn’t supposed to attack allies. Then they would surely look into our other business and take Pandora’s Box and the books of Arcana.
Oh, crap. I was so shaky and nothing had even really happened. I just couldn’t shake the sight of how easily the swans tore up their enemies.
“Byron…,” I whispered. “Byron, are you here?”
“Always.” His voice was just behind me. Then his arms circled me. For a moment, he was solid, knowing what I needed, giving me a strong embrace, his arms locked around me like a wall that would protect me from danger. I wanted to melt into that embrace, but I didn’t dare. He couldn’t be with me in this way. Only in dreams could we touch for long.
He had to let go all too soon, with an almost imperceptible sigh. “They scared you,” he said.
“A little bit. It’s silly, but…I didn’t expect super battle swans. What are those things? Why are they hanging around?”
“To fight you for the house,” he said.
I never knew when Byron could answer a question. Usually, the answers fell within the bounds of his curse and he couldn’t tell me anything. “Fight me?”
“I’m afraid so. But you’ll win. You must win.”
“What kind of a mad quest are you sending me on?”
“The very maddest kind.” He smiled. “But if you succeed, I will reward you for the rest of your life. And I think you already know that I am good at rewards. But you’ve only had a small taste so far. I will worship you as a demigod worships his goddess.”
I snorted. “If you were a demigod, at least it would explain why you can be so cheesy.”
“And you love every minute of it.” His golden eyes drew in my soul, eyes so captivating that nearly every thought left my head except how long it had been since we flew together in dreams. Dream sex was so light and effortless, quite a contrast to the rough, earthy, messy sex I had with Graham, although…shit, now I was thinking about that too.
Byron grinned. “You don’t have time for this right now.”
Right. I could hear some growling in the front yard so I knew Jake and Billie were still fighting, and I was worried about Jasper with his bad leg. I ran back to the front of the house.
“Back’s clear!” I yelled.
“Help Jasper!” Billie cried, as I noticed Jake was locked in battle with one of the serpents. He had one in his jaws, but the serpent’s tail whipped back and wrapped around Jake’s leg, trying to knock him off his game. Jake was trying to kill it before it could try anything, shaking its head. The serpents were pretty strong against a physical attack, it seemed.
“Where is he?”
“In the maze!”
Oh, great.
I ran into the hedge maze. I could hear growling somewhere. The hedges were so overgrown that I couldn’t go down the paths without little branches snagging at my hair and sleeves. I followed the sound.
Then I saw a serpent slither past me. I dashed after it but when it heard me in pursuit, it suddenly snapped back toward me and launched into the air toward my face.
Now I made the girliest shriek in my arsenal. These things could leap? What the hell!? I felt its slimy skin slam into mine as it knocked me back against the bushes and started wrapping itself around me, its little feet gripping at my clothes as it went.
Screaming. Face. Off.
My wand was useless when I couldn’t focus to cast a spell out of my disgust and shock. A big bitchin’ sword would have been welcome right about now.
I heard someone coming and I thought it would be Byron because Billie was up a tree and the Sullivans were wolves, but instead it was a strange, strapping man with a pitchfork, which he raised like a trident, pointed at me.
“Le—feu—!” I managed, and my wand sputtered some flames toward the serpent.
Unfazed by my pathetic fire spell, the man speared the serpent dead and pulled it off me. Then he held out a hand to yank me out of the hedge.
“Thank you,” I gasped.
“You must be a witch,” he said.
“Yes. Hi.” I had no time to process this man or this question. I bolted toward the growling.
Jasper was bristled, in a standoff with another serpent. Plus there was another one circling around from behind; I could hear it moving around the bend in the hedge paths. It was only moments before they could get him in a pincer attack, and he wasn’t putting any weight on his bad leg.
“L’eclair!” I summoned up another good flash of light and another one bit the dust. The stranger had gone a different way and I heard a very matter-of-fact goring noise before he came around the corner with the other serpent dangling off his pitchfork. He offered it to me casually.
“Good eating, yes?”
“No,” I said. “Are you all right, Jasper?” I crouched to check on his leg. He wasn’t putting weight on it.
Jasper nodded and nudged his head against my knee before running past me. He moved faster now, with three good legs in his wolf form. I knew he wanted to make sure Jake was all right. I followed him, but I glanced back at the stranger. He was tall, well-muscled in a laborer sort of way, mostly around the shoulders, but quite thin otherwise, with sandy brown hair of ruffled length. He killed the serpents so I was hoping he was on our side, and maybe a friend or relative of Deveraux Greenwood.
When I emerged from the maze, Billie, Jake and Byron were all talking in a cluster, so it seemed the threat was over.
“Oh, hello…did you still work here?” Byron said, looking at the newcomer.
“Oh, it’s you again,” Billie said. I guess they’d had an encounter while we were out.
“No, as Deveraux was getting near the end, he wanted most of us to go so as not to see him in decline,” he said. “But I’ve been keeping an eye on the old girl.” He put down the pitchfork and pulled the serpent off the tines with his boot.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Ston, the groundskeeper. I live down the ways a bit, with the horses.”
“Stan?”
“Ston,” he said. “Gaston.”
“So you’re the one with those pretty horses!” Billie started to sing, “No—one’s—slick as—”
He held up a hand and silenced her with a look of death. “That is why I go by Ston now, and I have killed men for less.”
“It’s a fun song!” she said.
“Yes. Delightful. The first time or two.” He gave the serpent corpse a little kick toward her. “What is this, now? I see you have removed the toilet from the house. I remember when that was installed. Imported from Italy.”
“Gaston is a much better name than ‘Ston’,” Billie said. “Song or not.” I was inclined to agree with her and immediately pegged Gaston as the sort of man who might make some trouble. I felt I had a pretty good sense of these things.
Jake and Jasper were rushing to the van to change back into their clothes. They vanished from sight and Jasper called, “Vampire! He’s a vampire. Just so you know.”
That explained a lot. “Oh. Well. Nice to meet you, Ston the vampire. We are, in fact, contractors and we’re trying to just, you know, give the house a little update and some repairs so it won’t go the way of the servants’ quarters over there. It’s a gorgeous house and I’m thrilled to be working with it.” I also got a feeling Gaston was possessive over the house and grounds and he didn’t seem like a man we should anger.
Gaston looked toward the Sullivans.
“It’s my house,” Billie said. “Just so you know. I see you waiting for the menfolk to re-enter the picture.”
“You’re accusing me of sexism? I was just waiting for the entire party to assemble.”
“Well, I’ve dealt with enough vampires,” Billie said. “And I’m gonna guess you’re not a spring chicken because who would name a kid Gaston lately?”
“Well, no, I am three hundred years old. Close. Who’s counting?”
“Oh. Wow. Three hundred; you’re an old one,” Billie said.
“It all blends together after a while,” he said. “I’ve worked here since Deveraux was a little boy.” He looked at the blue sky, briefly wistful. “Looks like you could use some help with the shrubs.”
“Actually, yes,” I said, my mind immediately seizing on the opportunity. Gaston could be the answer to our problems. We were short on muscle and short on time. “I think that—”
Billie cleared her throat. “Group meeting.”
She pulled us back to the porch. The brothers were buttoning up their shirts, although I think they really could have left them off. “What’s up?” Jake said.
“I don’t know if we should hire a vampire,” Billie said. “I mean…they get hungry.”
“I’m sure he isn’t going to eat us! He was Deveraux’s friend! Vampires aren’t all bad. One of my brother’s bond-brothers is a vampire. If you want to destroy Etherium maybe you should think about these things a little bit.”
“I know how to operate heavy equipment too if you need someone to take down the servants’ quarters,” Gaston called. “Of course, I don’t work for free but I do know a gentleman who will give me a deal on the rental.”
“Don’t tell me you’re hot for vampires too,” Billie said.
“What!?” This was the last thing on my mind. “I’m trying to be practical! We need help and we are really getting in over our heads. Especially if—” I cut myself off and physically bit my tongue. I had promised myself I’d be nice to Billie.
“Especially if what?” she pressed.
“We could really use your help in the house,” I said. “Renovating the summer kitchen into an artist’s cottage is hardly the top priority.”
“Well, I think it’s going to be a real selling point,” Billie said.
“But Hel’s right,” Jasper said. “Unfortunately, thanks to my fucking leg injury, I’m falling behind. If Gaston can get the landscaping done and demolish the outbuildings that should put us back on track.”
“All right, all right, well, I’m gonna do my thing and y’all do yours,” Billie said. “I can’t wait to work on the main house but I just don’t have any experience doing the grunt work and you wouldn’t want me in your way anyway.”
I didn’t have time for nonsense and there was no better way to deal with unwanted emotions than to scrape paint off walls, so I got back to my thing and let Billie have her cottage. The guys stayed outside discussing the logistics of taking down the old servants’ quarters. In my experience, for guys, renting heavy equipment was right up there with sex.
Byron walked into the foyer and looked up at me, where I was currently wearing a mask to protect my lungs from potential lead and standing on a ladder scraping and scraping.
“I really wish I could help you with that,” he said.
“Me too.”
“Are you feeling cross, my angel?”
“No, I just—” I pulled the mask around my neck. “I’m freaking out. It’s Billie’s house but my money is on the line. More importantly, your life is on the line, right? And the whole magical world? And I have no idea what we’re doing. We haven’t found your body. We haven’t found Deveraux’s diaries. There are monster-killing swans in the backyard. We’re not working as a team. And we’re running behind. Oh, and Billie might sacrifice herself for the cause, but I’m not even sure what the cause is! I just have to trust you that it’s a good idea.”
“And do you trust me?” He walked up to the bottom of the ladder. His beautiful eyes were about level with my ass but instead they swiveled up to my sweaty brow and flyaway strands of hair. He smiled, and I could tell the sight of me made him happy. I wasn’t used to anyone looking at me like that. “Do you trust that whatever happens, I would never want to hurt you? That I believe in your strength?”
I swallowed. “I want to, Byron.”
But who are you? I thought.
“You need to learn to work as a team,” he said. “It will serve you well.”
“I’m trying to work as a team! I work well with Jake and Jasper. But I never asked for Billie to buy the house.”
“I didn’t expect her either, but…is she useful? Yes.”
“Is she, though?”
“Have you ever met a faery?” Byron asked.
“I mean…yes. I’ve met a faery.”
“You don’t know what faeries like in a house,” he said.
“Neither does she!”
“But you must admit you’re trying to take control of the house.”
“You’re not winning any points here, buddy,” I grumbled. I turned back to my work, scraping with all my might.
“I’m not trying to win points,” he said. “I’m trying to save this hot ass.” He gave my jeans a little slap. “Teamwork helps for flipping houses and going into battle. And if you trust me—as I pray you do—your battles aren’t over. But you will win them. And then you’ll have what you really want.”
“I don’t really want anything!”
“Oh? Well. I guess I read you wrongly, angel.” He stepped back into the wall as the door creaked open.