BY THE END OF the day, Mellie was satisfied with Rufus’s progress, although the dog seemed listless and a little down.
“Sorry, fella,” she told him, after the clinic had closed and she was doing her last rounds. Rather than taking him out of the cage, she’d sat down on the ground next to it to examine him. Seeing the sadness in his eyes, she stayed a little longer after checking his drain and incision site, just to keep him company. “I know you’re not feeling your best, and probably would prefer to be home, but we’re taking good care of you.”
“He doesn’t seem too reassured.”
The sound of Delano’s voice, low and mellow, startled her, and Mellie’s head jerked up as she turned to look at him.
“He’s still a bit groggy, and unsure because it’s so strange,” she mumbled, stroking the dog’s head. She still felt weird about what had happened earlier, and it made her revert to her prior stiffness. “I’m sure he’ll be okay once he settles in.”
Delano moved closer, then sat down next to her so he could also pet the mongrel.
“I always feel bad about leaving the animals overnight in the hospital,” he admitted. “Even though I’m pretty sure they’ll be okay, there’s a part of me that worries anyway.”
“I know,” she agreed. It was difficult to strike the balance between professionalism and very genuine concern, and sometimes people took her empathy toward the animals as a type of weakness. Yet, she didn’t hesitate to confide in Delano. “They can’t articulate it the way we can, but I know they fret at being left in a strange place, especially when they’re in pain.”
“That’s true, but he won’t be with us for long.”
“Hopefully,” she replied, determined to break the intimacy of their conversation and move away from his too-close proximity.
What was it about him that drew her in against her will, and rendered her weak in the knees?
No matter what it was, she told herself sternly, she refused to give in to it. And staying here in the quiet of the after-hours clinic, so close that she could feel the warmth from his skin and smell the remnants of his cologne, was a bad idea.
As she rose to her feet, Delano stroked behind Rufus’s ear again, and the dog gave him such a sad look he kept doing it.
Looking up at her, he asked, “Are you coming to obedience class tonight?”
She’d been thinking about it, wanting to see Delano take Baldur through his paces. No, actually what she’d fantasized about was seeing Delano in a tracksuit or shorts, running around. The Dobe was beautiful, but to Mellie his owner was even more so.
It would be yummy to see all those muscles in motion. Just the thought sent a trickle of desire along her veins.
For that very reason, she replied, “I don’t think so. I need to get home and help Johnny Luck with the animals, and it would be nice to have a quiet evening at home. The last week has been stressful and tiring.”
“Understandable,” he replied.
He was still sitting on the floor and tilted his head back to look at her. It gave Mellie a new and strangely tantalizing view of his face, and her breath hitched in her chest as her gaze landed and clung to his lips.
Delano had a mouth made for kissing—truly he did. It was full-lipped, but eminently masculine at the same time, with a natural upturn at the corners that took it from attractive into the “sinful” category.
The temptation to bend and put her mouth on his was almost overwhelming, and when the tip of his tongue slipped out to dampen his lower lip, a shudder of desire heated Mellie’s skin.
No. No. No.
This wouldn’t do at all!
She spun on her heel and, in her haste, wobbled. Delano grabbed her leg, high up on her thigh, apparently trying to stabilize her balance. But what he did, instead, was make her gasp at the strength of his grip and the warmth of his palm evident through her scrubs.
“You okay there?”
His voice sounded even deeper than before, and the tone sent another shiver down her spine. Galvanized into action by the unwanted attraction weakening her knees, Mellie stepped carefully away and swallowed to make sure her voice wouldn’t croak.
“Yes.” Intent on sounding unmoved, it came out cold, as sharp as ice. “I’m fine.”
Hearing the gate to the kennel close, she risked a glance over her shoulder. He’d shot the bolt home and, as she watched, rose to his feet with fluid grace, giving her a fine view of his glutes and thigh muscles at work.
Before he could catch her staring, Mellie looked down at the chart on the table in front of her, although she couldn’t for the life of her remember which animal’s it was.
“Well, I’m going to head out so I can get ready for class.”
He sounded normal again, making Mellie wonder if she’d imagined the change in his tone before.
“Okay,” she replied, assiduously avoiding looking his way and keeping her voice level. “See you tomorrow.”
“Night.”
She stayed where she was, not moving a muscle until she heard him call for Baldur and exit through the rear door of the clinic. In fact, she didn’t relax until the sound of his car engine faded into the distance.
Then the air left her lungs with a whoosh, and she put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.
What on earth was she doing? The very last thing she needed or wanted was to be drooling over Delano Logan. Sure, her instinctive distrust for him and his motivations had waned, but if she were smart, she’d hang on to at least some of her suspiciousness.
He claimed to be in the clear with the Racing Commission, and determined to go back to Trinidad as soon as he possibly could, but there was a part of her that still couldn’t bring itself to believe him.
Maybe it was because she’d found her place—and her true, authentic self—here on St. Eustace, and found it impossible to fathom why anyone else wouldn’t feel the same.
Her life was busy, and fulfilling, but she also had friends and a social life. She worked hard, but there was the opportunity to play just as hard, whenever she wanted. Since arriving here, the stress of trying to be what others expected her to be had finally fallen away, and she could chart her own course.
Or had felt as though she could, until Delano had turned up.
As attracted to him as she was, she couldn’t lose sight of the fact he had the power to completely undo almost everything she’d built.
Including, she acknowledged to herself, her hard-won self-esteem. She was honest enough to admit she wanted to sleep with him, but the thought of him turning out to be unworthy of her trust was a barrier she’d find hard to overcome.
The old lesson—that caring for and even loving someone didn’t mean they had your best interests at heart, or wouldn’t lie for their own gains—was ingrained on her psyche. Carved there by her mother, and reinforced by Kyle. And unless she could trust Delano, and be assured her emotions wouldn’t be involved, so when he left she wouldn’t be devastated, he was definitely off-limits!
However difficult it might be, she had to revert to her previous manner of treating him: putting aside all sympathy, quashing any overtures of friendship, maintaining her distance.
She could do that, couldn’t she?
But there was no great confidence behind her determination, and Mellie knew it.
The obedience class ended at eight that evening, and Delano thankfully waved goodbye to the last participant before heading to the car with Baldur heeling at his side.
The class had been a bit of a shambles. Along with the eight or so people his father had told him to expect, there’d been another five newcomers. Those five, like some of the clients at the clinic, seemed to be there strictly out of curiosity, since the dogs were completely uncontrollable and the handlers had no idea what they were doing.
At least he’d had the satisfaction of getting them started on the road to having well-trained dogs, if the novelty didn’t wear off before they got to that point.
Restless, and unwilling to go home right away, Delano decided to pick up some takeout and swing by the clinic to check on Rufus and keep him company for a while. The dog had shown signs of depression—not unusual after surgery and being away from home—and Delano had made a point to visit him as often as possible throughout the day. Just like with humans, an animal’s ability to heal, and do so quickly, very often was affected by their mood.
Driving along through the downtown area, he felt a wave of nostalgia at the small food shops and vendors lining the road. The fare on offer in Port Michael reflected the diversity of the St. Eustace population—doubles and stuffed roti jostled for space alongside “pan” chicken, roasted corn and slabs of salted fish. Other vendors offered soups and stews, such as pepper pot, and the children gravitated to the crushed ice covered with syrup, served in little plastic bags, or a variety of sweet baked goods.
No matter what you had a hankering for, you could find it, or something similar, along Garvey Road.
Everard and he used to spend most of the weekends and school holidays riding their bicycles all over Port Michael, and Delano remembered them heading here at the end of the day. By then, having visited the beach or the fishing village at the edge of the city, or whatever other mischief they’d gotten up to, they’d be starving. The vendors knew when they had money they’d spend it all on the street food, but when they were broke Everard, with his careless charm, would often get something for free.
Everard.
As was usually the case when his thoughts turned to his childhood best friend, his first instinct was to push all memories aside. It was what he’d done for over twenty years, since just thinking his name once more brought that agonizing rush of shame, guilt and loss. That had worked in Trinidad, but suddenly felt impossible here.
Around every corner there was something to remind him of Everard.
And Mum.
No.
He wasn’t going down that road. Not tonight. Not any other night if he had his way.
Their deaths were far, far in the past, and he refused to allow them to drag him back down into the dark place he’d lived in for years after they’d happened.
Stopping the car next to a chicken stand, he ordered a meal, and determinedly engaged the vendor in chatter while he waited. As he took the foil package from the vendor and thanked him, he saw Baldur’s nose go up in the air.
“Oh, no, my friend,” Delano told the dog. “You already had your dinner earlier. This is all mine.”
Not that Baldur would expect to get any, since Delano didn’t allow his animals to eat human food. But the dog was a master of the begging eyes and seemed to always live in hope that his doleful expression would finally bear fruit.
As he drove toward the clinic, Delano mused on his conversations with Mellie earlier in the day, and then again that evening.
He hoped he’d made it plain to her that she had nothing to fear from him, when it came to her place at the clinic. That he had no intention of staying and usurping her position.
It wasn’t hard to understand why she worried. Dad had made oblique references to retirement, as though he was sounding Delano out, while Aunt Eddie had been far more direct.
“Your father would be so happy to see his life’s work continue on,” she’d said. “Especially if you were a part of that.”
“The clinic is in good hands with Mellie,” he’d retorted. “And Dad hasn’t said he’s ready to retire just yet.”
He’d been hoping she wouldn’t pursue the conversation but, of course, Aunt Eddie wouldn’t be deterred until she’d had her full say.
“He might not have said it outright, but he is. And Mellie is completely competent,” she agreed readily. “But there’s work enough for two.”
It made him feel hemmed in and put on the spot. All he wanted was to get back to Port of Spain and away from the barrage of memories.
At least, that’s what he had to keep telling himself.
There was something about Mellie that often made him forget that St. Eustace wasn’t somewhere he wanted to be.
The thread of attraction he felt toward her, which no matter how hard he tried wouldn’t be ignored, overshadowed all else. Even when she was coolly sassing him or giving him the side-eye, he was totally aware of her as a woman...her movements, scent, expressions.
More than once he’d found himself fixated on her lips, the urge to test their softness with his, to taste them, almost overwhelming. Like this evening, when it had felt like an electric current was flowing through the air around them, and it had taken every ounce of willpower he had not to get up and take her into his arms.
Kiss her senseless. Or until he, himself, was senseless, and all his pain, sorrow and guilt fell away.
Yet, he knew himself well. Well enough to admit there was a permanent emotional barrier between him and other people. One he’d carefully built up over the years, and no longer thought could be breached. He’d tried honestly during his marriage to let his wife into his heart, but Stella had known he wasn’t all in. She’d said as much, during the trainwreck days as it fell completely apart.
You don’t have the capacity to love, Delano. Her words had cut through him, even as he’d had to acknowledge their truth. You have no heart. You don’t care about anyone.
Realistically, her indictment had made him feel horrible and less than he should be, but he made no effort to change.
Getting too close to others opened yourself up to devastation, and he’d had more than enough of that in his life as it was. Yet, his father’s health scare forced him to admit he wasn’t fully immune to connections of the heart. It had scared him into realizing how much his father meant to him, even if Milo didn’t feel quite the same way.
Turning into the clinic, he was surprised to see lights on in the hospital area, and Mellie’s car parked out back. Immediately his heart started pounding in anticipation, and he almost drove back out of the parking lot. Still, although he hesitated for a long moment before turning off the ignition, he knew he would be going inside anyway.