Chapter 7

Perfect Breathing

There is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. Then there’s another way; a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity.

Rumi

Perfect breathing is the powerful marriage of breath awareness and conscious breathing. The most difficult aspect of conscious breathing is the “conscious” part. Breath awareness informs and advises us so that we can consciously and intentionally shape our life and experience. Without breath awareness, our breathing is “unconscious” and the opportunities to direct the power of our breath and intention are never presented to us.

The previous four chapters in this section have exposed the intimate interplay between our breath and the four dimensions of our existence—the body, mind, emotions, and spirit. We’ve shown that by developing breath awareness, you can enter into a new level of clarity and control over each facet of your life. Breath awareness is the first and most important step toward Perfect Breathing.

Each day that you remember to utilize this innate power you will receive its benefits and slowly but surely supplant the habits that have taken hold over the years. If you are like us (and most other people we know), you don’t have the time to take on another demanding, time-consuming practice that requires additional commitments or sacrifice. The good news is that the habit of unconscious breathing readily gives way to the immediately pleasing, calming, and beneficial effects of deep, slow, conscious inspiration. Your body quickly remembers how—and just how good it feels. By following the simple program detailed below, the seed of this dormant memory will germinate and begin to grow—steadily replacing the old habits.

The program that is described in the following pages is designed to streamline the process that leads to your perfect breath—the breath you need in any given situation, the breath that calms you when you are anxious, the breath that takes you to the crest of the hill, the breath that connects you to that one priceless moment—the breath you are taking right now. It is estimated that on average we use only 30 percent of our respiratory capacity. There is so much more potential. By taking just a few minutes each day to create the habit of breath awareness, you will find that you consciously draw from this always available reservoir with more and more frequency and that in short order this newfound power will be your constant companion and second nature.

This practice is designed to help you rediscover this intensely personal power and find how it fits into your life, to find how it informs your intuition and changes everything that you do. Although it requires an insignificant amount of time—just a few minutes a day—it does require intention, commitment, and, most of all, patience. All of the benefits that we have presented thus far and in the remaining chapters can be yours. They are within reach of anyone reading this book, but they do not (in most cases) strike like lightning. It is more like a savings account than a sudden lottery win. It may not seem like much in the beginning, but over time, with consistent, persistent attention, it will become a personal fortune.

The path to your perfect breath consists of the following:

In the following pages we will guide you through each of these steps.

Foundation Breathing

The first order of business on our path to Perfect Breathing is to reacquaint ourselves with the way we were breathing when we came into this world. Relearning this technique and making it a habit is the foundation of nearly every other conscious breathing technique, and so the first breathing technique we will practice is appropriately called Foundation Breathing.

Replace the habit of taking short shallow breaths into the top of the lungs with the practice of taking a full deep breath. Nearly all of the benefits begin with this one simple change.

People often ask why they need to change the way they are breathing. It’s true that the body monitors oxygen levels and keeps them within the safe operating limits, and the amazing computer in our brain knows how to regulate our breathing in most every situation. So why change a winning game plan? The reason is that our breathing changes over time, and as we previously mentioned, we generally only use about a third of our lung capacity. Watch the way a baby breathes—it looks like there is a balloon in their stomach that inflates and deflates as they inhale and exhale, while their chest barely moves at all. Contrast this with the way most adults breathe: Their stomachs don’t move at all and they tend to take small sips of air into the tops of their lungs, shoulders rising with each breath. Like our posture, which can become stooped and crooked if we don’t consciously make an effort to sit and stand straight, our breathing can become shallow and cramped unless we make a conscious effort to counteract the forces that would restrict it.

There are a number of reasons for why our breathing changes over time. First, there are very few people in our society who are trying to get their stomach to stick out more. We tend to hold our stomach in, for vanity’s sake, which binds up our abdomen. Additionally, our lifestyles are such that the hours behind a desk, hunched over a computer, sitting behind the steering wheel, or on the couch watching television turn us into “professional sitters,” which restricts our breathing even further. Over the decades our breathing takes the path of least resistance, becomes more and more shallow and moves higher and higher into our chest.

This is undesirable for a number of reasons, but mainly because there is six to ten times more blood flow in the lower lobes of your lungs than in the upper lobes. When you take slower, deeper breaths, your breathing is more efficient, i.e., more oxygen is delivered to your bloodstream with each inhale and your body is able to rid itself of more waste and toxins with each exhale.

One word of caution here: Never strain yourself while doing these exercises. Breathing techniques should feel easy and comfortable. Back off if you feel dizzy or uncomfortable.

Exercise: Warm-up

If you are new to intentional breathing practice, start with this warm-up exercise for at least the first few sessions. Once you are comfortable with this warm-up technique, you can use it or skip it as you desire.

Always strive to inhale through your nose as it is specifically designed to filter, condition, and moisten your breath before it reaches your lungs. For this exercise, exhale through your mouth (although in general you can exhale through your nose or mouth, whichever is more comfortable for you).

  1. Sit comfortably with your back straight and place your hands on your sides just above your hip bones.
  2. Inhale deeply, but just into your abdomen. Your hands should feel your abdomen expand and then contract as you exhale.
  3. Repeat 2 or 3 times, focusing your breath only into your lower abdomen.
  4. Move your hands up to the middle of your ribs.
  5. Inhale and try to isolate your breathing to the middle of your chest.
  6. You should feel your ribs and intercostal muscles expand and then contract as you exhale.
  7. Repeat 2 or 3 times, focusing your breath just into your rib area.
  8. Move your hands up just below your collar bone (you can cross them if it is more comfortable.
  9. This time inhale and try to isolate your breathing to the top of your chest.
  10. You should feel your upper chest and shoulders expand and then contract as you exhale.
  11. Repeat 2 or 3 times, focusing your breath just into the top of your chest.

These are the components of a full, complete foundation breath. Always fill your lungs from the bottom to the top, like you are filling a glass of water. When you exhale, gently push the air out in the same order, from the bottom to the top. If you find that you are experiencing any discomfort or dizziness, stop and wait a few minutes before continuing. You should never feel like you are straining or putting forth much effort to execute these techniques.

Exercise: Foundation Breath

The purpose of this exercise is to reacquaint your body with full, natural breathing. This simple technique, practiced regularly, will slowly become the norm, changing only in response to stress, tension, and emotions. When your breathing does change you will be immediately aware, and you’ll be able to consciously and objectively deal with the situation, completely aware and present.

  1. Sit comfortably with your back straight, eyes closed, and hands in your lap.
  2. Begin with an exhale, then inhale deeply, hold it for a second or two, and exhale first with a short burst (like you were blowing out a candle), and then with a long slow finish as you completely relax your mind and body and empty your lungs. Repeat 3 times or as needed to calm your mind and relax your body.
  3. Inhale deeply, all the way to the bottom of your spine progressively filling your lungs, bottom, middle, and top.
  4. Hold for a moment.
  5. Exhale slowly, gently emptying your lungs from the bottom to the top, gently squeezing out all of the air.
  6. Hold for a moment and then repeat moves 3 to 6 for 5 minutes.

Repeat this exercise as desired.

Exercise: Six-Second Breath

Normally we breathe fifteen to twenty times per minute—faster or slower as dictated by stress and emotions such as anger, grief, and frustration. However, recent research has shown that a rate of ten breaths per minute is most beneficial to our health. Try to aim for a six-second breath cycle (ten breaths per minute) as follows:

In times of intense and overwhelming emotion, focusing on the actual count can be very beneficial and help to momentarily draw your mind away from the issue at hand—long enough for you to regain some objectivity and let your emotions cool.

This exercise, as simple and innocuous as it seems, is the most important exercise to master. Once you have developed the habit of slow deep breathing, and your body remembers that this is the natural way to breathe, it will slowly become a part of everything that you do. It will become your “secret weapon” when you need an extra burst of energy, it will become your rock when you are feeling emotionally shattered, and it will become a peaceful, quiet refuge at times when you need a sanctuary.

Once this habit has taken hold and you have experienced the power of breath awareness and conscious breathing, you will begin to notice the changes in your breath that accompany stress, distress, tensions, anxiety, and intense pressure or concentration. That usually signals that it is time to take control of your breath and thus your mind and body.

Exercise: Developing Breath Awareness

The end purpose of this exercise is to help you quickly develop the habit of breath awareness. Your perfect breath is a full deep breath taken with intention and presence. Unfortunately, our breathing habits become deeply rooted over the years. Those deeply ingrained patterns don’t change over night, but by following the three steps below, you will quickly swap out your old habit of short, shallow, unconscious breathing for the habit of slower, deeper breathing that you can use consciously with intention to take more control over your health, performance, and emotions.

Developing breath awareness can be easily accomplished by performing the following steps every day for one month. After that, the seed will be planted and will continue to grow as you remember more and more often to check in with your breath and take full advantage of its benefits. The more you use it, the more comfortable you become using it in every situation; and with each conscious breath, the habit becomes more deeply ingrained and further reinforced.

Step 1—Practice Makes Perfect

Spending a few minutes each day practicing slow deep breathing will remind your body that this is the natural pattern, and that short, shallow, or held breath is not.

To reestablish your natural pattern, practice the Foundation Breathing exercise five minutes every day. Find a time that you can commit to, whether it is first thing in the morning, before lunch, or before you go to bed. Find a time that works and make it part of your routine. You will find that it is a very pleasant, relaxing practice, which is a great way to start the day, as well as an excellent way to put the day behind you before you sleep. You can practice this technique as often as you like, but make sure that you find time that you can commit to. Without a regular committed time, you are more likely to have your practice get pushed aside and eventually fall off completely. Everyone has five minutes that they can devote to improving the quality of their life

Note: You can practice this technique in any position, but in general, standing won’t allow you to relax or be as comfortable. Lying down allows to you completely relax your muscles, but if you are tired, you run the risk of falling asleep!

As you practice, you may often find that your mind wanders, and some days it may be downright uncooperative. Don’t concern yourself or be discouraged. Just acknowledge your thoughts, make no judgments, release them, and bring your attention back to your breath.

Step 2—Observing Your Breath

The second step is to develop the habit of observing your breath so that you will eventually notice when your breathing changes. This is especially important because most of the time our breathing becomes shallow or stops completely when we need it the most. Developing the habit of noticing changes in your breathing can be a powerful tool for eliminating stress before it can settle into your body, for dealing with difficult emotions and improving performance.

The trick is to find a way to remind yourself as many times a day as you can to:

This simple exercise takes less than twenty seconds and trains your mind to unconsciously monitor your breathing and grab your attention when changes occur. Finding an effective reminder is critical to developing the habit of slower deeper breathing and overall breath awareness.

It won’t take long before this unconscious monitoring of the breath becomes an ingrained habit and you will no longer need the aid of your reminders; but until then, we have listed several types of reminders that may work for you. Be creative. Try several things (you can use more than one at the same time). You may also need to change your reminder from time to time, as familiarity decreases their effectiveness.

Sample Reminders

You get the idea. Find what works for you and please let us know if you find a novel way to remind yourself that may be useful to others.

Step 3—Building New Habits

Many experts say that it takes twenty-one days to build or break a habit. Since this is so important we are going to be extra careful and allow thirty days, but there are four things to keep in mind about building new habits:

First, you must set a positive goal for yourself; one that involves benefits that you desire. Saying “I want to quit smoking” keeps you focused on smoking. It is better to say “I want to improve my health.” In our case, make your goal a benefit of conscious breathing.

Second, constantly revisiting both the habit that you want to build and the benefits you seek is crucial. The more often you can refresh the goal in your mind and thus your subconscious, the more effectively your goal will become a magnet that draws you in.

Third, use existing habits. The easiest way to establish a new habit is to tie it to an existing one. For example, whenever you check the time, use it as a reminder to take a few deep breaths and visualize your goals.

Fourth, don’t be discouraged if your practice falls off, or if you stop for a period of time. Each time renew your commitment to your goals. Remember why your goals are so important to you and begin again. It will come. You just need patience and persistence.

Step 4—Progress Tracking

We have found that your chances of success for developing the habit of slow deep breathing and breath awareness are much improved if you track your progress for one month. This causes you to keep this practice and your goals in your mind and speeds up the habit-building process.

Keep a record for one month and record the following information each day:

  1. If you practiced deep breathing, how many times and for how long?
  2. Roughly how many times were you able to remind yourself to stop and notice your breath?
  3. Were there any instances when you became aware of your breath during stressful situations, or when you noticed during stressful situations the beneficial effects on your health, on physical or mental performance, or on mood or emotions?
  4. Were there any instances when you could have used your breathing but did not (such as during an angry exchange or a tense moment in traffic)?

Step 5—Don’t Give Up!

Breath awareness and conscious breathing techniques have immediate benefits (be sure to read chapter 8), but they won’t completely transform you overnight. The changes come slowly but surely. Try to be consistent, but if you miss a period of time, come back to it, keep at it, and in no time you will find it becoming more and more natural and beneficial. Don’t become discouraged if you are not attending to it as you had hoped or planned, and don’t be judgmental. If you keep after it with persistence, the changes will come.

Conscious Breathing—Completing the Cycle

If you follow the prescriptions in this chapter, you will develop two infinitely powerful tools that will set you apart from most everyone else in the world—proper efficient breathing and breath awareness. Now there is just one step left that stands between you and Perfect Breathing: putting it to use through conscious, intentional breathing. The rest of the book, beginning with part three, will show you how you can begin to use these newfound powers to dramatically improve your health and ability to heal, to find new levels of physical, mental, and creative performance, to take control of your emotions, and deepen your spiritual experience.

Conscious breathing completes the Perfect Breathing cycle. Your breath awareness will help you to remember to apply your breath more and more often to the health, performance, emotional, and spiritual challenges that face you, and as that happens, you will become more and more aware of your breath, which will result in more conscious use of your breath.

As we mentioned earlier, the changes to your mind, body, spirit, and health are not instantaneous, but they are real and tangible. The next chapter will give you an idea as to the changes you can expect, but you now have all of the information, all of the techniques, everything you need to make your next breath a perfect breath.