The Energy of Emotions
In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
—Albert Camus
Emotions are oftentimes not a private experience and they have tremendous power to affect those around us. Like our own local weather system, visitors to our little corner of the world can feel our infectious joy shining on them like the sun just as they can feel the gray and cold rain of our depression. They can be a powerful magnet that both draws people to us and drives them away.
Most of us at one time or another have met people whose personalities and emotions filled the room. When they are happy and laughing it radiates outward and infects everyone. By the same token, if they are angry or depressed, it is like a cloud over everyone’s head. Not everyone has this much force of personality, but our emotions are always projected outward whether we realize it or not.
We may not always be able to or be inclined to control our emotions, but recognizing the power that they have over those around us can impact our personal relationships, our families, and our coworkers. It is not something that we think about often, but learning how to manage our emotions is a key factor in our success and achievement in life.
Emotional Intelligence
In recent years there has been a lot of activity in the area of emotional intelligence or EQ. Popularized in the mid-1990s, its proponents maintain that EQ is a better gauge of success potential than IQ tests or academic performance. EQ measures an individual’s capabilities in five areas:
There is a fair amount of controversy over the scientific measurement of emotional competency and the ability to determine its relationship to the future success and well-being of any given individual, but there is no question about the role of emotions as a fundamental force of the human personality. And although there are many factors that determine success, emotional intelligence is among the most important. Why? Individuals who understand their emotions can manage them, and those who can understand the emotions of others and take them into consideration are much better equipped to thrive in environments where interpersonal skills such as teamwork, negotiation, persuasion, and diplomacy are critical for success.
Breathe to Lead
Having a high EQ can be a tremendous advantage when we find ourselves in situations, whether social or professional, where our emotions can play an important role in our personal success or failure, as well as the fortunes of those we depend on and who depend on us. Like it or not, our emotions rub off on our family, friends, and coworkers. Although our perception of others emotions often takes place at the unconscious level, it takes place all the same. Since we are often relating on several levels at once—physical, verbal, written, and emotional—we do not always consciously evaluate the way the emotions of others affect us, in the way we relate and the decisions we make. Think back to a time when you met someone and without any other information, decided that you had a good feeling or instantly disliked him. Our emotions are constantly feeding us information about the world around us that translates to “feeling.”
Animals are perhaps even more perceptive of our emotions. There is truth in the old adage that animals can “smell fear.” Horse training expert Dr. Ron Meredith cautions students to use their breathing to calm and control their emotions when working with a new horse. In a recent article he advises, “You start by paying attention to your breathing so that you develop a rhythm before you even get near the horse.” Throughout the process Meredith reminds his students to constantly check their breathing to make sure it is rhythmic and relaxed. If the student loses control of her emotions and holds their breath or breathes in an excited fashion she must leave the arena immediately until her breathing is back under control. It is a long process but Meredith states that, “Ultimately your breathing will give you the calmness you want whenever you walk up to a horse.”
Now you may be thinking, “What does this have to do with me?” We don’t work with horses (or at least the whole horse), but this is just as true for humans as it is for horses. The ability to control your emotions, especially anger, fear, and frustration can make a world of difference in a crisis or emergency when it is important to think clearly and act decisively. If you are in a position of leadership or part of a team, it can be the difference between success and failure.
In leadership positions especially, having a high EQ is especially important. After all, what is it that makes a good leader? Is it the smartest person? Not necessarily. Leaders often have the inherent ability to inspire and motivate those around them. They are usually emotionally stable, decisive, and have the ability to remain calm and clear-headed when under fire. When disaster strikes and the sky is falling, reacting with fear and panic will send that immediate signal to those around you. Being able to control your breath, and thus your emotions, can keep your rational mind from being drowned out by your emotions. A person who is able to keep his head and react calmly and decisively will telegraph this emotional message to everyone around him. This ability to set an emotional example for the people around you, and to think clearly and make sound decisions during a crisis, is a hallmark of great leadership and an invaluable skill.
A good friend who is the CEO of a high-tech start-up was telling us the story about a very important engineering project that involved one of the biggest software makers in the world, as well as one of the top entertainment companies, to deploy a brand-new entertainment system over the Internet. It was an ambitious project and important to each of the players. Several hours after the launch the system crashed and angry executives were calling, pointing fingers, and threatening to pull out. Although it was a gut-wrenching failure after months of hard work and planning, and everyone around him was demoralized, he was able to keep his wits and focus on the problems. By controlling his own frustration, fear, and disappointment, he was able to keep everyone focused on solving the problems rather than searching for a sacrificial lamb. His angry partners later said that it was his calm and steadfast demeanor and focus on finding solutions that calmed them and garnered the trust that convinced them to see it through. Asked how he was able to ride out the storm without giving in to his emotions, his answer was, simply, “Breathing.”
The Elusive Muse
Much like finding the Zone, the creative muse can be an elusive creature, making appearances when we least expect, and nowhere to be found when we need her the most. Would that we could start the creative juices flowing with a flick of a switch, but there are far too many variables that are out of our control. As we learned in the last chapter, we do have some control over finding that sweet spot, and this is another area where emotions and breathing play an essential role.
Dr. Adam Anderson, assistant professor of psychology at University of Toronto and senior author of a study on emotions and creativity published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, states that we are most creative when we are in a positive happy mood that allows us to “free our mind.” When test subjects were in high spirits they were much more effective at creative problem solving, more aware of their environment, and less easily distracted. At the same time volunteers who were in a bad or sad mood were better at tasks such as balancing checkbooks.
One of the world’s greatest composers, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, once wrote that he was most creative on long walks after a meal when he was feeling blissful and contented. At those moments he would “see” entire completed works of music in his head and felt it was nothing short of miraculous.
On the other hand, negative emotions dry up our creative juices. Fear, anger, and frustration activate a part of the brain that shuts down our creativity. Anderson recommends that when we lose our creativity and ability to solve problems, to take a break and engage in enjoyable activities that elevate our mood, and then come back to the problem.
Emotions such as fear and anxiety can completely derail our creativity and impede our ability for spontaneity. Many performers make the mistake of trying to fight against the nerves and adrenaline that are familiar friends to seasoned performers, focusing on their fears and the what-if scenarios. Eventually one learns that the energy our “nerves” and adrenaline bring are essential to a great performance, or as the saying goes, “The goal is not to get rid of the butterflies, but to make them fly in formation.”
Creating the mood and environment that summons our muse and teases out our creativity starts with our breath. As Hollywood voice and acting coach Steven Memel said, when we are focused on our breathing and not resisting it, we are much more alive, aware, and spontaneous. “But to achieve that you have to undergo an initial moment of letting go your grip, breathing, and discovering that there is safety in it. From that place comes the greatest strength, the greatest freedom, the greatest joy.”
Once we become more aware of our emotions, their impact on our creativity, decision making, and the people around us, we can become more adept at using them to our advantage. We can continue to develop our emotional intelligence, and the self-awareness that results from the practice of conscious breathing can be a powerful catalyst.
Emotions may present obstacles or challenges, but they can also help us to create, inspire, and lead. Our feelings which can seem unpredictable and uncontrollable can be one of our greatest sources of strength.