You know what I like, gazoonie? Sitting around before the carnival opens. You know what I mean? Just sitting around and being calm. Like we are right now. Especially when you’re an early-riser like myself. It’s quiet on the lot. No one else is around doing much of anything. Those feel like the best times. Almost as good as the quiet of being on the road during a jump, you know? When there is nothing to do but drive from one lot to the next.
One time, when me and Pops were on the road making a jump, we stopped at one of those little flea-trap motels he likes for me to pick out – somewhere way off the main roads. He and I watched this old film about a circus. I didn’t really like it very much. There was something about a high-wire act that went wrong and a clown who was really a doctor on the run from the law… and I hated the special effects, too. They were real cheesy. Especially where the train hit the car across its tracks. Mostly I hated that they tried to make out this clown to be some kind of hero or something.
But Charlie, I guess he liked it a whole bunch. He kept sitting there and laughing to himself through the whole thing. I suppose he was laughing about the clown or something, I don’t know… Everyone knows that clowns can’t be heroes.
You think I’m wrong? How many clowns have you met? I’m not talking about the fake ones who do children’s parties and that kind of nonsense. Most of them aren’t the real thing – they’re just forty-milers (if that) and townies who wish they were more than they are. No. All the real clowns I’ve ever met were some of the meanest, drunkest sons o’ bitches imaginable. Just as soon throw you off the train as share a car with you. Won’t let a debt go, but will happily welch on any money they owe. I, personally, am not a fan of them.
Pops, he has some funny ideas about clowns and circus folks. He’s always talking about our family’s history with the circus and the sideshow. He’s always telling me how we’re the descendants of some famous clown. Mostly, it just feels like he’s talking out his… I guess I just don’t get his obsession with the circus. Why would he want to be a part of that nonsense? I just think people at the circus look down on us carnies. Hardly any of them even put up a top any more! They’d rather set themselves up in an arena or some big building somewhere so they don’t have to worry about it. The ones who are worth anything still put up a top – and there are only about three of them in the world, if you don’t count that bunch of sissies from Canada, traipsing around in tights like a bunch of hoofers.
One time Charlie took me to see a small show – they were set up in the parking lot of an abandoned mall. They were the closest thing I’ve ever seen to a circus being with it. They had a single ring, lots of animals, high-wire acts and some dangerous stunts… and they dinged the rubes between every act! About halfway through, I went to get some popcorn at the concession stand – and I’ll tell you what – the girl who sold it to me had just been up in the rigging doing a trapeze act a few minutes before. That is what I am talking about! Someone who is with it, who works hard and understands the life we have.
Me? I like my life here with the carnival, running this show – well, helping Charlie manage it. I don’t know what he’d do without me at all. But bringing in you and this guy Frank, plus having Murphy and our performers, that’s going to make a difference, I think. I hope.
Murphy and me, we used to have lots of talks about the show and what kinds of things we could do. Especially back when Charlie was teaching me stunts and things to do for the shows he was planning – now, those were the days! Anyways, Murphy spent a lot of time talking to me and Charlie about what the old shows used to do – and let me tell you, gazoonie, they did some amazing things! Of course, back in the day, they used to do a lot more than we do now. I mean, Murphy was telling me some of the big shows had fifty people or more there to work the whole thing. There were canvas men whose only job was to make sure the top got up, and guys to work the lights and sound – and that’s before you even added the performers, stage managers and other stuff. Can you imagine?
Murphy told me that some of the shows, well they used to be reviews, off the big stages from London and New York, and that they’d package them up into something that could travel more easily. Sometimes I think about what it would have been like to be running a show back then. From what Murphy tells me, they would even supply you with everything you needed if you brought them a show: a top, banner line, all the lights and sound – everything! You’d just bring the performers and acts, maybe some of the crew and such – and they’d pay you out proper and you could take whatever you could get from the inside. No one made you account for any of it. That’s what I dream about sometimes. How I’d bring in Delilah to help me out, and I’d get me my own show – and Charlie could go off and do whatever he wants.
No. No, I haven’t really talked to her since we got here. OK – I haven’t talked to her at all. But, sure she’s my girl! I told you, didn’t I? She just has some other things on her mind is all. What with her momma passing away during the off-season… and I don’t think her family’s show is doing that well either. Now, you didn’t hear it from me, but some of the other carnies have been telling me to stay away from her – just to leave her alone. I imagine it’s that, with her momma’s passing and their show having problems, they figure that I’m just hassling her or something. Doesn’t surprise me, none, I’ll tell you that. In a way it pleases me. See, we look out for each other on the lot.
A single-o is a show that just has one attraction. One thing that you’re paying to see, and it’s usually something pretty stationary. You’re not seeing a show like that with us. There’s no bally out front or anything, except maybe a grind tape that lures you up to the monkey box to pay your money to get in. Then you walk in, take a look at it, and walk back out. Pretty simple, huh? Thing is, for a single-o to really make money and attract a crowd, it has to be something live. You can’t use bouncers or gaffs (I’ll tell you a bit more about them in a minute) – not even pickled punks, because that stuff won’t keep a mark’s attention. Pickled punks are what we call deformed babies in jars – they used to be pretty common until the do-gooders made it too tough to put them on display. After laws about displaying real babies went into effect in lots of places, most of the showmen started making babies out of plaster and rubber (which is why they’re called bouncers) and using those, instead. Thing is gaffs like that often look better than the real thing! Gaffs are anything fake – but for most showmen that means they faked something using taxidermy, or sometimes a bigger trick. No, for a single-o, it has to be something alive, like a live ‘mermaid’ in a pool or headless woman trick. Sure, those might still be a gaff in a way – but they’re more of an illusion – and you have to have someone alive there to really make it work under the top. It’s that or, even better, a real mutant animal like Delilah’s family’s show. They have a six-legged cow!
Yeah, yeah – I know. But it’s true! I’ve seen her (the cow, I mean). She’s real, all right, but dumb. I suppose all cows are dumb – but this one is really stupid. It’s a great show, though. It really brings the crowds in, especially in the cities (I guess the farmers feel they see enough of that kind of thing), but… it’s a cow. It has to be taken care of. It needs food and water and to be walked. You have to clean up after animals. That’s why Charlie won’t have anything to do with any kind of live animal show. Can’t say I blame him – I don’t want to clean up after animals either.
That and the fact that every time some do-gooder gets it in their head the carnies are abusing their animals, seems like everyone comes running in to try to shut the whole show down. If only they knew – these animals get treated better than most of the people working here!
Anyway, I tried to get a few moments alone with Delilah before the last jump, but it didn’t happen. Then I keep wandering by her joint to get her attention, but she hasn’t seen me yet. Probably because her dad’s been keeping an eye on everything she’s been up to lately. Don’t know why. Maybe he thinks she’s not doing her job and that’s why the numbers are low for their show. Maybe if he worked the ticket box a bit more and didn’t spend so much time worrying about what she’s doing, it would be OK.
Delilah’s family has had a show on this circuit for a couple of seasons. What I’m telling you is, this ain’t no seasonal fling, son! Why, Delilah and I used to be pretty tight before her dad put her to work on their show this time around. Guess he didn’t feel she was really old enough for the responsibility of taking the money before. Now, I’ve noticed that their show has gotten a few more chumps hanging around it since she came to sit in the chair. Her momma used to, you know… sit in the chair and take tickets, I mean, but she passed on sometime between the end of last season and the beginning of this one. I guess that’s the other reason her dad is keeping her close at hand, too.
I don’t know what they do in the off-season – and I’m not sure what happened to her momma, either. I guess I keep hoping she’ll tell me about it.
After a bit, I’ll shove on over there and see if I can’t get her attention. Before I do that, though, I need to do my walk-through of the top and make sure everything is OK. Not that I think anything is wrong, mind you, I’m sure everyone did exactly what they were supposed to do. But, when someone new, like Frank, is on the payroll, I like to keep a close eye on what he’s doing. Especially after Sam’s accident.
But he sure seems to know his stuff, does Frank. He didn’t waste any time getting the top up and the banner line going. It’s almost like he’s done it before – like he’s ‘with it’, you know? I guess it doesn’t matter because the bigger thing is that as soon as Frank was on deck, Charlie was nowhere to be found.
Sure, I heard some grumbling from some of the others, especially Murphy – but I’m not too worried about it. Honestly, I’m more worried about trying to get some time with Delilah. So, if this guy Frank can help to make sure things get done the way they are supposed to pretty quickly – and I can get some time with my girl – that’s what I’m going to do.