CHAPTER 18

The lights in Helen’s office were still burning brightly, much to Karen’s relief. The outer door was locked but opened quickly at her knock. Helen smiled when she saw her.

“This is an unexpected pleasure. What brings you by? Have you and Elliott made a decision about the adoption so quickly?”

Karen just stared at her. “Adoption?”

“That is why you’re here, isn’t it? I told him to work it out with you and I’d handle the paperwork. We shouldn’t hit any snags, not since Ray gave up his parental rights in the divorce settlement.”

“You’ve talked to Elliott about adopting Daisy and Mack?” Karen said, feeling as if she’d just taken another major hit below the belt.

“He was here earlier,” Helen said, looking confused. “That’s not why you’re here?”

“No, that’s apparently just one more thing my husband failed to mention,” she said, sighing heavily. “I’ll add it to the list.”

Helen looked chagrined. “I am so sorry. I just assumed. Dumb me, I should know better than to make assumptions. It’s just that the timing seemed to be more than coincidental. You did know Elliott wants to adopt Daisy and Mack, right?”

Karen nodded. “That much I knew. In fact, earlier this evening I was leaning in that direction. Now…” She shrugged. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Helen said sympathetically. She led the way into her office and gestured toward a chair. “Sit down and tell me what’s going on. Can I get you something to drink? I’ve dumped the coffee, but I could make another pot. Or I have sodas in the fridge.”

“Nothing, thanks.” Karen took a deep breath, then spilled out her shock at discovering the amount of the loan Elliott had taken out to start the gym. “That’s over and above what he’d already taken out of our savings.”

“The baby fund,” Helen said.

Karen regarded her with surprise. “He told you that?”

She nodded. “He recognized how much faith it took for you to let him use that money.”

“I’m not sure faith had anything to do with it. I just saw how much this gym meant to him, so I gave in, even though it went against every instinct I had.”

“I’ve told you before that I don’t think there’s a real risk here, right?”

Karen nodded. “I guess that’s why I came to you. You understand the circumstances and you have a better sense for this business venture than I do. You really believe they’re going to make it, that Elliott’s not throwing our financial future down the drain?” She gave Helen a frustrated look. “I know I’ve asked you this repeatedly, but it seems I keep needing to hear you say it.”

Helen smiled. “I understand, and, yes, I really believe in this venture of theirs. I know how hard this is for you, Karen, but at some point you have to learn to trust your husband. He’s not a selfish bastard like Ray. It’s not about his ego. He wants to build a good future for your whole family—you, Daisy, Mack and whatever children might come along. Do you believe that much?”

Karen thought about it, then nodded slowly. “Intellectually, yes. It’s just so scary to look at a piece of paper and see that dollar amount right there in black and white when I know what it represents in terms of scrimping and saving.”

“Okay, let’s say Elliott had decided against moving forward with this because of your anxiety. How do you see your future unfolding then?”

“We’d have gotten by,” Karen said at once.

“And getting by would be enough for you?”

She saw the point Helen was trying to make. “Most people want more for their families, don’t they? So the bottom line is that I might feel insecure now, but in the end, we’ll have much more security,” she admitted. “The potential benefit outweighs the risk.”

Helen nodded. “That’s how I see it. Life doesn’t come without risks. You know that. If you’re entirely happy with the status quo, then there’s no reason to rock the boat. But if a little rocking will make things much better in the long run, then you have to be willing to take the occasional chance. See what I mean?”

“Then I shouldn’t let my fear get the better of me,” Karen concluded.

“It’s always wise to be aware of your comfort zone,” Helen corrected. “But it’s equally smart to step out of it from time to time. You have to weigh those potential benefits realistically against the risks. I think this is one of those times when the potential wins out. Give Elliott the chance to prove himself. He’s never let you down yet, has he?”

“No,” Karen agreed. She even managed a weak smile.

“Here’s one more bit of reassurance, if it helps. I do know you and your circumstances. And I do understand this particular type of business venture. If I’d thought for a single second that the men were in over their heads, I’d have stepped in. You know me, I can’t keep an opinion to myself to save my soul. I’d have done everything I could to save them from themselves.”

Karen actually chuckled at the truth of that. “I knew there was a reason I came over here. You’ve always been able to steady me.”

“Glad to help anytime,” Helen said. “Want to talk some about the adoption before you go?”

Karen shook her head. She might feel reassured about the business, but all the secret doubts she harbored about her marriage had risen to the surface once more. She wasn’t quite ready to go home and forgive and forget, much less take the huge leap of faith that the adoption would require. That would take a little longer.

* * *

Frances clutched the prescription she’d been given so tightly it was doubtful the pharmacist would be able to read it once she eventually turned it in to be filled.

“Are you okay?” Liz asked worriedly as they drove from Columbia back to Serenity.

“Not according to the doctor,” Frances said in a halfhearted attempt at humor.

She’d been through a battery of tests recently, many of them simply to rule out things like a brain tumor or adverse interactions from the medicines she was taking. She’d undergone an MRI, all sorts of verbal testing and several memory tests, including a few more today. Though the results weren’t in yet, all the evidence seemed to point to an early stage of Alzheimer’s. At least that’s what she’d heard in the mumbo jumbo from the doctor who’d had the bedside manner and clarity of a physicist who never left his think tank for human interaction.

“We still don’t know anything,” Flo consoled her. “If it is Alzheimer’s, it’s the very earliest stage. He said that.”

“Did he really?” Frances asked wryly. “How could you tell with all that Latin being spouted as if I should understand what he was saying? He got impatient every time I tried to clarify something.”

Liz chuckled. “He wasn’t exactly a charmer, was he? But he did seem to know his stuff, and he said there’s no reason to panic.”

“Not yet,” Frances said, her tone still dire.

“Stop it,” Flo ordered. “The way I understood him, you’re more likely to die of a heart attack than you are to reach the final stages of Alzheimer’s, if that’s even what you’re dealing with. What was that other thing he mentioned, Liz?”

“Mild cognitive impairment,” Liz said, referring to the notes she’d dutifully taken for precisely this reason. Frances had sat there in a haze throughout the appointment. “He definitely said it could be that.”

“And it’s not as bad as Alzheimer’s,” Flo said triumphantly.

Frances gave her a skeptical look. “Did you miss the part about it eventually evolving into Alzheimer’s?” She’d locked onto that because it was the diagnosis she’d anticipated, despite her very best attempts to go into this with a positive attitude.

“You’re almost ninety,” Flo retorted. “It’ll have to evolve pretty darn fast to be an issue.”

Even Frances managed a chuckle at her wry sense of humor. “Then for the moment, I’ll take some comfort from that,” she said just as wryly.

“Well, I recommend we go to Wharton’s for hot fudge sundaes,” Liz said. “That always cheers me up.” She gave Frances a chiding look. “We are not going to let you wallow in despair over this, especially before we have a final diagnosis. I choose to believe the doctor, that it’s entirely likely that you’ll have lots of wonderful experiences ahead of you.”

“But will I remember any of them?” Frances quipped.

Flo chuckled, but Liz didn’t.

“Stop that this instant!” Liz commanded. “I know making jokes is a defense mechanism, but the reality is, you’re probably in better health than most of the people we know. If this cognitive-impairment thing or Alzheimer’s does start to progress, we’ll just deal with that when it happens.”

“Better listen to her, Frances,” Flo said. “You know how Liz is when things don’t go her way. She turned this town on its ear years ago when she insisted that Grace’s mother-in-law serve her maid at the counter in Wharton’s. She’s not too old to stir up another ruckus if you don’t get with the program. Don’t start acting feeble when anyone can see that you’re not.”

Frances looked from one friend to the other, then shook her head. “Thank God for the two of you,” she said sincerely. “There’s not a chance I’ll give up with the pair of you as cheerleaders.”

“We could get outfits,” Flo offered. “Maybe pom-poms. I think I’d look quite fetching in one of those short skirts, waving a set of pom-poms.”

“You don’t need to go that far. I’ve gotten the message,” Frances told her, though she had to admit the image of Flo and Liz in short little pleated shirts and tight Serenity High School sweaters, shaking pom-poms around, did make her smile.

“Good for you,” Liz enthused, then paused before prodding, “Well? How about that hot fudge sundae?”

Frances grinned, her mood already improving. “That would be good, but you know what would be even better?”

“What?” Liz asked eagerly.

“One of those margarita nights that those girls—Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and the rest of them—are always talking about,” Frances suggested.

Flo’s eyes lit up. “Whoo-ee! Count me in. I believe I’ll call my daughter and tell her to watch out. The Sweet Magnolias will soon have nothing on the Senior Magnolias!”

“Do either of you know how to make a decent margarita?” Liz inquired, looking a little skeptical.

“Of course,” Flo retorted. “Where do you think Helen got her lethal recipe?”

“Okay, then. Margaritas, it is,” Liz said. “And we’d better have them at my place. Travis and Sarah are right next door, in case things get out of hand. They can drive the two of you home.”

“And then talk about it on the radio tomorrow morning on that show of theirs,” Frances said, giggling at the potential outrageousness of it. She’d spent every one of her nearly ninety years being thoroughly respectable. It was about darn time she kicked up her heels.

* * *

Elliott sat at the kitchen table after feeding the kids, jotting down numbers to show to Karen when she eventually returned home. Maybe if she saw the real figures, based on gym memberships and his increased number of private clients, she’d be able to relax. Even using the preliminary numbers before the real push began, he thought the addition to his income was impressive. Surely it would be enough to allay her panic.

He was still at it, when Mack wandered into the kitchen in his PJs, his expression hopeful.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Elliott asked.

Mack climbed into his lap, something he rarely did anymore, and snuggled close. “Did Mom talk to you?” he asked.

Now, there was a minefield. Karen had talked, but not about anything he cared to share with a seven-year-old.

“About what?” he inquired carefully.

“’Dopting me and Daisy,” Mack said, catching him off guard.

“No. Was she supposed to?” Elliott asked him.

“Uh-huh. I told her me and Daisy wanted you to be our real, forever dad. She said she’d talk to you about it tonight. She promised.”

A huge weight seemed to lift off Elliott’s shoulders. If the kids had independently gone to Karen to request this, he knew she’d never deny them.

“Well, something came up when I first got home, so it may have slipped her mind. We’ll talk about it as soon as she gets back.”

Mack sat up and looked him in the eye. “Would it be okay with you?”

Elliott smiled and hugged him tightly. “It would be great with me!” He knew better than to make promises, though. “It’s a big deal, though, so your mom and I need to have a long talk about it. Can you be patient?”

Mack shook his head, all but bouncing with excitement. “I’m no good at patient.”

Elliott laughed. “Me, either, buddy. Me, either.”

* * *

Karen arrived home to find the kids in bed and Elliott waiting for her in the kitchen.

“I kept dinner warm for you, if you’re hungry,” he said. “Or if warmed-up pasta offends your culinary instincts, I can make you something else.”

She tried to muster a smile for him, but she wasn’t quite able to hide the hurt she was still feeling.

“I’m not hungry,” she said.

“Can we talk?” he asked, a plea behind the words. He held up a lined pad of paper. “I’ve made some notes. I think the figures will reassure you.”

Though she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and let sleep take her away from this conversation, she knew that the real work of marriage couldn’t be put off. If Elliott was ready to talk, she needed to listen.

“Let me get something to drink first,” she said.

“No, sit. I’ll get it. What would you like?”

It touched her that he was trying so hard. For a man not used to apologizing for his actions, he was doing everything he could to show her he was sorry for the way he’d handled this.

“Any caffeine-free diet soda in the refrigerator?”

Elliott looked inside, nodded and grabbed two, another sign of just how nervous he was. He never drank sodas, caffeine-free or not. He popped the tops and poured the drinks over ice.

She forced herself to meet his worried gaze. “For what it’s worth, I’m not furious anymore.”

His lips curved slightly at that. “Good to know. You probably have a right to be.”

“In some ways, I couldn’t agree with you more. In others, I know I overreacted. Once again, I let the past dictate how I handled seeing those papers. You’re not Ray. Our marriage is nothing like the one I had with him.”

“But you’re still a survivor of that experience,” Elliott said. “I need to remember that and let it guide how I handle things. I’m just not used to answering to someone else, I guess.”

“It’s the family way,” she said, actually injecting a hint of amusement into her voice, though there was nothing particularly amusing about the situation. “You are your father’s son, after all.”

Elliott immediately took offense. “You know better.”

She shook her head. “I love you, but the evidence proves otherwise. You act in a vacuum. I know you do it for all the right reasons, because you love us and want an amazing future for us, but we’re a couple. And I, maybe even more than most wives and certainly more than your mother or sisters, need to be a part of the decisions that get made. I can’t make myself any clearer than that. It’s a deal breaker for me, Elliott.”

He looked shaken by her words. “I’m not my father,” he repeated. “When I’ve left you out, it’s not because I don’t value your opinion, or think my way’s the only way. It’s because I’m trying to protect you from the worry you feel where money’s concerned. I’ve explained that before.”

“And I’ve told you that silence is exactly the wrong way to fix that,” she said. “If you explain things to me, show me those figures you say you have, maybe I’ll see what you see and won’t be so afraid.”

He nodded. “Probably a valid point.”

She smiled then. “Probably?”

“Okay, definitely.” He pushed his notes across to her. “These are just the current figures,” he cautioned. “Maddie’s convinced the open house and launch next week will show a huge spike. That’s what happened with The Corner Spa once word of mouth kicked in. I know I already have more men signed up for private training than I did women in the first few months at the spa.”

Karen studied the numbers, blinking at the bottom line. She lifted her gaze to meet his. “Seriously? This is the income you’re looking at already?”

He nodded. “The gym will get a cut the same way the spa does.” He pointed to another figure. “But it’s still a sizable boost for us. We can manage the loan and put money back into the baby account, Karen. You can see it’s right there in black and white.”

She breathed an audible sigh of relief and felt the tension in her shoulders finally begin to ease. “Helen told me it was going to be okay, but seeing it on paper like this really does make a believer out of me. Thank you for not brushing off my concerns or dismissing them as irrational.”

“I never meant to do that, ever,” he said. “I tried to protect you and only wound up making things worse.”

“Which should be a lesson to you,” she said.

“Full disclosure from here on out,” he promised.

Karen nodded. It was another one of those midnight promises made with sincerity that she knew without a doubt she could count on.

“Something else came up while I was at Helen’s,” she said.

He winced. “She told you I’d been to see her about adopting Daisy and Mack,” he guessed.

“You got it,” she said, frowning. “Why would you do that?”

“I just wanted to be sure the legalities wouldn’t get complicated,” he said. “I had every intention of discussing what she told me with you tonight.”

“And ironically, until I saw those loan papers, I had every intention of talking to you about the same thing. Mack and Daisy want this as much as you do. At least Mack does. I haven’t sat down with Daisy yet, but I have no doubt that she’s as eager as he is. I didn’t realize they’d been discussing this.”

Elliott studied her face. “How about you? Are you ready to take this step?”

She caught the hopeful note in his voice, remembered the plea she’d heard from her son and nodded. “Can we not say anything to Mack and Daisy just yet, though?”

He frowned at the request. “Still hedging your bets. Karen?”

“I suppose I am,” she said candidly. “I believe we made great strides here tonight, but the way we got here shook me up a little. It reminded me that there are still some big differences in the way we look at marriage.”

Elliott hesitated, looking as if he were torn about how to respond. To her surprise, though, he finally nodded agreement.

“There are,” he said, his expression somber. “But I have a hunch the ones I see are not the same as the differences you see.”

“I don’t understand,” she said, undeniably shaken even without hearing exactly what he meant.

“You see marriage as a partnership, and you think I see it as some kind of benevolent dictatorship.”

She couldn’t deny the truth of that assessment. “True.”

“Want to know the difference that concerns me?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Okay, then,” he said slowly, as if gathering his thoughts. “I see marriage as a commitment I made to spend forever with you, through good times and bad.” He held her gaze. “You’re convinced there are term limits. Until you truly believe that I will love you until the day I die and can say the same, then you’re right. We’re on shaky ground. You’ll view every mistake I make as a step on a slippery slope to divorce.”

At the seriousness of his tone, Karen felt the earth shift under her. He sounded so sure that his love was undying. He’d felt that certainty from the very beginning. Why couldn’t she take that same leap of faith? Was it past history? Was it his own recent actions? Or was there something wrong with her that she viewed love as something that always came with an expiration date?

All she knew for sure was that she needed to figure that out, and she needed to do it soon before she lost the most important relationship of her life with a man who was truly dedicated to loving her and her children—not just now, but forever.