“Love waking up with you in my bed,” I tell Bea when she stirs to life, her cheek pressed into my chest. I kiss the top of her head, her curls tickling my nose.
I had an early morning run and got a stretch in outside before rinsing off and slipping back under the blankets with Bea. With her in my arms, my body unwinds, my mind clears, and I’m able to fully relax. It’s a relief, not mentally crossing things off a check list or gearing up for the next item on the agenda.
For a handful of hours, usually when the rest of my town is sleeping, I revel in holding my girlfriend in my arms and just be. Be with her.
Bea turns her head, her lips dragging over my chest as she presses a kiss over my heart. “Me too.” She sits up, wiping sleep from her eyes. “I can make pancakes for breakfast.”
I grin. “You can but I have to pass. I had a smoothie.”
She pouts. “You can’t have one pancake?”
I shake my head, knowing I’m being strict but, “I’m in training.”
“I thought you liked cupcakes?”
I snicker. “I love cupcakes. But one month of wooing you resulted in my eating seventeen cupcakes.”
Bea laughs. “You counted?”
I shrug, knowing how strange it sounds to some people. “I track my nutrition. That month pushed me way off track.”
Bea snuggles back beside me. “You sure you’re not overcorrecting?”
I kiss the crown of her head. “I’m sure.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll just have boring oatmeal.”
I laugh, turning until I’m hovering over her. “I’ll make it interesting for you,” I say, kissing her neck. “I can add fruit.” I move down to her chest, flicking my tongue over her nipple through her thin sleep tank. She sighs. “Almond butter,” I mutter, my hand slipping up her shirt and smoothing along her ribs. “Flax seed.”
“Less talking.” Bea arches into me. “Oatmeal will never be sexy.”
I snort, pulling her shirt up and over her head. “Fine. But you are, baby.” Then, I kiss her hard and take my time showing her exactly how sexy I find her.
While Bea showers and I make her pancakes, my cousin Jamie calls.
“What’s up, Jaim?” I answer.
“Dad and I are coming to Tennessee!” she squeals.
Excitement thrums through me. I miss my family, but I never put pressure on them to come for a visit, or catch a game, even though I offer to pay for the flights and tickets. My uncle would never accept a handout and I know it’s hard for him to take off work. “When?”
“Next month! Your game against L.A.”
“Really? I can’t wait. I’ll get you tickets. Hell, you can sit in the family box.”
“Dad’s buying—”
“Stop,” I cut her off. “Listen, I get your dad wanting to do things his way, but coming to see me play means I get the good seats. For free. It’s not a handout, it’s freaking gratitude. I’d love for you to visit.”
“I know,” she agrees. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Family box. You’re my family.”
“Will your girlfriend be there?”
The water in the shower turns off and I smile. “Yes. I can’t wait for you and Uncle Kirk to meet her. You’re going to love her.”
“I can’t wait too. Even Dad’s excited about it. I think he’s a little shocked you have a serious girlfriend.”
I chuckle, knowing she’s right. My uncle constantly encouraged me to ask girls out, to have some fun, but I couldn’t deviate from the plan. I had to get a scholarship, I had to play Division One, I had to get drafted. I needed to prove to everyone who thought I’d amount to nothing wrong. I needed to show them that I became a player in the NHL.
“Send me your dates; I’ll sort out the flights.”
“No way,” Jamie says. “I may be able to convince Dad about the family box, but he’d never accept the flights.”
I sigh. “I wish he’d accept a hell of a lot more. Everything I achieved is because of him, because of his and your support.”
“You’re sweet, Cole, but you would have made it no matter what. You’re the most determined guy I know.”
“I want your dad to take it easy,” I say, not responding to her comment. My uncle and cousin think too much of me. Most of my drive comes from spite, but a tiny slice comes from wanting to live up to the man they think me to be. A hell of a lot more whole than I am.
“You and me both.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see you.”
“Same. Block your social calendar while we’re in town. I want to see Knoxville.”
“What social calendar?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Now that you’ve got a girlfriend, I imagine you’re busy with, you know, plans and things?”
I chuckle. “Hardly. I’m at the arena all the time and Bea’s working on a sculpting showcase. Pottery. She’s everything, Jamie.”
I can hear the smile in my cousin’s reply. “I’m sure she is. But…” Her tone sobers. “Make sure you’re making room for her in your life, Cole. You tend to have a one-track mind.”
“We’re good,” I say, wanting to shut this conversation shift down. While I know Jamie’s looking out, I don’t need anyone’s opinion or advice, no matter how well-intentioned it is, on my relationship with Bea. I ended it when Beau tried to interject, and I’ll do the same with my family.
My relationship with Bea is between the two of us. If we understand each other, that’s all that matters.
Jamie sighs. “Okay.”
I soften my tone. “I’m really happy you’re coming to see me.”
“Me too.” The smile is back. “Are you seeing Bea today?”
As if on cue, Bea enters the kitchen. Her hair is still damp, pulled into a high bun on top of her head, curls spilling out. “She just entered the kitchen. Gonna have some pancakes.”
“You?” Jamie sputters. “Eat pancakes in the middle of training?”
I laugh. My cousin knows me well. “Gonna watch Bea eat,” I amend.
Jamie snorts. “Go. Have a great breakfast. Tell Bea hello and I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Will do. Take care of yourself. If you need anything—”
“I’m fine, Cole.”
“Call me.”
“Goodbye.”
“‘Bye.” I hang up the phone.
I grin at Bea who watches me closely. “Sit, I made you pancakes.”
She wrinkles her nose. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” I tell her, placing down her dish and moving to fill her a mug with coffee and cream, one sugar.
I take the seat across from her. “My uncle and cousin are coming to visit. They’re going to catch the L.A. game.”
“Ooh, really?” Bea asks around a mouthful. “Damn, Cole. You’re missing out. These are delicious.”
I’d be lying if I said the pancakes, the maple syrup, weren’t tempting. But I locked away my cravings years ago. My high school coach’s voice rings in my mind whenever I start to cave. If you want to be the best, you have to go all in. “Thanks, babe. You enjoy them.” I take a sip of water instead. “Jamie says hello and she can’t wait to meet you.”
Bea beams. “I’m excited to meet them too.”
“Look at us, meeting the family.”
“And all in the same month,” she says, reminding me of Gran’s party. “You’re a relationship natural.”
I laugh. “I think you make it easy.”
Bea blows me a kiss and takes another bite of pancakes. “If you keep cooking like this, you’ll never get rid of me.”
“Then I need to up my game. Learn some new recipes.”
Bea spears another bite of pancake with her fork. “Better get on that, Philips.”
I lean over the table to take her hand. “Putting it on the top of my to-do list, Turner.”
She grins. “Good.”
I add another ten-pound plate to each end of the weight bar and slide underneath.
“You’re gonna burn out,” Damien Barnes comments.
“Nah.” I shake my head, gripping the bar.
He swears and moves behind my head to spot me. Even though I don’t need it, I’m too polite to tell him to back off.
“We already lifted this morning,” he reminds me.
“You’re here,” I grit out as I bench press.
“I’m stretching.” He snorts, his tone holding a thread of disbelief. “And making sure you don’t suffocate if your arms give out.”
I ignore him and complete my set, re-racking the bar. I sit up and mop the sweat off my face with the end of my tank. “My arms don’t give out.”
“You’re getting cocky, Philips,” Damien says it half as a joke, half as a warning.
“I’m not.” I guzzle some water. “I’m just in training. I’m tracking everything, workouts, reps, calories, macros, everything. I know what I can handle, and I know when to pull back.”
He watches me for a beat, his eyes more perceptive than most of the team gives him credit for. “If it becomes too much, you let someone know. You can call me.”
“I know, man. Thanks. I appreciate you.” I mean it too. Barnes is a decent guy; he’s always looking out for the guys on the team. But I’ve always been this intense during training. I’m still trying to make up for the cupcake feast. I’m also trying to balance hockey with Bea. I need the workouts, the outlet they provide, the space to release my energy and calm my nerves.
“What’s going on with you and Turner’s sister?”
“Bea.” I can’t stop the grin that slides across my face at her name. “We’re good. She’s, she’s the best.”
Barnes smiles back. “Good. Happy for you, Rookie.”
“Yeah, me too.” I toss my water bottle into my gym bag. It feels good to be fulfilled, truly happy, for the first time in…maybe ever. “I’m taking off, Barnes. You good?”
He lifts a hand in farewell. “Just stretching, man. Catch you tomorrow.”
“See ya.” I head back to the locker room, take a quick shower, and head home.
I should be exhausted, after a run and two lifts, but my adrenaline is still high. Energy bounces around my body, restless and needing to be channeled into something productive. I text Bea.
Me: Hey! You busy?
An hour passes with no response. Sighing, I force myself to go buy groceries, hoping she replies in the meantime. I’m looking up new dinner recipes when she texts back.
Bea: Hi! At studio.
Me: Late night?
Bea: Another hour or so.
Me: Hungry?
Bea: Always.
Me: Come by? I’ll make you dinner.
Bea: Beef Wellington?
Me: (Laughing emoji) I learned my lesson. I scaled back. Pasta primavera.
Bea: I’ll bring the wine.
Me: Not drinking baby but I have wine for you. Just bring yourself.
Bea: Dessert?
Me: If you want something special…
Bea: I guess I’ll settle for you.
Me: (Laughing emoji) Bring that sass too. I miss it. Miss you.
Bea: Same. See you soon.
I toss down my phone and set to work on dinner. I’m just finishing setting the table when Bea knocks on the front door.
“It’s open,” I call out.
She appears a moment later, her cheeks rosy, her hair messy, her shirt dirty. I smile. “You look beautiful.”
“I look like a disaster.”
“A beautiful one.”
She snorts but comes into my open arms and kisses me. “It smells delicious.”
“I’m putting in work, trying to keep you around.”
Her eyes dance as she pulls away. “I’m not going anywhere, Cole.”
“I hope not, babe.” I smile when I say it, but the words come out heavy, filled with truth.
Bea’s expression tempers and she leans up on her tippy toes, placing a sensual, soulful kiss to my mouth. Her lips roll over mine like a secret to share, and when I part my lips, she spills it into my mouth. I grip the back of her neck, kissing her with as much emotion as she’s giving me.
Our kiss turns spicy, our chemistry igniting. I’m about to pick her up and relocate us to the bedroom when Bea pulls away. Her eyes hold mine. “Let’s eat first,” she says, her tone low. “I’m famished.”
“Okay,” I agree, my hand cupping her cheek. Then, I smile. “I’m better than dessert anyway.”
“Much, much better.”
We sit down and eat a delicious meal. It’s normal and ordinary. It’s something couples do all the time, it’s something Bea and I have been doing for weeks. But tonight, something has shifted in the space between us. Our looks are more lingering. Our touches are more intentional.
I’m falling in love with this beautiful woman, and I don’t want to give her up. I don’t want to lose her. I never want to disappoint her. The thought of letting her down, of losing her, terrifies me.
When Bea scoops up her last penne and her plate is clean, I stand from the table and tug on her hand.
“The dishes—” She looks around the cluttered table.
“Can wait,” I finish her sentence and pull her up. “I want you, Bea. Please.”
Her eyes spark, desire and understanding washing over her expression. “Yes. Always, Cole.”
She follows me into my bedroom and strips out of her dusty, dirty clothing. I lose my sweats and T-shirt. Tonight, when I take her into my arms, our connection is deeper. Our kisses last longer. Our coupling morphs into a lovemaking that is more meaningful than anything I ever experienced.
We orgasm together, coming down from our bliss in tandem. I pull back to look at her, to lose myself in her thundercloud eyes. “I love you, Bea.”
A soft, sated smile crosses her face. “You have no idea all the things I feel for you, Cole.” She leans up to kiss me. “I love you so much.”
Emotions rock through me. They’re sudden and intense, creating a windstorm that rushes through my veins. I let the feelings sweep through me, grateful to experience them. Grateful to have the love of my life looking at me with wonder and love shining in her eyes. It’s as undeniable as the love in mine.
I hold her close, kiss her softly. Again, our soft gives way to a steam that has us both reaching the highest pinnacle and tumbling down as one. Always together.