The ride back to my house was painfully quiet. Casting another quick glance at Derek, I shifted in my seat and then fidgeted with the radio.
I wasn’t sure how to handle awkward silence with Derek, especially when I had no idea why he was suddenly so distant. My mind called up that tense moment in the hallway, and I bit my lip.
Was that what this was about?
My stomach churned at the thought.
But no, it couldn’t be. We’d been having a good day. A great day. I glanced over, trying to find some hint of the smiling, laughing guy I’d been having so much fun with.
All I got was a stony silence and a stoic expression. Maybe he was mad at me because it was my idea to wear masks, and that was what had led to the whole security guard scene.
I cleared my throat. “You know, it’s really not a huge deal. We didn’t get in any serious trouble with that guard. It’s not like we got arrested or anything.”
“Yeah, I know,” he muttered. That was it.
Well, okay then.
My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “For the masks. Maybe it wasn’t such a hot idea.”
He was silent, but I could feel his eyes on me.
For the first time in our lives, I had no idea what he was thinking, and it was killing me. I pulled into the garage, and Derek darted out before I’d even killed the engine.
He was running away like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough, and my insides twisted in horror.
I’d ruined everything. Crap. He must have seen how much I’d wanted him or noticed how I’d been leaning in toward him…
If a noise hadn’t interrupted, I would have kissed him. I would have kissed my best friend.
Ugh. No wonder he was freaked.
I jumped out of the car just as he reached the door leading to the house. “Derek, wait!”
He paused inside the garage, but when he turned back, there was a wariness in his eyes that I despised. He was retreating. I’d seen him do this before, many times, but never with me.
Oh crap, crap, crap. I’d ruined everything back there.
“Please don’t be mad at me,” I said. It came out sounding even more pathetic than I’d imagined. But honestly, I’d just started to feel like we were on the same page, like maybe we were even closer than ever, and I hated the thought that I might have ruined it all because my stupid hormones were stupidly aware that he was stupidly attractive.
For a second, I was ridiculously angry at his genes. Why did he have to grow up like that? Why did he have to become so very...male? The guy-girl difference had never been an issue before, and I refused to let it be now. I could fix this. I had to fix this.
“I’m not mad at you, Olivia,” he said softly. But his tone was weary. Almost defeated. It was anything but reassuring.
I hated that freakin’ tone.
“Then tell me what’s wrong,” I demanded.
His gaze roamed over my face, like he was trying to read something there. I found myself holding my breath as he moved closer. But he didn’t speak, and my fears went wild.
He didn’t know how to tell me that he didn’t see me like that. He was clearly freaked because he’d seen my desire and knew he had to let me down easy.
My blood pressure rose along with my panic as I filled in the blanks with each passing second of silence. “I know why you’re mad.”
It came out way louder than I’d intended, and his brows arched up high in surprise. “What?”
I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry as a bone as I clasped my hands together and spit it out. “I made things weird back there, and I’m sorry.”
He blinked. “What?”
Ugh. He wasn’t making this easy. I unclasped my hands, which was a mistake because they went flailing like I was a marionette. “Back at the mall,” I said. “In the hallway.”
Recognition flashed in his gaze. He knew what I was talking about.
Good. Great. We were on the same page.
“I made it weird because I almost kissed you, but I think I just got carried away, you know?” I was talking a mile a minute, and I didn’t give him a chance to answer. “We were having fun, and yeah, I wanted to kiss you, but it was a fleeting thing, and I didn’t. I think the key here is that I didn’t, right? So there’s nothing to be weird about.”
I stopped speaking abruptly and was hit with a wall of silence.
I clamped my lips shut before I could start babbling some more. Nope. Not weird at all. There is nothing weird going on here.
His expression was blank, and he was gawking at me like I’d just sprouted a second head.
Or babbled like a moron about how I’d wanted to kiss him. Smooth, Olivia. Really smooth. I winced and racked my brain for something else to say to make this better.
Sure, I’d been tempted to kiss him. And yeah, maybe I’d been having some more-than-friendly thoughts about him since he’d arrived. But I hadn’t meant to act on it. And I certainly wasn’t going to risk our friendship over it.
I straightened my shoulders, ready to say whatever needed to be said to get us back to normal. “Derek, I...”
But the moment I opened my mouth he moved toward me, stopping when he was right in front of me. “You wanted to kiss me?”
The question and his inscrutable gaze had my heart racing in alarm. Oh crap. Had he not known that? “Um…”
He moved even closer until he was towering over me. Dang it, why did he have to get so tall? I couldn’t even kick his butt anymore. Nothing was the same between us.
I shut my eyes as he asked again. “Olivia, did you want to kiss me?”
Nothing was the same between us, and yet everything was the same. It was so confusing. How was I supposed to know what I wanted?
All I knew for certain was that...he smelled good.
No! Stupid brain. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about how good he smelled, or how I could feel the heat from his body as he loomed over me, or how I knew with excruciating detail just how many muscles were hiding beneath his T-shirt right now.
I opened my eyes and focused on his chin.
All I knew for certain was that I’d almost kissed him, and he’d freaked. If that didn’t clarify where we stood, nothing did.
I drew in a deep breath and tilted my head back further until I met his gaze.
Mistake! My brain froze at the intensity in his eyes. When one of his hands came up and cupped my cheek, I stopped breathing entirely.
My heart felt like it was trying to escape as my lips parted.
He leaned forward. “Olivia, did you want to kiss me back there? Is that what you’re apologizing for?”
My lips parted for air, but all I could manage was a nod. But with that little gesture, something seemed to snap in the air between us, and Derek leaned down until his lips covered mine.
I froze as sensations flooded through me, each one more intense than the last. His lips were warm and firm, his hand on my cheek achingly tender. His other arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, and that was when my brain officially shut down.
My curves pressed against his hard chest, and my world came down to him. His lips moved over mine, and I kissed him back, tentatively at first and then with more urgency as the kiss took on a life of its own. I slid my hands up his chest to his shoulders, and the growling sound he made low in his throat made me shiver.
The kiss deepened, and Derek was crushing me to him with a passion that bordered on desperation.
I knew because I felt it too. This overwhelming need to get closer, to taste and feel and—
And he was gone.
I blinked in surprise as the heat of his body was replaced with cold air. He let me go so quickly I stumbled back and watched in shock as he turned away from me, his hands thrusting through his hair as he muttered something to himself.
I couldn’t hear what, but it didn’t take a genius to see he was kicking himself.
I stood there watching him as the silence swelled and grew. All I could hear was my own labored breathing as my brain and my body tried to figure out what was happening. I was dizzy and disoriented, and I was pretty sure I’d just been sucked into an emotional tornado because—what the heck was that?
Had I just made out with my best friend?
Yes. Yes, I had.
And that kiss was better than anything I ever could have imagined.
I stared at his back as he walked away from me toward the tool bench.
It had been amazing...hadn’t it?
So why did he seem so upset?
And why did I have this terrifying suspicion that giving in to the most amazing kiss in the world...might have just cost me everything.