I bit my lip as Kerry waited patiently for me to explain why I’d pulled her aside. I took a deep breath, then blurted it out before I could change my mind.

‘Kerry, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to play the part of the Nurse. When you hinted last week that I had an important role, I thought you meant I’d been cast as Juliet. I kind of had my heart set on that role.’ There. I’d said it. I didn’t want to play a different part and watch Belle star in the role I’d thought was mine.

‘Edie, I’m really sorry if I confused you. You’re a great actor and you could have a great future ahead of you. But the part of Juliet is enormous, and this is your first real production. I wouldn’t put you under that sort of pressure. I’m sorry, I thought you understood that lead roles go to the more experienced students,’ said Kerry.

It made sense. How could I have expected to play the lead when all I’d ever done were class exercises and a couple of tiny parts last year? I nodded. I didn’t want Kerry to feel bad. It wasn’t her fault that I’d jumped to the wrong conclusion.

‘Normally I’d take any role, and I’m sure the Nurse is a great part, but I gave up a spot on the state netball team because I thought I was playing Juliet. If I go now, I might actually make it to the court in time to try and beg my way back in.’

‘I know that would have been a big decision, and I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. Is there anything I can say to change your mind?’ asked Kerry with a sad look on her face. I shook my head. I couldn’t wait to tell Tess I’d be playing netball with her after all.

‘Well, I hope you can come and help out in some small way, if you have time. It would be a shame not to have you involved at all,’ said Kerry kindly.

‘Of course I will,’ I said.

I gave Kerry a big hug, hoping I was making the right decision. She asked if I wanted to come and say goodbye to the cast, but I said no. I had to rush if I was going to get to the netball centre in time, and besides, I felt embarrassed about pulling out of the play. I was pretty sure the rest of the cast would think I was sulking because I didn’t get the part I wanted. But I really wasn’t. I just wasn’t prepared to give up state netball for the part of the Nurse.

Leaving the theatre I felt really strange. I’d spent days dreaming about playing Juliet, imagining myself in the role. Now, suddenly, I was out of the play completely, about to ride to the stadium to try and beg my way back onto the netball team. It felt crazy.

‘Hey, Edie,’ I heard someone call as I reached my bike.

I turned around and saw Jackson walking over to me. ‘Where are you going?’ he asked.

‘Um, to the netball centre,’ I said, avoiding his gaze.

‘Why? Aren’t you rehearsing?’

He was going to find out anyway. ‘I’ve dropped out of the play,’ I said.

‘Oh. That’s a shame.’ He looked like he meant it.

I nodded, wondering if I’d made the right decision. ‘Did you get the part you wanted?’ I asked, trying to change the subject.

‘No, but I got Friar Lawrence – Kerry assures me it’s a great part!’ he said with a smile, which made me feel even worse. It seemed like everyone was happy, despite being cast in roles they hadn’t wanted – everyone except me.

‘I’d better go, Jackson,’ I said.

‘Okay. Hopefully I’ll see you around. Maybe we can pair up again in chemistry?’

‘Yeah, absolutely,’ I said, giving him a distracted smile as I jumped on my bike. ‘Catch you later!’

Trying not to think about Jackson, I jumped on my bike and raced to the State Netball Centre. Dumping my bike, I ran up the stairs and down to the training courts. I could hear the telltale sounds of netballs being thrown and sneakers squeaking on the courts. I tried to remember what I was going to say. I’d worked it all out on the way, but now that I was there, walking onto the court to find the coach, I’d completely forgotten.

I spotted Tess doing ball drills with Maggie. She was red-faced and sweaty looking as she passed the ball back and forth, trying to second-guess where Maggie would throw it. As I watched her train, I felt awful. I missed her like crazy, and I couldn’t believe I’d chosen acting over playing netball – state netball – with my very best friend.

‘Excuse me, are you okay?’ asked a woman, walking towards me.

‘Oh, yeah, hi, I’m Edie Thomas,’ I said, hoping she’d recognise my name and I wouldn’t have to explain myself. But she just looked blankly at me.

‘Oh, um, I was supposed to be in this team and then I pulled out but my life’s changed again and I can join the team now,’ I garbled. It was the worst explanation ever, but the woman just smiled at me.

‘I’m Justine. The coach.’

‘Oh, hi,’ I said. ‘Tess Lucas is my best friend,’ I said, madly waving at the court where Tess was training.

Justine nodded. ‘Right. Now I remember. Edie Thomas. Goal Attack,’ she said warmly.

I was so pleased she’d finally worked out who I was. ‘Yes, that’s me!’ I said, relieved.

‘I’m sorry, Edie, but we’ve just offered your position to another girl. I can’t just take you back. It doesn’t work like that,’ said Justine.

I felt sick. Of course I couldn’t just change my mind. This was state netball. ‘What if I try out?’ I said, realising that it sounded like I was begging.

‘Sure, but the next tryout isn’t until later in the year.’

I slumped. I felt stupid. And to top it off, at exactly that moment, Tess looked over and noticed me talking to Justine. She tossed the ball to Maggie and jogged over. ‘Edie? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?’ She sounded quite worried – she must have seen how awful I looked.

Justine stepped back from us. ‘I’ll give you two a minute to talk.’

Now that I was here with Tess, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to admit that I’d thought I could get back onto the team just because I’d changed my mind – but what choice did I have? I had to tell her the truth.

‘I was trying to join the team,’ I said lightly. ‘Rejoin the team,’ I added quietly.

Tess looked like she thought I was crazy. ‘What about Juliet?’

‘Um, I’m not playing Juliet. Long story,’ I said, not wanting to get into it just then.

Tess took a step back. ‘Edie, you’ve been playing with the Sapphires long enough to understand what makes a good team. Imagine if everyone could just come and go when they got a better offer. It would be a disaster.’

‘It’s not like that, Tess,’ I said defensively. But she was right. It was like that.

She looked angry. ‘You can’t just swan back into the team because you changed your mind.’

‘But you’ve only just started training!’ I said.

‘So what? The rest of us actually want to be here. Just because you don’t have to train like I do to be a good player, doesn’t mean you can just do what you want,’ she said coldly.

I couldn’t believe the way she was looking at me. ‘Tess, you don’t understand. State netball versus Juliet was an impossible choice. But I’m not playing Juliet anymore. And I really do want to be on this team. I want to play netball with you!’

‘Look, I get that you love drama – so much that you were willing to give up your spot on the team. But we’re not just sitting around waiting for you to come back, Edie. It’s not all about you.’

I noticed that some of the other players had started looking over at us, obviously wondering what was going on. I spoke as softly as I could, hoping Tess would take the hint. ‘It’s not like that, Tess. I just want to play netball with you.’

Tess pulled a really weird face. It was sort of cross and confused and surprised, all at once. ‘You should have thought of that yesterday.’

As much as I hated to admit it, I knew she was right.

Feeling like I didn’t belong, I started walking towards the exit, trying to hold back the tears. I’d almost made it to the doors when Tess ran up and threw her arms around me.

‘Can you wait till we’ve finished training?’ she asked. ‘We can hang out,’ she added.

‘Really?’ I said, sounding so eager that she laughed. ‘Of course I’ll wait. Totally. I love waiting,’ I babbled, relieved that my best friend had finally forgiven me.

Tess smiled and I followed her back towards the court, sitting down to watch the team finish their drills. I’d messed up everything. Acting. Netball. Even my friendship with Tess – almost. But I could live without playing Juliet and without playing state netball, so long as Tess and I were still besties.

After training we rode back to Tess’s house. We didn’t say much on the way – it was like we were storing it all up until we could talk properly.

‘Are you hungry, Edie?’ asked Tess’s mum as we walked into the kitchen. It was warm and full of amazing, familiar smells. I was so happy to be back there.

‘Starving!’ I said. While Tess’s mum served up two huge bowls of pasta I texted Dad to tell him where I was. My parents were used to me hanging out at Tess’s house all the time. So long as they knew where I was, they never minded.

As Tess and I ate, she eyed me curiously. ‘So? Are you going to tell me what happened?’

I kept my eyes down, concentrating on twirling my pasta around and around my fork. ‘Um, okay. It turns out Kerry wasn’t telling me I had the part of Juliet. I was actually cast as the Nurse.’

‘Oh,’ said Tess.

‘Yeah. Giving up state netball to play Juliet made sense to me …’

Tess finished my thought, ‘… but when you found out you were only cast as the Nurse, you didn’t think that part was worth it?’

Hearing Tess say it so bluntly made me feel even worse. I thought about Mel, and how upbeat she’d been, despite missing out on a part altogether.

Tess slurped up her spaghetti, flicking sauce everywhere. She laughed and wiped her mouth, then eyed me seriously. ‘But isn’t that just what happens with acting? It’s like netball. You take what you get and …’

‘… you don’t get upset!’ I finished the saying for her. It was something our Sapphires coach used to say before we had set positions, when we’d all complained about having to play in positions we hated. Tess was right, but it wasn’t just the part that was bothering me.

‘I also didn’t want to have to watch Belle kiss Freddy every night,’ I said quietly.

Tess looked at me, spaghetti sauce around her mouth. ‘Thought you said it wasn’t about being with Freddy?’

‘It wasn’t, but I still don’t want to watch him with someone else.’

Tess shrugged. ‘I think if you want be an actor as much as you say you do, then you should just play the part you were given.’

I groaned and slumped down on the table. ‘But I don’t want to. Besides, it’s probably too late. Just like netball!’

At the mention of netball, my friend shot me a very pointed look.

‘I know, I know. I can’t expect the world to wait while I work out what I want to do,’ I said.

‘No, but you can commit to something and stick to it,’ said Tess, sounding wiser than my dad on a good day.

I rolled my eyes, and Tess laughed. ‘Ring Kerry and tell her you’ve changed your mind. Take the part.’

But no matter what Tess said, I didn’t want to play the Nurse. I was embarrassed, I was disappointed, and I really didn’t want to play a part that supported Belle in my lead role. Of course, that didn’t mean I couldn’t be involved at all.

‘You know what? I’ve got an even better idea!’ I said.

Tess leant forward, intrigued. ‘Do tell,’ she said.

I shook my head. ‘You’ll have to wait and see.’