I sat in the foyer, trying to get my head around being the Nurse. Okay, so it wasn’t the part I wanted, but it was better than nothing, right? I wanted to be an actor, and actors were cast in all sorts of roles – including some they didn’t want.

‘Edie?’ someone said. ‘You okay?’

I glanced up to see Jackson looking down at me with a concerned expression. I wondered if Kerry had sent him to check on me. How embarrassing. They’d probably already started doing a read-through while I was sitting out in the foyer feeling sorry for myself. I managed to shrug as he sat down next to me.

‘I’m fine,’ I said, trying to keep it together.

He eyed me suspiciously. ‘You’re not exactly jumping with joy.’

I shrugged again. ‘I just really wanted to play Juliet. I turned down state netball with my best friend for this. And now I’m just the stupid Nurse.’

‘Are you kidding? The Nurse is an awesome part. Okay, it might not be the lead, but it’s great.’

‘You think?’ I said, surprised. I hadn’t even noticed the Nurse when I was reading the play. Then again, I’d been totally focused on Juliet.

‘How many movies have you seen where the character that makes the biggest impact on you isn’t the lead?’ asked Jackson. I thought about it for a second and realised he was right. Heaps of my favourite characters weren’t major parts.

Then Jackson nudged me. ‘That little girl in E.T.? The witches in Macbeth? They totally steal it from the leads. Juliet isn’t everything, you know.’

‘I guess. The witches are pretty amazing. But I haven’t seen E.T.’

Jackson looked horrified. ‘What? That’s one of the best films ever made!’

I laughed at his reaction. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll go home and watch it, I promise.’

‘I’ve got it at home. You can borrow it if you like,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘Now, are you coming in?’

Just because I’d agreed to play the Nurse didn’t mean I wanted to face Belle or Freddy right now. I still felt like Belle had been given my part.

As if he was reading my mind, Jackson said quietly, ‘You know I auditioned for Romeo even though I knew Freddy would probably get it?’

‘Really?’I said, wondering if he felt the same way I did. ‘But you don’t seem upset.’

He shook his head, and that cute floppy fringe dropped down over his eye.

‘It’s okay. I’m playing Friar Lawrence. Another great “not lead” role. It looks like you and I will be spending a lot of time together,’ he said, laughing. Then he blushed and added, ‘You know, because they’re in lots of scenes together.’

I smiled. He was really nice, and really cute, and I liked that he understood how bad I felt about it all. Even the fact that he blushed was sweet.

‘I can’t wait to see how old they make you look, Nurse,’ said Jackson, grinning at me.

‘My sister won’t be happy. She thought she was going to get the chance to play hairdresser on Juliet. Now I’ll be some ancient old crone.’

Jackson laughed. ‘You’ll make a great crone.’

‘Hey!’ I said, hitting him playfully on the arm and feeling more like myself again. I stood up. ‘Come on, let’s go and upstage those star-crossed lovers!’

Jackson held the door open for me and we walked into the theatre together. My stomach was all nervy. I took a deep breath. Acting classes came in handy for all sorts of things, and this was going to be one of those times. I had to pretend I was fine with not playing Juliet. My hurt and disappointment would just have to wait until I got home.

The rest of the cast was already sitting in a circle on stage doing a read-through. They stopped reading as Jackson jumped up onto the stage and held out his hand to pull me up. It felt weird holding his hand in front of everyone, and as soon as I was on the stage, I let go and found a spare seat. Jackson squeezed an extra chair in beside me, and I wondered if he was trying to look after me.

‘Edie, just in time for your first big speech,’ said Kerry warmly. The girl next to me passed me a photocopied version of the script and I held it across so Jackson and I could share it. His arm bumped against mine and for a second I imagined I wasn’t on stage, but just hanging out with Jackson.

Then I made myself stop thinking, looked down at the speech on the page and started to read. I stumbled over quite a few of the words because they were old and unfamiliar.

‘Even or odd, of all days in the year,

Come Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteen.

Susan and she – God rest all Christian souls! –

Were of an age: well, Susan is with God;

She was too good for me: but, as I said,

On Lammas-eve at night shall she be fourteen.’

Even though I knew Jackson was right about smaller parts being amazing and memorable, I really loved some of Juliet’s speeches, and I couldn’t shake that thought from my head. Then Belle started reading and I realised how closely we would have to work together – my part was all about supporting her character. Great.

After the read-through, Kerry told us she wanted us to have our lines down by week three. Belle started complaining about how many lines she had to learn compared to everyone else, and Jackson shot me a look, checking in to see if I was okay. I was sort of touched that he was looking out for me.

As I was packing up my stuff, trying to escape before I had to talk to anyone, Freddy came up behind me.

‘Edie, you happy with your part?’

‘Yeah, I guess. Congratulations on playing Romeo,’ I said.

Before Freddy could reply, Belle flounced over, touching him on the arm. ‘You ready to go?’

He looked at me and then at Belle. He seemed a little embarrassed as he nodded at her. ‘Yeah.’

I watched as they walked off together, and felt even more miserable than I had a couple of hours ago.

‘Edie?’ said Jackson quietly. He was looking at me funny – I must have been staring after Freddy.

‘Yeah?’

‘You okay?’

I nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Jackson didn’t leave straight away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I was distracted by my thoughts about Freddy as I grabbed my bag and left the theatre.

Usually after a day like that, I’d ride straight to Tess’s for a debrief over ice-cream, but since she still wasn’t talking to me, I had no choice but to go home. To Jean and a bowl of reheated macaroni and cheese. Bleuch.

‘Hey, Juliet,’ Jean said, moving her feet so I could sit down.

I’d totally forgotten I was going to have to tell her that I wasn’t playing Juliet after all. ‘Um, about that …’ I said.

‘Didn’t get the part?’

‘How do you know?’ Oh god, what if everyone knows? But nobody really knew how much I’d wanted the role, and Tess and Jean were the only ones I’d told about it.

‘It happened to me once. I thought the director was telling me I had the lead, and I told everyone. At least you were smart enough not to tell everyone,’ she said, looking sympathetic.

‘Yeah, but I did pull out of the state netball team because I thought I was Juliet. That wasn’t very smart,’ I said, relieved that I could be honest with Jean, and that she understood.

She made a face. ‘Yeah. That’s rough. But you can still make something of this, you know. Sometimes the smaller parts are easier to make yours, and even though you don’t realise it at the time, it’s an awesome role and you can make it incredible,’ she said, smiling. ‘That’s what I did that year. I blew the lead girl off the stage!’

I laughed. I’d seen Jean act a few times, and she’d been amazing. That’s why it was so weird when she stopped.

‘Huh. Not sure I can do much with the Nurse,’ I sighed.

‘Edie, the Nurse is a great character,’ Jean said knowingly.

I frowned at her. I wasn’t quite ready to celebrate yet. ‘No, she’s old. And – not Juliet.’

‘I can get this amazing stage make-up that will make you look all wrinkly. And we can make your hair look grey. You’ll look awesome,’ she said enthusiastically.

‘I don’t think awesome is quite the right word.’

Jean shrugged. ‘You want to be an actor, right? So, you’ll be playing someone totally different to you. Isn’t that kind of the point?’

‘Yeah, I suppose so,’ I said begrudgingly.

‘You see, I’m older than you. And wiser. So what I say always makes sense,’ she said.

As much as it had helped hearing Jean’s take on it, I wasn’t up to any more advice, so I left her on the couch with her trashy TV and escaped upstairs to my room. I slumped on my bed and started going through my script, marking all my lines. But two pages in, I stopped. I kept getting distracted by Juliet’s lines, imagining how I would deliver them. Okay, so the Nurse wasn’t a small part, and she was kind of important to the story, but I still couldn’t get excited about playing her. Not yet.

I looked out at the faces of some of the cast members in the audience and suddenly felt really shy. I had this huge speech to get out, but I couldn’t remember how it started. I stared at the theatre lights, wishing they’d swallow me up. I’d never felt like this before on stage, but then, I guess I’d never played such a meaty character before. Some of the Nurse’s speeches were pretty huge, and I was still getting used to the language.

I heard Belle cough, waiting for me to speak. She could have prompted me, instead of making me feel awkward and shy, but it was Jackson who came to my rescue. I heard him say the first three words of my speech really quietly behind me, and suddenly I remembered it. Well, I thought I did. Halfway through I dried again. This time Kerry called for a break and told me to get a drink of water and to try and relax. Of course, that just made me feel worse.

As I went to find my drink bottle, hoping to avoid the rest of the cast, I found Jackson backstage, sitting on the ground eating a bag of grapes.

‘You hiding?’

He shook his head, then stopped and nodded. I laughed. ‘I totally get it. Thanks for before, by the way,’ I said.

Offering me a grape, he said,‘Happens to us all.’

‘I guess.’ I sighed. ‘This part is so hard. I thought I wanted a leading role but then I keep getting all nervous whenever I have to give one of those long speeches.’

‘It’s probably just the language. It’s pretty hard to understand. It’s nothing like the plays we usually do.’

I sat down next to him, realising how much I liked being back here, away from the stage. It was dusty and quiet and all about the promise of a play, without the stress. Maybe I should have gone for a backstage role like Mel. Jackson held out the grapes again and I took a handful, just as Kerry called us back.

‘Already?’ I groaned.

‘You’ll be fine. Just imagine everyone else is nude.’

‘Ergh,’ I said, thinking about Belle. ‘Not helpful!’

Jackson laughed at the face I was pulling. ‘Just forget about them. That’s what I meant. Just focus on you and your lines. Everything else will come.’

And he was right. As long as I didn’t look out at the audience, I was fine. I managed a couple of big speeches, until Kerry cut me off.

‘You’re not projecting, Edie. You’re delivering your lines into the floor. We need to hear you out here in the audience. Doesn’t matter if the lines aren’t perfect, but you need to act them.’

I looked out into the audience. Even though the stage lights were shining in my eyes, making it hard to see faces, I felt shy. I struggled through my speech and was totally relieved when the scene ended and I could join the rest of the cast in the audience.

‘Okay, we’re going to run the death scene,’ said Kerry. Freddy, Belle, Jackson and the rest of the cast in the scene made their way onto the stage. I felt torn. Part of me wanted to run and the other part wanted to watch. So far I’d managed to avoid watching Freddy and Belle together, but Jackson was on stage too, and I’d have felt bad if I didn’t stay and support him. I just hoped Freddy and Belle wouldn’t kiss.

As the scene started, I couldn’t stop watching Freddy. He owned the part completely. He already knew his lines and gave them such meaning and heart. I totally believed he was in love with Juliet. He knelt next to Belle, who lay presumed dead on the floor, held up the bottle of poison and whispered,

‘From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!

Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you

The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death!

Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!

Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on

The dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark!

Here’s to my love!’

As Freddy drank the bottle of poison, I realised I was sitting on the edge of my seat, nervously waiting for the end of the scene.

‘O true apothecary!

Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’

Freddy bent down and kissed Belle, then pretended to die alongside her.

It’s only acting. That kiss meant nothing, I told myself. So why did it seem so real? Kerry’s loud applause broke the moment, and I watched as Belle sat up and Freddy smiled tenderly at her.

‘That was great,’ said Kerry. ‘Fantastic. And enough for today!’

Freddy and Belle walked off stage together. I heard her laugh, and then saw him place his hand on her back. I was beginning to doubt that it was just acting.

‘Wishing it was you playing Juliet?’ asked Jackson as he grabbed his bag from the seat behind me.

His question made me realise he knew I liked Freddy – or maybe it was just the look on my face, seeing them walk off together. ‘Actually, not really. I’m having enough trouble nailing all the Nurse’s lines!’

He smiled. ‘Do you want to run lines now?’

I totally surprised myself by nodding. Here I was lusting after Freddy, while making plans to run lines with Jackson. Talk about complicated!

I had a couple of huge speeches that were longer than anything I’d ever said on stage, so we started with them. Jackson read the other parts and I said my lines. When he read Juliet’s speeches, he’d put on this high-pitched voice, making me laugh so much I struggled to get a word out.

‘You’re making it impossible!’

‘Sorry,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’ll be professional.’ But his eyes sparkled as he said it.

‘I love the speech the Nurse gives when she thinks Juliet has died,’ I said.

Jackson nodded. ‘O woeful day?’

‘Yeah, that one. How good is it? It’s so beautiful. The rhythm. The words. The meaning. I love it!’

Jackson immediately launched into the speech. ‘O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day, most woeful day.’ He smiled. ‘I could definitely see myself using that when I’d forgotten to hand in my maths assignment.’

I laughed. ‘Yeah, well, Mr Murphy is kind of scary when you hand things in late.’

‘I’ll say. He actually rang my mum the last time I was late with something. Even she was terrified!’

I knew I should be heading home, but talking to Jackson was really great. I was missing my best friend, and it was nice to be having fun again.

‘So if you love that speech so much, does that mean you like your role?’

I thought about it. A small part of me still wished I was playing Juliet, but I was beginning to see that a smaller role could be fun, too. The Nurse was a key character, and had some great speeches, but I didn’t have to be on stage the whole time. And that was kind of a relief, especially after my weird stage fright during rehearsal.

‘Yeah, I think I do. You were right, she’s a good character.’

Jackson pretended to look shocked. ‘Never!’

My phone beeped and I pulled it out quickly, hoping for a message from Tess. But it was just Jean, asking me what I wanted for dinner. I made a face.

‘Do you have to go?’ asked Jackson, sounding disappointed.

‘Yeah, I’d better. My sister’s cooking dinner. Well, cooking is probably a bit generous, but still.’

We stood up at the same time and sort of crashed into each other. I’m not sure who was more embarrassed, but we both jumped back at the same time, blushing.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said, rushing off.

‘Thanks for your help,’ I called after him.

Weird. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I kind of liked him. And that maybe he liked me too. But then, if I liked Jackson, where would Freddy fit in?

Some days I ate lunch with the cast, but today I was going over my lines on my own. Suddenly I heard a voice at my shoulder. ‘Aren’t you playing Juliet?’

I looked up, shocked. It was Tess. It took me a minute to realise I’d never told her about the mix-up. We hadn’t spoken since I’d chosen to do the play.

I shook my head. ‘No, I’m the Nurse.’

She pulled a face. ‘You gave up netball to play a nurse?’

So she still didn’t understand. ‘Not a nurse. The Nurse. It’s a really great part.’ I realised I wasn’t just being defensive – I’d fallen in love with the part. I’d also figured out that I wasn’t ready to play a major part like Juliet. My stage fright was bad enough, even in a much smaller role.

‘Wow. So it wasn’t just about being Juliet – or getting closer to Freddy. You really wanted to be in the play,’ Tess said quietly.

I nodded, even though it wasn’t strictly true. I wouldn’t have given up playing state if I had known I was being cast as the Nurse, but once it was done, I didn’t really feel like I had a choice.

‘How’s netball going?’ I asked, desperate for a normal conversation with my best friend.

Tess was about to answer when Saskia appeared and grabbed her arm. ‘Come on Tess, let’s go practice.’

I couldn’t believe Saskia was about to ruin it. I willed Tess to tell her to go practice on her own, but instead she nodded and said,‘See you, Edie,’ with a sad look on her face.

‘Bye,’ I said, watching them walk off. At least Tess had looked like she missed me, and maybe wanted to talk more. That was something, wasn’t it?