For pleasure has no relish unless we share it.
—Virginia Woolf, “Montaigne”
THE MANNER in which partners descend from the transcendental dimensions of the sexual realm—the return to reality—is as relevant to the positive outcome of the ceremony as their ascent to Paradise. Taking the time together to come down from the inebriating effects of endorphin elation reinforces the physical and emotional benefits of extended, ritualized playtime. The longer and more intense the journey, the longer it will take for the effects of the body’s “love drug” to subside.
The Sexual Ceremony’s skillful elaboration unveils the depths of the inner spirit; as it closes, some lovers will feel the need to revel in the luxury of silence. Others may wish to talk, not necessarily about the ritual itself, but about general topics. This is perfectly natural, but until the ceremony is completely over, continue to refrain from broaching subjects that could allow reality to invade the ritual dimension.
It is also probable that you will both be inclined to wrap your arms around each other and take a nap. Plummeting into deep sleep is the most natural response to an exhilarating round of Paradise Found. When you do eventually rise, you are likely to be very hungry. If you opt to terminate your return to reality over a restaurant dinner, beyond the confines of the temple walls, take a shower or a bath together to regenerate your energy. Keep in mind that interrelating with anyone who was not part of your journey may feel slightly awkward until the effects of endorphin elation have completely subsided.
Neither partner should abandon the ceremonial space abruptly or without forewarning; it will break the magic spell of the sacred moment. It can even incite negative cathartic reactions in the partner left alone in the vortex of energy that you generated together.
If the time frame that you have carved out of a busy schedule is limited, and you or your partner are obliged to exit the temple separately or at a predetermined hour, arrange this in advance. An alarm can be set at least thirty minutes before the ceremony must come to an end. In the case that partners intend to engage in techniques like bondage and flagellation that prompt endorphins more readily into the bloodstream, the intensity of the session should be regulated accordingly. Exploring and pushing sexual boundaries to more intense degrees simply requires more time dedicated to ceremonial endeavors.
Coming down from the effects of rituals that have endured a full day or more can leave lovers feeling slightly bemused and befuddled. Push on through the day, eat light meals, and drink plenty of water. As body and brain resume “normal” functioning, these sensations will subside. Partners who do not live together should make a point to contact each other the following day, just to make sure that each is as happy and well, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as both were when going separate ways. This may also be the perfect occasion to set the date for your next journey to Paradise.