PART II

PARADISE FOUND: THE SEXUAL CEREMONY

In which Paradise beckons, and lovers abandon themselves to the profound sensual pleasures that rule the realm of erotic revelry.

THE ANCIENT GREEKS planned and carried out elaborate sexual rituals, both privately and publicly, in the form of the sacred orgy. As well as providing the attainment of deep satisfaction, sex was a spiritual endeavor—a means of venerating the gods and goddesses. On days of worship, temples dedicated to Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty, Demeter, the goddess of fertility, and Dionysus, the god of wine and ecstasy, were purified and decorated with the intent to cater to the senses, promote erotic revelry, and coax devotees to abandon themselves to the sexual realm.

Bathing was an important aspect of their sexual ceremonies; water, like food and wine, was plentiful. The aroma of incense and fresh flowers mingled with the distinct musk of sex and rose to the heavens. Soft cushions made of finely woven fabrics from faraway lands framed the libidinous landscape of inebriated lovers gyrating in harmony to lascivious tunes wafting from the flutes and lyres of dancing auletrides. These sultry sacred prostitutes helped the hetaerae—the most seductive, powerful, and wealthy women in ancient Greece—to fund, with the art of loving, the raising of some of the most lavish temples in the ancient world.

The goal of the devoted worshippers was to become one with themselves, their partners, and ultimately with the gods and goddesses who commanded the generating forces of the universe. Body, mind, and spirit became charged with the sexual vibration over the course of extended periods of arousal as lovers merged.

Such sacred rituals are an ecstatic source of inspiration for your elaboration of the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony—whether you are married or single, heterosexual or homosexual, have children or not. By learning to engage the entire body, mind, and spirit as a sexual, sensual whole, lovers transcend the doldrums of predominantly genitally oriented (PGO) sex to experience together the greater dimensions of the sacred realm of pleasure.

This transcension evolves spontaneously, ritual after creative ritual, when lovers are emotionally connected and experienced in the arts of the Sexual Ceremony. But if an experienced lover wishes to initiate a novice and share its powers, this should be done gradually and only with his or her consent.

The Sexual Ceremony begins with mindful preparation, which transforms into sexual anticipation; continues in the development and evolution of sexual pleasures with a partner, transforming the gradual mounting of sexual tension into the highest peaks of mutual pleasure; and ends with a slow “coming down” from the sexual high, which transforms into deeply intimate shared bonds and satisfaction.

PLATE IX BONDAGE SESSION WITH FRENCH BOWLINE (CORD CUFFS), SHOWING “NO” ZONES

PLATE X HOG-TIE BONDAGE SESSION WITH CORDS, CHEST HARNESS, BLINDFOLD, MOUTH GAG, AND NIPPLE CLAMPS

PLATE XI THE PRUSIK KNOT

PLATE XII THE BASIC SHIBARI RESTRAINT

SHARING YOUR GENEROSITY: INITIATING

The benefits of the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony cannot be overstated. Nourishing the vitality of the libido regularly and in a ritualized context unites lovers and revives the luster and spontaneity of long-term monogamous relationships—evoking the beginning of the relationship and those precious hours stolen away in the service of ecstasy. The Sexual Ceremony has the power to reignite the spontaneity of the sexual vibration that first bound you together, as well as enforce the bond of new love. Making sexual satisfaction a priority is essential to the harmony, happiness, and longevity of all couples.

The easiest way to initiate a novice is to invite him or her to read the introduction to The Boudoir Bible, but the best way, if the laws of attraction haven’t already gotten you in a frenzy, is to talk with the novice about the philosophy of the Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony. Few will argue with the generous nature of your ecstatic intentions—to accompany them on the discovery of the extent of his or her pleasure potential. But never try to force your ideas on anyone.

If a novice accepts your invitation, expound on the merits of your favorite tools and techniques. Be the example: voice your own needs and desires as well as your limits, and encourage your partner to do likewise. Listen and help him or her to overcome any embarrassment that communication about sexual matters can evoke, especially if physical or emotional limits are a concern. It will set a positive tone to the ritual, inspire trust, and put new partners at ease.

If the novice is a man, and you bring up the subject of ejaculation control, be prepared to explain why you shouldn’t be misunderstood for an inconsiderate lover. The novice woman is less likely to object to the idea of being venerated at length. But in light of the fact that many women have “masculinized” their pleasure in order to adapt to the limitations of male sexual urgency, and others have yet even to experience orgasm, the need to explain the benefits of extended playtime remain, equally pertinent.

Whether one is a novice or experienced, personal limits change from day to day, from ritual to ritual, and from partner to partner; no single sexual encounter will ever be just like another. This is one of the many reasons for developing and refining sexual communication skills, and it is essential to a positive outcome, even when partners think they know each other well. The best time to share limits—physical, emotional, or even spiritual—is before the Sexual Ceremony begins. These “guidelines” for your partner may indicate that you don’t wish to venture into anal territory, for example, or that you feel too vulnerable to be bound. Open, honest communication helps to ensure a heavenly ascent!

ANTICIPATION: THE CEREMONY OPENS

At the dawn of the Christian era, after the gods and goddesses of fertility, wine, and love were dethroned from the heavens, the concept of planning for sexual pleasure was likewise desanctified. The Paradise Found Sexual Ceremony brings the sacred back into sex, allowing us to create our own personal paradise where the stresses of everyday life, as well as the doldrums of everyday sex (or lack thereof!) can be transcended with profound sexual pleasure.

Most people consider great sex to be the ripe fruit of spontaneity and the idea of “planning” for pleasure synonymous with the extinction of the mysteries of sex. But in the context of the Sexual Ceremony, good planning is actually the fuel of spontaneity and inspiration.

Planning the ceremony a day or two days or even two weeks in advance is a potent form of psychological foreplay. It leads to sexual anticipation even before you and your partner have closed the doors on reality and commenced your ascent into the sexual dimension together. Planning ahead also permits you to thoughtfully clear away the reminders of everyday life, set the stage for the fulfillment of your desires, and prime your minds and bodies for the reception of pleasure. And then, once the curtains are drawn and the candles are lit, it is time to enjoy …

ABANDON YOURSELF: THE CEREMONY UNFOLDS

Lovers meet in the sacred space they have prepared with only one intention: to seek and provide sensual pleasure together. They abandon themselves to it, allowing the ceremony to progress in a crescendo of gradually more intense sensations focused on pleasure alone until a hypnotic “buzz”—an erotic trance—lifts them to ecstatic heights.

As in any ceremony, the Sexual Ceremony unfolds in phases, or sessions. These phases may be determined by a theme or a specific tool or technique, but they are always commanded by desire and unravel spontaneously through the ecstatic interaction of aroused partners. The ability of lovers to gradually heighten sexual tension through genital and extra-genital stimulation shapes the delectable rhythm of each phase. Worship the most plentiful source of the sexual vibration—the genitals—in alternation or in coordination with other erogenous zones of the body throughout the duration of the session. One of you may beg for more, but the limits established at the beginning of the ceremony must be respected. Women, explore your multiorgasmic capacity; men, ride the highest orgasmic wave over and over, until the pleasures become unbearable and crash over you, signaling the ending of the ceremony.

SATIATED LOVERS: THE CEREMONY CLOSES

The longer and more intense the journey, the higher lovers are likely to fly and the more time they will need to come down from the inebriating effects of endorphin elation. This culmination may be only one of many phases in the overall ceremony, or it may be the final “coming down” of two deeply satiated lovers. Taking the time to revel in the afterglow infuses the body, mind, and spirit with physical and emotional benefits.

Your descent from the heavenly heights will be as pleasurable as the ascent when you come down gently together—lying together, bathing each other, or preparing a ritual meal in preparation for your return to reality. Appreciate the moment—now that you have the keys to your personal Paradise, you may open that door together again whenever you wish.