Chapter Thirty-One

Grace tried to reach Chloe on the ride back to the house, but she wouldn’t pick up. She followed Blaise as he sped around corners and made sharp turns. Something was wrong. Did someone get hurt? He wouldn’t answer her frantic questions.

“We need to get home,” he said.

Grace had thought of every possible terrible scenario on the five-minute drive back. One of the kids was hurt. Beau had a heart attack. But wouldn’t they go to the hospital if that were the case?

Her heart hammered in her chest as she skid to a stop behind Blaise. He jumped out. In her haste to follow, she lost her balance and sprawled onto the road scraping her hands. Her head spun, but she forced herself up, no one the wiser, and wiped little pieces of tar out of the heel of her hands. She’d have to clean that.

Chloe, Colton, and Cash gathered on the front porch. Chloe slumped forward with her elbows on her knees and her hands on her face. Cash rubbed at his arms and then stared at his palms. Colton raised an eyebrow at Blaise.

“What happened?” Blaise said.

Colton came down the steps first. “Beau packed up.”

“Packed up?” Grace turned in circles. Beau’s truck was gone. She ran past them and into the house. The ladders were gone, the tools too. The kitchen was only half done, the bathrooms even less. The floors were covered in dust. The place looked like the cliffhanger ending to a house-renovation show. “Beau?” she asked, knowing he wasn’t there.

That’s what all the calls were about. Dixie told on her. Beau and Hoke were either trying to get her to stop or at least giving her the courtesy of knowing the project was done. The house was no longer hers. She’d lost it. She’d lost the chance to prove to herself and everyone else she had what it took to take a risk. Grace Starr wasn’t a new woman. She was a fool again. Larry did know her best.

She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. She pulled her knees into her chest. Tears threatened and her palms hurt. She swallowed hard. She didn’t want to cry. She had no job, no home, no family. Blaise had been right too. Why was it so important to know who gave her this house? Knowing wasn’t going to change the fact her mother had a mental illness and her father wanted nothing to do with her. Knowing wasn’t going to give her a big family to sit down to at Thanksgiving dinner. Knowing wasn’t going to fill the void in her chest that not belonging to anyone created. She bit her lip to stifle the groan pushing its way out.

Blaise poked his head around the front door, and she looked away. His footsteps echoed in the empty room. He plopped down next to her and pulled his legs up to match hers. “You okay?”

She shook her head.

“Beau stopped construction. Hoke told him to. It seems Dixie did overhear you and Savannah at the library. I’m sorry, Grace.”

She was afraid to open her mouth because the tears would come and she didn’t want Blaise to see her cry. “You were right.”

“If you want, I could try to talk to him. Maybe he’ll listen since he knew my parents. Colton said he’d come with me.”

“No, thank you, though. You and your brother are very sweet to offer. It’s my fault. I knew the parameters, and I ignored them. Now I have nothing.”

He placed his bandaged hand over her knee. “You took a chance. That’s all. Sometimes they pay off, and sometimes they don’t.”

“I don’t take chances, Blaise. I’ve always been too afraid to lose, and the one time I do take a chance I screw myself up. I should have known better.”

“It’s okay to make a mistake, Grace.”

“Okay for who? You? It’s not okay for me. I can’t afford to make mistakes. I don’t have anyone looking out for me. No one has my back.” She thought of the way Blaise was with his siblings. She’d give anything to have a brother or sister to call at that moment because no matter how good her friendship was with Jenn, Grace would never call now and ask for help. Any help.

“You know, sometimes we have to rely on the people in our lives at the time. I’ve made some big mistakes in my life. I don’t beat myself up over it. There isn’t any point. What’s done is done. I move forward and worry about the present moment. You could try that.”

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Right now I don’t feel like trying anything. I need to make a plan.” She pushed herself up off the floor and wiped the dirt from her pants.

“Don’t make any decisions right now. Give yourself some time. Come to my house for dinner later.”

They stepped out into the hot sunshine. Colton and Cash were gone. Chloe sat glued to her phone on the front steps. The street was alive with activity. Two boys raced down the road on their bikes, shouting to each other. Across the street the Bucknells weeded their landscaping. A lawnmower growled in the distance. Two women dressed in bright exercise clothes braved the heat and walked down the sidewalk deep in conversation. The poplar trees were full and lush, lining Dogwood Drive and offering spots for shade. Her own poplar bathed the front porch in cool shade. She really did picture a porch swing with floral pillows to rest against, but that wouldn’t happen now. Not for her anyway.

“Grace, what do you say? Dinner, my place? I’ll use the one tomato I grew in the garden.”

She dragged her gaze away from the neighborhood and back to Blaise. He smiled at her. His gray eyes twinkled.

“No, thank you. We have to pack.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “The invitation is open. Just come by. See you, Chloe.”

She watched him cross the lawn and amble up his own porch. He turned with a wave and went inside. Her heart hitched.

“Mom, what are we going to do? We can’t stay here like this, and we don’t have anywhere to live in New Jersey. What’s your plan, Mom, because I’m not going back to Dad’s?”

Grace threw her hands up. “Chloe, not now. I can’t handle your questions. I don’t have a plan, okay?” She plopped down on the top step and rested her head on her knees. The tears threatened again, and she had to bite her lip to stop them. She wouldn’t cry now. Couldn’t cry because if she started, she might not stop.

Chloe placed a hand on her back. “Mom, are you okay?”

Grace lifted her head and dropped her chin into her hands. She looked out onto the street. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”

“Mom, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

She looked at Chloe. She wanted to brush the hair away from her daughter’s face, but she held her hands in place. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Chloe made a face. “You have to say that. You’re my mother.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s true.” Grace looked back out to the street. “I’m sorry I screwed this all up. I had to know who gave me this house. I was hoping it was someone I was related to. I’ve always wanted a big family, and this was going to be my one chance.”

“We’re a family.”

“You’re right, but you’re going off to college and you’ll be living your own life soon. There won’t be space for me.” She bit her lip again. The idea of being alone cracked open her heart. It wasn’t what she wanted. It wasn’t what she planned. Her worst fears were being realized.

“I won’t be far, and I’ll come home on weekends and stuff.” Chloe looked back at the house. “If we have some place to live.” Her tone suggested Chloe was attempting to lighten the mood.

Pride tried to mend Grace’s heart, but it wasn’t enough. Her daughter wasn’t hers to keep. She always knew that, but today with the loss of everything, giving Chloe over to her own life was irrefutable—and stung like bleach in the eyes.

“Having you visit will be nice.” Don’t forget about me. Grace wanted to beg, but the words screamed only in her head.

“It’s going to be okay, Mom.”

Grace patted Chloe’s knee. “It will.” But she kept staring out into the street, as if the answers would appear in the form of a neighbor carrying a pecan pie or the mailman waving as he passed. Did it snow in Heritage River? She wouldn’t be around to see if it did. That thought made the tears want to come all over again.

She’d fallen for this little town. It had snuck up on her when she wasn’t looking and warmed her insides like hot apple cider. The Disaster House, which she was starting to refer to with something like love, was taking shape. Grace could see her beauty under all the dirt and dust. This house could be a home, just not hers. How long would they give her to move out? Would Hoke be standing at the door before day’s end with the sheriff, ready to evict her? When would Dixie shove the for sale sign into the lawn?

She’d fallen for her neighbor. His southern charm and twinkling eyes. His ability to live in the moment and take chances. He lived life. He didn’t watch it go by, as she had for so many years. He made her laugh. She was learning not to take herself so seriously. Who else could show her how to do that?

“Should we start packing?” Chloe’s words dragged Grace away from her sorrowful thoughts.

“I don’t know.” She didn’t have the strength even to throw her few items into boxes. If Hoke didn’t bang on the door tonight, they could start tomorrow. What would one more day hurt?

“I’m sorry, Mom. I know you wanted this house to work out for a lot of different reasons. But things will work out. You’ll see. Don’t you always tell me when one door closes another one opens?”

“It helps if you don’t shut your own foot in the door in the process.”

“What?”

“Never mind. Thanks for the pep talk.” Chloe was a smart girl. She would be fine in the great big world. Maybe Grace hadn’t screwed up with her daughter completely.

“Are you hungry?”

The last thing Grace wanted to do was eat. “Not really, but I can take you into town if you want to get something.”

Chloe held up her phone. “Cash asked if I wanted to walk into town with him. He’s kind of disappointed he lost his job again. Would you be okay if I went to cheer him up? I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to. We can order takeout and watch movies.”

Grace smiled. “We can do a girls’ night some other time. Go enjoy dinner.” It would be one of Chloe’s last nights here. She might as well enjoy it. “Don’t stay out late and make good choices.” She didn’t want her to enjoy herself too much.

“Oh, Mom. Like I’d do anything stupid with college just a few weeks away. I’m going to clean up a little. Thanks.” Chloe kissed the top of her head and ran inside.

Grace stayed glued to her place on the porch. She waved after Chloe and Cash as they glided down the street toward town. Just as they were turning the corner, Cash slid his hand into Chloe’s. Hopefully, it was nothing more than a summer crush. They both had their whole lives ahead of them. Mistakes could so easily be made. She knew better than anyone.

The sun began its descent and cast long shadows on the lawn. The mosquitos kicked up and made a meal out of Grace’s skin, but she didn’t move. Where was she going to go? Not inside. She couldn’t bear it.

When Larry found out she’d failed, he’d have himself a knee-slapping laugh with a side of I told you so. She’d want to wipe that smug look off his face. She never needed him. She just wanted someone to say I love you and mean it. He was the biggest mistake of her life. She only had Chloe to show for that marriage. That was enough, but she wanted more now. So much more.

Lights popped on in Blaise’s house. What was he doing? Was he wondering if she’d take him up on his offer for dinner? Was he setting the table for three? She didn’t want to sit with Colton and make small talk. She might choke on small talk.

There was something she did want to do. It would be another risk and she wasn’t sure she was ready to take a chance again, but it was now or never. The loss of the house, the start of Savannah’s friendship and the fundraiser, the possibility of a family, even losing Cash his job, made her insides burn. She didn’t want to care anymore. She was tired of being Grace Starr. She wanted to be someone else just for one night. Someone who hadn’t lived her life in fear.

She pushed herself off the porch and marched across the lawn. She didn’t care what she looked like or how desperate she would appear. This was what she wanted. Just for one night. One moment in time. The only moment that would count.

She rang Blaise’s bell. She scrunched her eyes shut, trying to keep the rational Grace from invading her thoughts. “Shut up.” This was her time.

She was about to knock when Colton yanked the door open. Her nerve wavered. What was she thinking? “Hi.” The single word was all she could manage.

“Blaise said you were coming for dinner.” Colton stepped aside to let her in.

Grace wrung her hands, took a deep breath. “Could you ask him to come out here?” If she stepped inside and let the comfort of his home surround her, her thoughts would jumble. She would forget what propelled her across the lawn. And she didn’t want to forget. She wanted to feel it. All of it. The anger, the pain, the fluttery stomach as if she were about to jump off the high dive.

Colton raised his eyebrows.

He knew. Heat filled her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “Would you mind getting him?” If she had to ask again, she’d lose her nerve.

“I’ll go get him.” He walked away, leaving the door open. He didn’t go far before he yelled, “Blaise, someone’s at the door for you.” He laughed and turned down the hall toward the bedrooms.

Grace imagined this very same scene with them as teenagers. Heat filled her cheeks again. How many girls came calling for the young and irresistible Blaise Savage? She shook her head. No time to think like that. Those other women or girls don’t matter. Only now mattered.

Blaise came from the kitchen. He smoothed his hair back when he saw her and smiled. That damn smile would be the end of her. Her knees wanted to buckle.

“Hey.” He leaned against the doorjamb. “I’m glad you made it. You want to come in? Dinner’s almost ready.”

“No. Would you…” She had to swallow the knot tying up her vocal chords. “Would you take me to the lake?”

“The lake? Now? Why?”

She couldn’t say it with so many lights on. “Can I tell you when we get there?”

“Okay. Let me grab my keys.” He stepped away from the door and scooped up his keys from the hall table. “Colton, I’m running out.”

Colton yelled something back that sounded like “condom.” Grace nearly ran back to the house to hide. Instead, she stepped off the porch into the shadows of the night and waited.

Blaise opened the truck door for her, and she slid in. He ran around the front and hopped inside beside her. They didn’t speak until he was off Dogwood Drive.

“Can you tell me why you wanted to go to the lake?”

She watched his profile as he navigated the streets. She wanted to commit it to memory so she’d have something to think about on the long nights back in Jersey while she tried to sew her life back together.

“Once we get there.” She didn’t trust herself to talk. When they were at the lake with nothing more than the moonlight to guide them, she could show him what she wanted. She didn’t have to use any words.

“You’ve got my curiosity up.” He winked. He was silent as he drove the truck farther from town. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about the house?”

“I’m going back to Jersey. I hope Hoke will let me have a few days to gather my belongings.”

“What are you going to do when you get there?”

“I have no idea. Find a job, I guess. All my volunteer work at the library has to count for something, doesn’t it?”

“You could stay here and find a job.”

“Everyone will know by morning that I lost the house. I can’t live here with people whispering behind my back every time I walk down Main Street. Staying wasn’t the plan anyway. Fixing, selling, going back. That was my plan.”

“Sometimes plans change.”

She stared at him. Those words echoed in her head with a new vibration.

He turned off the main road onto the dirt road leading to the lake. The tall grass swayed around them as he navigated the bumps and divots in the dark. He pulled into the open area to park. Another car sat dark and empty.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones out tonight,” he said.

She hadn’t thought about having the company of others to deal with. They were alone the other times they’d come. Why didn’t she think that a place like this would be a haven for teens to come to and make out? She leaned her head back against the rest and sighed. “It’s just not my day.”

“Were you planning something?” He turned the truck off and faced her.

She stared at the truck’s roof. “I wasn’t thinking it all the way through. I’m sorry to have dragged you out here. We can go back.”

He hit the ignition button and pulled the truck out, but he didn’t head back down the dirt road. He circled to the backside of the lake, closer to the houses. The spot was more secluded with tall trees acting as cover. He hopped out but left the lights on.

He waved her out. “Follow me.”

“Where are we going?” She tried to see around the trees, but the crescent moon didn’t offer enough light, and the headlights casted their narrow glow straight ahead.

“See? Sometimes plans change for the better, Grace.” He led her down a narrow path that opened to a clearing by the lake. A small dock jutted out into the water, and a set of cement stairs led to the house behind them. The truck’s lights still shone, and she could make out two Adirondack chairs facing the water. The space was private; the other house was too far away to see this part of the lake.

“That house up there?” Blaise pointed to the darkened house up the hill behind them. “That’s old Billy Lewis’s house. He’s away visiting his grandkids in Tulsa. Goes every summer for a couple of months when they’re off school. That old dock is his. No one comes here because they’re afraid Billy might run out with his shot gun if he catches them trespassing.”

“You’re sure we should be here?”

“He liked my dad. Said we could come fishing any time we wanted. Colton comes out here when he wants to be alone. Billy pretty much ignores him when he isn’t telling him what to do.”

“Do you always bring the ladies out here?” She didn’t see a good spot that offered coverage if someone should walk up on them. Heck, she didn’t even think to bring a blanket. Her nerve was shrinking. This was a bad idea.

“Hey, I was twenty the last time I brought someone here. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. She still lived at home, and I couldn’t exactly bring a girl back to my house when my dad was home.”

He brought a local girl here. “Does she still live in town?”

“Nope, she married her college sweetheart. He played baseball for a minor league team in Texas. They moved away when he got signed. Haven’t seen her in nearly thirty years.”

“She won’t be jealous, then?”

“Probably forgot my name.”

“But you slept with her?” Her nerves were making her lips loose. Did it matter what he did all those years ago?

He took her hands in his and looked down at her. “I didn’t sleep with every woman who threw herself at me. I wanted to be with someone who liked me for me, not because I was in some band.”

“You expect me to believe that as a young man you didn’t hop into bed with every woman who wanted to when there were probably thousands willing? Come on.”

“I wasn’t an angel, no way. I won’t lie to you. Those women never meant anything to me, and after a while I wanted more than waking up next to a woman I wasn’t going to see ever again. That was why I married Melissa. I thought she really loved me for me. I was wrong about that.”

“You know what? None of it matters. What matters is right now. I want to forget about today and all that I lost. I want to gain something. I want to know I’m not the same person who flew down here weeks ago. Can you help me with that?”

He pulled her close and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Grace, I don’t want to wake up next to a woman I won’t see ever again.”

“I don’t want to worry about the morning. Let’s just concentrate on right now. Just the two of us. Nothing else matters.”

“What matters is you’re going back to New Jersey in a few days.”

“You’re leaving on tour soon. How is that any different?” She snaked her arms around his neck. His lines and contours felt good against her curves.

“It’s not different. You’re right. I live my life on the road, and I promised myself I wouldn’t get seriously involved again. It’s not easy being with a music man. I miss special events, holidays. Someone like you would resent me in time. I can’t have you staring up at me with those blue eyes full of hate.”

“I would never hate you, and I would never resent you.” But she would worry and wonder all the time. Who was he with? Was he thinking of her? Could someone else pull him away from her? “Blaise, we’ve got tonight. That’s all I care about.”

“It won’t be. And it won’t be for me. I want more, Grace.”

“What are you saying?”

He held her shoulders and took a long look at her. “Woman, I’m saying I don’t want a one-night stand.”

“So you don’t want me, then?”

“No, I never said that. I’d take you right now on the sand, but I won’t take advantage of how you’re feeling right now. I won’t take advantage of our situation. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you.”

“I don’t understand. How are you feeling these things about me? We just met, and I’m nothing special.” She knew he was attracted to her, but there was more and she didn’t know why. Why her?

“Hang on a second.” He ran back to the truck. She couldn’t see what he was doing behind the glare of the lights, but music filled the air. A slow melody of a guitar with the low rumblings of a man’s voice.

He returned and took her in his strong arms, his head close to hers. He smelled clean and masculine, and she wanted to get lost in his scent. “One more thing.” He yanked off the brace and entwined his fingers through hers.

“Your hand.”

“It’s fine.”

He held her hand against his chest. They swayed to the song drifting toward them like a breeze. “This song reminds me of you. I’ve wanted to dance with you to it since I met you.”

“Blaise?”

He interrupted her. “When I first met you, I thought you were a gigantic pain in the ass.” He laughed, and she relaxed against him. “But I saw how you fought for what you wanted even when everyone else told you not to. I’ve never really been able to do that. Fight for what I want. It’s always been easier to follow my big brother around and let him tell me what I wanted.”

She thought of the music he had written. “You can still fight for what you want.”

“After the tour, maybe.” He inched away and looked down at her. “Grace, you showed me how to be a better father and gave me a chance to save my relationship with Cash. Then it was you who fought for my son. You believed in him when no one else had. I knew then.”

He stopped, and her heart caught in her throat. “You knew what?”

He held her close again. The music kept playing, and he continued to sway with her in the glow of the headlights. “I knew how I felt about you.”

Her heart was bursting. She hadn’t planned to feel so much. She just wanted to come here and have sex with him. Prove to herself she could win at taking a risk, but her heart was invested so deeply. The real risk would be believing in her feelings for him, trusting him.

“Blaise, this is what I want. It’s what I’ve wanted for a while now, but I was afraid. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

He leaned in and kissed her lips with a gentle ease. “It’s not right. You deserve more than a man on the road all the time. You deserve a man who can wake up next to you every morning and take care of you.”

She pushed away from him. “Who cares about right? And I don’t need a man to take care of me. I let a man take care of me because I thought that was what a marriage was supposed to be, and look how that ended up. I do want to wake up beside someone again, and I should have a say as to who that is. You don’t want to be with me because I’m leaving and you’re leaving. Well, stay then. Don’t go on that tour. Produce your music. It’s good. It would sell. Your fans would trip over themselves to hear new music from you. Stop following your brother around.”

She hadn’t meant to say so much, but the words tumbled out and she couldn’t put them back in. He stared at her, mouth open.

He clenched his good fist. “Stay in Heritage River. Fight for that house. Tell Hoke and Beau you still want it. Forget about Claire Phillips and whoever bought the house for you. Take a chance on me.”

He didn’t understand her at all. “This was a mistake.” She turned and marched up the narrow path and past the truck. The music had stopped. She didn’t know the way back to the house, but she’d manage somehow to find it.

“Grace, where are you going?”

She ignored his shouts and kept going.

The truck door slammed, and the engine growled. The headlights lit up the path in front of her. He eased the truck alongside her on the dirt road. “Get in the truck.”

“No.”

“Grace, get in the truck. You can’t walk back.”

“I can walk back, and I will. I don’t need you—or anyone, for that matter. I’ve been on my own my whole life. Never had parents who really cared, and then I married an asshole. Get away from me, Blaise.”

“Get in the fucking truck, Grace,” he shouted.

She jumped but kept marching forward. He wasn’t going to upset her with his language. He sped up, and her shoulders sagged a little. He was going to let her walk back, after all. Stupid idea of hers. She’d have to call Chloe or a cab once she hit the main road.

The truck veered left and blocked her path on the road. Blaise jumped out of the truck.

“Get in.” He stood with his hands on hips and his feet squared.

The anger seeped out of her. It was a long walk back, and she wasn’t the bravest at night alone. “I don’t want to get in.”

He ran a hand over his face. “Please let me take you home. After that you can be done with me if you want.”

She wasn’t sure what had happened. How did this night get so out of control? She wanted to run to him, tell him she’d stay, but her feet wouldn’t move. They weren’t right for each other. Never had been.

She marched around him, careful not to get within reach. “Fine. Take me home.”

Home. That was a joke.