Autumn Moon

    . . . the moon comes up in her

secondness, left edge not

filled in quite, the abject not filled in quite

but trying . . .

The infinitely ‘being called’ then

not chosen,

also the fear of being surpassed, cast

off, you know, not needed . . .

When first he—no. When you

first stepped from the restaurant, your

bodies annointed with peppermint and sweet

herbs, a sliver of moon snagged on his lip . . .

She said

it helps to know

Van Gogh with his

obsession for yellow—

He tried the windows and he tried—

nope.

    He tried the windows then

    he tried the doors.

haiku in translation it would be like this

autumn moon colon

some wine stains on white linen

his separate past

. . . and the sense

of those dear, fugitive hours, all

erased, erasable!

Still . . .

Through the tic-tac-toe of the steel

window grid, the start

of one gold O

then the game is given up—

Some heavy, hopeful

woolen clouds over it—

no use.

The Democratic party . . .

—and kept working hard on this

instead of the one about

the father, who was, of course,

‘the sun’

—and saw some swirling

mist over it, notes from

ex-wives over the years, their gracious

almost stupid handwriting—

female creativity, avoiding

the issue of talking

about the father who was

of course ‘the sun’

Halloween: with your tiny one

you stand on the curbside, beam

the flashlight up to its

tin cathedrals—

the desire to be

understood though being

understood was not

what you meant . . .

Raindrops off the eaves

make the cage

for the waning moon,

the satisfied one . . .

A rich word

used casually in conversation

(‘inveigled’) swells

as you use it through the days

When it really is very

crescent, Die

Valkerie, the memory

of large, bruised women—

calcium

bufferin

halcyon

aspirin

Sometimes over Tomales Bay at its half

the blue has leaked in through the lace

edge so it really looks unfinished

like a feminine—what?—something

—so why every

month the white expansion,

that tyrant

drop of estrogen?

    . . . and how could you not have reflected him?

When you were called into the lubianka of the soul,

the question chamber you yourself contained,

it was always he who was there . . .

Passing Kehoe Beach

spotted moon with moth-

spotted hawk

under her

then in your dark

corner of heaven, to learn

the beauty of your life,

you had to leave something out . . .

Woman poet—hateful term!

Sometimes you despised

the moon with her

hymn of granite—

three quarters gone

in the faded sky: his Levi’s

button

just unbuttoned

Send it back!

Send back what was on the right,

the shadow of the feminine, the pastel.

She wasn’t nice now, was she.

—order within an incompleteness, the cut

tip of a scallion.

Women poets don’t have world views,

said the male poet—

hard isn’t it. Almost full again.

If you press gently

at the edges, at

the dark spots in the poem, it may

spring open—